Missing data
by pumpie2
Summary: Spock is left confused and shocked after a surprising event. SLASH K/S beginnings fic. Rating may rise in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: this is my first K/S fic ever so please be gentle. R&R

Spock watched his captain and the doctor argue amongst themselves with interest. How strange that they remained such good friends when 78.65% of the time they were arguing about one subject or another.

Kirk let his eyes drift down towards the table they were seated around as McCoy began one of his signature lectures, and Spock stared at him trying to register the emotions fluttering across the mans features, boredom mixed with dissipating anger, it was fascinating.

Spock stopped staring for a moment and looked down at his salad, knowing that looking at a human for an extended period tended to make them uncomfortable. He tensed when he felt Kirks fingers land near to his own hand which Spock moved away quickly so as to avoid any accidental touch.

Much to his surprise Kirks fingers followed, and Spock looked up his eyebrows rising slightly in a Vulcan frown, the captain seemed deep in thought and continued to move his fingers after Spock as though he were chasing the touch. Spock suddenly felt his heart rate pick up, what was the captain doing? Did he not know the meaning of what he was attempting?

Spock gazed at the captain, also lost in his own thoughts when he felt a light brush against his index finger, an electric touch that made him jump out of his seat and stare down at Kirk,

"Captain!"

Kirk looked up innocently, and tilted his head as though he were confused.

"Spock? Are you alright?"

McCoy stopped his rant and glanced between the two men, frowning at Kirk

"What did you do?" he snapped at his friend and when Kirk finally looked at the doctor Spock turned and walked towards the exit trying to quell the shock welling up inside him.

He allowed himself a quick glance back to asses the captains' reaction when saw McCoy earnestly explaining a Vulcan kiss and the captains shocked and embarrassed response.

Spock turned back and strode quickly through the halls of the ship until he reached his office, sweet solitude. The Vulcan locked his door behind him and seated himself next to the desk, staring out of the small window into the fast moving space. He frowned again trying to make sense of what had just happened, and the curious ache in his abdomen when he thought about the kiss the captain had unwillingly laid on him.

The Vulcan allowed himself to repeat the memory in his mind, trying to understand how the captain had not known about this; he knew the captain had read all of the doctor's textbooks whilst they were at the academy, and so he would have read about Vulcan's touch telepathy and the significance of touching hands. It was then he remembered the flash of emotion he had gotten for that brief moment, _guilt_.

The Vulcan sighed, and stood knowing he must go to his quarters and meditate, try to understand the curious ache and to decide whether or not it were a medical issue. He unlocked the door, and watched it slide open revealing the captin stood just outside, hand raised as though he were about to ring for Spock.

The Vulcan raised an eyebrow, and put his hands behind his back. Kirk looked up at him sheepishly "Spock, I'm sorry"

"It is quite alright captain"

Spock looked down at the shorter man, whose eyes were full of so much emotion, features switching between relief unease and embarrassment, it was truly fascinating.

"I didn't…"

Spock raised his eyebrow a fraction interrupting the captain "Perhaps you should re-read doctor McCoy's xenobiology textbooks captain"

The captain flushed and Spock watched it spread with interest.

"I guess I will" the captain shrugged, clearly still embarrassed.

"Excuse me captain, I was intending to retire to my quarters and meditate"

Spock bowed his head slightly and walked past the captain, deftly ignoring his slightly raised heart rate.

In the following weeks the captain kept himself at least a metre away from Spock at all times, careful not to touch his arm or touch knees under the dining table. Spock found the ache in his abdomen did not fade, although no other clearly defined symptoms surfaced so he did not visit the doctor and he endeavoured to suppress thoughts about its origin. Because of this he did not discover its cause until the night of the spring formal dance aboard the ship.

He was stood in the bathroom he shared with Kirk, carefully trimming his hair using his shears and the large mirror. Spock ignored the familiar ache when he thought about the captain and what he would be doing at the ball.

The entire crew would be there, dancing and consuming alcoholic drinks, enjoying themselves. Spock openly frowned at his reflection, it was true that he himself derived no pleasure from such activities, but he did confess that being in the company of the personnel that considered him a friend did elicit contentment from him he had never experienced in his youth and a strange feeling he had not yet fully comprehended. One of belonging, and although he disliked their constant attempts to include him in the frivolities he found it fascinating that they would consider him above other much more suited humans to be included.

Spock suppressed a vocal expression, muscles tensing when Kirk suddenly strode into their shared space. Both men staring at each other for a moment, Spock relaxing when he realised it was not an intruder.

He placed the shears on the unit and turned tucking his hands behind his back, suddenly very aware that he had decided to disrobe his uniform blue sweater and black undershirt to avoid covering them in shorn hair clippings.

Kirks eyes wandered down his chest and Spock felt a blush rise in his ears at the scrutiny.

"Captain?"

"Spock"

"I was not aware you were present"

Spock cursed himself, knowing that his assumption he was alone had allowed him to become distracted. If it had been an intruder he would not have sensed them until it was possibly too late.

Spock straightened himself a little tilting his head at Kirk.

"Didn't feel like partying tonight"

Kirk seemed distracted and Spock frowned remaining silent.

"What about you Spock? Wont Uhura be a bit mad if you are late?"

The captain looked up locking his expressive gaze on Spock's cold stare. Spock took a moment to reply,

"Why would that be captain?" he was being intentionally evasive and he knew it.

"Spock has something happened between you two?"

Spock's insides seemed to clench when he detected a hint of hope in the captains tone, although this did not make sense. He let his eyes fall to the ground "Lieutenant Uhura has ended our agreement"

Kirk gasped and Spock's eyes flickered up "Oh I'm sorry Spock"

Kirks fingers twitched and Spocks glanced at them with longing. Ignoring this feeling as soon as it surfaced. "It is alright captain… I must confess I had expected this eventuality"

Kirk raised an eyebrow "oh?"

Spock remained silent.

"I mean go... go on… I mean if that's okay with you? I know your half Vulcan and everything, but talking about thing generally makes people feel better, but that's only if you want too I'm not being nosy I just want to make sure your okay…" Kirk blushed his eyes closing for a moment in embarrassment.

Spock let his mouth twitch in a unperceivable smile "That would be agreeable captain if you would allow me to dress first, I must confess to feeling rather exposed "

Spock knew he was blushing a light green, trying to understand why he had felt the need to be so honest with Kirk.

"Jim… call me Jim Spock. We are not working now"

Jim sighed, eyes flickering over Spock, before gesturing to his own quarters "I'll… I'll be in my room when you're ready"

Spock shivered as the door closed behind the shorter man, the longing that had flickered in his captains eyes affecting him strongly. After replacing his black undershirt Spock stood in silence facing the door to the captain's room, finding it difficult to make the step over the threshold.

He glared at the sleek metal door, his mind whirring over everything he had been feeling recently, shock at his captain's actions, embarrassment, longing and everything that had happened, the kiss and the change in his and Nyotas relationship. The Vulcan sighed, knowing he was missing some valuable piece of data that would explain everything; he just needed to find it.

Spock straightened his shoulders letting out a claiming breath before letting himself into the captain's quarters. Jim was seated in one of the armchairs, PADD in hand; Spock walked forward a few steps and glanced down at his captain with interest, "Captain"

"Jim"

"My apologies Jim"

The captain grinned up at his first gesturing at the chair opposite. Spock nodded and sat down, watching the captain read "What are you reading Jim"

Spock smiled internally, relishing the use of his captain's first name. Jim looked up and grinned "It's a article by a man called Father Jack, on the nature of god and space travel"

Spock raised an eyebrow "I was not aware you had more than one father Jim"

Kirk chuckled "He isn't my father; it's a terran term for members of the church of Christianity, who lead sermons and stuff"

Kirk smiled at Spock, placing the PADD to his left on a small table.

"I see ca-Jim"

Kirk grinned crossing his legs, his face softening "So… what happened?"

Spock sat up a little straighter "Nyota informed that she is harbouring romantic feelings for another man and that she did not wish to harm me"

Kirk let out a low hum and nodded Spock relaxed a little "I informed her that I felt no malevolent emotions towards her and we agreed to remain friends"

Kirk was frowning and Spock tilted his head "What did she say to that?"

"She seemed, to use the terran term, 'put out' but overall rather pleased that we had reached an amicable split"

Kirk frowned again and they sat in silence for a moment "Spock?"

"Yes Jim?"

"Weren't you upset at all? You two have been together for two years and normally when relationships that have lasted that long end there is at least some sadness at the parting? Even you Spock half Vulcan be damned must feel something?"

Spock frowned considering the captains logic "I understand that it is illogical that I did not resist the split as I had been content with the relationship. However I am very fond of Nyota, and it seemed logical to accept her decision"

Spock was being evasive again, he had felt a spike of what seemed like irrational fear when Kirk had begun to delve deeper in to why they had broken up.

Into Spocks feelings.

Kirk turned his face slightly to the left and squinted at Spock "You didn't feel sad though? Surely even if you respected her decision and all that you'd still feel a bit sad for yourself?"

"It seems not captain"

"Jim"

Spocks lips twitched but he remained quiet "There must a be a reason…"

Spock shifted; this conversation was becoming uncomfortable

"Spock? Is there a reason you weren't upset that you broke up? Kirk asked his voice a quiet whisper.

Spock considered kirks flowering cactus with interest for a moment

"Spooock"

Spock sighed and started down at his captain's feet "I am not aware of the reason Jim; I can only say that I was not affected by the split"

Spock looked up and saw the strange expression he was receiving from Jim.

"Well Spock, as long as you are okay"

"I am"

Kirk pursed his lips for a moment and Spock decided to ask his own question "Why did you not wish to join in the frivolities Jim?"

Kirk blushed "I figured spending a night mothering a drunk Bones and watching … well watching people enjoy things I can't just didn't sound all that fun"

Kirk had begun mumbling to himself his anger evident.

"What are you unable to enjoy?"

Spock tilted his head his interest piqued Kirk flushed "I'm going to tell you something Spock, a secret"

Spock let his internal smile flourish, being trusted with a one of Jims secrets, truly a rare delight.

"I understand Jim"

Jim smiled for a second, his eyes becoming distant, vague pain evident deep in them. Spock suppressed the urge to acknowledge this.

"Truth is Spock, I… like someone, but I can't do anything about it and I th- I mean they would be at the dance and I didn't want to go a see them having fun with somebody else"

Spock was silent as he considered Jims secret. "I see Jim, but if you care for this person wouldn't you want to see them happy?"

Jim groaned "I do want to see him happy Spock, but humans experience a emotion called jealousy and it's painful to see someone you love being happy with somebody else"

Spock gasped internally, _him_? The captain was interested in a _male_ human?

He paused and decided since the captain had obviously let this slip accidently he should not press the issue

"I understand jealousy Jim" Spock's mouth twitched and Kirk blushed

"Oh I thought... I mean when have you ever been jealous of anybody?"

Spock titled his head "I was often jealous as a child, my peers relished in excluding me and I longed to be like them"

Spock raised an eyebrow and Kirks face fell "Oh Spock, you were jealous of them being fully Vulcan?"

Spock nodded, Kirks eyebrows lowered and he frowned "If they were here right now I swear I'd…"

Spock let out a soft chuckle and Kirk suddenly looked up, grinning widely when he realised he had made the Vulcan laugh "You are suggesting you would attack several Vulcan's simply because of an emotion they caused me in my youth?"

Kirk blushed but remained grinning "Yep, defiantly"

Spock looked down instantly; embarrassment carefully concealed knowing full well he couldn't hide the light green blush rising in his face.

"I appreciate the sentiment captain; however you would be outmatched as they have strength surpassing your own and are quite numerous"

Spock spoke quietly and Kirk laughed "You're probably right"

The two men sat in companionable silence for a moment before Spock looked at the time "I am sorry Jim, but I must rest to retain a healthy sleep schedule"

Jim laughed "Alright Spock" they both stood and Kirk walked his first to the bathroom door, hands in pockets,

"Goodnight Spock"

Spock paused back turned "Goodnight captain"

_Goodnight Th'y'la_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you everybody for your reviews! and a special thanks to the anonymous reviewer who left me a paragraph and no name to thank. Its people like you that keep me going (: This chapter was going to be massive, but i know how it is to trawl through reams of text all at once so I'll leave it here for now. new chapter up real soon

Spock knelt on his floor having gotten up early to meditate before his shift. He had needed it after his conversation with the captain and the revelations it had entailed. He had decided that it was not in his best interest to delve deeper into the captains words, or the thought he'd been unable to suppress as he had said goodnight.

He had called the captain th'y'la, and he had meant it.

Spock closed his eyes, clearing his mind so he would be able to work effectively, alpha shift was beginning in 10 minutes and he must appear unaffected at all costs.

Exiting his quarters he walked swiftly towards the nearest turbolift, raising an eyebrow when he spotted Jim listing to the left as he wandered ahead.

Spock managed his breathing and came up beside the shorter man "Are you well captain?"

Jim yawned stumbling sideways a little "Jus' a little tired Spock"

Spock nodded and slowed his pace to match the captains

"Mmm need coffee"

The captain wobbled and reached out for the replicator in the wall nearby, but in his sleepy haze he reached out dragging his fingers along Spock's sleeved arm.

Spock took a step back and the captain suddenly gripped him hard, pulling his sleeve up revealing a good portion of the taller mans wrist. The captain tried to steady himself but Spock was panicking and tried to wrench his arm away, this caused the captain to reach out and grip him tightly with his other arm.

Spock gasped at the sudden pressure of Kirks mind against his and the onslaught of emotions, tiredness, confusion shock and for a brief moment an ache not unlike his own.

The Vulcan knew he should push the captain off that his own mind would be imposing on Jims but the touch was addictive. Jim yelped pulling himself up and Spock reacted by throwing the captain off him, sending the shorter man sprawling against the wall breathing heavily.

Both captain and commander stared at each other for a moment, and Spock quickly hid his shock schooling his expression back to neutral.

"Spock? I'm ...I'm sorry I didn't mean to"

Jim's voice was thin weak, pleading. Spock turned quickly and reached out for the replicator, depositing the coffee in the captain's hands. Jim just stared but the Vulcan did not move, frozen in his stoic pose hands firmly behind his back, shoulders squared eyes watching intently

"Uh thanks?"

Spock nodded and turned back towards the turbo lifts striding for solitude.

"Spock wait!"

The captain, now fully awake rushed towards his first skidding into the lift just as the doors closed.

"Hey man, I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you or anything, I slipped! It was an accident"

Spock turned his head "I was not offended"

"Oh, oh right…okay then" Kirk turned and raised his eyebrows, sipping his coffee between glances at his first.

"Did... I mean did you read my mind?"

Spock raised an eyebrow "I was able to read some emotions"

"Oh…w...what emotions?"

It was at this moment the doors swung open to reveal the deck, and Spock swiftly strode forward glad to finally be at his station. Kirk remained in the lift for a moment before launching forward, bravado fully back in place.

Spock was clearly distracted, his efficiency had fallen by 3.12 minutes and although he tried to clear his mind he found himself unable to stop analyzing the captain's actions.

The incident in the hallways had lasted under 30 seconds (26.43 in facts) in its entirety but it had seemed to stretch out for much longer. A curious phenomenon that made Spock uneasy and seemed to double the dull ache in his abdomen making concentrating much more difficult.

He was also conflicted knowing that the captain was too feeling a similar ache, and that although he did wish the captain to be happy (something he chose to skim over, never truly admitting to himself) he knew that if the captain did manage to form a romantic relationship with this man he didn't know what consequences it would have for the curious ache.

Spock frowned and leant closer to his station as though examining a read out, so much was unknown that he was unable to make a logical conclusion, he needed more data.

At lunch Spock sat alone, ignoring that both the captain and doctor McCoy had chosen to eat elsewhere. Spock took a mouthful of his salad chewing slowly, trying to quell the disappointment rising in his chest.

Although he'd never admit it, he did enjoy eating with the captain and doctor listening to their banter and watching how openly they shared their emotions with each other. Suddenly Spock was hit with a thought that made the ache sting sharply.

It was logical that the man the captain wished to be joined in a romantic relationship with was in fact doctor McCoy. They had been friends for years, and although they fought they always found ways to show how much they cared for each other, the doctor showing concern when the captain was injured and the captain always listened to the doctor, letting him rant and cheering him up when the doctor admitted to missing his child.

Spock looked down at his salad his enthusiasm dimming, hunger replaced by the sharp pain as he pondered the captains predicament. If the captain was indeed his th'y'la then he must endeavour to make him happy regardless of his own feelings but there was little Spock could do without more data.

Suddenly a familiar hand reached out and touched his clothed shoulder

"Spock?"

Spock looked up eyes meeting Nyotas'

"Nyota"

"Are you alright?"

Spocks mouth twitched and he remained silent "I am well"

Nyota raised an eyebrow "I don't believe you, where are the captain and McCoy?"

"I am not aware of the captain's position"

Nyota started at him for a moment "Spock what's going on?"

Spock tilted his head at his ex girlfriend remunerating for moment before deciding to be honest "I am experiencing some strange phenomena"

Nyota sighed "What phenomena?"

Spock frowned, "The captain confided in me a secret, and I wish to help him with his predicament but I am conflicted"

"Conflicted? He didn't tell you something illegal did he" Nyotas face twisted in anger

"No he did not; it was a more personal matter"

Nyota leant in glancing around them "Who did he sleep with that shouldn't have"

Spock frowned "He did not confess to me that he had coitus with anyone "

Nyota sighed "Well why are you conflicted then?"

Spock stared at her for a moment "I am correct that this will remain a secret between us"

"Yes Spock, I promise"

Spock considered his ex for a moment knowing that she was his closest friend, and that friendship required trust "I believe the captain is… th'y'la"

Spock blushed a pale green and averted his eyes.

Nyota spluttered

"What!" she whispered hoarsely and Spock stood

"I wish to continue this conversation elsewhere Nyota"

The woman stared up at him for a moment but relented following him out of the mess hall and through the corridors until they appeared at a secluded viewing galley.

Spock turned as the door closed and stared down at Nyota not hiding the pain he felt.

"Oh _Spock_"

Nyota stared back at him for a moment before reaching out and placing a hand on his clothed shoulder, pulling him closer to her for a hug. Spock frowned but allowed the contact, knowing that this action had comforted him in the past and that it was also comforting to Nyota.

"Spock are you being serious, you're… you're in love with Kirk?" She gazed up at him, eyes searching his face.

Spock tilted his head frowning "Affirmative"

They both stood in silence for a moment until Nyota turned and bit her thumb staring out of the large windows "So Jim must've told you he likes somebody then?"

Spock dropped his head to his chest but turned and stood next to her, staring out hands clenched at his side "I cannot say, it was a secret"

"Why don't you ask McCoy? He'd know if anybody did"

Spock continued to stare out "That would be unwise"

Uhura turned to face him "Why?"

"I cannot say"

Her mouth dropped open and she stared openly at the Vulcan "Did he say he likes McCoy!?"

"Negative, he did not mention a name"

Uhura narrowed her eyes "But you think it's McCoy?"

Spock dipped his head and Uhura gasped "No, you must be wrong"

"I cannot make a definitive conclusion "

Nyota frowned biting her lip "You need to ask him"

Spock raised an eyebrow "Are you telling me to ask the captain whether or not he has romantic feelings towards doctor McCoy?"

"Yep"

Uhura smiled at Spock hand clasping his bicep "Listen, I know it's hard but you want him to be happy don't you"

Spock blushed again "Affirmative"

"So you need to be sure that McCoy is the one he wants before you do anything to help right?"

"Correct"

Uhura was silent for a long moment (11.23 seconds) "I… am happy you've found someone to care about Spock"

Spock looked down "I care for you Nyota"

She smiled wryly "Not in the same way, we were always friends Spock I was never th'y'la"

Spock looked into her eyes knowing it was true "I am sorry Nyota"

"Don't you apologise, just… look after yourself Spock"

"Affirmative"

Nyota stood hand stroking his bicep, eyebrows furrowed a little with worry before she released him.

"We should return to the bridge "

Nyota sighed nodding and turned to leave Spock hot on her heels.

Together the Vulcan and his friend walked back to the deck, sharing customary greetings with Sulu, and Ensign Chekov as they resumed their places at their stations. Uhura sending sympathetic glances when the captain arrived followed closely by McCoy.

Spock tensed waiting for the captain to be seated before he brought the PADD with his latest readings on it to the stressed man. As Spock approached McCoy and Kirk shared a meaningful glance and Spocks sensitive hearing picked up the doctors leaving quote

"Fine don't tell me what's wrong. I'm just your oldest friend"

The venom with which he spat out this sentence made Spocks eyebrow twitch and the captain glared at McCoy

"Don't you have patients?"

McCoy glared back at him spinning his heels and stamping off the deck muttering under his breath.

"What's that?"

The captain wasn't looking at Spock, but at a spot just above his left shoulder,

"The latest readings captain"

Spock handed the PADD over, frowning at the obvious anger on Jims face "Are you well captain?"

"I'm fine" the captain snapped and Spock almost flinched.

"Very well" Spock paused, before turning and resuming his position at his station, his back turned before he could see the pained longing glance the captain shot at his back.

Spock frowned when the Beta shift replacement approached him, time had again seemed to change, his shift seemingly finished before he'd had a chance to focus entirely on his work.

Nodding at the stocky man Spock relinquished the station and headed for the turbolift, raising an eyebrow when he found himself alone with Uhura.

She looked at him and he returned the gaze "Are you going to ask him?"

Spock turn back to face the wall "I will endeavour to discover the identity of the object of the captain's affections"

"Good, see you tomorrow Spock"

Spock nodded and she left turning down the opposite corridor, leaving Spock to walk alone to his quarters, past the captains' door. Spock felt a tug in his abdomen as he strode past, making him pause considering his options .It would be wise to meditate before attempting to engage the captain, but he may be difficult to find if the captain left his quarters whilst Spock was in the midst of his ritual.

Spock frowned at the captains door, anger rising in him at the frustration and strange emotions the captain caused in him. He was unpredictable, a nuisance and although loyal to the crew and his friends the captain was defiant against authority.

Spock frowned anger dissipating, replaced by a strong emotion he didn't recognise, the captain was unlike Nyota, unlike anybody else Spock had known he was the illogical choice for th'y'la and yet Spock couldn't quell the feeling that it was these traits that made him so.

The door suddenly beeped as it began to slide open and Spock panicked turning away quickly and striding towards the nearest corridor exit.

"Spock?"

Spock cursed in his head and spun quickly on his heels, the captains face clearly registering shock.

"Spock are you alright?" the captain walked forward two steps, close enough for the vulcans sensitive ears to pick up his heart beat, he frowned feeling the urge to reply much as the captain had on the bridge.

"I am not well captain; I was on my way to see doctor McCoy"

He knew he needed an excuse to be lingering outside and had used the captains' words to conclude a believable scenario.

Kirk raised his eyebrows hand twitching as though he was reaching out for Spock but thought better of it face flushed, eyes flickering with surprise and concern.

"Oh, well I will walk with you I was going to see Bones anyway"

Spock paused his bluff had been called, but at least this eventuality meant he could observe their contact for any signs of romantic intentions. Spock nodded his head turning away from the captain, suddenly intensely aware of the sound of the captain's heart beat, his presence so close by.

Spock frowned as they walked in silence the urge to grab Kirk to hold him tight to feel his mind was so strong, from the brief moments he'd had in contact with the soft supple skin of his captain he was already addicted and it scared him, the knowledge that if he lost control he could so easily crush Kirk, destroy him with the want building in his chest.

Spock let out a quiet breath of frustration as they approached the doors, knowing that his current state of panic his raised heart rate and flushed skin could be construed as illness, and he was thankful.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Well this took alot longer than i anticipated , mostly due to the old excuses of college etc. Thank you to all my alerters, reviewees and favouriters you honestly make my day.

The doors to the sickbay slid open with a hiss and Spock crossed the threshold glancing around to locate McCoy.

"Bones?"

Kirk strode forward, spotting the CMO and grinning widely, Spock followed him closely watching their interaction closely

"Jim, what brings you here?"

"What? Can't a guy come visit his best friend without an ulterior motive?"

McCoy raised an eyebrow "I guess not, why did you bring the hobgoblin?"

He turned and stared at Spock who maintained the eye contact until he heard the captain splutter "I... I didn't, he was already coming here"

McCoy laughed "You find this amusing?" Spock finally spoke, curiosity getting the better of him.

McCoy glanced at Spock and they both looked across at the captain who had gone suddenly silent his face bright red.

"Well yeah I do"

McCoy raised an eyebrow giving a pointed glance to his friend that Spock did not understand but seemed to make Kirk blush even more

"_Anyway_ I've gotta go"

Kirk turned quickly on his heel and began to almost run from the room, stopped by McCoys mocking tone "Why did you come to see me again?"

Kirk paused turning his head slightly "It doesn't matter now… I'll see you later. Uh get well soon Spock"

The captain glanced at his first officer and back to his friend before finally escaping the sickbay. McCoy let out a loud guffaw and turned to Spock, wiping tears from his eyes

"Oh Spock, what's the problem then?" the doctor continued to chuckle eyes scanning the taller man, whose eyebrows were furrowed slightly in confusion.

Spock was truly baffled by the exchange between the doctor and the captain, although now he was somewhat less inclined to believe that they shared romantic feelings however he could not be sure until he asked. Spock schooled his features tilting his head at the doctor

"I am experiencing some strange symptoms doctor"

McCoy raised an eyebrow crossing his arms "Oh yeah? Mind filling me in then?"

Spock glanced around the crowded room; it would be unwise to continue their conversation where the doctor would feel exposed.

"Do you have private examination areas doctor?"

McCoys eyebrows flew to his hairline "Uh yeah, over there?" he gestured to two doors, leading Spock into the closest one.

Spock perched on the biobed in the centre of the room and stared back at doctor McCoy, waiting. McCoy crossed his arms "So? What is it?"

Spock straightened his back and schooled his mind "What is your relationship to the captain?"

Mccoys mouth dropped open in what Spock recognised as shock "Spock, you know that Jim and I are friends"

The doctor frowned at him, eyes squinted searching Spocks features for something.

"I see"

"Why?"

Spock pressed his lips together "I was merely endeavouring to understand your emotions to the captain"

Spock watched McCoy carefully, "What emotions? What are you suggesting!?"

The doctor put his hands on his hips, a confused posture that made Spock uneasy "I do not fully understand human romantic relationships and I-"

"Woah woah, hang **on.** Romantic?? Me and Jim? No no no no Spock, you have it _all_ wrong"

Spock almost smiled at the relief flooding his stomach "That is not the nature of your relationship?"

"No! Jim is like…like a brother to me Spock. Purely platonic"

Spock tilted his head "I see, and the captains feelings are too... platonic?"

"Yes, I mean damn of course they are"

Spock grasped the edge of the biobed and moved to stand

"Wait… why did you come here? Just to see if I'm dating Jim? "

Spock paused considering something that had been awash in the back of his mind. Perhaps this was a imagining of emotions he did not understand; perhaps there was an outside source for these symptoms.

"Why would you care Spock?" The doctors' tone was suspicious and Spock looked up

"I have been experiencing some strange symptoms"

McCoy crossed his arms again "Oh yeah, and you're not just deflecting away from the real reason you came here. To dig up info on Jim"

Spocks eyes hardened and he sat up a little straighter "I assure you there is no ulterior motive to my visit doctor"

McCoy sighed "Fine, if you're just going to lie to me anyway. What's the problem Spock?"

Spock looked down, his eyes trained on the dark blue floor "I have been experiencing an increased heart rate, breathing difficulties and frequent lapses of time"

"Lapses of time?"

"Yes, time appears to speed up or slow down"

McCoy frowned at him for a moment before turning away "I'll be right back"

Spock took the time for the doctor to be away to steady himself, knowing that if these symptoms were not of outside origin then his true feelings for the captain may be discovered by the doctor. Spock concluded the doctor was able to hold the human contract of a secret and cleared his mind.

McCoy entered again his expression serious as he scanned Spock carefully, glancing up to the screens as he did so. "Scans say you're in perfect health Spock"

Spock sighed and sat up "I understand doctor"

McCoy looked at him suspicion firmly back in place "When do you get these symptoms?"

Spock had been about to leave, one foot just outside the door, when he turned and stared back at the doctor

"Because there is _one_ thing that can make your heart rate pick up, make you unable to breathe... make you distracted"

Spock clasped his hands behind his back and stared at the doctor who was talking in a low teasing voice, eyebrow quirked in suspicion, hints of mirth on his lips. Spock remained silent

"You have a _crush_ on someone"

The doctor peered up at the science officer, laughing triumphantly when Spocks mouth dropped open in shock, a mere split second before his usual stoic expression was recovered.

"Oh god, _really?_ You've lost your tiny little black Vulcan heart to someone? Who is it?"

The doctor leant forward, eyes manic with glee. He was enjoying Spocks discomfort.

"Vulcans do not get crushes doctor"

"Haha but you're not fully Vulcan are you"

Spock tilted his head "That is true"

McCoy lifted his head, hand on his chin "Who is it Spock?"

Spocks eyebrow twitched and he shifted uncomfortably "_Jim_"

The word sounded odd, echoing around the silent room as realisation dawned on McCoys face and Spock continued to stare down at the floor.

"Jim…as in _captain Jim_, Jim Kirk, your commanding officer Jim, James bloody Tiberius Kirk!?"

"I would ask that you lower your voice doctor, I do not wish this to become common knowledge"

Spock made eye contact, resolute that although holding many other undesirable traits the doctor would not betray his confidence

"Lower my bloody voice? You almost gave me a heart attack, lower your voice he says"

McCoy began muttering to himself hand on his own cheek eyebrows furrowed.

"Is that why you came here? Because you thought I was going out with Jim? What were you going to do, fight me for him?"

Spock just gave him a withering glare about to retort when Kirks voice filtered into the room

"Bones, Spock you are both needed on the bridge. We are approaching Narrcisum and I need you for the briefing"

Spock spoke clearly "Affirmative captain, we are on our way"

There was a light grumble from the speaker and Kirk replied "Bones is Spock cleared for duty?" There was a hint of worry in his voice that made Spock feel irrationally warm.

McCoy rolled his eyes "He is fine. Stop fussing"

Kirk spluttered on the line "I was merely wondering if he were cleared to come on the mission, as my first officer-"

"Yeah yeah, we are on our way. Save your excuses till I can mock you in person"

McCoy strode past Spock laughing as Kirk spluttered through the speaker again. Spock followed the doctor, hot on his heels

"You should not have spoken to the captain like that"

McCoy raised an eyebrow "And why not?"

"It was disrespectful"

Mccoy just laughed again ignoring the stern look Spock was giving him.

Kirk greeted them on the bridge, professional bravado back in place "Alright, so Bones, Spock and I will beam down to Narcissum and attempt to ensure there alliance to Starfleet will go ahead as planned. I know this isn't the most exciting mission but it is unfortunately necessary. The landing party should remain on the planet for 48 hours, after which Mr. Scotty will beam us back up and we can go back to exploring new worlds and generally being awesome"

He beamed brightly at the ridge crew who returned his enthusiasm with gusto. Everyone knew Kirks dislike of diplomatic missions, but as the enterprise was renowned through out the galaxy it was important that they were seen to be an essential part of Starfleet in all things. Even boring dinners.

Spock lifted his head as they beamed down; eyes trained on the back of Kirks head. The captain was smiling brightly at a approaching figure, tall with long hair swept to the side and sparkling deep brown eyes the figure appeared human, except for the strange luminescent glow on his skin and the large feathery wings planted firmly on his back.

He was dressed in a pale gold robe, the fabric reflecting his light giving him a ethereal appearance. Kirk bowed politely and Spock smiled internally knowing the captain had at least attempted to read the cultural reports.

This time.

"My name is D'thon and how may I greet you "

"My name is Jim Kirk"

The man bowed again and turned leading them down a stone pathway, the pebbles bright blue and cubed.

Kirk raised an eyebrow at McCoy but followed the man, Spock closely at his side, close enough to hear Kirks gasp as they entered a great hall, large wooden beams supported a heavily detailed painted ceiling and cool stone floors supporting many chairs, sofas and benches of differing styles and shapes. The air thick with a pungent perfume that seemed to be emanating from a large fire at the head of the room, pale blue logs flickering with purple flame.

Kirk smiled warmly at the people of Narcissum who were sat all around them, eyes boring into the CMO science officer and captain. From within the throng a man approached, his wings had small golden disks inlaid amongst the fathers and a single white dot on his forehead.

"Greetings"

The entire room went silent when he spoke, deep baritone echoing around the cosy walls. Kirk turned to him and bowed

"Greetings, my name is Kirk"

He smiled at the man before gesturing to McCoy

"This is McCoy my chief medical officer"

And then to Spock "And this is Spock, he is my first"

A flurry of gasps filled the air and Kirk glanced around, obviously confused. Spock gaped at him, his chest filling with a flurry of emotions he could barely control, confusion, hope and shock.

McCoy choked glancing between the Vulcan and Jim, shaking his head when he saw the shock on the first officers face.

The man spoke again, silencing the whispers "My name is G'harrl and this is my first J'lik" He gestured to a woman approaching him who smiled weakly and bowed to the party.

They all bowed in turn and Kirk licked his lips "_Oh_" His tone was hoarse, strained and he glanced at the taller man, eyes pained.

Spock sighed internally, the captain did not realise the implication of his words.

"Is it usual for a male of your species to choose a male of" G'harrl gestured towards Spock his eyes questioning.

"I am part Vulcan part human teacher"

Spock used the correct term acknowledging the teachers difficulty in assessing his species.

"I see, is it usual Spock?"

The teacher was now talking to Spock, leaving Kirk to glare at McCoy who was barely hiding a grin.

"No I do not believe it is" Spock spoke with dignity, not betraying the warring emotions in his chest.

The teacher hummed nodding "Well here on Narcissum we accept those of all cultures and beliefs, I see no reason to judge you on this"

Kirk opened his mouth to protest but Spock silenced him by stepping a little closer and whispering delicately in his ear "It would not be wise to argue captain"

The Vulcan relished in the sweet musky smell the captain was exhuming for a second before stepping back and bowing again.

"Alright, then D'thon will show you to your lodgings so you can prepare for the feast"

The teacher grasped his first lightly by the shoulder and together they walked back into the crowd, seating themselves on the largest sofa.

D'thon grinned at them and gestured for the party to follow him into a colder more open anteroom.

"Please wait here whilst I prepare your lodgings" he bowed again and exited quickly through a cloth covered archway.

McCoy instantly rounded on Jim "What the _hell_ were you thinking?"

"I didn't know! I'm sorry its not common knowledge that _first_ means **'wife' **here!"

They were mirroring each other, hands on hips eyebrows furrowed voices whispered but harsh as though they were straining not to shout. McCoy crossed his arms hand rubbing his temples

"Well we just have to tell them you're not married after all"

Spock took a deep breath "That would be unadvisable doctor" McCoy looked up at him suspicious "The people of Narcissum take lying very seriously, here it is punishable by death"

"But we weren't lying, it was a mistake" Spock flinched hoping neither of the two men noticed

"They may perceive it as lying captain. We cannot take that risk. The people of Narcissum's alliance with Starfleet is of the upmost importance"

Kirk groaned pulling at his hair "_Damn_. Damn damn damn"

"Well it looks like you have no choice here Jim"

Kirk stared desperately at McCoy who just grinned back, clearly enjoying the captains' pain. Spocks hands clenched but he refocused his mind, quickly blocking his thoughts on this new event for later and his meditation.

"Are you okay with this Spock? Because I can risk it if it makes you uncomfortable or anything"

Jim wouldn't look at him directly and his voice betrayed his distaste at having to ask.

"I would not be opposed to this plan Jim"

That made the captain make eye contact, his frown suddenly lifting and a slight smile flitting across his face

"Alright then"


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Right, I thought to make up for my late chapters recently I give you this behemoth. Thanks again to all my reviewers, alerters and favouriters its like crack to me. Honest._

D'thon returned, quietly grinning up at the landing party, eyes flickering between the captain and Spock who stood close to each other instinctively and he raised an eyebrow.

"If you would like to follow me"

Turning D'thon lead them through the archway and into a long thin corridor, cool marble walls and stone floors shining with soft golden light from bright orbs floating across the wooden ceiling. The air was thick with the pungent smell from the great hall, and a similar fire burnt in pits all along the corridor.

McCoys room was first, a large wooden door opening to reveal a cosy room with a single bed covered in thick white blankets and pillows and small desk, hand carved from the wooden walls of the room. Yet another small fire burnt in the corner, and McCoy let out a low whistle. He bowed to the young man turning to face the party.

"This is nice, thank you D'thon" glancing around he waggled his eyebrows at Jim "I'll see you two later then".

Jim glared at him "Yeah, see you Bones".

D'thon frowned at Jim, hands dropping from their respectable clasped position and clenching.

"_Excuse_ me, but I was lead to believe that this doctors name was McCoy?"

His voice was low and dangerous and he shuffled his wings. Spock stepped forward "Bones is a terran term for friend. A term of endearment"

Jim nodded, his face crimson "Ye-yeah, it means friend"

D'thon's friendly attitude suddenly reappeared and he grinned "Oh I see, my apologies captain"

Jim smiled, wiping his hand across his forehead when the young man turned to lead them further down the corridor, a low whisper to Spock as they began to walk.

"Thanks Spock"

Spock just tilted his head in acknowledgement. McCoys mocking tone followed them out of the room.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do Jim"

Kirk blushed and Spock glanced sideways, affection stirring in his gut at this very human reaction. He quickly schooled his expression, yet again blocking his thoughts for mediation later.

D'thon lead them to another carved wooden door, his eyebrows quirking as he swept it open to reveal a larger more fastidiously carved room than McCoys, the delicately painted ceiling depicting dancers swirling across golden clouds, large hearth flickering with familiar warm fire and a enormous double bed, thick white sheets carefully inlaid with golden threads so they sparkled softly in the warm glow of the lights.

Kirk gasped openly "Wow, this is...beautiful "

He walked forward a step his eyes taking in every detail of the elegant room.

"Thank you D'thon"

"This is to your liking?"

"I'll say… I mean...yeah it's great"

D'thon beamed at Jim, his eyes suddenly boring into Spock "And you commander Spock?"

Spock allowed some warmth to seep into his eyes at the obvious pride D'thon had in the rooms

"I find these lodging to be more than adequate"

The Vulcan bowed slightly and D'thon beamed up at him "I will return in one of your hours to escort you to the feast"

"Thank you" Kirk smiled at the young man who bowed and left quickly closing the heavy wooden door behind him.

Almost as soon as the door closed with a soft thump Kirk yelled and ran toward the bed, jumping onto it with glee and bouncing happily on the springy mattress.

"Haha this is amazing Spock! Come try it!"

Spock resisted the urge to glare at the captain "Captain _please_, we must discuss our predicament"

Kirk sighed giggling a little "Fine fine party pooper"

Spock frowned from his position at the door "Captain I am not aware there is currently any festivities taking place and I-"

Kirk rolled his eyes sitting up "Spock, it's just a terran term for somebody that ruins someone's fun"

Spock just stared "I apologise for obstructing your enjoyment captain but we have limited time to converse and as you clearly did not read the cultural report then I must inform you of correct procedure"

Kirk grinned licking his lips "Fine, talk away"

Twenty minutes later and Spock had filled the captain in on all the important local traditions and they fell into an awkward silence.

"So...Spock"

Spock paused forcing his emotions back "Captain, I have had an idea regarding the need for you to appear to be in a romantic relationship with me"

Kirk blushed a little "Oh yeah?"

"Yes, as you remember captain you informed me that you have romantic feelings for a man and that they are particularly strong"

Spocks stomach felt empty, he knew this would be his only chance to experience the captain loving him and that it would be a lie.

"Wait _what_? I never said it was a guy"

Kirk stood hands on hips fear evident in his eyes Spock frowned slightly.

"You referred to the one you love using male adjectives"

Kirk blushed "Did I?"

"Affirmative"

Kirk turned away quickly "_Fuck_"

Spock raised both eyebrows "As I was saying captain, it may be helpful to use the emotions you feel for this man and express them to me as you would if I were he"

Kirk turned back around uncertain "You want me to pretend you're…him?"

"If it would aid you then yes. The integrity of this mission must be upheld at all costs"

Kirk sighed pain flickering in his eyes for a moment before he closed them "Right… what about you?"

"The teacher is aware of Vulcan culture, and as so less pressure will be applied to me to appear…affectionate. However I do believe I can alter my behaviour to suggest some degree of intimacy if the situation arises"

"And you're okay with that" Kirk was looking at him his face strangely blank for one so emotional. Spock looked away.

"Affirmative"

Kirk sighed "Right…"

Spock glanced around spotting two neatly folded pile of clothing "Captain I do believe now would be a acceptable time to dress in the clothes we have been gifted"

Kirk looked up his eyes wide and empty "Huh?"

Spock gestured to the two piles eyebrow twitching.

"We have to wear those?" Kirk looked disgusted at the piles

"I do believe it is imperative that-"

"Yeah yeah Spock. Um...how are we going to…?" Kirks question petered off and he blushed deeply eyes averted.

Spock tilted his head "Going to what captain"

Kirk rolled his eyes "I don't want you watching me change"

Spock ignored the shock of the realisation that he would have to disrobe in front of the captain, and that the captain would disrobe in front of him. Many other emotions followed quickly but Spock suppressed them before they could take hold.

"We shall change facing away from each other"

Kirk sighed "Fine"

Spock stripped quickly, fighting the urge to turn and glimpse the captain. He was struggling with tying the swath of fabric that ran across his bare chest to the knot at his hip when familiar hands reached out and grabbed the strip of fabric.

"For a pretty intelligent guy you can be dim sometimes" Kirk was blushing but seemed intent on tying the fabric for Spock.

The Vulcan's bare chest flushed lightly with green and Kirk glanced up, an emotion Spock couldn't place lingering in his eyes. Gently Kirk tied the robes his fingertips brushing over Spocks hip and the Vulcan's muscle tensed instinctively at the touch. He felt strange his entire mind focussing on those three points on his flesh where Kirks cool fingers had ghosted against his hot skin.

"_There_" Kirks whispered softly staring at Spock before blushing deeply and turning away quickly. Spock took a deep breath trying to tear his eyes away from the bare back of Kirk. The robes were more revealing than Spock had anticipated, a thin strip of fabric gracing one shoulder crossing the chest and tying at the hip to a knee length skirt.

Jim turned again his face blank eye purposely staring up at Spocks face,

"Right, so it's the feast and then what?"

Spock shifted uncomfortable and Kirks eyes dropped for a second to his chest "Then a dance"

Kirk gaped at him "You mean they will do a dance for us?" his voice was hopeful and Spock resisted the urge to frown. The idea of dancing with Spock was distasteful to the captain.

"No"

Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door. Spock turned quickly and answered it, looking impassively between doctor McCoy and D'thon swallowing a chuckle when he saw the obvious discomfort the doctor was feeling.

"Don't you say a word" McCoy glared up at Spock who raised his eyebrows in amusement, as Kirk burst into laughter behind him

"Oh bones, you look…_magnificent_"

Kirk doubled over again and D'thon joined in his laughter tinkling like miniature bells. Bones glared at his friend and turned away.

"Let's just go eat" he moved his hands in a shooing motion before stamping away down the corridor.

Kirk was still giggling when they reached the long thin dining hall, a large wooden table having with plates of strange meat, piles of odd fruit and pitchers of a clear liquid that smelt strongly of bitter lemons. Quietly they sat amongst the already seated people of Narcissum, McCoy to left of Spock and Kirk to his right closest to the teacher, his first and what Spock deducted was their daughter.

The feast started and Kirk regaled the teacher with stories of the enterprise and her adventures, his eyes lighting up excitement and pride, hands gesturing wildly.

Spock suppressed a smile almost jumping when a familiar voice whispered in his ear "I know you're supposed to be married but you should probably stop staring at him like he is a piece of meat"

Spock turned his head and glared at the doctor "You are well aware I do not eat meat doctor"

McCoy chuckled watching Spocks eyes roam over his chest. Bones frowned arms folding defensively.

"Spock? What are you doing?"

Spock looked up at him raising an eyebrow "I was endeavouring to discover if my emotions pertaining to this style of dress are universal"

McCoys frowned "You were checking me out? "

Spock almost rolled his eyes but nodded. McCoy choked coughing to clear his throat "_What?_ I thought you were dippy over you-know" he nodded towards Jims turned head his voice barely audible.

Spocks eyes hardened "You did not let me finish doctor. My findings are that although your visage is visually pleasurable, it is not stimulating in any sense. Therefore I can conclude my emotions are not universal" He glanced sideways for a second before whispering back to the doctor "And I would ask you have more faith in my convictions concerning my feelings for Jim"

Spock stared down at the doctor who shook his head "Uh thanks I guess… I'm sorry; I didn't mean anything by it"

Spock nodded and turned back to face the captain who was now smiling at the daughter of the teacher, who was infuriatingly shyly smiling back. Spock felt a cold shiver run through him and he allowed the jealously flood his stomach for a moment.

"Maybe you should control your first Spock" McCoy whispered eyes purposely glancing between the captain, the young woman and the teacher who was now staring at the exchange with interest.

Spock sat up a little straighter and placed his hand on Kirks bare shoulder. The captain flushed and turned his head quickly to look at him "Yes Spock?"

"May I speak to you alone t'hy'la?"

McCoy began to choke again and Kirk stared at him "Are you okay Bones?" Bones raised a thumb still chocking and glancing between the captain and Spock.

Kirk noticed Spocks hand was still on his shoulder and barely suppressed a shiver at the heat radiating from the Vulcan's palm.

"Of course"

He turned back to the teacher "Excuse me for a moment teacher"

The man bowed his head and together Spock and Kirk stood and walked away from the feast, into a small ante chamber.

Kirk looked up at Spock arms wrapping around himself as he shivered in the cold stone room. Spock clasped his hands behind his back resisting the urge to hold him, to take away the cold

"Captain you must refrain from 'flirting', as lieutenant Uhura would call it, with the females of this planet"

Kirk blinked at him "_What_?"

"Captain I do believe the teacher is becoming suspicious"

"I wasn't flirting! I was just being nice"

Spock frowned "Are you unaware of the effect you were having on the young female?"

"What are you talking about!?"

"Captain, you may be unaware but when you smile in that manner few are able to resist you and inevitably seek to engage you" Spock sighed inwardly, it was an illogical wish for Jim to smile like that at him, just once.

Kirk just stared up at him, mouth open in shock.

"And as your perceived first I would be forced to intercept which may hinder proceedings"

Kirk blushed "Wait. Are you telling me that if someone came onto me you would… what exactly?"

The captains eyes were squinted and his face unreadable. Spock resisted the urge to lick his lips "I would be forced to display my claim over you"

Kirk gaped at him "And how would you do that"

Spock looked down at him and relented licking his lips, his mind flooding with images of how he would claim Kirk "I would not know until it happened captain"

Kirk choked coughing hoarsely his pupils wide "_Oh_"

Spock suddenly turned as he was unable to hide the lust evident in his eyes. "We should return to the feast"

Kirk remained silent for a moment "What was that word? What did you call me?" his voice was barely a whisper and Spock turned back, eyes wide.

"What word are you referring to captain?"

Kirk frowned "T'hy'la"

Spock only just managed to suppress the flare of fear in his gut. He had not meant to speak that word out loud.

"It is a Vulcan term of endearment"

Kirk crossed his arms "What does it mean"

"I was merely attempting to convey intimacy between us to the teacher"

Kirk bit his lip "What does it mean though?"

Spock sighed inwardly "It means friend, brother, lover"

Kirks eyes grew wide and he gasped "Oh" smiling shakily he walked forward, eyes glued to Spocks feet "Do you think it worked?"

Spock frowned "I believe more evidence of some intimacy between us would be needed to repair any misconceptions due to your attentions to the teachers daughter" The Vulcan felt guilt, he was being selfish in wanting more, but the affection Kirk displayed felt so real he couldn't break its spell over him.

Kirk raised an eyebrow before ruffling his own hair and jumping up and down on the spot for a second. Spock watched him curiously "Captain, are you alright?"

Kirk laughed reaching out and running a hand quickly through Spocks hair. The Vulcan almost jumped, affection clearly running through Kirks fingers as they raked his skull. Clearly the captain did feel some affection for his first officer and Spock ignored the hope pooling in his stomach.

"There, now it looks like we only left because you could barely keep you hands off me"

Kirk smiled sadly at the flustered Vulcan. Spock just stared back, trying to regain his composure. Kirk blushed a little biting his thumb and strode purposely back toward the feast, Spock following closely behind.

McCoy eyed them suspiciously as they returned and Kirk waggled his eyebrows at him making the doctor begin another coughing fit.

An hour later and the feast was over, the party being lead towards a larger room through a handsomely carved archway. The walked in silence glancing around at the enormous room, the impossibly high ceiling also painted with images of dancing figures and strange creatures a shining stone floor crowded with dancing couples.

A band at the head of the room played many unrecognisable instruments, light fluttering melody slowing as it morphed into classical style music. Spock watched them with interest until suddenly he felt a hand land on his chest and a flurry of emotions too tangled to read properly.

Kirk was flushing furiously but staring up at him determined "Spock, I think we are supposed to dance?"

Looking down at his captain Spock paused, something akin to nervousness flooding his chest. He broke the eye contact studying the couple dancing next to them.

"Spock? It's alright if you don't want to?" Kirk sounded frightened, nervous and Spock tensed.

"No"

The captain removed his hand, trying to hide his disappointment. Spock instinctively reached out and grasped his bare wrist, careful to block his own thoughts and emotions from entering Kirks mind.

"No I was merely studying the correct posture and movements of the dance Jim"

The captain blushed but turned back standing awkwardly in front of his first officer. Spock took a step forward "Would you prefer the male or female posture Jim?"

Jim bit his lip "Um… why don't you lead? You're probably a much better dancer than me"

Spock nodded and carefully placed the captains' hands, one on Spocks hip the other on his chest. Spock then assumed the male position one hand on Kirks bare shoulder and the other on the smooth skin of his side. Checking once more that his blocks were in place he began to copy the movement of the couple next to him, the steps elegant but requiring complicated footing.

The Vulcan looked down gazing into Kirks azure eyes "Captain you are more proficient than you implied"

Kirk blushed fingers tensing on Spocks chest, making the Vulcan gasp inwardly.

"Thanks, but its really all you, I'm just following"

"You do not give yourself enough credit Jim" Spock realised he had lowered his voice and was horrified to notice he too was blushing. Together they spun across the dance floor, many couples now breaking apart and turning to watch the two men as they flowed effortlessly in time and perfectly matched.

Both men were enjoying themselves and Spock realised with anguish that he had allowed his mental block to slide.

Kirk looked up at him whispering "Spock? Why do I feel so warm?"

Spock flinched knowing that revealing that what Jim was feeling was Spocks love may make him end their dance and although he hated admitting it he enjoyed and relished the permitted contact.

"Vulcans have a naturally higher body temperature than humans, and dancing does involve exertion which can contribute to the raising of body temperature"

Kirk sighed "It feels so nice" his voice barely audible, clearly forgetting Spock had much stronger hearing then normal humans.

He let out a disappointed sigh as the music ended and they were forced to break contact. Both men bowed to each other and then the crowd who applauded politely. Spock turned and walked back toward the teacher and doctor McCoy, ignoring the simultaneous relief and bitter pang of loss that stung his gut when he was forced to release the captain.

Touching Kirk was addictive and he pined for another excuse to touch him, to feel his mind although he knew he could never allow himself the luxury and Spock silently thanked his Vulcan ability to control himself during the dance, and that he had resisted temptation to taste Kirks mind.

Bowing politely he excused himself "I must go and meditate Teacher, Thank you for a wonderful evening." Spock turned to Jim who was looking at McCoy strangely.

"I will see you later T'hy'la"

Kirk looked up at him blushing "Yeah okay"

Spock paused knowing that he shouldn't but unable to resist raising two fingers towards the captain. Kirks hand shot out instinctively and paused just as they were about to touch, his eyes connecting with Spocks as they pressed their fingertips together so gently that they barely made contact before Spock pulled his hand away. He had already allowed himself too much liberty.

For once the Vulcan found himself unable to speak, and he merely bowed and hurried out of the room, the pressing need to meditate heavy on his mind.

Reaching the solitude of their room Spock knelt and tried to order the thoughts and emotions he had held back during the day. There were so many of them and he felt overwhelmed. Lust, affection, love, confusion and fear flooding his mind all at once.

A loud yell followed by familiar cursing broke him from his meditation and Spock rose quickly to his feet, long legs carrying him quickly out of the door and into McCoys room.

The doctor was on the floor next to a chair that had fallen over and the captain was helping him to his feet. Spock frowned "Doctor your vocal projection interrupted my meditation"

Oddly it was Kirk who began to apologise "Oh I'm so sorry Spock… It's not ruined is it? I didn't mean to, I was just telling Bones about… well about that guy. Remember?"

He was looking desperately pleadingly up at the Vulcan whose anger dissipated immediately "I see, I take it that the doctor was shocked by this revelation"

Both men turned to look at the doctor who was staring back at them shock still written all over his face "Hang on, you told _the hobgoblin_ before you told me?" he looked angry and Spock moved in front of the captain as if to block any attack

"Doctor, I do not believe the captain chose to tell me first out of any sense of favouritism. It was merely by chance that I happened upon him whilst he was experiencing the need to…share" Spock spoke the last word with a hint of distaste.

McCoy just stared "You're both as bad as each other!"

Kirk and Spock looked at each other, both men equally confused.

"I do not understand what you mean by that doctor"

McCoy turned away shaking his head "I'm not allowed to tell you, either of you, so you can sort your own mess out for once"

He slumped onto his bed still shaking his head.

"Go on, get out"

Kirk was just watching his friend, ignoring the order to leave. "What are you talking about Bones?"

The tired man just stared up at his captain "Jim, just go to bed"

Kirks lips twitched but he relented waving a hand goodbye before he backed slowly out of the door, leaving Spock alone with the shorter man.

"Doctor what did the captain tell you to make you evacuate your seat?"

McCoy groaned hands to his face.

"I can' tell you"

"Why not?"

"For the same reason you did not tell me"

Spock frowned confused "I do not understand"

"You know what a secret is Spock"

Spock blinked "I see"

"You gunna get out then?"

The science officer glared at the doctor before turning and striding out of the room. He was confused, and desperate to know the captains secret.

Spock vaguely wondered whether the captain had been informing his friend of the same secret he had shared with Spock. It seemed likely.

Turning the corner he entered their room, ignoring the thrill that ran along his spine at the notion of shared quarters with Jim.

He found the back end of the captain sticking out of the closet, robe skirt barely concealing anything. Spock felt lust stirring in his chest and coughed politely to announce his presence, hoping Kirks attention would aid him in quelling his desires.

"May I inquire as to what you are doing Jim?"

Spock tilted his head and Kirk chuckled "Oh I was just looking for something to wear for bed"

Spock raised an eyebrow "I see"

There was an awkward beat and Spock licked his lips "Captain how are we going to sleep?"

"What do you mean?"

Spock clasped his hands behind his back "I believe there is adequate space here for me to sleep captain and you may retain the bed"

Spock looked up to see confusion and something he couldn't place on Kirks face. "You are **not** sleeping on the floor like you don't deserve to use the bed"

"Captain I must protest, you are my commanding officer and as such would be expected to take the bed"

Kirks jaw locked and he crossed his arms "No, here in this room right now we are equals and as equals we will _share_ the bed" he nodded, uncertainty shining through his confident bravado.

Spock gasped openly and Kirk stared at him uncrossing his arms, hand on hip he rubbed the back of his neck "Look, I know it's weird but I won't sleep knowing you're lying on this floor"

Spocks mouth twitched and he ignored the warmth flooding his stomach at the captains concern.

"Now, get into bed and that's an order"

Kirk blushed at the implication of his words but continued to stare the Vulcan down. Spock tilted his head, eyebrow twitching in amusement before moving slowly over to the bed. He removed his shoes, slipping in between the silken sheets. Closing his eyes he lay still, arms clamped to his side mind furiously blocking any thoughts of what was about to happen.

Kirk hovered on the edge for a moment before slipping in next to Spock, and rolling away so he was facing the opposite wall, as far away as possible.

Spock opened his eyes and glanced at the captains perilous perch on the edge of the bed. Sighing he reached out and placed a warm hand on the smooth skin of Jims shoulder and pulled him over so the captain was staring up at the ceiling. Jim glanced at him before shuffling slightly closer so he wouldn't fall in the night.

Spock quickly removed his hand still facing Jim "Goodnight captain"

Kirk groaned and rolled over staring into Spocks eyes "Spock"

"Yes Jim"

The captain was silent for a long moment "Nothing"

Spock frowned "Ji-"

Kirk reached out a hand and put it over Spocks mouth. The Vulcan gasped at the sudden contact but remained where he was, frozen to the spot.

"_Goodnight_ Spock"

Spock frowned and resisted the urge to kiss his commanding officers palm. Kirk smiled sadly at him before removing his hand and rolling back up to face the ceiling, the vulcan opened his mouth to speak but Kirk raised his finger to his lips.

"Shhh, go to sleep… and _don't_ tell Bones about this"

Spocks' eyebrow twitched in amusement and he too rolled to face the ceiling

"Sleep well Jim"


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Okay, another big one (: I was going to end it here, but god damn if writing this isn't fun as all hell. So I thought I'd indulge some more and keep going.

Spock woke earlier than normal the next morning, his mind whirring into overdrive when he realised he was not alone. Turning slowly over to his side he gazed with abandon at the captains' profile. The shorter man was strewn on his back, one arm raised above his head and mouth hanging open uttering senseless soft sounds as he dreamt. Spock allowed himself a moment to imagine that he woke up to this every morning.

The Vulcan held his breath as his hand seemed to slip of its own volition towards the other man, delicate fingers grazing over the soft fabric covering the captains' chest, feeling the gentle rise and fall of his breathing and the strange alien coolness of his skin seeping through the fabric.

Spock withdrew his hand quickly and slipped from the sheets, dressing in his familiar black trousers and blue sweater the dreamy haze of the morning solidifying and he felt more like his usual logical self. Spock allowed himself one last glance in the sleeping mans direction before leaving closing the door silently behind him.

He found McCoy back in the main hall. The doctor was tending to a small child who had fallen; his knee had a sizable abrasion that the he was bandaging. Spock watched quietly as he spoke gently to the hiccupping child sending him on his way with an uncharacteristic smile.

The vulcan approached "Greetings doctor"

McCoy looked up and raised his eyebrows at Spock "Spock, sleep well?"

Spock tilted his head "I am fully rested, I did not expect you to be awake at this hour"

McCoy snorted bitterly "Couldn't sleep"

Spock raised a eyebrow but chose not to comment. He moved swiftly crossing his legs beneath himself and sinking into a large soft chair opposite McCoy. They were silent for a long moment, both men watching the children play nearby.

"So, you going to tell me about that kiss?"

Spock turned his head sharply eyes hard.

"Pardon doctor, I did not hear you"

"Oh you heard Spock, your vulcan ears would've picked that up"

Spock stared at him for a long moment "I was merely endeavouring to appear as though there were an intimate relationship between me and the captain in front of the teacher"

McCoys face was twisted in a smirk and he crossed his arms "Yeah right, you just needed the excuse"

Spock glared at the smug man "Make no mistake doctor, I do not need to explain my motives to you"

McCoy raised his hands "Alright, whatever… what about the dancing?"

Spock resisted the urge to roll his eyes "The captain would've been expected to dance and I believed it were better that he did not get more of a chance to make an impression on the native females as that may arise suspicion"

Spock sounded bitter and he knew it. "Spock you are so blatantly jealous it's embarrassing"

McCoy had one eyebrow raised his mocking tone grating the vulcan.

"I must go wake the captain "

Spock rose quickly to his feet and as he turned to leave he was halted by the strange protective tone in the doctors' voice "When are you going to stop messing him around"

Spock stopped dead in his tracks, carefully controlling his grim rage as he spun on his heel. Eyes hard glass he spoke in barely concealed anger "I have not and will _never_ intend to cause any harm to the captain, it is for this reason I have concealed my emotions from him until they diminish or I can gain proper control over them so to spare him the trouble of finding another science officer to replace me and the undue stress this would cause him no top of his regular duties" his voice was even and sharp, cutting through the air like a whip.

McCoy stared at him "You actually think he would kick you off the ship?!"

Spock flinched; he had yet again spoken without thinking and had unwittingly told the doctor his darkest fear. "It may come to that doctor"

McCoy guffawed and Spock tilted his head anger dissipating into confusion "Something is humorous about this scenario?"

McCoy giggled again "This whole bloody thing is funny Spock"

The vulcan watched the man shake his head and took his chance to consult "Doctor, do you think the captain is aware of my feelings?"

McCoy was hiccupping and sighed.

"He must be fucking blind but no, I don't think he will let himself believe it"

Spock frowned "It disturbs him to that extent?"

His voice wavered for a second and he began blocking the most painful emotions flooding his chest. McCoy stopped hiccupping and stood shaking his head, one hand outreached "No no that's not what I said "

Spock tilted his head "Please explain doctor"

"I can't Spock, I just… maybe you should go wake him up"

Spock frowned; these people he worked with were so confusing, so full of emotions he didn't understand. Spock resolved to ask Nyota when he was back aboard; she was always able to explain. He clasped his hands behind his back and turned on his heels in silence, simultaneously dreading and anticipating seeing the captain again.

Spock knocked politely waiting for a grunted reply before opening the door. The captain was lying on the bed obviously having fallen back asleep halfway through dressing as he was wearing his regulation black trousers and half a pair of black socks, the rest of his outfit lying around him on the sheets.

Spock tried to tear his eyes away from the toned torso of his commanding officer but found he could not. The soft dappled light from the floating orbs on the ceiling lit the captains golden skin up, every muscle and hair visible as he stretched sitting up, his fluffy hair sticking up and azure eyes half lidded. He yawned rubbing a hand sleepily through his hair and down his face moaning quietly.

Spock realised he was staring and that the captain was staring back curiously, suddenly facing away he spoke quickly knowing his prolonged presence would most likely be uncomfortable for both of them if he could not control his lust.

"I had come to awake you captain, we have three hours until Mr. Scott beams up back aboard. I will wait outside"

Spock all but ran from the room, panting heavily as his back hit the cool wall outside. He mused on the captains' unexpected appearance, trying to ignore the strange desire to name it 'cute' as Nyota had called him so many times when he had awoken late in a similar manner.

She had explained to him that this expression although commonly used to describe small animals and children, could also be used in the context of a romantic relationship as another term for attractive. So he thought the captain was cute, _very_ cute.

His thoughts were interrupted by Kirk touching his arm, Spock suddenly stared at him eyes wide "Captain!"

"Are you alright Spock?"

Spock mentally shook himself and stood up straight "I am well captain. Are you well rested?"

The captain regarded him for a second, suspicion firmly written on his face, hand still agonisingly cool on Spocks bicep, fingers squeezing for just second before he was released and the signature grin was back in place "Yeah, it was strange I don't normally sleep that well"

Kirk suddenly blushed and coughed "I…I mean it must be the beds here…must see about getting some of those sheets myself" he was mumbling and Spock quirked an eyebrow in mirth.

The appeared at the dining hall together, perfectly in step as they hurried across to McCoy who waved at them from the far end of the table, the whispers of what seemed like the entire town of the people of Narcissum followed them like the wind and Kirk whispered in Spocks ear as they hurried past "I don't like the feel of this"

Spock shivered as his lips met the tip of his ear for a just a split second. McCoy was sat with the teacher, his face split in an uncharacteristic and to Spock almost sadistic grin "Jim, Spock you'd never guess what"

Both men shared a glance of confusion before Kirk spoke up "What Bones?"

It was the teacher that answered him "Many of my people heard about your performance at the ball captain, and when I expressed this to your Bones he explained you could dance for us one more time, as a gift to thank for our hospitality"

Kirk blushed and glared at Bones, Spocks gaze even more severe.

Begrudgingly Jim smiled at the teacher.

"Sure"

Spock stared at him and Kirk waggled his eyebrows "Best not to upset them when we have been so good for so long" he whispered his eyes pleading and Spock knew he could not refuse, in fact he relished the idea that he would once again dance with captain.

Spock licked his lips and turned back to Bones who was giving him thumbs up and grinning from behind the teacher and Jims backs. The vulcan tilted his head in confusion and McCoy rolled his eyes mouthing the word 'you're welcome' before grinning and raising an eyebrow.

Spock blinked and ducked his head only slightly, indicating he was grateful. He did not understand the doctors' motives but he knew when to be thankful for good opportunities awarded to him.

The teacher stood, his hands outstretched to the crowd "The captain and his first will dance for us once more "

He beamed down at the captain and Jim grinned back, grasping Spocks arm.

"Uh we will just go get…ready"

Kirk pulled Spock away from the crowd and looked up at him shyly.

"Look, I know you don't want to spend any more time latched on to me than is necessary, but this _is_"

Spock interrupted him "It does not distress me"

Kirk gaped up at him "What?"

"Being 'latched' to you as you say does not distress me captain and I find dancing a surprisingly enjoyable experience"

Jim gripped him by both biceps, "Are you okay?"

Spock stared down confused "I am well captain "

Jim pulled back smiling "_Wow,_ I just … I never thought you'd admit to liking something!"

Spock raised his eyebrow in amusement and gently relieved himself from the captains' grip. "Perhaps we should return"

Kirk sighed and crossed his arms, his smile still in place "Yeah, okay"

Together they returned to the dining hall to find McCoy all alone, whistling quietly to himself. Jim coughed to announce their presence "Bones?"

"Everyone is in the great hall waiting for your performance" he chuckled and Kirk groaned hands over his face.

"God how do I end up in these situations"

The party entered the hall, and all eyes turned on them. The teacher walked over beaming widely and shushing the crowd with a hand movement "Our honoured guests, we look forward to your performance"

Kirk and Spock took a deep breath and together they walked out into the all too big dance floor, the hundreds of eyes boring into their skin. Kirk reached out and gripped Spock around the waist, hands clenching for a second before he moved one up and placed in on the vulcans shoulder. Spock barely suppressed a sigh and he quickly moved his own hands, one on Kirks waist the other on his chest.

The vulcan controlled his breathing surprised at how familiar this felt, how comfortable. The music began and Spock went into autopilot taking Kirk through a few uncomplicated steps, his gaze transfixed on the captains' face and the emotions flickering across it.

Kirk blushed and looked away but Spock couldn't so he just clung to him memorising the feels of his th'y'la's breath on his cheek, the pleasant cool of his skin.

Suddenly the music picked up and Spock responded, his footing getting more complicated.

"You are a accomplished dancer Jim"

Spock was whispering and Kirk made eye contact blushing pleasantly "Thanks, let's give them a show huh?"

Spock frowned confused until Kirk suddenly spun away, one hand clasping Spocks wrist, Kirk grinned at him before rolling his self back towards his partner curling against the vulcans chest. The science officer tried to ignore the warmth flooding the back of his mind when he realised Kirk was avoiding touching Spocks hands out of respect for him, in fact he was avoiding skin to skin contact as much as possible.

The dance moves got more and more complicated and Spock began to breathe heavily, more from the passion in Kirks movements' then physical exertion.

As the song ended Spock dropped Jim to one arm and held him there, their faces mere inches apart, breath mingling.

"_Jim_" his voice was low and throaty and Spock fought to keep his emotions from his face and his th'y'la stared back up eyes wide.

"_Spock_"

His whisper only audible to the vulcans sensitive hearing and the raw emotion contained made Spock shiver.

Suddenly the room exploded in applause and Spock pulled the captain to his feet, both men bowing to the crowd, pointedly ignoring McCoys wolf whistle.

Two weeks later and back aboard a vulcan was distracted.

The captain had been avoiding him, this was fact and for once in his life Spock did not know what to do. He knew he wanted to tell the captain, that he would not be able to keep it a secret forever and it would be better that Jim heard it from Spock. But it seemed that when the shift ended the captain would simply disappear and no amount of searching could uncover him.

Spock knew it was distracting him from his work but his confusion and the strange bitter taste in his mouth when he though about how Jim seemed so distant after Spock had shown so much emotion on Narcissum, when he had been allowed to be one of a select few to see that level of emotion in the vulcans eyes.

It _hurt_ and Spock couldn't reconcile the pain, he had lost the friendship they had nurtured and he was rejected.

Even after consulting Nyota about the events on Narcissum he could not reconcile the captain's behaviour with what she had told him. She had said that it was a strong possibility that the captain returned his feelings and that the secret he had told doctor McCoy was in fact that he had feelings for Spock.

The vulcan shook his head imperceptivity as he stared down at his workstation, the idea that his t'hy'la returned his feelings was too much for him to consider and he was anxious to discover the truth.

It was not until this two week mark that he finally got his chance to ask the doctor what he really knew. It was alpha shift on the bridge and the crew had been expectantly waiting for the captain to arrive for fifteen minutes, the science officer getting more and more anxious at time went on. It was common for the captain to be a minute or two late for his shift as he commonly slept in late but to be late to this extent was unnerving for the bridge crew.

Suddenly the captain's voice filled the silence and the bridge crew instantly relaxed, sharing relieved smiles.

"Kirk to bridge, this is your captain speaking. I am unable to attend alpha shift today as I am needed in a conference with some higher ups at Starfleet. Spock you have the conn"

All eyes turned to the science officer and if he were human he would've blushed. He knew the captain was lying, as first officer he would've been informed of all and any conferences that meant the captain would not turn up for his shift and this worried him.

Surely Jim would've realised this and so Spock resolved to go to the captain's quarters when his shift had ended and to confront him. Spock glanced to Uhura and tilted his head only slightly before striding to the chair and sitting carefully, his eyes trained on the massive window in front of him.

As soon as his replacement arrived Spock was out of the chair and in the turbolift, knowing that if he did not arrive quickly the captain may exit his quarters in an effort to escape. He all but ran down the halls to his destination, hesitating for just a moment before buzzing to be let in.

"Captain?"

But there was no reply, Spock frowned entering a few overriding codes his frown more evident when he realised they would not work. For a brief period he just stood staring at the door, confusion and panic flooding his chest but expelled from his mind.

He had a adjoining bathroom, he may be able to gain access from there. Spock tried not to hurry as he ran through his room and into the shared bathroom, eyes trained on the cool silver door and his own horrifyingly emotive reflection.

"Captain?"

Spock again tried to enter but could not unlock the door.

"Computer, location of captain Kirk"

"Captains quarters"

Spock tilted his head hands clenching "Computer condition of captain Kirk"

"Sleeping, slightly raised temperature"

Spock sighed and turned back to his own room.

It wasn't until 2am that night that Spock finally gave up on sleep, slipping out of his cool sheets and into his regulation black undershirt and trousers. He had seemed to pick up the most human of habits in the past few months, walking to relieve his insomnia.

As he paced the empty halls of the Enterprise he would think through the events of the day, and it worked much like his meditation in relieving his stress allowing the vulcan to sleep.

Tonight however deep in the bowels of the ship he found he was not alone, a faint smattering of footsteps ahead made him slow his own rhythmic pacing and turn the corner with care, eyes regarding the lone figure ahead.

Kirk was stumbling much like he had done that morning, so long ago, when he had fallen and reached out his hands and mind violently connecting with Spocks.

The vulcan licked his lips and followed him in silence, watching the captain wobble two and fro, suddenly collapsing with a grunt. The vulcan cursed himself for not acting sooner and rushed forward, kneeling at his captains side.

"Captain? Jim?"

The smaller man groaned and rolled over, eyes wide and unfocused sweat forming on his brow.

"Spock?"

A hand reached out and dragged sluggishly across the vulcans cheekbones, making him gasp. The mind that brushed his was feverish, jumbled.

"Jim? You are not well!"

The man frowned and slapped Spock lightly, hands falling to his heaving chest.

"Shhh I'm fine, just a bit tired s'all"

Kirk tried to sit up but groaned at the sudden change in altitude and lay down, eyes closed.

"Captain I must take you to sick bay"

"Nooo, don' wana talk to Bones. M'fine"

His voice wavered and Spock's insides seemed to clench with concern. The vulcan frowned.

"Illogical"

He reached out and grasped the captains arms heaving him to his feet in a split second, the shorter man wobbling and groaning at the sudden movement, clinging to his firsts chest, head leant on his collarbone.

Spock just stood there, eyes wide as the captains hands slipped around him and he began to sway, humming.

"I miss this"

Spock placed a hand on the captains back and fought a sigh, _me too_ he thought clutching his t'hy'la tight.

"Captain we must take you to sick bay"

Kirk frowned but gave no reply and Spock used their position to begin to walk him towards the nearest turbolift, catching Jim as he seemed to slip into unconsciousness and carrying him bridal style.

Looking down Spocks eyebrows knitted in confusion and worry, the captain's face was flushed and his skin uncommonly hot, sweat beading at his temple and his beautiful azure eyes red rimmed. He was emitting soft sounds much like he had that morning on Narcissum but this time they failed to instil any warmth in the vulcan, his fear mounting when Kirk groaned and his hand clutched the black fabric on Spocks chest.

The science officer began to run when he reached the correct floor for sickbay, carrying Jim's weight effortlessly as he skidded to a halt just in front of the doors.

As they slid open Spock raised his voice "Doctor?"

McCoys head poked out of his office at the fear evident in Spocks voice and he gaped at the strange image of the vulcan first officer, eyes wide with concern carrying the ships captains in his arms, dressed only in a pair of regulation black boxer shorts and a old t-shirt McCoy had given him for a birthday at the academy.

"Spock? What the hell did you do to him?!"

Spock glared but rushed forward, gently laying the captain on the nearest biobed.

"It was fortunate that I happened upon the captain as he was about to collapse doctor, as it is fortunate that you are awake to tend to him"

Bones stared at him "I'm always awake Spock, but what are you doing up?" he was quickly checking Jims vitals as he spoke, looking for all intents and purposes like he was focussed on the captain.

"I was unable to rest "

Bones looked up fixing the vulcan with a piercing glare "_Why_?"

Spock remained silent eyes transfixed on the captains' unconscious features.

"Maybe if you would stop messing around with Jim you might be able to get some sleep" McCoy grumbled quietly and Spocks eyebrow quirked in surprise

"I know you may find it…distasteful that I hold strong emotion for Jim"

Embarrassingly his voice sounded somewhat wounded. McCoy stared at him eyes wide "Hey I never said _that_"

Spock frowned "Then what do you mean by your comments?"

McCoy glanced down at Jim "Look Spock, Jim told me a secret and I can't break his confidence but I can tell you this. If he is avoiding you don't just take it, hunt him down and make him tell you what's wrong"

Spock tilted his head "I was given to understand that when a human does not wish to talk they are given to avoiding the subject and its common practice to allow this. Would it not be rude to try and force an answer out of him?"

"He may not like it, but he damn well needs it"

The screen above the bio bed beeped and McCoy cursed "Damn it Jim"

"What is he suffering from doctor?" Spock's voice was quiet and he sounded almost caring.

"It's just the flu, but if he had come to me sooner I could've given him something to stop it getting this bad. But he didn't do that did he and he is allergic to the cure!"

Spock frowned "Is there anything you can do?"

"I can give him a weaker antiviral but he won't be back at work for at least 48 hours, and I know he won't stay here if I try and make him"

McCoy stood and walked back to his office, pausing on his return when he noticed Spocks hand gently pressed against Kirks forehead, two fingers only just touching his skin.

Kirk stirred and groaned and Spock quickly withdrew his hand, his professional air resolutely back in place.

"Captain?"

Kirk groaned and peered up at him "W- where am I?"

"In sick bay"

Kirk let out a louder groan and tried to sit up his hand landing on Spocks for a brief moment. Spock jumped a little but did not move away.

"Jim you should've consulted McCoy sooner, you are very sick"

Kirk scowled hand tightening around the vulcans "Spooock please I'll do _anything_, just get me out of here before Bones turns up with one of those hyposprays"

Kirks voice was growing steadily weaker and he began breathing heavily again, hand slipping off of Spocks and the vulcan relaxed a little although his lips twitched a little in distaste.

McCoy stopped watching and rushed forward with the antiviral.

"_Move_"

The vulcan reluctantly stepped back just as Kirk slipped back into unconsciousness, his face twisted in pain. Bones pressed the hypospray to his neck and sighed staring down at his friend, hands clenched.

"Spock take him back to his room and… stay with him until he wakes up" He said it hurried as though there was nothing he wanted less than having to ask the first officer for help.

"Jim wont listen to me, but you… you at least can physically control him if needs be"

Spock raised his eyebrow a fraction and crossed his arms "You wish me to contain him to his quarters?"

"Yes"

Spock nodded "And to stay with him until he wakes?"

"Yes!"

Spock tilted his head "I am sure I can do that doctor"

"Right and I want hourly status reports"

"Affirmative"

McCoy looked up at the vulcan "Maybe you should take a few days off?"

Spock raised both eyebrows.

"I am first officer; it is my duty to take command when the captain is unable"

"Yeah but you're also his friend, and if you don't keep him their he will go missing on the ship and in this state anything could happen to him"

Spock looked to the captain, the idea of what could happen sending chills through the vulcans chest.

"I will consider it"

McCoy nodded, "Right, you will have to give him one of these twice a day alright?" he handed a small bag containing more hyposprays over to the vulcan.

Spock held it tightly and slipped the long thin strap over his shoulder, waiting. McCoy glanced up and raised his eyebrows "You can pick him up now"

Spock almost blushed but carefully slipped his hands under the captain and held him close to his chest, juggling him a little until the captains head landed against his shoulder and he could hold him without fear of dropping his t'hy'la.

McCoy watched him readjust the man for a moment, honestly surprised at how tender the vulcan was with his best friend and again shocked that Jim really didn't realise how he felt.

"Go on, better get him out of here before he wakes up and starts shouting"


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: okay so this is slightly shorter than you guys are used to. But I didn't want to put too much going on at once into a single chapter. Thank you again for every review, story alert and favourite. I love you.

Spock clasped the captain gently to his chest as he made his way back to Jims quarters, glad that it was still too early for other members of the crew to be wandering the halls.

He lay the shorter man gently on the bed and paused hands on hips as he considered his next move. Jim stirred mumbling and reaching out, his hand gently clasping Spocks sweater, thumb knuckle grazing the exposed skin on the vulcans hip. Spock shivered and gently pulled his hand away, resting it on his softly rising chest.

The vulcan tilted his head and crossed the room, seating himself at the desk preparing the required paperwork for the captain and first officers medical leave. He finished it quickly and sat in silence for a moment deciding that there was only one person aboard who would be awake at this time in the morning.

He checked the captains state of consciousness before reaching out to the screen on the desk and speaking into the microphone.

"Spock to lieutenant Uhura, this is Spock"

There was a quiet buzz and the screen flashed, Uhuras curious face filling the screen. "Spock?"

She was dressed in a track top, hair pulled back in a ponytail, water bottle in her grip.

"Nyota" he spoke quietly not wanting to wake the captain.

"Spock what's wrong? Why are you calling me from the captains quarters?"

"I wish you to inform the bridge crew that the captain and I will not be attending our shifts for the next few days"

She gaped at him, eyes wide "What the hell is going on?"

Spock almost smirked "The captain is ill and doctor McCoy has asked me to remain with him to ensure he remains rested and does not go missing"

Nyota chuckled , remembering the now infamous chicken pox incident.

"Oh right" she smirked at him crossing her arms "And _nobody_ else was available, it just had to be you"

Spock tilted his head "What are you implying Nyota?"

"Oh you know full well what I'm implying. Keep the captain in bed for a few days?"

She raised an eyebrow and giggled, Spock blushed lightly and glanced at his t'hy'la's prone position.

"I do not wish to take advantage of him"

She sighed "Are you going to tell him though? I mean it's a perfect chance"

Spock frowned "I do not want to apply undue stress whilst he is recovering"

She glared at him and flicked her hair "_Spock_, you are going to have to tell him eventually"

Spock sighed "I cannot"

"You're being an idiot!, he loves you. I am sure of it"

Spock glared at her, eyes hard "You do not know how the captain feels. It is illogical to assume the situation before I know the facts"

Uhura groaned "Fine, but when he says I love you Spock, I'm completely head over heels ridiculously in love with you. You have to stand there and I get to say I told you so. _Okay_?"

Spocks anger faded and he felt a new sense of affection for his ex. "If it comes to such, I will allow it"

Nyota grinned at him "Good. Right I've got to go, I have to get a run in before my shift"

Spock nodded "Goodbye Nyota"

"Goodbye Spock" she waved and suddenly the screen went black. Spock sighed glancing again at his unconscious friend before pulling a PADD closer and beginning his paperwork.

Six hours later and the captain had not awoken. Spock was beginning to get worried, as was McCoy whose frowning face filled his screen every hour on the hour, infamous frown deepening when every time Spock gave him the same message.

"No change doctor"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the captains condition has not changed. Although I must admit this is irregular, the captain is prone to sleeping in short periods of five hours and as he has been asleep for twice that period I believe some attempt to wake him is necessary"

Spock spoke quickly his face blank. McCoy crossed his arms, knowing that the vulcan was obviously worried.

"Alright since when have you been studying Jims sleeping patterns?" He shook his head sighing "... Turn the screen so I can see him properly"

Spock nodded and turned the screen, rising from his seat and crossing the room. He paused at the bed before raising his voice "Captain? Jim! You must awake!" but there was no movement and Spock frowned.

"Try shaking his shoulder!" McCoys voice filtered through the thick air and Spock sighed, knowing that touching Jim was necessary but uncomfortable. He reached out and touched him gently shaking and whispering his name.

But still no movement, Spock frowned and grabbed him by both shoulder lifting his torso from the bed, normally cool skin terrifyingly warm. The first officer shook his captain, terror filling him when Jim still did not wake.

He let his t'hy'la fall back onto the bed and turned to face the doctor an idea striking him "Doctor, whilst on vulcan a classmate of mine was involved in a violent collision and suffered damage to his brain. His doctors used a mind meld to pull him back and awaken him"

He knew his desperation was evident but found he did not care. McCoys mouth was hanging open and his eyes wild "You...you want to _mind meld_ with Jim?"

Spock sighed and stood up straight hands clenched tightly behind his back "Affirmative"

McCoy closed his mouth and glanced at his friend before nodding "If it helps. I am on my way down, do what you can" the screen went black and Spock was alone again.

He turned on the spot staring down at Jim "I apologise my t'hy'la, this invasion of your privacy is unacceptable. But necessary if it saves you" he knew speaking to the unconscious man in such a way was illogical and yet it comforted him somewhat to be allowed a chance to explain.

He sighed and walked forwards, seating himself on the edge of the bed, hand reaching out to touch his psi points "_Forgive me_"

Suddenly he found himself alone, at the centre of a spotlight that bathed him in bright white light. The vulcan squinted and called out "Jim?" hand held over his eyes he took a single step forward.

A figure appeared from the strange black world outside of the spotlight.

"Jim?" , the captain was dressed in formal terran attire, a black tuxedo and bowtie, his hair combed back, face panicked lips closed around the tip of his thumb.

Spock tilted his head "Jim?"

The man looked up and instantly his face lit up "Spock! You came!" he rushed forward and wrapped his arms around the vulcan, holding him tightly.

Spock just stood there, frozen in shock when he realised Jim had let him go and was now stood much too close, his eyes trailing over Spocks chest. The vulcan glanced down and raised an eyebrow surprised when he noticed he too was wearing a suit very much similar to Jims and he took a moment to consider how truly beautiful the captain looked.

His startling blue eyes alert and filled with joy, shining grin making it heard for the vulcan to breathe.

"Jim? Are you well?" Spock took a step forward and Jim pouted.

"Dance with me"

Spock tilted his head "Captain you must wake up"

Jim frowned and reached out pulling the Vulcan's arms around him, and Spock did not resist. He wanted to dance once more with Jim, to feel his arms around him and to lean into the soothing cool of his skin.

Spock nodded and opened his arms, the shorter man letting out a yelp of joy before leaping on his first. Together they began to sway and Jim hummed into his friend shoulder remaining like this until Spock felt a presence in the back of his mind.

He sighed "Jim, I have to go"

Jim pulled away and stared up at him eyes wide "I wish we could dance forever. It just feels so…good"

Spock frowned and took the liberty of resting his head on Jims shoulder "I too enjoy dancing with you, but you are ill and I have to get you to wake up. Do you understand?"

Jim groaned and hugged the vulcan once more before letting him go "Touching you is addictive…what does that mean?"

Spock paused "I do not understand"

Jim shook his head, "Spock, I think I… I like you"

Spock tilted his head "I too value you as a friend "

Kirk groaned and punched him lightly on the chest "I mean I _like_ like you"

"I do not understand"

The presence in Spocks mind flared and Spock knew it was McCoy, calling him back "Jim you must wake up"

Jim looked up at him his eyes sad "I cant, its stopping me"

"What is stopping you Jim?"

"Listen, whatever I have it isn't the flu okay? Tell Bones. Tell him I need a hospital. You have to promise me"

"I promise Jim"

"Thank you Spock"

Suddenly the vulcan was expelled from Jims mind and awoke panting, his body leant over Jims, heart beat erratic as he breathed deeply.

McCoy pulled him away and began scanning him "Damn it Spock. What _happened_ in there?"

Spock controlled his breathing, stood his full height, eyes baring down on Bones. "The captain needs a hospital, he cannot wake up"

Bones shook his head rushing to Jims side "Damn it Jim"

Spock glanced once at his friend and turned towards the desk, quickly calling the bridge "Spock to bridge, this is Spock"

"Bridge here"

"Mr Chekov, plot a course to the nearest Starfleet hospital. The captain has taken ill and is in need of medical care than cannot be provided aboard"

The bridge crew stared at each other "Aye aye commander, plot laid in"

"Thank you, maximum warp Mr. Sulu"

"Aye commander"

"Spock out"

The crew stared at each other for a moment before bursting into action, professional air dampened by the concern they all shared for their popular captain.

Spock turned back to the doctor and clasped his hands tightly behind his back.

"Spock, I'm going to need you to carry Jim to sick bay again so I can get him on a medical gurney"

Spock glanced at Jim and nodded, again holding the captain close to his chest, ignoring the pointed stare McCoy was giving them. Walking through the halls was a strange experience, the crew staring without shame as he trod onward keeping his eyes up and forward.

The doctor had packed a small bag containing some of Jims clothes and was hurrying ahead of the vulcan, hand clasped tightly around the handle knuckles white.

Spock felt an odd emotion when he realised there were others who cared for Jim almost as much as he did, he decided based on his studies of positive human emotions that it was affinity he was feeling.

Spock pulled Jim tighter and inhaled his scent, this action seemingly steadying his panic and slowing his frantic heartbeat. They arrived at sickbay, Bones throwing the bag down on a nearby bio bed, hollering to the nurses to get him a gurney and to wake up the second medical officer as McCoy was needed elsewhere.

The nurses worked efficiently, helping the vulcan lower his t'hy'la onto the gurney and pointedly ignoring the vulcans hand clasping at his worn tee.

Spock placed himself in the seat next to the captain and left his hand there, just watching his chest rise and fall steadily as McCoy buzzed around making arrangements.

"Spock?"

Spock looked up sharply and raised an eyebrow at McCoy in silence. The room had gone almost motionless, and it appeared that they were alone.

"We've arrived at the hospital Spock, I take it you're going with him"

Spock stood and placed a protective hand on the now floating side bars of the gurney.

"Affirmative"

McCoy rolled his eyes "Follow the man in red when you get in there, I will admit him you just go straight to the exam rooms' okay?"

Spock nodded and grabbed Jims bag from the chair, his eyes flickering between the door and Jims pale face. Suddenly the calm was broken and the medical staff flooded the room, lining up to take orders from the doctor.

"Okay everyone, doctor Franklin is in charge until I get back. I will keep you updated"

McCoy turned and began striding out of the room, gesturing over his shoulder for Spock to follow. The vulcan gripped the handle tight just as Bones had done and pushed the gurney lightly, the sleek metal bobbing slightly with the pressure.

The two men rushed through the halls, crew members leaping out of the way or standing to attention as they passed their faces pale and worried all eyes seeming to stick to the captain prone form.

There was no sound, no whispers just the steady air of respect and communal anxiety. Spock dropped his head and pushed on, mind solely on his task.

They entered a shuttle, McCoy running to the controls and pressing buttons furiously as Spock carefully tethered the floating gurney to the bars to stop it juggling the captain during flight and sat down hand still clenching the cold metal bars.

When they landed two officers in yellow opened the door and rushed in, moving towards the gurney. Spock stood quickly and moved in front of them, blocking their path.

"It's alright; he has it, just get people out of the way"

The two men shared a glance but relented rushing out of the door. McCoy didn't look up from his PADD.

"You're welcome"

Spock raised an eyebrow but grabbed Jims bag and untethered the gurney, pushing it lightly down the ramp, focussing on getting him into the hospital.

The hospital was a large domed structure, three enormous pods covered in silver panels and large circular windows dotted across them. The front entrance was a half circle, sliding white doors opening to a large airy room, tiny black desk at its centre.

A woman sat watching them approach, red suited man at her side. McCoy glanced up from his PADD "Spock follow him, I'll finish the paperwork"

Spock nodded and followed the stocky figure as he rushed away, sprinting to another set of black shining doors face refreshingly blank. The vulcan pushed Jim into the turbolift, not looking up from the now seemingly paler face of his friend.

As the black doors slid open again he found himself in a bright white corridor, single shining doors at uniform periods along the walls staff in bright red uniform milling about, ignoring the newcomers. The air was cool and smelt clean , the low hum of manufactured cleansed oxygen floated from the large vents high up on the walls.

Spock pushed forward and was shown into a small room, a single white biobed again at its centre, shelves lined the walls and the man in red crossed his arms waiting for Spock to place Jim on the bed.

He turned and carefully lifted him placing the unconscious man stretched out on the cool white bed. Spock turned on his heels and placed his hands behind his back, watching as the doctor glanced up at the lines of streaming characters Spock did not recognise as they streamed across the wall above Jims head.

The doctor looked up and spoke quietly, pressing a hypospray to Jims neck.

"It will take some time to diagnose your captain. You may use the family quarters through there, he is stable for now"

The man gestured toward a cool white door to the left of Jims bed and Spock nodded. He turned to leave and Spock turned considering his captains attire, it was not fitting for him to be in such a state whilst he was stable and in the presence of so many strangers. The vulcan tilted his head and opened the bag McCoy had brought with them. Inside he found several black undershirts and uniform trousers, and to his surprise his own change of uniform.

He glanced at the door, but saw no way to lock it and steadied his mind. He gently removed Jims shirt and replaced it with a undershirt sliding the trousers on and covering his bare feet with a pair of unfortunately familiar green socks that the captain had taken to wearing on the bridge.

Standing back he sighed at his friend, settling himself down to meditate.

.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Okay guys, you might hate me when this chapter is over.

Spock stood, his meditation interrupted by a soft knock on the doorframe. A elegantly dressed man smiled at him, his silver hair short and warm brown eyes glancing between the vulcan and the captains prone form.

"Ambassador"

"Spock"

Spock rolled his trousers down from the knee and placed his hands respectively behind his back.

"I was not aware you knew of the captains condition"

Spock smiled warmly at his younger counterpart and stepped over the threshold, silver robes flowing behind him.

"I was not, but I was visiting a friend here and I came across your doctor McCoy in the hall. He informed me that my grandson was here with your captain and that he may need a companion at this difficult time"

Spock tilted his head "He believed you are my grandfather?"

"Yes"

Spock sighed inwardly, glad that McCoy had not investigated further. The ambassador walked quietly to Jim's side and stared down at him, before glancing up to Spock.

"I know this must be difficult for you, as it would be for me if my t'hy'la was in such a diminished state"

Spock stared for a moment before shaking himself and glaring at the old man "What did the doctor tell you?"

"He did not tell me anything young one. But it seems that what was once true for me is also true for you"

Spock stepped forward frowning "The Kirk in your world was…t'hy'la"

Spock smiled sadly at the first officer "He was and always will be"

The two men shared a quiet moment before the elder spoke again "Spock, is your captain aware of how you feel?"

Spock shook his head, eyes still trained on Jims pale sweat covered brow. The old man sighed "Listen to me young one. I kept my emotions a secret for many years before I was… forced to reveal them. It was then I discovered that Jim too harboured these emotions and to this day I mourn the needless loss of the years we could have shared. I urge you to not make the mistake I did and realise that humans, although they express them more readily, are just as scared of their emotions as we are and much less inclined to act on them"

Spock stared openly at him, "You are telling me that if Jim feels similar emotions…he would not reveal them to me?"

"I expect not Spock"

The vulcan stared down at his t'hy'la emotions flooding his chest "Humans are…complicated"

Spock smiled warmly and tilted his head.

"This is true young one. Don't forget what I said"

Spock looked up at him and bowed his head slightly "Thank you ambassador"

"I must leave now, your crew will be on their way to visit and I don't think explaining our situation to so many would be advisable"

The science officer smiled inwardly and nodded, "Goodbye, friend"

Spock smiled hands clasped behind his silver robes, letting the warmth he felt shine in his eyes "Good luck young one".

The vulcan watched as he retreated and when he was alone once more turned back toward the bed. He allowed himself a liberty and reached out, hand brushing across his captains fevered brow, eyelids fluttering at the touch. It was in this position that the bridge crew found him, five pairs of eyes flickering from the vulcans concerned face to his hand and back.

Spock quickly removed his hand and placed it safely behind his back, acutely aware that he had not showered and his hair was sticking up from running his own fingers through it in worry, shirt still slightly damp with his and the captain sweat.

Spock tilted his head "Mr. Scott, Mr. Sulu Mr. Chekov, Nyota, doctor" he nodded at each person in turn, eyes flickering back to Jim before he moved around the bed to stand in front of the crew.

"How... how is he?" Chekovs nervous voice wavered in the air and he stood closely to Sulu, sharing a worried glance with the other members of the group, Spock turned to face him.

The five members of the crew were equally dishevelled although not as much as Spock and all seemed uncomfortable, Mr. Scott clutching a small bouquet of wilting flowers, tulips.

Jims favourite.

Spocks throat seemed to constrict and he shook himself internally "He is stable"

Relief was awash in the cool clammy air and Spock gestured to the numerous seats around them waiting for them to be seated before he spoke again.

"He has not yet awoken, although the doctors are trying to diagnose him"

All the crew pointedly ignored the fact Spock was standing at the captains side, hand mindlessly drifting across and gripping the unconscious mans bicep.

They shared a awkward nod and the doctor spoke up "They have a few theories, and I think they have narrowed it down to a few possible infections"

Everyone nodded and there was another tense moment and Spock glanced from his captain to the crew.

"I believe the captain would wish me to thank you for visiting him"

Spocks voice was quiet and everyone smiled at him shakily, Spock frowned internally. He sounded weak, pathetic and yet they did not seem to care.

"He will be okay wont he?" Chekovs voice was hopeful and he looked up at Spock large eyes pleading.

"Yes of course he will"

Nyota's voice was strong, confident, her eyes boring into Spocks and the group seemed to brighten, positivity shining in the air around them.

"Yeah, Jim wouldn't let a silly little virus kill him" Scotty waved his hand in the air as if to indicate how silly the idea was.

McCoy smiled and the crew stood as one as if they had decided at once to leave, placing the flowers in a vase at the side of his bed, each member glancing down at the captain and away as if the image disturbed them.

Nyota remained where she was, pointedly ignoring the confused glances the crew gave her.

"I'll meet you guys later"

She raised her eyebrows and the crew nodded, waving goodbye to Spock as they turned to leave.

"Tell him hi from us when he wakes up"

Spock bowed his head in agreement and watched them leave, eyes trained on their backs until they disappeared from view. Nyota stood quickly and wrapped her arms around Spocks defeated frame.

"Oh _Spock_"

He sighed and placed his hands on her back, face on her shoulder.

"Nyota I must admit, I am anxious to hear him speak again"

Nyota pulled back, hands on his cheeks before releasing him "He will be fine Spock"

The vulcan sighed and stepped away, his mind a flurry of emotions and thoughts.

"Do you believe the crew is… aware of my emotions?" he glanced up at her, blushing slightly and she smiled at him crossing her arms.

"Spock, I think you and Jim were the last to know"

Spock tilted his head and she chuckled softly "You haven't exactly hidden it well recently"

He frowned "What do you mean?"

She rolled her eyes and stepped toward him, hand on his forearm "Spock, honey, I don't want to offend you but you look like crap" she looked him over, taking in his pale face and the dark circles under his eyes.

Spock closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his waist, shame filling his chest. He moved away and walked into the family room, ignoring her pained sigh, he strode forward to the small bathroom and came to a stop in front of the small mirror, the air here cool and welcoming.

He groaned quietly at his reflection, resolving to clean himself up before he was seen by anybody else. Nyota waited patiently at the side of kirks bed, knowing how much pride Spock took in his appearance and how looking so dishevelled must pain him.

When he returned he had combed his hair, washed his face and replaced his shirt. She smiled "To this day I don't know how you manage to look so good so easily"

Spock smiled at the compliment and reached out his hand towards his friend.

"I will escort you to the others"

She raised an eyebrow but relented, rising to her feet and wrapping her arm around his pulling him from the room. Spock knew it was better for him to leave for some time, the intense emotions the sight of Jim invoked in him was wearing him down but he found he was reluctant to leave his friend his feet dragging as they crossed the threshold.

Together they walked slowly toward the lift, Spock thinking through everything that had happened since they had returned from Narcissum. He was struck with a memory of what Jim had said.

"Nyota"

She looked up at him as they exited the lift, crossing the lobby and entering the shining black door opposite. Together they crossed a thin rope bridge over a thick forest, brightly coloured birds effortlessly floating through the air around them warm dry air floating up from the dense flora below them.

"Yes Spock?"

He turned how best to phrase what he was about to say over and over in his mind .

"Nyota, what does it mean to like like somebody?"

She frowned, eyebrows furrowing lips upturned slightly in amusement.

"What do you mean?"

Spock removed his arm from her grasp and crossed them in front of him "Whilst I was in Jims mind, he told me he _like_ likes me"

Spock put the same emphasis on the first like as Jim had, watching the dawning realisation and joy flood in his friends' eyes.

"Wait... he told you he actually likes you?!"

Spock nodded his lip twitching with her infectious enthusiasm, and she crossed her own arms, jutting out one hip and beaming fully at him.

"Spock, when someone like likes someone then that means they… are interested in them… _romantically_"

She ducked her head grinning and Spock took a second to analyse the tone of her voice to check whether she was joking. She was not.

"Romantically?"

The Vulcan's face twitched and he could feel it, a warm seed at the base of his spine slowly filling him up, it was hope and it was strong.

She laughed and grabbed his arm "Yeah Spock...oh oh _wait_"

Letting go she planted her feet firmly hands on hips eyes boring into Spocks, she cleared her throat and raised her finger pointing directly at her ex.

"I told you so"

Spock smiled letting his arms drop to his side "Nyota, I believe the agreement was that if he told me he **loved** me. Not if he told me he like liked me"

She pouted and rubbed his arm pulling him along again

"Still, this is good. It means he is open to the idea of you two … you know"

She waggled her eyebrows and Spock looked away embarrassment flooding his face with a light green tinge.

"I am sure I do not know what you mean"

She laughed loudly, still giggling quietly as they entered the smooth doors that lead to the inside of the next pod and incidentally the canteen. There were several large black tables lining the walls and an island in the middle stocked high with buffet style plates of strange alien food, the scents wafting across giving this room at least a warm and homely feel.

Spock titled his head toward the familiar group sat at the nearest table, nodding in greeting as they turned to face him.

"Spock, I have some good news"

McCoy stood and Nyota took his place, smiling at her friends. Spock clasped his hands behind his back and took a step forward.

"You have discovered the cause of the captains symptoms?"

McCoy grinned crossing his arms "Uh actually we have narrowed it down to two possible strains a virus that Jim must've picked up on Narcissum"

Spock raised an eyebrow, eyes darting to a man approaching them from the left, elegant limbs wrapped in a vibrant red suit wide smile lighting up a handsome face and twinkling deep brown eyes.

Spock turned to the man, bowing in greeting.

"Ah I am glad you remember my culture, my name is G'kil and how may I greet you?"

"My name is Spock"

"Very well Spock, I am your captains new doctor. I was conversing with your brilliant young doctor earlier and he told me your captain had been to my planet and when he explained the symptoms I was intrigued"

Spock felt irritation at the enthusiasm this man felt for the captains ill fate and fought to keep it from his face.

"I _see_"

The mans warm smiled wavered for a second and he glanced confused at McCoy who just shook and head sighing.

"Why don't we get back to Jims room so we can, you know, try curing him?"

McCoy made a shooing movement ands pock glanced at his crew who waved goodbye as he was swept along in the path of the exuberant doctor, his silken wings fluttering in the warm air currents that filtered across the canteen.

The trio walked in silence, Spock considering the strange ball of hope filling his chest slowly. They entered Jim's room and arranged themselves without a word, the two doctors on the left side of the bed and Spock stoic at Jims right.

"What are your theories doctors?"

The two men shared a glance and G'kil spoke first "I recognised your captains symptoms as Hurg fever, however it does appear that he has contracted one of the two rather rare strains of the diseases"

Spock pressed his lips together tightly and looked down at Jim. The captain looked peaceful as though he was simply asleep, soft pale skin flushed around his cheeks and spreading down his chest, sweat beading on his forehead and running in thin trails down his neck.

The vulcan looked back up to see the two doctors staring at him, concern evident in their eyes. Spock straightened himself and raised an eyebrow "I see, is there a test to determine which it is?"

G'kil blushed and glanced at Bones "No, but we can try treating him with the weaker cure for the more likely strain, it is less likely that your captain will have a bad reaction to it"

Spock raised both his eyebrows "And if he does"

The three men shared a grave silence and McCoy mumbled gruffly

"We will fix it"

A nervous glance from G'kil and they got into position, Spock at Jims side hand on his t'hy'la's shoulder and McCoy holding the hypospray ready to press it to his friends jugular.

G'kil stood at the foot of the bed, eyes trained on the scrolling writing above them. Spock tensed as Bones pressed the hypospray in and took a step back, glancing at the science officer.

There was a beat where nothing happened and G'kil opened his mouth the beginnings of a smile forming on his lips when suddenly Jims heart rate began to drop and Spocks finger straightened on his shoulder eyes boring into his skin.

But it continued to fall and suddenly Spock was thrown sideways, Bones knocking him bodily from Jims side as the chaos erupted around them.

Time seemed to slow to almost stop and Spock watched in slow motion as nurses and other doctors ran into the room, hyposprays and bags of strange coloured liquid in hand, shouting distant all other sounds silent.

His back collided with the corner and the captains heart stopped, the shrill ring of the alarm stabbing his brain, making white light flicker and shine behind his eyes, and he felt it.

The realisation that Jim was gone, his t'hy'la was lost to him hitting him a dull thump in his stomach and he couldn't breathe, the air was gone and all that was left was the emptiness.

Spock put a hand to his chest, feeling as though the hole he felt inside would be tangible, and the shrill ring covered him, sunk into his skin echoing around his empty heart and he was alone in his bubble of silence.

All he knew was pain and Jim was dead.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Oh guys, here is a long one. There is a hella lot of dialogue in here but fluff as well to make up for killing Jim._

Spock's eyes were unfocused, the world slowly disappearing under heavy lids. He sat there, his breathing erratic heart beat pounding in his side. Suddenly there was a heavy palm on his knee and he opened his eyes, bright white light from the medical scanner shining in his stinging eyes and his head ached.

"Spock? you have to get up. Its okay Spock he is alive. We saved him"

G'kil's voice slowly filtered though and it was like an arrow shot to his heart. The doctor removed his hand and stood his face concerned but he did not make a move to touch the vulcan again.

Spock clutched his side and shakily pushed himself to his feet, stumbling over to the bed, eyes trained on the shockingly pale face of his t'hy'la, relief flooding suddenly when he saw a steady rise and fall, however faint, in his captains chest.

Spock took a deep breath, his clarity returning taking a moment to recover himself, slowing his heart rate and soothing his breathing back to a steady rhythm. Spock let out the breath and rolled his shoulders back, quickly closing down all emotion, blocking the residual panic, fear and disallowing the hope to swell until he was sure of the captain's condition.

He had reacted too strongly, he had allowed his emotions to take him over and he had almost lost it, the vulcan could not let that happen again.

When he felt his mind was protected once more he looked up to McCoy, the doctors face flushed hands gripping the end of the bio bed, leaning down his eyes closed.

"Doctor?"

McCoy let out a sigh "He had an allergic reaction… but his reaction does mean that this is the right cure, the right treatment"

Spock stepped toward the doctor brushing his arm against the shorter mans in what he understood was a reassuring gesture common among friends. McCoy looked up sharply, confusion in his eyes.

The science officer raised an eyebrow "Will he recover?"

McCoy bit his lip and Spock felt him wave sideways, brushing against the vulcan again "Only time will tell"

Together they looked down at Jim, both men feeling comforted by the solidarity of kinship, arms still touching slightly.

Six hours later (6.34 to be exact) and Spock was leant against the captains' bed, hand resting on Jims chest, uncomfortable white plastic chair making his hip and side ache where he leant against it. Eyes closed he remembered how it had felt to dance with Jim, to sleep in his bed and to feel his warmth. Spock knew it was unlikely that Jim was aware, but he continued to push the positive memories and thoughts and feelings into Jim, hope burrowing in his chest.

The vulcan considered what he should do next, and stood taking one last glance at Jim as he hurried through the door. His feet carried him down to the lobby and out of the door back onto the enterprise. Spock pressed his lips together, his mind reeling and he was struck with an idea.

The sleek doors slid open and the vulcan's sensitive nose was bombarded by the fragrant scents of the flowers that filled the room and his quick eyes darted around spotting the pilot crouched over a large fuming red plant, its yellow clouds surrounding him.

Spock stepped forward and resumed his usual pose

"Mr. Sulu"

Sulu stood up his eyebrows raised "Spock, is everything okay?"

Spock tilted his head and felt warmth at the concern in the helmsmen's voice.

"He has not yet awoken but is stable. I was considering the human custom of giving flowers to an unwell companion" he stopped, waiting for Sulu's comment.

However the shorter man just stared at him eyebrows raised.

"I am however unsure of the correct context of this"

Sulu closed his mouth, a cocky grin spreading across his face "Oh right, well you can get flowers for a friend or relative…anybody really. The context depends on which flowers you get"

Spock frowned, human culture was complicated.

"I do not understand"

Sulu uncrossed his arms and walked to nearby planter "Well say you wanted to give them to an elderly relative you'd get something like these" he held up blue begonias waving them at the vulcan.

"But if you are getting them for a friend you tend to get something they like or um…" he pulled up sunflowers and tulips "like these"

Spock nodded.

"And what Mr. Sulu do you get for a person who is neither of these things" he could feel the embarrassment pressing against the blocks in his mind and he strengthened them, it was a reasonable question.

Sulu chuckled and disappeared amongst the humid air, returning a few moments later clutching a large bouquet of roses and a flower Spock did not recognise. He reached out taking the flowers from Sulu and inhaling their scent.

When he looked up from the silken roses and strange deep brown flowers he found Sulu giving him a expression he could only recall as bafflement.

The vulcan stood to attention again "What are these flowers?" he gestured to the chocolate brown flowers raising an eyebrow.

"Oh they are from a planet Jim visited when he was a kid. He brought me a shoot about three months ago and asked me to grow him some"

Spock raised an eyebrow shocked.

"I am…surprised"

Sulu chuckled "About what? That Jim likes flowers?"

Spock nodded "Well I guess there is a lot you don't know about him"

The vulcan stared down at the bouquet in wonder.

"Thank you Hikaru, I will take these"

Sulu started at the use of his first name but nodded a smug smile on his face.

Upon his return Spock paused in the door, his mind running over the implications of the flowers he had brought. Stepping into the room he strode over to the small side table on Jims left and placed the bouquet into the circular glass plant pot, pouring a small amount of water in the top.

He smiled at the arrangement for a moment before turning and looking down at his friend, concern spiking at his chest. For a moment he just stood watching before sliding onto the smooth white plastic chair hand reaching out and laying again on the captains chest, his eyes sliding closed as he began a light meditative state.

McCoy had retired several hours ago, citing he needed to rest and the two men had shared a knowing stare as the doctor wandered into the family room closing the door behind him.

Suddenly the vulcan felt a light brush against his wrist and opened his eyes, watching Jims hand slowly creep up and touch his two fingers to Spocks a quiet inhale from the captain waking the vulcan fully from his stupor.

He sucked in a breath and turned his head sharply to see a single azure eye slowly open, red rimmed and glistening Jims eye flickered from their still touching hands to Spocks face and he slowly, painfully smiled lopsidedly.

Spock moved forward leaning in "Jim?" cursing himself he remembered that humans have significantly less sharpened hearing and he raised his voice "Jim?"

The captains other eyes opened and his smile brightened, his other hand clenching in the sheets.

"Spo-ock" his voice was rough, throaty and so very quiet.

Spock let out the breath he had been holding and smiled in return, finally allowing his mental blocks to loosen slightly. Pure joy seeped through his veins and he closed his eyes in relief.

"You are awake"

Jim chuckled hoarsely and tried to sit up, grunting with effort. Spock raised both his eyebrows and reached out, grabbing a glass of water from the side and pulling Jim up to a sitting position all in one smooth motion.

Jim blinked opening his mouth. It took the vulcan a second to understand before he held the cup to the captains dry cracked lips carefully pouring a small amount in and holding him under the chin. Jim swallowed and nodded, Spock removing the cup stood off to the side.

"Excuse me captain I must get the doctor"

Jim pouted but nodded lifting his hand as if to wave Spock away. The vulcans face twitched in another small smile and he rushed from the room, knocking twice on the family rooms door before letting himself in.

McCoy was lying on the nearest bed, eyes closed, softly snoring. Spock rushed over and touched him gently whispering his name.

The doctor was on his feet in a split second "Spock what is it!" he was clutching the vulcan tightly by both biceps and Spock raised an eyebrow.

"He is awake"

The strong hands clenched for a second before the doctor let go and ran into the other room, pulling his medical scanner from seemingly nowhere as he skidded to halt by the captains bed.

Jim winced amusement evident on his features and Spock watched from the doorway as the two friends shared matching grins, one substantially more strained than the other.

Bones waved the scanner over his friend, laughing at the readings and reaching out pulling Jims head to his chest is a brief embrace before letting him go and cuffing him on the ear. Spock observed them with interest, a strange warm feeling filling him as Jim yelped and pouted up at McCoy.

"What was that for"?

He spoke slowly but much of the life had returned to his voice.

"God dammit Jim, don't do that to me. You actually died for a few minutes there!" McCoy had his hands on his hips his voice angry but the fierceness of the reprimand was dampened by the wide grin on his friends face.

"I _died_?"

Jims smile dimmed and for a second he looked lost, his gaze falling on his first officer. Spock stared back for a moment, lost in the brilliant shining eyes of his captain.

The commander shook himself and took a step into the room crossing his arms, a sad frown on his face and Jim stared up at him, eyes wide and filled with sad light.

Bones glanced between the two men, raising an eyebrow. He muttered under his breath "I'll… just go tell the others you know the doctors and stuff…because I'm still here? And you … oh _fuck_ it"

McCoy threw his hands in the air and stamped out shaking his head.

Spock watched him in his peripheral vision, waiting for the sounds of the doctors swearing to disappear before he moved towards the bed. Sinking into the now familiar chair he looked at the opposite wall.

"I am glad you are awake captain"

Jim sighed "Jim, my name is Jim"

Spock looked at him and his hand reached out instinctively touching Jim on the arm, "_Jim_". Then the captain did something that Spock had not expected.

A single fat tear rolled down his t'hy'la's cheek and Spock stood leaning on his arms "Jim! What is wrong?"

Jim rolled his eyes, wiping a hand over his cheek sniffing "Oh_ god_. Spock I'm so embarrassed"

The vulcan placed his hands behind his back and tilted his head, and Jim gave him a watery smile "Heh I didn't… I never thought I'd see that again"

"See what Jim?"

The captain chuckled sadly "Nothing Spock".

They were silent for a long moment before Spock spoke up "You kissed me" he stared at Jim, watching his face carefully, Jims seemed confused his fingers twitching and the vulcan watched the dawning realisation on his face as he stared down at them.

Jim blushed and looked away frowning again when he spotted the bouquet.

"Spock… did you get me flowers?"

The vulcan frowned, Jim was avoiding the question but he found he could not argue. He just stared unsure of what to say as Jim shuffled himself sideways weakly, sniffing them as his fingers ran over the velvety leaves.

His eyes widened when he realised what they were "Spock...how did you…"

The vulcan blushed lightly and stepped forwards a little "I believe presenting flowers was a common human custom"

Jim grinned and turned facing his first "Thank you, they are beautiful"

Spock ducked his head "I am pleased you find them agreeable"

There was a long silence and Jim stared at his commander for a moment before whispering "Spock, I was… I had this _dream_"

The captain looked down at his hands, when he did not continue after ten seconds Spock decided to prompt him.

"A dream?"

"Yeah… we danced" he looked up from his hands and bit his lip, eyes wide.

Spock felt the blush rising from his chest and fought to keep it down but shamefully he could not.

"And I... I thought that-"

He looked up his eyes scouring Spocks flushed features. Jim's eyebrows raised and he crossed his arms "Spock? Why are you blushing?"

Spock licked his lips, biting down the thrill that ran through him as the captains eyes followed his tongue.

"Captain, I must apologise. It is indefensible to perform a mind meld on an unwilling participant" he looked down to the floor, shame filtering through his blocks and quelling the residual happiness.

Jim just stared mouth hanging open "It _wasn't_ a dream"

Spock shook his head and Jim gasped "Spock, listen to me" he was using his best commanding voice and Spock met his eyes.

"Captain, you must understand. I…_We_ were willing to try anything to get you to awake, and although indefensible I cannot say that in the same circumstances I will not attempt it again. It was only as a result of the meld that I discovered just how dangerously ill you were and I believe it saved your life. I can only ask for your forgiveness"

The commander knew that defending what he did was pointless. What he had done was a terrible invasion of privacy and the captain had no choice but to reprimand him for it.

Jim sighed and rubbed his forehead "I don't care. You did what you thought you had to and probably saved my life. How can I not forgive you, heck I even give you permission to do it in future and anyway its not like you were trying to hurt me. You were trying to pull me back"

Spock felt relief and almost smiled, Jims own grin growing by the second. Spock shuffled on his heels and glanced around.

"Captain, whilst I was in your mind you told me you like like me and-"

"_What!"_

There was a long silence where the captain looked anywhere but at his first officer as though he had not interrupted.

Spock raised an eyebrow and continued "I was unaware of the meaning of that phrase"

His voice had gotten quieter, more gentle and Jims head twitched but he still did not look up "So I asked Nyota"

That got his attention, the captain blushed even deeper eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

"She told me it meant you have romantic feelings for me"

Spock spoke matter of factly but inside his stomach felt curiously as though it were full of squirming wriggling creatures. Jim gurgled and turned a strange puce colour.

"Oh she did did she"

He mumbled to himself voice slightly high pitched and Spock let his hands fall to his side, his head felt strange, he felt off balance.

"Is what you spoke the truth?" he tried not to let the hope enter his voice and Jim finally met his eyes.

"Yeah"

Spock felt the happiness bloom, a thumping pounding pressure in his chest and he stepped forwards his voice lowered "I too like like you Jim" he let his eyes light up with the blinding bright shine from within and his lips quirked into a huge vulcan smile.

Jim watched Spocks mouth twitch slightly at the corners and he beamed back in return "So… you like me? For real?"

Spock frowned humour still evident in his eyes "This is not an illusion Jim"

The vulcan glanced to the door before lifting two fingers in the air, his stomach once again squirming. Jim paused for a second before reaching out and running his fingertips lightly over Spocks, licking his lips and slowly sliding them down to his firsts palm.

Spock blushed vibrant jade and removed his hand "Perhaps the doctor did not explain to you fully about vulcan kissing"

Jim raised one eyebrow a smug grin spreading across his face and Spock looked away failing to hide his smile.

"I am glad you are awake once more t'hy'la, I truly believed I had lost you" his voice took on a sad tone and Jim pouted, reaching out and pulling Spock closer.

Fingers tugging at his firsts top, the pull less strong than before and Spock took a step forward so he was leaning over his t'hy'la. The two men looked at each other and the captain smirked reaching out and pulling Spock down by his collar, whispering when his vulcan's mouth was just inches away.

"Perhaps _you_ need to learn a bit more about human kissing" his smirk was delicious and Spock leant forward, tasting the supple sweet press of Jims lips against his own, the pleasant cool of his skin, his fingers curled against Spocks neck and he closed his eyes.

The kiss ended and Spock moved just a hairs breadth away.

"I am glad I woke up too"

Jims voice was low and full of emotion, eyes closed mouth quirked in a satisfied smile. Spock stood once more, straightening himself out his sensitive ears pricking at the excited chatter coming from down the hall.

Spock glanced at the door "The others are here Jim"

Jim opened his eyes dreamily and grinned at Spock, "Hmm…what?"

Spock almost chuckled but reached out stroking Jims cheek and speaking quietly to him.

"Jim, the crew"

The glowing blue eyes widened and he let out a soft sigh, warm breath caressing Spocks wrist as he let go. Blinking Jim turned to the door, raising an eyebrow at Spocks sudden stern expression.

"Am I blushing?"

The captain glanced up at Spock a slight nervous smile on his faced.

Spock smiled back "I am sure they can contribute your appearance to your condition"

Jims eyes sparkled with laughter "_Good_".

Uhura was first into the room, eyes instantly landing on Jims wide smile. She grinned in return and ran to the bed "Captain!"

He reached out and she gently squeezed him stepping aside to let Chekov and Sulu take her place. McCoy stood in the doorway beaming and glancing to Spock who pointedly raised an eyebrow.

McCoy frowned and made his way over to the vulcan as the others were distracted by their incandescent captain. Sidling up to the commander McCoy glanced up at him and then back to the joyful scene in front of them.

"So you going to tell me why he is so damn happy? Or do I have to work it out for myself"

Spock turned his head and raised both eyebrows, smirking at the shorter man "Our situation has…_changed_"

A smug grin rose in his eyes and he turned back to smile at Jim who beamed back before asking his crew pointed questions about everything he had missed.

McCoy groaned a little "Thank god. I swear if I had to keep your secrets any longer I'd kill myself"

Spock frowned but did not comment as the doctor moved back to the doorway shaking his head.

The crew seemingly lost in their relief suddenly went quiet, identical beaming faces as Scotty spoke up "We are havin' a party to celebrate your return capt'n"

Jim beamed brightly and reached out clapping hands to his engineers shoulder "Excellent!"

They all shared pleased grins and began to chatter at once about when and where they will have the party and what music they would have.

Jim was silent through all of this, just looking from face to face as if he couldn't believe they existed. McCoy coughed and pushed himself off the doorframe from where he had been leaning.

"Sorry guys, funs over. G'kil's here to look you over properly Jim and the nurses are going to have to give you a bath so you lot get out" he gestured with his thumb and the crew laughed, waving goodbye and talking excitedly about the upcoming celebration.

Spock stood impassive his mind reeling at the thought of the nurses touching Jim jealously stabbing at his heart. He was still lost in his thoughts when he smelt a sweet fragrant blast of warmer air and G'kil was there next to McCoy his eyes lit up, perfect white teeth shining against his luminous skin.

The vulcan walked quickly over to Jims side perching on the edge of the uncomfortable white chair as G'kil began explaining the tests he needed to perform, telling Jim exactly what he was doing and why as his capable hands pressed and prodded and pulled.

"It is amazing, truly amazing"

The doctor looked up from his scanner and beamed at Spock who tilted his head in agreement

"You should be up and walking by tomorrow and available to leave within three days"

Jims grin dimmed and he crossed his arms "Why can't I go now?"

Spock closed his eyes, he should have known.

"Jim, you must be observed to make sure the illness has been cured" he spoke quietly, trying to keep the commanding tone from his voice.

The captain pouted at him, eyes wide and pleading "Spock please, I hate hospitals. You _know_ that" he reached out and put his hand on Spocks shoulder mouthing the word please repeatedly.

Spock began considering what other options the captain had when McCoys own strong hand slapped Jim's fingers from the commanders' shoulder. Both men glared up at him and he raised his eyebrows hands on hips.

"Luckily, Mr. Spock there doesn't have a say in the matter. You are staying here until G'kil and I say you can go" he pointed furiously at Jim who frowned sighing, then McCoy turned his finger at Spock "And _you_. You should know better than to even let him think he is getting out of here without my consent it's up to you to make sure he doesn't escape"

Spock glared up at the doctor but nodded in agreement, glancing at his t'hy'las betrayed expression.

"Jim, it is logical for you to comply with doctor McCoys wishes as will I"

Spock made sure to maintain eye contact and sighed when Jim looked away glaring up at his friend "This is _your_ fault Bones, you even turned Spock against me"

Bones raised an eyebrow "Oh I don't think that is true"

Jim blushed and glanced between his friend and his commander "You know about this don't you" he gestured between himself and the vulcan, suspicion evident in his voice.

"Of course I do, everyone does"

Jim blushed even deeper "What!"

Spocks eyebrow twitched with humour "Jim, Nyota told me that the crew realised even before we did"

Jim just gaped at him, eyes wide as McCoy chuckled on his way out of the door "I'll leave you crazy kids alone. You should talk or whatever you do when I'm not around" he vaguely waved a hand behind himself and walked away not looking back.

Once again Spock and t'hy'la were alone.

Jim was staring at him strangely and Spock tilted his head "Jim is something wrong?"

The captain held his gaze for a moment before clasping his hands in front of him "Spock… you know that I like you, and you said that you…you like me too but I was thinking… and I don't want to push you into anything your not happy with. Because that's what I want, I want you to be happy but I can't be happy without knowing what …. What this is"

He spoke quickly, the soft golden light filtering in through the smooth glass wall bathing the captain making his skin glow, eyes scrolling as though he were reading the words from a script.

Spock frowned and stepped forward, placing his hand gently on the captains chest.

Blue eyes stared up and Spock spoke quietly "Jim, we are whatever you wish us to be. You are t'hy'la"

He smiled and pressed two fingertips to his captains' palm and then his forehead, inhaling the strangely comforting sweet scent of Jim underneath the tang of sweat.

Jim grinned up at him "Can I call you my boyfriend or lover or… I don't know. What do I call you?"

Spock frowned "Spock"

Jim laughed "Spock it is, I like that. You are _my_ Spock" he reached out a hand and placed it on Spock's heated skin rubbing his thumb over the smooth skin of his cheek and over the high peaks of his cheekbones.

"_Mine"_ he was whispering and Spock shuddered into his cool palm Jim raising an eyebrow and chuckling.

Suddenly a short squat woman in plain green dress bundled in holding a small blue tub and a large bottle of streaming water, cloth draped over her arm. Spock straightened and full on glared at her crossing his arms in front of himself and quickly stepping around the bed effectively blocking her path to Jim.

The woman stopped in her tracks and her eyes drew up slowly from the floor, over the long lean legs of the commander over his chest and up to his cold hard eyes. Her quiet humming stopped and she raised both eyebrows, eyes wide mouth open.

Spock titled his head and removed the blue tub, cloth and bottle from her hands, "The captain does not require your services madam. I will attend to him"

The woman frowned and put her hands on her hips "Oh you _will,_ will you"

Spocks glare intensified and he pressed his lips together, his voice taking on a dangerous tone "Please leave"

The woman glanced to Jim who just shrugged his shoulders, mystified stare vacant and she grunted turning on her heels and leaving. Spock sighed, his muscles relaxing and the warmth seeping back into his eyes turning the vulcan froze.

Jim was giggling to himself, hands over his eyes, rubbing down his face until his palm came to rest against his mouth, the glee in his eyes strangely attractive, his chest heaving with the effort as he tried to stop laughing.

Spock frowned "Is there something humorous Jim?"

Jim shook his head, bed shaking with the fresh peals of laughter. Spock rolled his eyes and strode to the bed, setting the blue tub on the side and filling it halfway with the steaming hot water.

Turning on his heels he walked quickly to the family room and pulled a small yellow bottle from the cabinet in the bathroom, retuning to the bedside and dropping the cloth into the water.

Jims giggles subsided and he watched with interest as Spock tipped a tiny amount of the yellow liquid into the water, a strong smell much like the citrus fruits of earth filled Spocks nostrils and he smiled.

Wringing out the cloth he turned and Jim blushed instantly, only now realising what was about to happen, Spock paused hesitant, and he could feel the heat of his embarrassment rising in his face. Stirring in his chest was a seed of lust and Spock felt guilt. He should be able to tend to his t'hy'la without resorting to physical exertion.

The vulcan licked his lips and looked into his captains eyes, "Jim, I am going to remove your shirt, I would ask that you help me"

"Well if you just wanted to get me naked you should've said"

Spocks blush deepened slightly and Jim sat up fully pulling the thin black fabric over his head, grinning arrogantly as Spock averted his eyes.

"Like what you see?"

The vulcan turned his head eyes instantly drawn to where the sheets lay low on Jims hips revealing a taut tanned stomach leading up to defined muscular shoulders and smooth skin over his neck his scent filling the vulcans nostrils.

Spock inhaled sharply as he was struck by his surprisingly strong lust and he leant forward crashing his lips to the smirking arrogant lips of his lover.

Jim moaned as Spock deepened the kiss, pushing himself forward until he was leant hovering over his t'hy'la's body, one knee on the edge of the bed supporting his weight, hand nested against the supple shoulders, his free hand running down Jims side.

Their tongues battled and Jim sucked lightly on the Vulcan's bottom lip, making it plump and tinged more with green. Spock pulled back breathing heavily his eyes half lidded with lust and heated stare flickering from the ruby red lips of his lover to his own burning gaze.

His eyes slid shut and he leant forward, his lust satisfied for the moment as their foreheads came into contact and jim sighed whispering quietly aS the vulcans heat engulfed him

"I love you"

Spock opened his eyes, and his mind reeled at the words. He had known Jim had romantic feelings for him but love… _that _he had not expected.

In the time it had taken Spock to consider this Jims eyes had grown worried and his lip had been pulled into his mouth perfect white teeth nibbling the skin, making it torn and ragged.

"I love you Jim"

The man groaned and leant forward placing a chaste kiss on the vulcans lips.

"Dammit Spock don't _do_ that to me!"

Spock said nothing, placing his lips back on Jims.


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Okay guys lots of fluff for you today (: and a twist! Thanks again to all my reviewers, they are what get me though the day._

Spock woke early again, walking quickly to the bathroom to begin his customary morning cleansing routine. He started at his appearance in the mirror, three distinct dark marks on his neck vibrant against his pale skin. Spock sighed, something akin to pleasure rising in his chest.

He relished that Jim had chosen to mark him in this way, but he did not relish how obvious they were. Although illogical, he wished to keep this to himself, at least until he was aware of Jims feelings on how open they should be.

The vulcan completed his routine and tried to ignore the squirming feeling he was feeling as he approached the adjoining door to Jims room, he was excited to see him again to hold him tight and kiss his sweet supple lips. The vulcan sped up as he approached the sleek shining door, his own openly eager face staring back at him.

Spock sighed schooling his features to something less obvious as he pressed in the code, the cooler air hitting him with some force and the vulcan shivered, his eyes widening when he realised Jim was not in bed.

He had escaped.

Spock cursed himself for sleeping for so long and rushed to the bed, his mind whirring as he thought of all the places Jim could've gone, what eh could be doing, how weak he still was. Spock sucked in a breath and ran out of the door, stopping in his tracks when he spotted a crumpled form leant up against the wall just a few metres down the corridor.

Spock whispered to himself "Jim"

He rushed forwards falling on his knees next to his lover trying to stop the concern from digging into him, eyebrows rising as the only indication of his crushing worry. Jim did not look up, but unfurled his legs so he was slumped against the cold white walls, head on his chest, eyes half lidded mouth twitched downward.

"Jim what are you doing?"

Jim sighed and turned to face Spock, to the vulcans horror his captains eyes had begun to fill with tears and again a single fat tear rolled down his cheek

"I couldn't make it, I tired to go back to her. But I couldn't do it"

Spock closed his eyes for a moment.

"Jim, you are too weak, you have not yet recovered. I am sure the enterprise and all her crew are capable and can cope without your presence for more than 24 hours"

Jim groaned and leant forward, his head resting against Spocks chest "Just take me back"

Spock nodded and slipped his hands under Jims armpits, lifting him to his feet. The shorter man leant heavily on him as they walked in tandem slowly making their way down the corridor and eventually back into bed, Spock being pulled down with his t'hy'la as they landed heavily on the springy mattress. Both men grunted a little and Spock rolled sideways pulling the blonde onto his chest.

"I never believed you would be so… affectionate"

Spock considered this comment for a moment "What _did_ you believe"

Jim looked up at him and grinned "Oh I don't know, all clinical and... you know kind of awkward"

Spock raised an eyebrow "And why did you come to that conclusion?"

Jim blushed "Well, no offence but that's how you are all the time"

Spock raised both eyebrows "Jim you would not have discovered this side to my personality simply because you would not have been in this circumstance before"

"Were you like this with Uhura?"

Spock looked away and Jim blushed even deeper "Sorry sorry I didn't mean to... I was just wondering. You don't have to answer that" his hands clenched at Spocks hip and the vulcan shivered.

"It is alright to be curious Jim, I must admit I did not often find the occasion to behave in this way"

Jim raised an eyebrow of his own and replaced his head on Spocks vulcan could've swore he saw something similar to a smug grin on the shorter mans face and he pulled his hands up, holding him tighter to his chest.

Jim bit his lip and glanced up once more "Spock, are you reading my mind?"

Spock titled his head raising an eyebrow "No Jim"

The man blushed and shifted a little "But I thought every time somebody touches you…you can uh.. do it"

Spock smiled "No Jim, I can place blocks in my mind which stop my emotions and thoughts from entering the minds of others and likewise"

Jim looked thoughtful and rubbed his hand over the top of Spocks thigh, flipping himself over so he too was staring up at the ceiling. "What dos it feel like… to you know read my mind"

Spock smiled into his lover's hair "Every mind is a different landscape, a different world. Your mind is bright, warm. _Welcoming_"

Spock looked down, only now noticing how strong his hands held Jim, how the warmth had settled in his chest. Jim grinned "Thanks…I guess."

He shook his head and the strong citrus smell of his hair wafted into Spocks face, the vulcan inhaling deeply. They were silent for a long moment, Jim occasionally opening his mouth as though about to speak, but he thought better of it each time.

Finally Spock shifted, sitting up a little bit more "Is there something you wish to ask me?"

Jim blushed and Spock grinned "Well… I was just thinking if you _had_ read my mind… would I know that you did it"

Spock licked his lips "Well Jim, if I touch someone without my mental blocks I generally receive flashes of their emotions" Jim blushed and shifted "And they may feel some of mine"

"Oh… so I guess I would know then"

It was Spocks turn to shift about "Not necessarily"

Jim laughed and turned looking up into the vulcans deep brown eyes "So you have read my mind"

Spock licked his lips and glanced to the doorway "Jim do you recall us dancing together on Narcissum"

Jim frowned for a second a wild grin gracing his features "Yeah…"

"Do you recall that you felt warmer than you would expect, and I explained that my natural body heat is higher than yours and that the exertion may also explain the warmth you felt"

Jim just stared at him and Spocks mouth twitched in a nervous smile.

"That was my love for you, I had neglected my blocks and by the time I realised you had already experienced it"

Jim was just staring up at him, eyes wide lips drawn in a 'o' shape. For a moment the two men stared at each other before Jim scrambled up and kissed Spock soundly on the lips, hands reaching out and grasped the taller man by the head. He pulled away and grinned, Spocks surprised face causing him to chuckle.

"Sorry, Its just.. it felt so good and strong and… it was nice and I am kind of finding it hard to grasp that you can love me"

Spock smiled "I too find it difficult to reconcile your feelings towards me"

Jim smiled and pecked Spock on the lips again, now straddling his waist hands place don his chest "I love you"

Spock shivered, the strength of the words stirring the desire to submerge himself in Jims mind once more. To be surrounded by his emotions and his bright overpowering mind.

"I love you too t'hy'la"

Suddenly McCoy burst through the door, skidding on his heels and stopping at the foot of the bed his eyes wild chest heaving.

"Jim! Guess who I just saw in the lobby!" he stopped disappointment on his face hands on hips.

"Christ Jim, couldn't wait could you"

Jim blushed and slowly removed himself from Spocks lap, sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed, not looking at either man.

Spock glared at the doctor but slid quickly off the bed and stood respectively at the side, hands behind his back all emotion wiped from his face. Jim glanced up at him and sighed, frowning at his friend.

"I'm bored! I'm stuck in this stupid place because of you, Spock was just…comforting me"

Spock glanced at him and Jim flashed him a smile, Spocks insides wriggled and he hid the smile that fought to rise in answer. McCoy put a hand to his face shaking his head.

"That's not important right now. Right now you need to get the hell out of here. I just saw admiral pike in the lobby and you'd never guess who he brought with him to see little ol' you"

Jim just stared at him for a moment before going unusually pale.

Spock turned to him, concern flooding his chest "Jim are you alright"

He turned to Spock eyes wild "Spock trust me, you _have_ to get me out of here"

The vulcans muscles instantly tensed and he did not question his captain further, simply walking quickly around the bed and spreading his hand across Jims back supporting him as they half walked half limped from the room, Jims panic evident on his face as they rushed down the hallway. Suddenly the captain glanced back over his shoulder and yelped, lurching sideways and wrenching a nearby door open.

He turned to Spock and pushed him hard against the chest, both men crashing into a wall in what seemed to be a closet. Spock glanced around himself as Jim pulled the door closed behind them, peering out between a crack in the door; the walls were lined with white plastic shelves and piles of carefully folded bedding.

Spock waited patiently for Jims heavy breathing to slow down, before reaching out and turning him manually, searching through the gloom for his eyes. Spock pulled the captain closer to him "Jim, what is wrong?"

Jims eyes met Spock and he sighed, some of the tension leaving his body "Spock, there is only one person that would come here with Pike to see me"

The vulcan just watched Jims vibrant eyes dart around them and they shifted around, the air was stuffy and warm in here and they were pressed up close to each other, Jims back against the door, Spocks against the laden shelves.

"Who Jim?"

The captain sighed and leant his head against Spocks chest "My _mother_"

His whisper was hoarse and his shoulder slumped defeated. Spock placed a hand on the back of his head "Jim, I do not understand"

A sigh graced his chest, Jims breath cold "My mother is…not…she doesn't really care Spock. All I am is a ghost to her, except when she can find something to be angry about"

Spock felt the stab of sadness in his heart as it flickered across Jims face and he reached out pulling the man closer engulfing him in his heat. The man began to mumble against his chest and Spock released him a little, raising his eyebrows "Jim, I am sure your mother cares for you. If this is untrue then why would she come here, to see you?"

Jim laughed bitterly "Because she feels like she should, like she has to"

Spock frowned "I do not understand how that can be true"

Jim smiled tilting his head "Well of course not. You care for everybody"

Spock frowned and Jim chuckled "Don't make that face, you do! Its just I'm the only one who can see it"

Spock relaxed a little and the two men moved against each other, Jims hands reaching out past Spocks ears and supporting him against the wall, the vulcans hands sliding down and holding him by the hips.

"It sucks, I wish I had one of those mums who actually cared you know, or one I could introduce you to"

Spock frowned "Why would I not be able to meet your mother?"

He titled his head, confusion evident in his eyes and Jims smile dimmed, chest now brushing against Spocks.

"She is kind of…xenophobic because of the whole…dad died in space and she kind of lost trust in the whole idea. That and when I tried to tell her I am bisexual she threw me out of the house for a month and didn't talk to me, even now if I even look at another dude in her presence she starts on her being gay is evil rant"

Jims face was pinched in his grief and Spock leant down quickly, pressing his lips softly to Jims jaw, moving slowly up until he could suck on the plump bottom lip of his lover, a quiet moan escaping the blonde mouth. Spock pulled back slightly, resting his forehead against Jims

"Jim, if your mother cannot see the beautiful brilliant and impressive man that all others can see then she is…illogical" Spock whispered.

Jim groaned and dropped his hands to Spocks face, gripping him tightly by the sides of his head as he crashed their mouths together, tongues battling hips crashing together. Both men groaned as Spock pulled them closer still and Jim chuckled into the kiss, one hand sliding down Spocks back and into the back of his black uniform trousers, cupping him and pushing him closer. Spock grunted his own hands moving down and skimming under Jims tee palms burning against his cool skin.

Suddenly the shelf behind Spock moved and he stepped forward, Jims opened his eyes in shock and gripped Spock tight as the stumbled backwards, slamming out of the door and landing heavily on the floor.

The vulcan lifted himself up on his hands and looked down at his partner, frowning when he saw the fear on his face. Jim was looking up past his shoulder and to the three figures watching the two men.

Jim coughed weakly "Hello mother"


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: okay guys, lots of fluff/talking going on again. And a twist!_

Spock stared up at the surprised face of Jim's mother. She was tall and wiry, long elegant face framed by rich dark blonde hair tied tightly in a knot at the base of her skull, sloping pointed nose and plump red lips. She was beautiful, the beauty marred by her eyes which seemed her only visible relation to Jim, almost as bright shining blue but cold as the darkest corner of space.

Spock twitched slightly and Jim just stared as the regal woman looked down on them her eyes narrowing slightly and Spock could smell the fear in Jim, could almost feel it.

Pike spoke up "Doctor, why don't we show Winona where Jim's room is. Spock why don't you help Jim up and bring him back with us?" he raised a single eyebrow before turning quickly, the wheels of his chair squeaking on the polished floor.

McCoy glanced down at Jim, pity evident on his face as he strained to smile at Jims mother, gesturing down the hall in an effort to herd the frightful woman away. She turned her frozen eyes on him as she spun around causing the doctors fake smile to fade and he made a weak thumbs up at Jim as she glided down the hall.

Suddenly they were alone.

Jim visibly relaxed and looked up at the vulcan, his face pinched. Spock looked down and rearranged himself so that he was straddling the captain.

"Jim?"

"Spock listen to me, anything she says…_anything_. Don't take it to heart and remember that I love you just as you are._ Because_ of who you are."

Spock smiled slightly and leant down brushing his lips against his t'hy'la's.

"As I love you."

Jim sighed and sat up on his elbows as the commander lifted himself off of his hips standing quickly. He reached out grasping Jim by the wrists and pulling him to his feet, a puff of air leaving him in his surprise when the blonde suddenly rushed forward and embraced him, strong hands clenching on his sides, face buried in the crook of his neck. The vulcan sighed and waited to be released hands resting on his hips, Jims arms tightening a fraction.

"Sorry."

The captain turned and holding onto his lovers arm for support they began to walk towards the sleek doors, his hand slipping as they moved and landing just on the bare skin of Spocks wrist.

The vulcan gasped in surprise when a strong image burst into his head. He turned to the shorter man as they halted outside of the closed doors to his room, his eyebrows raising.

Jim blushed "You saw that huh?"

Spock titled his head in the affirmative and Jim looked away a small smile rising in the corner of his mouth.

"I was just… things between us have gone so fast I mean you're already meeting my mother! And on earth that's kind of a big deal. I'm not too clear on the whole vulcan dating thing but I want to…"

Spock reached out his hand touching two fingers to Jims which silenced the babbling man.

"Jim I find the image you presented to be intriguing. I would enjoy partaking in such actions."

Jim grinned "Then it's a date"

Spock tilted his head "Is that the correct term Jim?"

The captain chuckled leaning heavily on his first officer and the vulcan smiled too although he did not understand where the humour lay.

As the captains giggles died down his face turned serious and Spock watched him take a deep breath his shoulder squaring as the doors slide open he heard a distinct whisper from his left.

"_Once more into the storm._"

The vulcan quickly expelled the warmth that had filled his chest during his conversation with his t'hy'la, returning to his usual state of emotionless logic. However the image Jim had implanted was much harder to shift and so Spock simply stored it in the back of his mind, for future meditation.

The doctor and admiral were stood to the left of the bed, their quiet conversation interrupted by the couples return. Jim's mother was seated in the white plastic chair, her eyes trained on the outside world.

"Ah, commander when you are done here I would like to have a word with you."

Pike moved forward an eyebrow raised, smirk in place. Spock nodded and helped Jim to the bed glancing over him to the cold stare trained on his face.

He looked down at the captain who gestured with his eyes that Spock could go and the vulcan gently pressed a finger to the captains wrist as he turned to leave.

"Excuse me, but I would like an explanation." Her voice was just as loud and confident as her sons, but carried an air of menace that was thankfully lacking in Jims own baritone.

Spock turned and placed his hands behind his back, carefully controlling the impulse to snap at the woman.

"An explanation?"

Her eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms "Are those bizarre ears of yours defective? I would like to know_ why _you were accosting my son. "

Jim just stared in shock and the science officer steeled himself, glancing at his t'hy'la he watched as Jim mouthed the words '_Don't tell her'_.

He felt anger rising in his chest and sadness. Was Jim ashamed of him? Of their new found relationship? Narrowing his own eyes he looked back to the woman, her disgust so clearly written on her face Spock felt sick with it.

"As I assume you are aware the captain has an extreme dislike of hospitals and medical bays. I had come to his room to attend to a small number of his duties and discovered he had absconded. I know that in his weakened condition he would not last long without medical aid and so I set out to find him. Due to my _superior_ hearing I heard the captains heart beat through the cupboard door where he had chosen to hide. You came across us as I was struggling to bring him back here"

There was a dead silence and Jim stared at him, confusion in his eyes. Spock merely coldly regarded him bowing his head slightly.

"If you will excuse me captain the admiral wishes to speak with me."

Jim crossed his arms and nodded once, hurt flickering in his eyes.

"You are relieved commander."

Spock turned back to Kirks mother. "Excuse me Mrs. Kirk."

The vulcan turned away and walked crisply out of the room, Pike following him out a minute later, the shrill voice of Jims mother piping up as they walked away.

Spock walked quickly to keep up with the admirals chair as they exited through the now familiar doors and into the lift, falling three floors and out again.

Spock followed Pike diligently as he was led through a large set of glass doors and out into what appeared to be the ground floor of the gardens. The vulcan glanced around, awe building in him.

The gardens were vast, a waterfall falling from far above them and crashing down into a deep emerald pool, the glistening green trails of the many streams and the quiet peaceful flow of the river zigzagged off through the red trunks of the trees and his sensitive hearing picked up on the roaring water as it dropped off of the ledge far to his left, dropping down to what Spock assumed was more gardens. The strange birds fluttered around them, their beautiful song filling the air. The orange grass smelt sweet and crunched under his feet.

Spock turned to Pike and placed his hands behind his back, noting the measured stare he was receiving.

"Spock, as your commanding officer-"

Spock felt panic rise in his stomach and he interrupted his former captain "Admiral Pike, before you speak I must remind you that there are no current rules or regulations that imply that Jim and I are doing anything wrong."

Pikes serious expression broke and he grinned chuckling lightly, a hand reaching out and patting Spock lightly on the forearm twice.

"Spock, I was going to say that as your commanding officer I must thank both you, the doctor and Jim for your sterling work on Narcissum. A treaty has been formed and they are in the beginning stages of what Starfleet hopes will be an advantageous alliance."

Spock to his credit blushed lightly, relaxing slightly in the presence of his old friend.

"I must apologise Christopher. I was under the impression you were about to -"

A hand was raised and Spock fell silent as Pike waved the apology away, his hand curling in the air and finger pointed directly at the vulcan.

"_However_, as your friend Spock I am a bit upset I wasn't informed about you two and had to find out from doctor McCoy."

His eyebrows were knotted in what appeared to be annoyance and yet his lips were curled in a warm smile. Spock carefully studied his face, concluding that although somewhat annoyed he wasn't actually angry in any sense. Relief washed the panic away and Spock ducked his head resolving to talk to McCoy later about his discretion.

"It is a rather new development; we have not yet discussed who would be required to know."

Christopher looked up at him warmth and humour still twinkling in his eyes.

"I am happy you finally did something about it Spock."

The vulcan frowned "I take it you knew of my feelings towards Jim before McCoy revealed them?"

He tilted his head as Pike chuckled deeply shaking his head in mirth, it was strange how perceptive humans seemed to be.

"Spock, there has been a pretty impressive pool for when you two were finally going to get it together. If you had just waited another year I could have made a tidy profit."

The vulcan's eyebrows twitched in a smile and he crossed his arms.

"Then I apologise admiral."

The two men shared a comfortable silence before Pike turned and began to leave, Spock following him closely.

"Perhaps we should go rescue Jim from his mother."

Spock frowned "What do you know of Mrs. Kirk?"

Pikes eyebrows twitched and he grinned "Worried about meeting the parents are we Spock?"

The vulcan titled his head "What exactly is the implication of 'meeting the parents' as you say?"

The admiral looked up at him humour on his brow.

"It is generally quite a late stage in a relationship, possibly leading to a proposal."

Spocks mind went into overdrive and he considered the image Jim had left him. Would he know expect Spock to propose to him? Was Spock ready to do such a thing? The vulcan considered his feelings and began burying the strange desire rising in his chest before he could study it properly.

"Are you all right?"

Pike had stopped just outside of Jims door and in his distraction Spock had carried on walking.

He paused and tuned back "I am fine Christopher"

"Are you sure? You look a little pale"

"No admiral I am quite sure"

Spocks insides squirmed and he fought back the urge to run. Pike gestured with his hand for Spock to go first and he only hesitated for a second, hoping his face remained emotionless as he entered the room.

"Captain, Mrs. Kirk."

Spock stood in his familiar pose his greeting going unnoticed as Jims mother spoke loudly over him.

"Are you courting James?"

The vulcans head whipped round and he stared at his t'hy'la. Jim blushed deep red and his eyes flickered to Spock, his mother and back again.

"I...I"

She tutted shaking her head "James if you do not find a good human wife soon then she may be unable to bare your children."

Jim spluttered "No! No I _am_…courting someone."

Spock felt confused and sighed internally when he recognised the expression on Jims face. It was the same expression Jim had worn when he had called Spock his first on Narcissum. Regret fear and embarrassment. It was clear the captain had not wanted to divulge this information.

Jims mother however smiled, her teeth glinting as she bared them at the vulcan.

"Oh how _lovely_. I'd like to meet the woman… a Christian of course. Excellent excellent"

Jim said nothing he just stared down at his sheets, face flushed.

Spock titled his head "Christian? Are you referring to the terran religion Christianity?"

Kirks mothers head snapped up and she narrowed her eyes "And what would _you_ know about God?"

Spock stepped forward and Jim twitched his azure eyes trained on his first officer, disbelief on his face.

"I have been reading the collective works of Father Jack and I find his theories quite fascinating."

She snorted "Huh, see, it doesn't know anything. It merely read a few articles and believes it _understands_ God."

She looked down her nose at the vulcan before turning back to her son who was now staring at her his face turning considerably redder and redder.

"Christopher, I will be continuing my journey aboard the enterprise."

Pikes face showed his shock for a mere second and he smiled at her "Of course Winona, come with me and I will make the necessary preparations."

He frowned a little at Jim before looking to Spock.

"I will give your navigator the correct bearings when Jim checks out tomorrow, and I will fill you and the captain in later once he has had a chance to rest."

He winked at the vulcan as he followed Winona out of the door, clearly indicating he was giving them time to talk. Spock nodded almost imperceptibly his impressive mind whirring with all that had been said and the implication that Jim's mother would be spending time aboard his captains beloved ship.

When the sounds of Pikes chair and Winonas footsteps had faded Spock turned the bed and regarded his t'hy'la for a long moment. Jim was flushed, his eyes wide hands shaking.

The vulcan felt a tug somewhere around his stomach and he stepped forward hand on Jims arm.

"Jim?"

The captain made no move to speak and Spock shook his arm speaking softly "T'hy'la?"

Jim finally met his eyes and his face crumpled "I'm so _sorry_ Spock, I don't know what you must think of me. I just…this… it's so new and I was… she would kill me and I couldn't bare the way she was looking at you. I just thought it would be better for you if she didn't…"

Spock sighed and pulled Jim up to his chest in an embrace.

As the shorter man slumped into him, arms reaching up and around his neck and pulling him closer Spock considered how strange it was that this simple gesture seemed to repair much of a humans emotional problems and how he had become so much better at it.

Pulling back he made sure to maintain eye contact "Illogical that a man who is widely known for being fearless, would be afraid of his own mother."

Jim titled his head and sighed "I know pathetic isn't it."

Spock frowned "I did not say that Jim."

The captain bit his lip and glanced at the door before pulling the vulcan by the arms towards him so that he fell and lay awkwardly on the edge of the bed. Spock raised an eyebrow and shifted himself around so they were lying side by side.

They lay in silence for a few moments before Jim leant forward and almost desperately attached himself to the taller man, kissing his jaw.

Spock relaxed fully and spoke into the blondes' fluffy hair "Your mother will be joining us abroad Jim. She will undoubtedly wish to meet the woman you are courting."

Jim looked up and frowned "_Damn_… what am I going to do?"

Spock raised an eyebrow "I suggest we find a female crew member who would be willing to act as your partner for the remainder of your mothers trip."

Jims shoulder slumped "Oh."

Spock titled his head "This plan upsets you?"

"I just… I was kind of looking forward to coming out the crew. I don't like hiding things from them plus it would've meant we could apply for shared quarters."

Spock raised an eyebrow "Shared quarters? You informed me you wished to take our relationship slowly?"

Jim grinned "Well... I've slept in a bed with _Bones_ for gods sake, unless…that's too much too quickly for you?"

Spocks eyebrows flew to his hairline and he licked his lips "You have shared a bed with doctor McCoy?"

Jim blushed "Spock, it wasn't like that! It was at the academy…I accidently set my bed alight and I couldn't sleep in it for like a week. So I shared with Bones."

Spock shifted a little, jealousy spreading through his stomach, stinging. "I see… and you do not find the doctor attractive? Or hold any romantic feelings for him?"

Jim gaped at Spock "God no! He is like my brother!"

They were silent for a long moment and the jealousy faded a little. "Why? Do _you_ think he is attractive?"

Jim sounded incredulous and Spock considered the question. Jim took this as an affirmative and sat up glaring down at Spock.

"Oh my god, **please** tell me you don't!"

Spock smiled remembering his conversation with the doctor on Narcissum "Jim I was merely considering the question. I do not hold any romantic feelings toward the doctor in any sense."

Jim relaxed resting his forehead on Spocks chest letting out a deep breath "Thank god, I had horrible visions of you leaving me for Bones then."

Spock tilted his head "Illogical."

Jim chuckled and flipped over crawling over Spocks lap until he was once again straddling the commander. The vulcan felt warmth rising in his chest and smiled, he greatly enjoyed the physical comfort of having Jim so close. Although it went against his vulcan nature, Spock relished contact and found himself pleased than Jim too seemed to enjoy their interactions.

Jim grinned and leant his forehead against Spocks, hands sliding down the vulcans arm and lifting his wrist, carefully studying his palm and fingers.

Spock watched him, breathing and heart rate picking up slightly when the blonde blew a stream of cool air across his palm. He sucked in a breath as Jims finger pressed lightly to the pad of his thumb, slowly rubbing in a tight circle before repeating the move on each finger.

"Do you like that?"

Spock just nodded his pupils growing by the second as the shorter man grinned devilishly and brought Spocks hand to his face, eyes locked onto the deep brown of his partners as his tongue dated out and licked the pad of his thumb. Spock gasped and his eyes slid shut as Jims tongue moved from finger to finger biting down lightly on the very last one.

Spock hissed and pulled his hand from Jims grasp, his voice wavered as he spoke.

"I must remind you again captain, you wished to go _slowly._"

Jim chuckled "It's Jim."

Spock opened his eyes and stared at the beautiful humour filled eyes of his lover.

"_Jim._"

Jim bit his lip and leant forward softly pecking the vulcan on the lips before rolling back over and lying next to him hand just inches from Spocks.

"Sorry… I was just curious"

Spock waited for his heart beat to return to normal before pressing two of his fingers to the back of Jim's hand, making sure he was projecting his love, trust and passion into the touch.

Jim gasped and pulled his hand away, rubbing his own fingers over the spot where Spock fingers had been. He gazed sideways as his first and smiled, eyes wide with wonder.

"**Wow**"

Spock smiled back and raised an eyebrow when Jim yawned starching his arms.

"You should rest t'hy'la."

Jim looked at him sleepily "Mmm…stay with me?"

Spocks eyebrows twitched and he nodded. The captain smiled and ran his hand down the commander's arm, clenching slightly at the wrist before his closed his eyes.

The vulcan waited for Jims breathing to slow and hand to relax before he carefully extracted himself from his side. Slipping off of the bed eyes flickering of their own accord back to his lover a smile sparkling in his eyes as he watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest.

He silently rolled his trousers to the knee and knelt down, preparing himself for mediation. He had much to review and concluded he had at least two hours before Admiral Pikes return.

Sighing he relaxed into the familiar pose, slowly removing the various blocks in his mind assessing each emotion and thought before discarding them. He grinned internally when the image Jim had placed in his mind flooded his consciousness, bright colours, the strong smells and twinkling lights setting him at ease.

Spock looked closely at the image; he and Jim sat at a small round table, its rustic iron frame covered by a square of red cloth. A single red flower Spock recognise as a rose sat in a simple glass vase at the centre.

Jim was dressed in a pair of dark coloured trouser the vulcan remembered were called 'jeans' and a white t-shirt that clung to his muscles. The commander licked his lips his mind focussing on Jim, barely regarding his own image clad in black, the captains strong scent filled his nose and he breathed it in greedily.

He smelt of soft cotton and warm earth and it was intoxicating.

Jim was talking, his gestures animated lips curled in a wide smile as he spoke, the vulcans attention rapt as they stared across at each other in the dim lights, their conversation falling quiet, expressions softening. Spock watched as Jim toasted to him and they drank together, smiling as their fingers brushed on the table top.

Spock sighed and pulled himself back from the image, slowly returning to consciousness.

When he opened his eyes Pike was already there, chatting with Jim who had awoken and was gesturing in a way that seemed familiar. The vulcan allowed his mind to clear and raised an eyebrow when Jims words struck him.

"And then they were like, oh can you dance again for us? And I was like oh damn what am I going to do! I barely made it through the first time without jumping him. So we go and dance and my mind is like _whoa!-"_

"Jim?"

Spock stood and the two men turned to look at him in unison, matching grins. "Hey, I didn't interrupt your meditation did I? I was just telling Chris about Narcissum."

Spock titled his head "I heard."

Jim blushed and scratched the back of his head with one hand.

"You may continue. I am interested to hear of the events from your point of view."

Jim coughed sheepishly and turned an even deeper shade of red. Christopher laughed clapping him on the shoulder.

"You can tell me later."

Jim nodded and glanced at Spock before leaning towards the admiral "So… why is my mother coming with me?"

Pike sighed and crossed his arms "Well, she is going to starbase 15 to meet up with some higher up in the church. Something to do with her taking a position at one of his churches."

Jims face fell "Starbase 15? But that's a _week_ away."

Pike sighed "Sorry Jim, but I don't have a choice, she is refusing to carry on with the crew she was assigned."

Jim closed his eyes and Spock stepped forwards "Jim, it is illogical to be upset by this; you have waited for longer than a week before to reveal information to the crew therefore I am confident you can do it again."

The captains eyes opened and he stared up at his lover, lips downturned in sadness "Yeah, but you don't know her Spock. She will be on my ship with my crew and none of it will be good enough. She finds fault in everything I do Spock and I can't allow her to do the same to my crew, she will destroy their confidence given half a chance."

Spock walked quickly to his side and glanced at the admiral before grasping Jims bicep "Jim, the crew is stronger then you think. The presence of your mother will not affect them because _you_ trust them, _you_ believe in them and that is much more powerful than she could ever be."

Jim smiled weakly "Well I guess we will see. But you're forgetting, what about the girlfriend thing? What are my crew going to think if I start asking them out!"

Spock stepped back and let his eyes light up, he had formed an idea.

"I believe there is only one answer to that captain"


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Okay guys, a happy little chappy here. I was clearly in a very fluffy mood. A major enormous thanks to everyone who has reviewed, alerted and favourited. I love you all, honest._

"I'm really flattered you care so much, but stop hovering."

Jim waved his hand at the vulcan who was walking so close to his side he could hear his heartbeat its fast rhythmic pattern comforting. Spock frowned and took a step back making sure to stay at the closest possible distance without annoying Jim.

"I am physically incapable of hovering Jim."

The captain just chuckled stopping at the doors to the lift, putting a finger to his lips.

"Spock love, how exactly do we get to the canteen?"

Spock raised an eyebrow and grasped his lover gently by the elbow pulling him in to the lift. He looked down at the ill man his eyes roaming up and down the jean clad legs and black uniform tee shirt he had helped him into, his freshly washed hair fluffy and sticking straight up from his head.

The vulcan smiled, contentment and love filling him up, he could feel its warmth in his mind. Jim glanced up at him, their eyes catching, the captain smiled in answer, his eyebrows knotted in confusion.

"What?"

Spock did not answer he just looked away as the doors opened pulling Jim across the lobby and into the other black door. He waited anticipation balled in his chest and smiled when Jim gasped stopping in his tracks, hands reaching out and gripping his lover by the arm, his amazement obvious and satisfying.

"_Wow"_

He sounded breathless and Spock stared at him, relaxing when he noticed the wonder on his face, a wide smile forming on his lips.

"It's beautiful."

Spock titled his head "It is."

Jim turned to him and licked his lips "Come on, I want to see more."

It was the vulcans turn to be pulled along as his lover moved slowly down the bridge, eyes wide mouth hanging open as he gazed around them laughing in delight as an enormous bird floated elegantly over his head.

Spock chuckled with him and Jim grinned at the noise, a strange expression in his eyes.

"I doubt I'll ever get used to _that._"

Spock raised an eyebrow and the captain licked his lips again eyes scrutinising the taller man for a second "But I **would** like to hear it more often…among other things."

His grin turned into something less innocent and Spock felt lust stirring in his gut, he glanced around the empty bridge before taking two quick steps forward surprising the captain.

It gave him the upper hand for just a minute, enough time for him to grasp his t'hy'la by the waist and press his lips to Jims neck, the captain grunted and pulled lightly on his hair crashing their lips together. Their hips crashed together and Jim clutched him tightly only pulling back when he ran out of air.

The shorter man placed his hands on the rope behind him and looked up panting, his eyes were wide and Spock reasoned that they could not have grown in the last couple of minutes, nor could he have somehow resaturated his eyes to appear a brighter clearer shade of blue.

The vulcan sucked in a breath as his heart pounded and lungs constricted, his t'hy'la was beautiful. His hand reached out slowing just before it crashed into Jims psi points, and he stopped himself closing his eyes in a effort to regain some control.

He did not open them when Jim spoke "Spock, what's wrong?"

A thrill ran through him at the ragged lust filled voice his t'hy'la was using.

"I am… conflicted. I wish to…to meld with you but it is too soon, you wished to go slowly and I cannot invade your mind again. Not without my control."

He heard Jims breathing slow and suddenly strong arms encased him, comforting heartbeat thudding against his chest, fingers digging into his back, freshly washed hair up his nose. Spock sniffed and relaxed at the familiar scent.

He opened his eyes and wrapped his own arms around Jims shoulders. "It's alright Spock."

The captain looked up at him trust and faith in his eyes, a pleasant smile on his beautiful face. Spock pulled back and regained his familiar pose, trying in vain to clear his mind.

"Come Jim, we shouldn't take too long."

Jim titled his head crossing his arms "Fine."

He strutted past his lover stumbling a little. Spock rushed forward and placed a steadying hand on his elbow "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, just got a bit dizzy there for a second."

Spock frowned "I can do this alone Jim."

Jim frowned "Bones said that the more I get up and walk around the more likely it is I can be discharged tomorrow. Spock, I haven't seen my ship for _days_."

His eyes were set in determination and the vulcan raised an eyebrow, but he did not relent. Sighing the taller man let go of his lovers elbow and they began to walk quickly, Jims eyes still wandering around the amazing landscape around them.

The vulcan mind buzzed with how much love Jim had for his ship, similar to the common terran love for other modes of transport such as cars and motorbikes. It was strange phenomenon and Spock though for a brief second whether or not he should be jealous of Jims emotions but concluded this was a illogical idea and discarded it.

He heard the distinct rumble of the captain's stomach as they entered, the strong scent of spices and warm baking filling the air. He looked to his side and gently pushed Jim towards to queue, pulling a tray from the neat pile at the end of the counter and placing a small bowl of salad next to Jim's large slice of pie and bowl of thick chocolate ice-cream.

Jim was licking his lips and biting the skin of his thumb constantly; the vulcan couldn't bare it any longer, every bite digging a little more into his previously impervious nerves and he reached out pushing his hand down, passing the tray to him.

"Sorry, I'm just starving!"

Spock titled his head but said nothing and together they turned, staring out across the canteen.

Spock spotted Nyota instantly, she was sat alone at a table in the far corner, her head whipping round and surveying the room. Her eyes locked onto Spocks and he nodded as she waved them over.

Jim looked up at Spock but said nothing as he was lead across to her, slipping into his seat his eyes trained on the grinning woman as she greeted her ex, hand on his arm.

She turned to him and her eyes narrowed. "Now you listen to me _captain_, if you hurt Spock in anyway I will, and this is a promise, I will find you and hurt you. Okay?"

Spock did not react, he was used to Nyotas protectiveness and he looked impassively at Jims shocked face, his mouth hanging open. After a second he recovered and raised his hands in surrender.

"Trust me lieutenant, if I ever hurt Spock I will be the first one lining up to do some damage, although I don't remember confirming anything."

Her expression changed instantly and she grinned at him "It was pretty obvious by the way Spock was looking at you, that and he asked Sulu what flowers to get you."

"He did?" Spock looked away as Jim glanced at him a smug grin forming on his face "well tell Mr. Sulu I am very grateful."

Jim ate his pie in silence as Spock and Nyota talked settling into a familiar rhythm, the vulcan waited for Jim to finish his meal before broaching the subject of his mother.

"Nyota, Jim and I are involved in a dilemma and we require some assistance in the matter."

Jim looked a bit sheepish and leant on his elbows at the table "Basically we want you to be my girlfriend."

Her chin dropped as the captain smiled sweetly at her batting his eyelashes hands under his chin. She turned to Spock searching his face, "What the hell!"

"It is only for a brief period Nyota, Jims mother is a devout Christian and does not believe in homosexual relationships. Whilst conversing with the captain she concluded that he was courting a young woman and we decided that this was a lie that could prove to make her stay abroad the Enterprise much more peaceful."

She closed her mouth and scrutinised Jim, her shoulders squared head tilting. "You promise to keep your hands to yourself, and not to do anything stupid to embarrass me and you have to tell the crew. I am not going down at the woman who split up you two."

Jim grinned widely and taking her delicate hand in his he pumped it twice "You have a deal."

Spock allowed his eyes to light up and he reached out across the table, his t'hy'las hand instinctively moving out to meet it. Nyota smirked and raised an eyebrow "Christ, could you two be anymore adorable?"

Spock turned to her confused and titled his head she just laughed. Jim blushed deeply but continued to grin "Uhura, can you set up a meeting for the crew when I get back? I want to clear the air on why my mother is going to be on board and about Spock and me and I want to know what kind of party you have planned."

His eyes were alight with excitement, and the lieutenant put her hands on the table practically buzzing with it.

"Oh you will be so pleased you will want to kiss me."

Spock turned his head and raising an eyebrow at Jim he crossed his arms feigning anger until the captain and Nyota chuckled. He felt no jealousy, he had concluded that it was merely a joke and so he dispelled the image from his mind.

Jims grin dimmed a little and his eyes glinted with anxiety "This isn't a little bit weird for you is it?" he gestured between him and Uhura, and Spock considered the question.

"I admit the situation is unusual."

Jim tilted his head "And your okay with it right?"

"Affirmative."

"Good, I don't want it to seem like I'm jumping at the chance, far from it."

"Hey! And what exactly is wrong with me?"

Jim blushed and Spock raised an eyebrow "Perhaps you should be apologising Jim."

The captain grinned weakly and began sweet talking the lieutenant, offering her some of his ice cream and complimenting her voice, hair, eyes and anything else he could think of. He was saved in the end by Uhuras communicator that whistled and she raised a finger to silence him, eyes on the mans sad pout as she answered.

"This is Uhura"

She was silent whilst the voice on the other end spoke for a few minutes, making noncommittal noises throughout.

"I'll be right there."

She snapped it closed and stood patting Jim on the head.

"It's alright, you are forgiven."

Jim beamed at her "I knew you couldn't stay mad at me. I'll see you on board honey."

She glared at him "I'm making an amendment, _no_ pet names"

"Aww sugarcakes, why not?"

She just ignored him turning to Spock "I'll see you later. "

Spock nodded and she leant down kissing him softly on the cheek before striding away purposefully. When the vulcan turned back to the table, Jim was already engrossed in his ice cream uttering soft moans and indecent groans licking the thick creamy chocolate from his lips his eyes closed in pleasure.

Spock blushed and purposefully looked away, jumping when a cool finger touched the top of his hand. Jim was looking at him strangely "Try this, it's delicious."

He looked down in surprise to see a silver spoon topped in a large lump of the cool pudding, Jims insistent smile oddly intense. "I would rather not Jim"

The captain pouted and wiggled the spoon under Spocks nose, it's scent sending electric thrill though his brain.

"Why not? Pleaseee. _For me?_"

It was the science officers turn to have the full force of a pleading wheedling Jim aimed at him and he licked his lips glancing from the spoon to the tiny droplet of ice cream still on the captains plump lips.

"Chocolate has a similar affect on vulcans as alcohol does to your species Jim."

The captain showed no sign that this was news to him and Spock reasoned he must've actually re-read the xenobilogy text and that perhaps this effect was his intention.

The spoon was waved again and he found himself unable to resist taking it quickly into his mouth eyes closing as the intense sweetness flooded his mouth making his mind giddy for a second, he let out a quiet moan and opened his eyes slowly to find Jim just gaping at him skin flushed pupils wide.

"Jim?" he was speaking softly and the captain just gurgled, shaking himself before grinning at the taller man.

Spock blushed a little and glanced around them as Jims hand slid across the table and using a thumb and forefinger rubbed a tight circle over the top of his palm, dragging his fingers up Spocks as he pulled away.

The vulcan stood quickly his control quickly leaving him, "I shall wait for you in the gardens. "

He turned swiftly and strode from the room his breathing ragged.

It was here two hours later that McCoy found them, rolling his eyes when he came across them, Spock sat rigidly on a bench Jim lying lengthways his head in the vulcans lap arms raised in the air as he talked about the birds of earth.

"Jim, G'kil and I have been looking for you everywhere."

Jim turned his head and glared at the doctor, his hand dropping down. Spock looked up at exactly the same time his soft expression wiped efficiently from his face and McCoy crossed his arms at the scrutiny.

"Why?" Jim pouted.

"You need a physical if you want to get back to the ship tomorrow."

He let out a dramatic sigh lifting himself from his prone position and bouncing to his feet.

"I guess I'll see you later love."

Spock titled his head placing his hands on his lap. Jim sighed again, softer this time and the vulcan looked back up at him their eyes connecting for a moment and Spock understood.

"I believe there are numerous gardens on Starbase 15, populated by many of the species you have mentioned Jim."

Jim raised an eyebrow his pout breaking into a quiet smile "It's a date."

Spock looked back down and Jim turned striding past McCoy, pulling him from the quiet gardens.

"Okay so your heart, lungs brain kidneys and liver are all okay. Looks like you get to go home tomorrow."

Jim grinned though his gasps as he tried to calm his breathing, the exertion of running when he had been in bed for so long hitting him hard.

"Awesome" he whispers breathlessly and McCoy took pity on him guiding him to the bed and handing the captain a tall glass of water.

"It'll be great to get out of here."

G'kill smiled warmly at McCoy thrusting his hand out in what was clearly a unfamiliar gestures "I hope you can call me bones."

McCoy chuckled glancing at Jim before pumping the his hand twice "Of course I can. Thank you for all your help,_ bones_." He bowed politely and Jim stood bowing too.

"Thanks, you save my life."

G'kil bowed in response and left the room, his ethereal light glowing behind him.

The two friends were alone and McCoy crossed his arms, eyebrow raising, and suspicion on his face. Jim glanced up at him biting his lip the tension palatable.

McCoy groaned and placed a hand to his forehead "_Go on_."

Jim grinned widely "He loves me! He fucking loves **me**. I mean he _said_ it. For real and we are going on a date and he star dumping, planet humping, bloody well _loves_ me!"

Jim laughed bouncing on the bed and Bones smiled somewhat reluctantly, "Happy now?"

"I swear Bones, if you were me you would've exploded by now."

"I know I know. I swear, how long have you been waiting to burst my eardrums like that?"

Jim just laughed and stood hands on hips brilliant grin lighting up his entire face "Cheer up Bonesy, we are young, we're in our prime, I have Spock you have… **me.** We have the entire universe in front of us. Today is an unbelievable day to be alive."

Bones finally relented grinning too "Yeah yeah, sure it is."

The next morning Jim was awake even before his first officer, taking the extra time to pack his bags, dressing himself in Spock black undershirt a salacious smirk at himself in the mirror as he sniffed it.

He had showered quickly, scrubbing at his head trying to get his hair to dry flat, his face slightly paler than usual, and the remains of what must've been vibrant black bags under his eyes but a healthy glow still shimmering in him.

He grinned and strode into the guest room, chuckling maliciously as he watched the steady rise and fall of Spocks chest, his face as emotionless as it was in life as though he were a marble statue.

In just a second he had crossed the room on his tiptoes jumping on top of his first officer, yelping when the vulcan sprang to life pinning him to the floor in a split second. He panted heavily and Spock looked down at him, his surprise changing to confusion as he knelt next to his crumpled lover.

"Jim? Is there an emergency?"

Jim sat up on his elbows "Christ Spock, way to give me a heart attack and no, no emergency."

Spock frowned and placed a hand on his lover's chest checking for an irregular heart beta. It was raised for sure but not irregular.

"Your heart seems to be fine Jim."

The captain rolled his eyes slowly awkwardly getting to his feet, jumping a little in shock when he realised Spock was already standing quietly his eyes glittering with mirth.

"Look, I just wanted to have some time to ourselves before we go home and have to pretend this didn't happen."

He gestured between the tow of them his eyes crinkled slightly a sad twitch to his lips. Spock nodded and glanced at the door before pulling his captain into his arms, holding him gently his pleasantly cool skin soothing him though the thin fabric of his clothes, but it wasn't enough and he felt a pang in his chest.

A slightly baggy black shirt and long sleeves obscuring much of his own skin, long bed shorts covering him to the knee. He pulled back and looked down at Jims attire, his eyebrow twitching when he realised that it was _his_ t-shirt the captain had chosen to wear, familiar black uniform trousers and bare feet.

Jim watched him judge their clothing and waited, Spocks hands still on his arms holding him tightly.

"Love… no offence but what are you doing?"

Spock looked up at him eyes strangely intense "Please remove your shirt."

Jim chuckled tilting his head "What about going slowly?"

Spock did not reply he simply removed his hands from Jims arms and pulled his jumper over his head folding it neatly in one swift move. He bent down placed it on the floor and stood hands at his side, pale olive skin glowing in the dim lights.

Jim blushed deeply trying in vain to drag his eyes from the toned muscular torso, smooth skin emitting a faint citrus smell. Spock crossed his arm and Jim moaned a little watching his bare arms, "_Jim_."

The captain grinned widely and ripped his shirt over his head, pausing to carefully fold it and lay it neatly next to Spocks an odd smile on his face. He stood again and Spock sucked in a breath, faintly wondering whether he would ever grow tired or fail to be surprised by Jims beauty.

He stepped forward and pulled him tight again, relaxing at the skin to skin contact, the quiet thrum of his t'hy'la's heartbeat and pleasing cool wrapping him in a soothing cocoon. Jim smiled into his shoulder, pressing his lips to the bare skin of the vulcans shoulder "**Wow** you're hot."

Spock pulled back only slightly an eyebrow raised, Jim blushed "I meant… you know temperature wise… then again you _are_ a regulation babe."

Spock titled his head and Jim shuddered "I kinda felt that."

Spocks lips twitched "What did you feel?"

"It was like… confusion I think and something warm, really warm. Ooh I remember that… that's love isn't it."

He grinned up at his first officer and Spocks mostly emotionless face broke into a wide smile. He allowed some of his block to fall and his mind flooded with his love, care, loyalty, and calm, shivering as he felt the brush of Jims own answering love.

Just as powerful, just as strong.

Jim moaned and leant forwards on his tiptoes clutching the commander around the neck, lips brushing against his jaw. He pecked him lightly slowing moving up until he could place a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

Spock turned his head and kissed Jim deeply, the only sounds in the cool dimly lit room their intertwining heartbeats and the sound of their lips as they moved against each other.

The silence was broken by McCoy who strode into the room letting out a yell and turning on his heels he strode right back out again hand over his eyes.

"God damn! You could've put a hat on the doorknob or something!"

Jim chuckled and pecked Spock on the lips once again before grabbing his shirt and following his friend into the other room, leaning up against the door he crossed his arms, a smug grin on his face.

"There aren't any doorknobs."

McCoy turned on the spot pretending to wince when he realised Jim still hadn't replaced his shirt, "Oh god put a shirt on. Gross."

Spock appeared behind the captain, his face blank uniform fully in place, hair slick and shining, perfectly composed.

"Doctor McCoy, perhaps if you announced your arrival you would not witness events that you did not intend to."

McCoy just glared at him and Jim laughed his head tipping back.

His enthusiasm was obvious, wolfing down the breakfast Bones had brought him bouncing on his heels as McCoy completed the paperwork required to return both him and Spock back to service.

He was almost vibrating with his excitement as they reached the front desk and prepared to beam up, grinning brightly at his lover as the glowing orbs began to surround them.

As soon as his heels hit the floor of the transporter room he was off waving a hand at Bones as he left "See ya later Bones!"

He strode forward, half walking half running as he made his way to the bridge, Spock close at his heels. The crew grinned and greeted them as they passed Jim slowing only to reply and to shake the hand of a few.

They were fast approaching the bridge turning perfectly in time as the doors to the turbolift slid closed behind them. Jim grinning and bouncing on his heels pressing a quick vulcan kiss to his lover just before the doors slid open and he beamed, the room exploding into a cacophony of cheers and clapping.

Jim took two steps and bowed as they bridge crew welcomed him back. Spock walked out behind him and Uhura smiled waving at him as Jim greeted his crew, finally turning and staring at his seat.

He let out a joyous laugh and ran forward throwing himself into his captains chair wiggling and whispering to it. "Hey baby, did you miss me huh? You did, well I missed you yes I did. Who loves you I do I do."

He grinned and looked up at the crew who were watching him slightly bemused.

"Okay guys, back to work."

Spock raised his eyebrows a smile threatening to form on his lips and Jim chuckled, the crew joined in their raucous laughter silenced by his next command.

"Mr. Chekov course plotted to starbase 15?"

"Aye captain."

Jim smiled "Warp 5 then Mr. Sulu."

"Aye aye captain."


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: Okay so a little more drama in this one (: Hope you guys like it! R&R please 3_

Spock found he retained more control during his first shift back than he had retained in the past three months. He found he was able to fully concentrate again and concluded that the resolution of his feelings for the captain and their resulting relationship had quelled the unrest in his mind.

When the shift ended he waited patiently at the doors for Jim to finish and the others to leave, their excited chatter fading into the background as Jim stood hands wrapped around his middle staring out at the space in front of them.

The shorter man sighed and turned back to his lover, a pleasant smile on his face, crossing the room in a mere moment. "Uhura told me the bridge crew is meeting in the conference room in ten minutes."

Spock titled his head to indicate he understood and Jim sighed striding past him and into the turbolift, tugging lightly on his firsts arm. They stood in silence as it began to move, Jim was clearly nervous and Spock considered this before stopping the lift and turning to him.

"You need not be nervous t'hy'la."

Jim smiled at him eyes crinkling a little, arms crossed. He titled his head and stood for a long moment just looking up at the vulcan, his expressionless stare strangely comforting to the anxious captain.

"I know I just… what are they going to say? Are they going to be okay with us or… I don't even know how to say it… I_ am_ excited but I don't even get to you know, be as open as I want and it sucks. I just want everything to be good you know?"

Spock waited for Jim to finish pacing before stepping forward and placing a hand on his chin, pecking him lightly on the lips whilst using his other hand to start the lift again.

"It is illogical to worry Jim. They are your crew and our friends."

The captain chuckled and turned back squaring his shoulders, swagger back in place, grin blinding.

"Your right."

"Jim I would ask you not to inform doctor McCoy that I consider him a friend."

Jim just laughed patting a hand against his lovers arm as he strode ahead.

As they entered the board room the crew went silent, all eyes on the captain and commander, Spock standing just behind Jims elbow, his dark eyes moving from face to face, expressionless.

Jim grinned and put his hands on his hips "I bet you guys already know why I called you here."

They all glanced between themselves and nodded the tension humming in the air, Jims swagger faltered a little and he glanced at Spock, moving back a step to touch him on the forearm.

"Well, first things first I wanted…_we_ wanted to settle the score about my and Spocks relationship. I just want to say I hope that as my friends you can accept that we are dating and that it won't affect my command."

There was a heavy silence as the crew watched the two men share a meaningful glance and Kirk turned back frowning at the strange looks he was receiving.

"Now guys just because we are together, it doesn't mean that I don't love you anymore."

His frown broke into a grin and he laughed, the crew laughing with him until McCoy stuck his hands out over the table gesturing with his thumb and forefinger. Scotty grumbled and began pulling notes from his pocket, the other men around the table counting out their wagers and handing them over, grumbling under their breath.

Chekov looked down at his almost empty hand and pouted, he looked up at Sulu and fluttered his eyelashes.

"Hikaru? Can I borrow some money? I don't have enough. _Please_?"

Sulu merely rolled his eyes and handed double over to McCoy who was grinning, pulling his small pile of winnings towards him.

"You owe me."

Chekov grinned "Okay!"

Jim watched this with interest as Spock spoke quietly into his ear "I see that the doctor won the pool regarding our relationship captain."

Jim chuckled and leant on the table looking at Scotty who returned his gaze, eyes squinted in an almost fierce glare.

"Damn it Jim, couldn' ye wait for a little bit longer? Just two more months and _I'd_ be the winner."

Jim smiled titling his head sharing an amused glance with the first officer "Sorry Scotty, couldn't wait."

McCoy cackled loudly all eyes on the beaming doctor "Thanks Jim, you have made me a very _very_ rich man."

The captain glanced at his friend rolling his eyes before turning back to the Scotsman "Mr. Scott you should know better than to place a bet with Bones. You are sure to lose every time."

He held a hand to his face and whispered loudly winking an eye at the engineer "He _is_ a dirty cheat after all."

Scotty laughed and McCoy glared at them still holding his pile of money.

The room quieted down when Jim looked back out across the table, moving from face to face he smiled and stood again, his eyes meeting Spocks. The vulcan hesitated then raised his two fingers as Jim almost instantly connected to him in a soft vulcan kiss.

He turned and beamed at his friends who wolf whistled laughing, Spock ducked his head Jims arm still brushing against his side, presence and acceptance filling him with warmth. The vulcan gazed out at his friends and felt contentment, it buzzed in his veins and he resisted the urge to smile.

Suddenly the doors opened and Jims mother walked in, she stopped in her tracks silently staring at her son. Spock swiftly moved away making sure to retain his professional posture her cold eyes only flickering to him for a brief second but the disgust was clear.

The room went silent and Jim turned, stiffening when he saw his mother.

"James."

"Mother."

"James, I must discuss some important things concerning the young woman you are courting."

Jim nodded "May I finish this briefing?"

She glanced at the crew who visibly shrank under her noble stare. "I will wait for you in your quarters."

Jim just nodded and she turned striding from the room the tension she had created remaining long after she had left.

Jims shoulders slumped and Spock took a minute to step forward placing a hand on the small of his back, a reassuring touch he had observed in other humans. It seemed to work, Jims posture straightening, pressing back on the touch, confidence returning.

"Right…about that. My mother is now aboard, we are taking her to Starbase 15."

The crew shared glances and after a uncomfortable silence Sulu leant forward "Uh captain, she said something about a young woman? Spock is… very elegant but he can hardly be construed as female."

Spock raised an eyebrow and Jim blushed. "My mother is deeply religious and has a particular distaste of anything alien to herself. This means she already hates Spock simply for being an vulcan and she won't be exactly happy that I'm bisexual and I chose to start a relationship with a **man**. Even a man as awesome as Spock."

His voice was bitter, harsh and Sulu sat back sympathy in his eyes "Right."

Uhura sighed and stood up eyes trained on the two men "That is why I am going to be acting as the captains partner for as long as she is here."

Chekov gasped and McCoy glanced at Spock the vulcans face as emotionless as ever.

"Your ex Spock?"

"Nyota is a particularly gifted actress and a close friend of ours. She is a ideal choice for a deception of this nature."

Uhura blushed and smiled at the vulcan "Thank you Spock."

He just inclined his head toward her and she turned to the crew "But this stays between us, telling the rest of the crew about me and the captain would be an insurance deal. If they do find out Jim is in a relationship they would only find out about me and so then they won't find out about Spock and the captains relationship. Not until they are ready."

Jim stepped forward crossing his arms "And we aren't. Not yet."

The room feel silent for a second, every man staring at each other until Chekov stood "Uh captain, what about your party? Is that still going to happen?" he looked sad, as though the very idea of cancelling a party wounded him.

Jim smiled "Of course it is!"

The captain was nervous, the fear that engulfed him had its roots in his youth. Around his mother, that woman, he felt like nothing, he _was_ nothing to her merely a ghost, a disappointment. Even when he gained his captaincy nothing was good enough, everything was marred by failure.

He was surprised that it still hurt when he saw the clear disgust and hatred in her eyes and lived for the moments where she was pleased by him.

Spock sighed, Jim was lost to him his eyes glassy as he strode onwards barely registering the vulcans presence.

The doors to his room slid open and Spock watched him enter, his shoulders slumped and he seemed to shrink in stature. The vulcan sighed and carried on along the corridor, entering his own quarters.

For a few moments he just stood staring at the opposite wall before striding almost without control towards the bathroom and the door to Jims adjoining quarters. He stopped hands clenched at his sides as he focussed his sensitive hearing on the two voices emanating from the next room.

"I must meet this young woman James."

"Yes mother, her name is Nyota."

"I did not ask for her name. When will I meet her?"

"She agreed to meet for dinner tomorrow."

"Good. I trust she is a Christian?"

"Uh...yeah"

"Good. I am thankful that for once you seem to have chosen a suitable partner."

There was an uncomfortable silence and Spock could almost feel Jims anxiety through the sleek metal door. He sighed and for a moment considered the ethics of eavesdropping on his lover. He shook himself disgusted with his conduct, shame flooding past the blocks in his mind. Spying on the captain was wrong, he sighed turning to leave when he heard something that made the vulcan pause.

"James, you must get rid of that thing you call a first officer."

The vulcan spun around and pressed his ear up to the door, hand splayed out next to him, heart beat rapid.

"On what grounds?"

Jim was incredulous and Spock raised his eyebrows when he detected a hint of anger in his tone.

"That filthy disgusting mutant is in love with you."

"WHAT!"

Spocks stomach dropped and he felt nauseous. Taking a deep breath he straightened his back carefully maintaining his mental blocks. He would not allow this conversation to affect him.

"I have been observing him since you were discovered on the floor in the hospital. I have seen the way it looks at you, and how close it stands by you, its feelings are clear. It is unnatural."

Jim was silent again and Spock resisted the urge to open the door and run to him. After what seemed like too much time Jim spoke again his voice low, dangerous.

"Spock is the best first officer in the fleet. It is his job to stand by me and he will continue to do so."

Suddenly there was a loud crack and the vulcans muscles tensed. She had _slapped _Jim.

"**Insolent child**. Homosexuality is a sin and like the devil it wishes to destroy you. The sooner you realise this, the better."

Spock was surprised to find hatred burning through his veins and in an effort to control himself he turned away closing his eyes as he blocked the thoughts and emotions from entering his mind.

He waited for the distinct hiss of Jims doors to sound before he entered, his eyes drifting over the crumpled form of his captain. Jim was crouched on the floor, hand clasped to his face eyes closed as a single tear ran down his cheek. The vulcan ran forwards gathering the limp man in his arms, pulling him to his chest as they leant against the bed rocking gently.

It was 6 minutes 34 seconds before either of them spoke again.

"I can't believe her. The things she calls you make me so angry… but there is nothing I can do, she is my _mother_. I thought maybe meeting you, understanding you she might show that she had changed. Even a little. But she is the same selfish, ungrateful evil witch she has always been."

Spock said nothing he just clung to his t'hy'la a little tighter. After another 3 minutes and 22 seconds Jim pulled away looking up at the vulcan. Spocks mouth twitched sadly and he drew his hand across the still light pink cheek of his lover.

"Are you alright Jim?"

The captain closed his eyes "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm used to it."

The next morning the bridge was quiet, the only sounds the soft beeping of the work stations and muttered commands or conversations.

Spock and Jim arrived together, careful to maintain a professional air they locked eye contact as they parted, both men looking away as soon as they reached their correct place.

The vulcan considered his emotions concerning Jims mother. There was an extreme amount of rage and hatred in him, more so than he had expected. It was also surprising that Jim too seemed to share these emotions, and it seemed this stemmed from a difficult childhood.

But under that he still seemed to love her, respect her in a way that only a son could. Spock sighed, shifting his weight from one hip to the other.

Then there were the other emotions, the ones he had hidden away. His burning jealousy. He knew that the plan with Nyota was necessary, but that did nothing to stem his pain.

The merest thought of Jim calling her pet names, claiming her as his own. _Kissing_ her. It stung like a knife to his heart.

The vulcan stood abruptly and turned looking over to his lover, frowning at the drawn distracted expression, his vibrant eyes dull, hair greasy, skin pale. He was obviously still recovering and did not need the stress of the current situation, it would only serve to weaken him and slow his recovery.

That night the commander pressed a quick vulcan kiss to Jim as they parted, the captain heading towards the more private observation canteen and Spock towards his own quarters. Jim paused and sighed looking both ways before pecking his lover on the cheek.

"See ya Spock. Wish me luck."

Spock titled his head "I desire for random chance to act in your favour."

Jim smiled crookedly "Thanks."

The vulcan nodded and they parted ways.

Uhura was waiting for him, usual uniform gone, replaced by a simple black dress that clung to her curves. She smiled at him picking lint off of her shoulder.

"Hey"

He whistled and she giggled "Is this okay? If I'm going to be your girlfriend I want to make a good impression. It's not too dressy?"

He shook his head and she put out a arm linking it with his. Jim sighed "Remember you're a Christian who would give up your job straight away to have my kids and serve god or whatever."

She raised her eyebrow "Fine."

The captain was silent for a long moment "Thank you for doing this. It couldn't have been anybody else."

She smiled warmly at him "Do you think I'm stupid, you just wanted an excuse to finally date me."

She winked at him and Jim chuckled "Well... you caught me! It was all a magnificent ploy. Admit it, you're impressed!"

"Better not be. Spock would skin me alive."

Jim smiled "Then this way honey."

She laughed "Thank you sweety pie."

The canteen was empty, just three placemats set on the smallest round table. Jim sighed and together they walked towards it the captain pulling Uhuras chair out for her. She shook her head sitting down, waiting for him to take his seat before looking at him.

"You know, I don't understand how I never saw it."

The captain frowned "Saw what?"

"The way Spock feels about you."

Jim crossed his arms "What do you mean?"

"Well it was always the captain said this, the captain said that. Oh the captain is so illogical, the captain said the most illogical thing."

Jim laughed "Really?"

"You should've heard him. I know more about you than I really should frankly."

Jim guffawed loudly, his laughter dissipating to a weak cough as the doors slid open revealing his mother blankly staring out across the empty room, her eyes locking onto the young lieutenant.

She stamped forward, Jim jumping to his feet and pulling her chair out for her. After they had settled and the captain had poured the drinks he realised his mother still hadn't taken her eyes off of Nyotas face.

He waited but she made no move to speak and Uhura looked at him panic in her eyes.

"Mother, this is Nyota."

She smiled gracefully and bowed her head at the older woman, sliding a delicate wrist across the table, clutching Jims hand lightly.

The noble woman sat up straighter "Are you a Christian?"

"Yes ma'am."

Winona nodded and looked down at her food, lip curling. Jim raised his eyebrows at Nyota and they both began to pick at their food, an awkward silence filling the room.

When she was done Mrs. Kirk carefully laid her knife and fork next to her plate and placed her palms down on the table top. "Nyota, do you intend to have children?"

Uhura spluttered but recovered quickly, her face melting, her eyes filled with love and respect. She looked at Jim and he almost choked, it looked so real he almost believed she had lost her mind.

"Of course ma'am"

"And you will be willing to give up your career to raise them?"

Mrs. Kirks eyes narrowed and she leant forward slightly, a eyebrow arched in suspicion.

Nyota looked shocked and placed a hand on her breastbone, eyebrows rising "Of _course_. It is a woman's job to care for the children, I will raise them as good Christian believing and trusting in gods word."

She spoke with such passion that Jim found himself promoting her in his mind, visions of sending her flowers and raises. Jim smiled and she smiled back at him, his impressed grin making her giggle.

"James, I do believe you have for once found a suitable mother for your children. Nyota dear, how did you and my son meet?"

"I was at church at the academy, James leant me his prayer book as I had mislaid mine."

She smiled warmly at the captain clenching his fingers around his hand. He blushed vibrantly.

"And how do you feel about that first officer of his?"

Uhuras eyes narrowed only slightly "He appears to work efficiently."

The old woman nodded humming to herself eyes flickering from her son to the young female. "It is so unhuman, almost mechanical. Don't you agree?"

The lieutenants eyes flashed but she smiled at Jims mother titling her head slightly "It is in fact half human, isn't it Jim."

The captain nodded biting his lip. Nyota almost gasped when she saw the pain and anger in his eyes, false smile stretched. She licked her lips and smiled pleasantly at the elegant woman instantly deciding to end his torture.

"I am tired Mrs. Kirk. May I be excused?"

Winona regarded Nyota for a mere second before facing her son. "We shall escort Nyota to her quarters. I wish to talk to you further regarding a personal matter."

Jims smile faltered only slightly but he nodded, getting to his feet the captain pulled each woman's chair out for them and linked arms with his lieutenant careful not to walk too quickly.

As they strode through the halls Jim found himself relieved at the sudden lack in personnel wandering the halls, it would have put a damper on the plan if he was seen walking Nyota back to her room.

Most of the crew didn't even know Spock and Uhura had broken up.

As they reached her door, he let her go turning around to find his mother fixing him with a strange stare. He looked at her and turned back around shrugging slightly.

Nyota rolled her eyes and stood on her tiptoes "Forgive me."

She leant forward and pecked him lightly on the lips hands still clasped in front of her keeping the contact brief and chaste.

When she pulled back Kirks mother was smirking smugly and she nodded "Goodnight Mrs. Kirk. Goodnight James."

Jim blushed a little and nodded "Goodnight Nyota."

As the door closed behind her Jim turned and his mother merely waved with her hand indicating he should follow. The captain sighed and followed obediently as she led him into a near by observation deck.

"James, if you wish to marry Nyota you must get rid of that scum you call a first officer and if you don't I certainly will. It is imperative that you marry soon so she can bear you the son you need and she cannot marry you whilst you are associated with that mutant."

Jim just stared

"Stop gawping like that boy."

She barely looked at him as she turned and gracefully floated from the room leaving the captain stunned on the spot.

Spock waited patiently for Jim in the hallway bowing his head in greeting as the doors slid open. Jim smiled at Spock and glanced both ways before pecking him on the lips.

"Good morning love."

"Good morning t'hy'la."

Jim turned and together they walked to the turbolift "I hope today is better than yesterday."

Spock said nothing he just waited for the doors to open and for the captain to strut out, careful to tear his eyes away from his retreating backside before exiting the lift himself. It would be suspicious if he were caught admiring the captain on the bridge.

For the first hour everything went as normal until Jims mother made a surprise appearance on the bridge. The air was thick with tension and Spock made sure not to look at or come near the captain, instead glancing at Uhura who pouted sadly at him.

"Captain a message from admiral Pike."

Jim glanced at Uhura and smiled "Put him on visual Nyota."

She nodded and pressed a few buttons, admiral pikes grinning face filling the screen, his eyes boring into Jims.

"Captain."

"Admiral."

"I was just wondering how things were going with Winona on board."

Mrs. Kirk stepped forwards and Pikes easy smile dimmed a little. "There has been a small problem, but I will be sorting that out."

Pike raised his eyebrows nodding and Jim blushed a little, flinching when his mother spoke again. "Christopher, have you met my sons lady friend? Come here dear so the man can see you."

She gestured with her hands and Uhura hesitated for a moment before walking over the old woman's cold thing fingers wrapping around the top of her arm, holding her in place. Pike mouth dropped open but he recovered quickly, Uhura smiled weakly at him and the admiral frowned.

"Jim? What does Spock think about this!"

Mrs Kirks eyes narrowed and Nyota flinched as he grip tightened. "And _what_ does my sons relationship have to do with Spock." She spat his name like acid and the vulcan turned looking directly at the admiral, ignoring the fearful expression on Jims face.

"I expect the admiral was referring to my races natural lack of emotion."

Pike was silent for a brief second before he understood, nodding in agreement "Yes, I was wondering what Spock made of the idea of love as a purely logical creature."

Her sharp eyes turned on him and he could almost feel the icy glare from across the bridge.

"I find it… illogical."

Pike nodded "I thought you might."

Jim glanced at Spock and then at Pike "If that is all admiral?"

"Yes thank you Jim. Uh…congratulations."

Jim nodded tiredly and Pike signed off, the screen going blank for a moment before the stars became visible again.

Kirks mother was still staring at Spock when she released Uhura, barely glancing at the captain she moved towards the turbolift. "James I wish to speak to you again."

Jim rolled his eyes, hand on his face and Spock could tell he was thankful his back was turned so his mother could not see the pained angry expression he wore.

"I cannot leave during a shift mother."

She sighed hands on hips finally looking away from Spock and down at her son "I will be waiting in my quarters."

As she turned and left the entire room let out a breath, the tension dissipating quickly. Jim however was still angry hand over his eyes, muscles tense as he massaged his won forehead. Spock licked his lips picking up a nearby PADD on his way to the chair.

He leant in low pressing the PADD into Jims hands lightly "Are you alright t'hy'la?" he whispered carefully pointing randomly at places as if to indicate they were reading the report.

The bridge quietly buzzed around them, every crewmember taking pains not to look at the captain as per usual when he was angry.

"No. She has no respect for me, my captaincy and worse of all,_ you_. It makes me so angry I just want to scream."

"Jim there are only five days remaining until we reach the starbase. It is illogical to concern yourself with a fleeting situation."

Jim sighed "I know but it's hard when you don't have a vulcan brain to simply blot these things out."

Spock titled his head "Jim you are the captain, you have suffered worse scenarios than this. I am confident you can survive five days."

Jim smiled weakly at him "We are talking about an old woman like she is a monster."

Spock raised an eyebrow "I have met many a monster less monstrous than her."

Jim chuckled and Spock nodded standing back up "Perhaps these reports need further review captain."

Jim looked up at him relaxing, stretching his limbs into the familiar pose, possessing and owning his chair "Yes, I expect you to bring them to me later today."

Spock nodded and returned to his station quietly pleased that he had managed to break the captains sullen mood.

That night Spock wandered the halls instead of sleeping. He had left Jims quarters three hours ago, the captains insistence on taking it slow meaning they had spent the night playing chess.

The vulcans lip twitched when he considered the shift in his role, normally he would be the one creating distance but with Jim he found it was increasingly difficult to separate himself from the shorter scruffy man, Spocks desperate desire to connect with his mind making the vulcan thankful for his slow moving lover.

Suddenly he felt a strong wiry grip on his sleeve and spun on his heels, wrenching his arm from the grasp of his assailant. Spock raised an eyebrow and straightening his back looked down on the glaring woman.

"Mrs. Kirk, may I help you?"

She crossed her arms head titling as though she were sizing him up. "Spock I have been looking for you."

The vulcan quickly closed all the barriers in his mind, clearing his head so he may defend himself from anything she threw at him. "If you wished to find me ma'am you need merely ask the ships computer for my location."

He realised his tone was frosty, defensive and licked his lips. She snorted bitterly "Now you listen to me mutant. You stay away from my son, he is disgusted by you and he told me that himself. If you don't start keeping your distance and stop trying to corrupt him you will have not only me, but the lord against you heathen."

Spock just placed his hands behind his back, a salacious smirk running through his head when he realised his lack of reaction and expressionless face were only serving to anger her more.

"If you excuse me madam but you seem to be under the impression that I aim to harm the captain in some way. It is illogical to harm my senior officer and there fore I will not do it."

She almost snarled hands clenching at her sides, muscles tensing jaw twitching. Spock studied her for a moment, it was clear she wished to physically harm him and the firer in her usually frosty eyes could have been deemed demonic, it was this quickness to anger that most likely scared the captain at a young age.

He however was not afraid and Spock titled his head "Goodnight ma'am".

He turned swiftly and began to make his escape freezing when he heard her quiet dangerous tone. "You're in love with him aren't you?"

Spock turned hands behind him clenched tightly together. "With respect ma'am you clearly do not understand Vulcan's. I am incapable of love, or any emotion. It is illogical."

She stepped forward slowly and the vulcan found himself comparing her to a scuttling arachnid "But you _do_ don't you."

Spock said nothing and she raised an eyebrow smug smirk growing on her twisted lips. "Just as I thought. Degenerate heathen, and James…James isn't a smart boy, always needed help as a child. Of course he can't see it, pathetic weak lit-"

Spock stepped forward invading her personal space eyes dark and glassy, filled with simple pure hatred. The old woman cowered slightly in shock "Captain Kirk is my friend and I do not take well to hearing you insult him. I would ask you not to slander him in my presence again. Good _night_ Mrs Kirk."

Spocks voice was low, a dangerous tone reverberating through the shocked woman. With that he turned and strode away graceful as though floating on air.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Well lots of fluff and drama in this chapter. I hope you guys like it, R&R and I will love you 3

Spock sat alone at his table; Jim had gone to the gym, something Spock had noticed he did a lot when he was stressed. The vulcan sighed and looked down at his salad taking slow methodical bites.

His t'hy'la's behaviour had been increasingly strange since the hospital, although he did act as expected when they were alone every time they left the safety of their quarters Jim would become fidgety, nervous. Spock had asked him to confide in him but the captain just refused to explain.

The vulcan shifted uncomfortably in his seat knowing that there was a high possibility that Jim was abused as a child and that all his logical thinking could only come to that conclusion. He instantly discarded the thought as soon as it entered his mind and focused intently on his food, hoping to halt the rage that flared in his stomach.

Suddenly he was surrounded; Chekov and Sulu to his left, Scotty to his right and doctor McCoy seated across from him.

"Hello Spock."

The commander placed his fork next to his half empty bowl of food and looked at the eager crew members, he nodded in greeting and Chekov pushed a large lumpy parcel towards him, excited grin setting the vulcan on edge.

"What is the meaning of this?"

Sulu laughed and leant across Chekov so he could talk to the vulcan "We need you."

Spock raised an eyebrow and stared at the doctor who sighed rolling his eyes "Look, all you need to do is get Jim to the 6th deck conference hall tonight, wearing this outfit, at seven thirty."

Spock looked down at the parcel reaching out and picking it up. It was heavy and soft, the thick brown paper crunching as he lifted it to his chest. "I do not understand."

McCoy groaned "For a smart guy you're pretty dim. Its Jims _party_, he loves surprise parties and this one is going to be one hell of a surprise."

Spock licked his lips and glanced at the grinning crew "You wish me to lie to the captain, to convince him to wear a costume and follow me to a location at a specific time so he can attend a surprise party he is already aware is happening?"

Scotty chuckled "Yep, you can do that can't you Spock?"

The vulcans eyebrow twitched "Affirmative."

That night Spock waited in his quarters until he was sure Jim was alone before standing and striding across the room, door sliding open as he reached it, Jim turning on his heels when he heard the sound.

He beamed at the vulcan and ran a hand through his greasy hair. Making a disgusted face he walked up to the commander touching him lightly on the chest.

"I look disgusting, just wait there for a minute." He pointed at the bed and slid past his lover leaving the door open as he strode out of sight.

Spock smiled and turned sinking onto the bed, his eyes trained on the small portion of the bathroom he could see. Suddenly the gold shirt and two black boots flew into view, steam beginning to roll across the room as the shower started.

Spock licked his lips grinning internally when he heard the distinct sound of Jims mumbled singing, the shirt and boots joined by a black undershirt, uniform trousers and a pair of regulation black underpants. Spock shifted on the bed sniffing the air as the sweet fumes of Jims body wash filtered through the air towards him, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up.

For three minute the commander fidgeted on the bed, straining to keep himself there. His head was cloudy with lust as he remembered Jims physique from Narcissum, images of him under the stream of the shower, water running in rivulets down his neck, dripping down his chest, his eyes half lidded, face flushed from the steam. Spock gasped at the sudden shot of arousal that flooded his mind and he shook his head trying in vain to evacuate the emotions from his mind.

When he opened his eyes the noise of the shower had stopped and Jim was standing in the doorway, an eyebrow raised and wearing nothing but a white towel.

The commander swallowed fighting for his control at he blatantly stared making Jim blush at the intense gaze and he watched as Jim crossed the room pulling clean underwear and a black undershirt from the drawer, glancing at his lover.

"Turn around idiot."

Spock blushed lightly and stood respectively, his back turned to the captain as he began slowly letting his blocks down, allowing the emotion to leak into his features, relaxing his rigid control.

A cool hand slid around his waist and Spock spun on the spot laying his hands on the shorter mans shoulders. He looked down at the captain's wide grin, his eyes lit up with simple happiness and the vulcan smiled wide pressing his forehead to Jims.

"You look well t'hy'la."

Jim chuckled "Thanks, you're not so bad yourself."

Spock sighed and pressed his lips to Jim still damp forehead, moving down and sucking lightly on his plump bottom lip. Jim moaned and kissed him back licking Spock's lips and grinning into his mouth.

They stood like this for a few moments before the vulcan pulled back, his mouth in a thin line as he pressed his lips together, his previous thoughts weighing heavy in his mind.

"Jim, I am curious as to the cause of your fear of your mother."

The captains smiled dimmed and he bit his lip, thankfully remaining in Spocks arms as he looked away. His voice was low, almost silent "Spock, it's… I will tell you. In time I _will_, I promise you that, but not right now."

Spock nodded "I have your word and that is acceptable."

Jim smiled sadly and leant up so he could wrap his arms around the vulcans neck, burying his face in the smooth skin. Spock sighed just holding his lover until the shorter man pulled away.

"So…what do you want to do tonight?"

Spock blushed lightly and let Jim go walking across the room silently as he retrieved the package. Turning back towards his love he realised Jim had not followed him and was still stood wearing his black t-shirt and boxers, hair still slightly damp, bemused expression on his face.

The vulcan attempted a half smile and brought the brown paper parcel to his captain placing it in his waiting hands as though it were a bomb about to go off. Jim raised an eyebrow and began ripping at the paper, halting at once when a vibrant royal blue jacket fell from his hands.

He stared down at it in shock, glancing at Spock as he bent down to retrieve it. The jacket was long at the back, splitting into two tails and had long sleeves ending in large ornate cuffs to match the stiff collar and silver detailing along the seams. On the front, round silver buttons that held the jacket together, a row on either side glinting in the bright lights of Jims quarters.

He stared at the jacket and then at Spock before grinning wildly and throwing it on, strutting up and down and checking himself out in the long mirror beside his bed.

Spock glanced at himself in the reflective glass, his face flushed a light apple green and he smiled as Jim grinned at his reflection.

"Spock this is...beautiful."

Spock looked at his t'hy'la in the jacket and he could feel his heart race, his lungs constrict. The blue made Jims eyes seem even more vibrant, the silver buttons dull compared to his blinding smile, it wasn't the jacket, it was Jim that was beautiful.

"I am pleased you like it Jim."

Spock licked his lips and turned picking up his own parcel, the captain still preoccupied with his own reflection posing and strutting in front of the mirror.

Spock carefully tore a thin strip all the way around the parcel pulling the smooth paper off and holding his own jacket in his hands. Gripping it by the shoulders he shook it and pulled it on over his black undershirt, slowly methodically matching each fastening.

Jim turned and his bright smile dropped, eyes growing wide and face flushing. He whistled low, reaching out and touching his lover on the arm, pulling him over to the mirror.

"_Damn."_

Spock looked at himself and smiled, the thick black fabric clung to his toned torso, a traditional military styled cut that suited him well. The straight collar closed by a simple silver clasp, black bands of silken fabric across his chest with catches on the end fastening him in, pale green thread on the seams accentuating his skin tone.

Spock nodded and turned to Jim "Do you find this pleasing Jim?"

The captain grinned and jumped at his lover catching his mouth in a ferocious kiss, hands running up and down his arms and chest.

"So, why the awesome jackets?" The captain was breathless still pressing kisses to Spocks jaw line.

The taller man glanced down at Jim tilting his head, formulating a plausible lie "I wish to take you on a date."

Jim quirked an eyebrow "Do I get a sweet new jacket every time we go on a date?"

Spock said nothing he merely stepped back, hands behind his back and Jim turned away sighing "Fine fine be mysterious, I'll get some pants on. Wait outside."

Spock nodded letting his eyes light up with the happiness he felt as he turned leaving the room. He waited patiently ignoring the strange looks and glances he was receiving from passing crewmembers.

Suddenly Jim was at his side "So where to?"

Spock looked down at him "Deck 6." Jim smiled placing his thumbs in his pockets as they walked.

After about three minutes the captain rolled his eyes and abruptly turned pressing Spock against the wall. He waited in silence as two young engineers walked past, both making pains not to look as their captain stood hand on the chest of his first officer wearing strange but fantastic jackets.

When their footsteps faded away Jim moved his eyes from his hand to Spocks face, arching an eyebrow "Okay Spock. What's really going on?"

The vulcan looked up over the top of his lovers head, face as expressionless as if he were on the bridge "I do not know what you mean captain."

Jim laughed "Oh really? Sure you don't want to tell me?"

Spock glanced down and back up again, careful not to smile.

"Well if we are going to play dirty." Jim grinned wickedly and slid a hand slowly down Spocks wrist, his fingers dancing over the vulcans sensitive palm and carefully massaging his thumb. Spock gasped his pupils growing, a light flush on his cheeks.

But he remained silent so Jim laughed holding the hand in front of his face as he blew cool air across his fingertips, leaning forward and pressing his lips to the vulcans forefinger and index finger. Spock's eyes dropped and he watched, panting slightly as the captains licked a slow wet line down them, parting the fingers with his tongue, moaning obscenely.

Spock gasped ripping his hands from Jims grip and side stepping, closing his eyes in an effort not to claim the captain. Jim laughed, slapping a hand down on the vulcans shoulder.

"You okay there?"

Spock turned to him an eyebrow raised "You certainly 'play dirty' rather well Jim." He winced internally at the hoarse scratch of his voice, lust barely contained.

Jim crossed his arms a smug smirk on his devilish lips "So you gonna tell me what's going on?"

Spock sighed standing and straightening himself, carefully gaining control. "I cannot. It is a secret."

Jim turned his head glancing both ways "It's my party isn't it? I promise I won't say that you told me, I'll even act surprised."

Spock said nothing and Jim took this as affirmative and wooped jumping on the taller man, hugging him tightly before letting him go and striding away down the hall and around the corner his joyful voice ringing out in the quiet hallway.

"Come on! I don't want to be late!"

Spock smiled and began to follow frowning when he turned the corner and ran into the blonde man who had halted on his heels mouth downturned, eyes averted. Standing opposite him was his mother, her glare suddenly fixing on Spock.

The vulcan wiped all expression from his face in a second and moved away from Jim. "My apologies captain, I did not see you."

Jim looked up at Spock and titled his head a strange expression on his face "It's okay."

"Where are you going James? I wish to speak with you."

Jim kept staring at Spock and so he raised an eyebrow, but the captain still did not answer, the silence stretching out in front of them.

"James!"

The woman was enraged her eyes bugging out, lips twisted in an ugly scowl and Spock licked his lips. Jim still did not look at her but he began to speak his voice low, dangerous.

"I am attending a party mother. I do not wish to be and so cannot talk with you. Excuse me."

He turned at the last moment and gripped Spock by the elbow, dragging him past the shocked woman, her ice cold eyes stuck staring at where her son had been.

When they reached the turbolift Jim finally looked up and Spock realised he was breathing heavily, a giddy grin on his face.

"_Woah_, did you see me? I was like I'm going to my party woman and you can't stop me. Bam!" he grinned at the vulcan his face dropping when Spock frowned at him.

"Jim I am unsure of how to react."

Jim rolled his eyes and smiled pleasantly "You're supposed to be proud of me. That was the first time I have ever stood up to that woman! It's a _good_ thing, I'm sick of her bossing me around like I'm still a weak little six year old that she can –"

He stopped, biting his lips and looking away his eyes downcast. "Well anyway. Let's go party!"

Spock relaxed a little and reached out placing a hand on the captains shoulder "I am proud of you t'hy'la."

And he was, he knew that for whatever reason Jim was scared of that woman and he had overcome that fear in a small way. He had rebelled.

Jim beamed up at him and glanced at the door before pushing his lover up against the wall, hands sliding under the rim of the stiff black jacket, cool and smooth on Spocks heated stomach, he leant forwards licking and nipping a line from the bottom of his neck up to the bottom of his ear, finishing with a soft bite to the pointed tip.

Spock grunted and clutched Jim tightly arousal flooding his system. Jim chuckled "Aaand we find another sweet spot."

Spock glared at him and Jim smiled reaching out and running a cool finger down Spock's ear and following the line of his jaw to his lips.

"Hey, I need to know these things for… well for when the time comes."

Spock just glared harder and Jim smiled pleasantly pressing his lips to the commanders and stepping away. "Alright, so where's the party?"

Together they exited the lift the shorter man closely on the heels of his first officer as he led them towards the door of the conference room. Gesturing with his hand he pushed Jim in first, blinking in surprise as the lights came on and the crew jumped out form various hiding places screaming "Surprise!" all at once.

Jim yelled clutching his chest in what Spock realised was a genuine shocked expression, more so from the booming echo than anything else.

He glanced around the now lit room his eyebrows inching up his forehead more and more as he gazed at the twinkling paper lights strung up across the roof, the enormous tables moved out to reveal a polished shining dance floor. Three long tables against one wall laden with piles of small snacks and sweet desserts, black fabric hanging off them, skulls with bones behind them in white. Two palm trees on either end of a smaller table in the corner which seemed to be acting as the bar, lively music thundering from speakers in every corner of the room and to top it off a large banner depicting the words 'Welcome Back Capt. Jim'.

Jim laughed loudly and ran forwards jumping on McCoy "You got me a god damn pirate party you beautiful bastard."

Spock raised an eyebrow looking from each member of the crew, some wearing eye patches, false moustaches and beards abound. Striped shirts, torn black trousers and belts with cutlasses, ornate guns he recognised from earth history adorned every belt, crude false scars drawn on their faces and bare arms.

Jim was beaming holding his face up so Uhura could draw a bushy moustache on his face, turning to Spock with an evil glint in his eyes when she was done. The vulcan could feel the panic flood past his happiness that Jim was enjoying himself as the crew began to creep towards him, sharing devilish grins and brandishing black pens.

He made no sound as they leapt on him, dragging him to the floor his eyes closed as he felt the slightly sharp drag of the pen on his face and arms, something tight being attached to his face. When they released him Spock got to his feet elegantly glancing at his lover who laughed loudly, leaning on his medical officer as they both guffawed at his stuffy expression.

Uhura walked up beside him wearing a tight striped top and ripped dark brown shorts, a bandanna wrapped around her long hair. She grinned holding a hand mirror up to his face and Spock glared at his reflection; an eye patch and large bushy moustache making him appear as a cartoon villain.

His glare did not hold for long because Jim crossed the room from the bar area where had been pushed along in a wave of revellers holding tow drinks, a bright smile on his face as he carefully manoeuvred through the now dancing crew members and towards Spock and Uhura. He giggled again and Spock resisted the urge to pout, Jims laughter fading when he saw the annoyance in his lovers eyes.

"Hey cheer up. I think it looks hot, don't you Nyota?"

She laughed nodding insistently "Yes, yes it does."

Spock allowed himself a tiny smile and Uhura beamed at him "See, how did I _not_ see that. He actually _smiled _because of you."

Jim blushed and Spock simply ducked his head, nodding as McCoy appeared extending his hand as invitation, grinning as he pulled Nyota to the dance floor.

They were finally alone again, and Jim leant against the wall holding one vibrant green drink and one dark brown drink closely to his chest as he glanced up at the stiff man.

"Relax love, it's a party. Don't pretend you don't love it, I can tell you do."

Spock turned to him and smiled, pressing his fingers to Jims palm. "I enjoy my friends' pleasure."

Jim pushed the dark brown drink into his hands "So you don't like party games? Or drinking? You just like other peoples liking them?"

Spock titled his head "They hold some small measure of enjoyment yes."

Jim narrowed his eyes suspiciously "And what about dancing?"

Spock blushed a little "I find dancing… a stimulating experience."

Jim beamed up at him "Drink up!"

Spock glanced down at his drink "You are aware of the limited affect alcohol has on vulcans?"

Jim nodded "Yes I remember so this time; I got something a bit special."

Spock raised and eyebrow but Jim did not stop beaming at him, and so he reluctantly raised the drink to his lips sniffing the suspicious liquid, gasped in shock when he recognised the pungent sweet smell.

"Chocolate?"

Jim giggled downing his own drink in one "This is my party Spock, and if I'm getting drunk and making a fool out of myself, so are you."

The vulcan bit his lip, trying to ignore the panic at the idea of getting drunk that filled his mind. Such a loss of control would lead him open to attack.

He glanced around them and relaxed. It was illogical to fear attack from the crew, his friends and Jim was there. He would not let Spock embarrass himself, not seriously.

Licking his lips he downed his own drink, the sudden rush making him dizzy, unstable and he reached out a hand gripping Jim by the shoulder. The captain looked a little worried "Are you alright?"

Spock recovered himself a little "Yes, I was unprepared for the effects."

Jim grinned and grabbed him by the arm, pulling the vulcan towards the middle of the dance floor and the bridge crew who were dancing rather exuberantly to the music pounding above them.

Slowly the arm tingle of the chocolate spread through his veins and he found himself relaxing, twirling Uhura around to the music and allowing Jim to casually touch him on the hips or sling a arm around his waist as they talked and danced.

As the night wore on the music became less loud and manic and the dancers less enthusiastic, some just leaning against each other swaying. Suddenly the music stopped and McCoys voice filtered through the air, slurring his words slightly "Okay, time to clear the dance floor for the final dance of the night. Give a big starfleet hand to your captain Jim Kirk and science officer Spock!"

The dancers shared bemused looks whispering amongst themselves as they crowded around the edges, the bridge crew beaming and clapping the couple who stood, confused at the centre of the floor, Jims grin widening as slow ballroom music began to filter from the speakers, suddenly loud in the silent room, nodding at McCoy who raised a thumb in his direction.

Spock blushed a light green and stared at the floor until Jims cool hands brushed his neck. He looked up and smiled placing a hand on the captain's hip the other on his chest, Jim's arms wrapped around his neck and he began to sway lightly, pulling the vulcan across the dance floor.

Spock sighed transmitting his love and happiness through his fingertips hoping that Jim would pick it up as they spun and twirled across the floor, the crowd melding into the scenery the music faint in his ears as thought he and Jim were the only two people in the world.

Jim beamed up at him and as the song ended reached up pressing his lips to the vulcan in a soft loving kiss. The room exploded in a cacophony of cheers and clapping and Jim broke away grinning up at Spock "I think we just officially came out."

Spock smiled too ducking his head "Affirmative."

Suddenly the applause came to a dead halt the crowds parting a shrill voice ringing out "James Tiberius Kirk let go of that mutant freak!"

Spock stiffened and turned his eyes meeting the fierce burning gaze of the furious woman, her blonde hair tight against her skull teeth bared eyes wild, her clawed hands on her hips she glared at the vulcan and he tried to move away.

He was clouded by confusion when Jim did not release him, instead clinging tighter to the vulcan, fingers digging into his hips. Spock took a step back towards him and Jim relaxed turning on his heels so he had one arm slung around Spocks hips the other on his own.

He said nothing and the room was silent as she began to walk towards them, heels clacking on the polished floor, elegant walk offset by her ugly twisted face. Stopping just in front of them she spoke in a low dangerous tone Spock recognised only too well.

"You filthy disgusting abomination, you are no son of mine. I should have known when you decided to join starfleet that you would desert your family for the vile inhuman monsters, you _ungrateful_, selfish pathetic little boy."

Her voice was loud and she screeched raising a hand to strike Jim. Spock tensed about to reach out when he realised her arm was stiff, Jims own strong fingers wrapped around her wrist slowly pushing her arm back down to her side.

He leant forwards slightly "I am not a little boy anymore. I am the captain of a star ship. I am not afraid of you anymore. Frankly I'm surprise I even believed for a second that you would meet Spock and realise that aliens are not in human, that they can be intelligent, kind, handsome, noble and brave and clearly I was wrong. I love him, I. **love**. Him. I don't care what you think or what you say. It is _you_ who is ungrateful, who is selfish and to be honest I think you're completely nuts."

He stood back finally looking away from her icy stare and up to Spock "Cmon love, parties over."

He turned smiling at Bones who raised a single eyebrow and lifted a drink into the air, ducking his head as Jim pulled Spocks sleeve dragging him from the silent room.

Halfway down the corridor he heard the music start up again, McCoys voice distant "Okay everybody, the parties still on for us so let's boogie down."

Jim giggled next to him as they walked mumbling the words 'boogie down' to himself. Both men remained otherwise silent as they made their way back to Jim's quarters.

Spocks mind was reeling, pride and love heavy on his chest and he found himself breathing heavily, his heart racing ,veins pulsing as he walked, his world waving slightly.

For a second the vulcan panicked before he realised he was still slightly drunk and glancing at his captain he realised substantially less then Jim who was wobbling on his heels, sighing as he reached his door.

The captain leant heavily on the wall next to his door and smiled at the vulcan who made his way over, slowly as though walking on eggshells. Spock sighed when he reached Jim, reaching out and placing both hands on his hips, leaning his forehead against the swaying man.

Jim giggled "I guess you're not used to getting drunk."

Spocks lips twitched and he took a breath, Jims scent filling his nose. "No, I find it…an interesting experience."

Jim smiled and tilted his head connecting his lips with Spocks, pressing tongue against the vulcans in a soft slow kiss. He pulled back licking his lips "Goodnight Jim."

He made a move to head towards his own quarters and for the second time that night he found that Jim would not let him go. He turned back and raised an eyebrow at Jims frowning face "Nope. Not tonight, tonight you are sleeping in our bed."

Spock frowned back "Our bed?"

Jim beamed at him "Yep. Now we are out there is no way you are going back to your quarters. I want some hot vulcan ass in my bed right now."

Spock blushed, his mouth hanging open in shock. Jim laughed and turned in his grasp, placing his hands over Spock so the vulcan couldn't let him go as they walked in tandem through the door and towards the bed.

The captain grabbed Spocks forearm and using a wrestling technique gently threw him onto the mattress, leaving the commander sprawling on his back staring up at his t'hy'la.

Jim grinned down and slowly removed his jacket, Spock taking the time to shuffle up the bed so he was leaning against the pillows, arms at his side. He felt unsure, not knowing how Jim intended this to go, excitement building in his gut at the simple prospect of sleeping next to him.

He looked up when he felt the mattress dip, the captain was crawling up the bed, coming to a rest on Spocks hips so he was straddling him hands busy as he unfastened the stiff black fabric, carefully removing it from his lover and throwing it across the room.

"There, much more comfortable"

He was mumbling again and Spock reached out lifting a hand to his chin so that he would look him in the eye "I am proud of you Jim."

He was confident that this was the correct response this time and smiled when Jim beamed at him crouching over his chest in a intimate hug. Spock rubbed his face in Jims fluffy blonde hair pulling back and wincing when he realised he had left a black streak across the golden strands, his drawn on moustache now smudged and blurry on his face.

Jim looked up and laughed "You wanna get that off your face?"

Spock nodded and Jim lifted himself off his lover and grabbing him by the hand pulling him from the bed. Spock blushed and Jim looked down realising how strong he was holding onto the vulcans hand and let go blushing bright red.

"Whoops. Sorry love."

Spock said nothing he just raised an eyebrow and walked carefully to the bathroom, frowning at his face in the mirror. Most of his jaw and nose were smudged with black, his eye patch pushed up on his forehead, sticky pink lip marks from Uhura kissing him on the cheek after their last dance together vibrant against his pale skin.

He was a mess and shuddered, the idea of being unclean filling him with disgust. He washed his face quickly so he could return to the room and his t'hy'la as soon as possible whilst still maintaining his perfectly groomed exterior.

Spock removed his boots and exited the bathroom stopping in the doorway, his eyes drawn to Jims relaxed smile, hands behind his head feet crossed as he stretched out in the pillows no wearing just his regulation black underwear.

Spock sucked in a deep breath and crossed the room, standing awkwardly next to the bed.

"Get down here stupid."

Spock blushed again and sat down next to the captain who scrunched himself up so he was kneeling on the edge, waiting for Spock to return back to his previous position so he could straddle him again.

For a moment they just sat there, looking at each other relaxed matching smiles and the vulcan reached out cupping Jims jaw, surprised that for once he did not feel the pressure of his desire to meld and he was at peace to simply sit with Jim in silence.

The captain wrinkled his nose and leant in kissing Spock softly, before sitting back heavily running his hands up and down Spocks sides fingering the thin fabric of the undershirt as he frowned opening and closing his mouth as if to say something he couldn't phrase.

"Yes Jim?"

Jim looked up at him "She hit me."

He said it quickly as thought he had been holding it back for long time and he let out a deep breath, folding in on himself as though a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Spock carefully held back the flare of rage that flooded his mind and gently placed his hands on Jim's biceps, waiting patiently for him to look back up.

"_Wow_. I… I feel strangely high right now."

Spock said nothing he merely rubbed circles with his thumbs as Jim breathed deeply his eyes closed. "I didn't think I'd tell anyone, I mean it's kind of embarrassing to still be scared of a 90 pound old woman isn't it. It's just when I was a kid…she was-"

He shook his head eyes on his own fingers as he plucked and picked at Spocks tee. "She was _terrifying_, I used to live for the weeks she would spend off planet, leaving me alone, they were the best times. I used wait until her car left and I couldn't see it anymore from my bedroom window and I had this rucksack, it was ratty thing with only one strap and holes I'd sewn up myself all over it. I used to fill it with food and my torch and my dad's old knife and I'd creep out the backdoor, hiding from whichever creep she had been dating.

I used to walk for miles and miles, sometimes I'd even sleep somewhere out there in the fields because I was alone there, and even if she came back she wouldn't find me. But I'd always go back, I had to, I was just a _kid_.

She would come home and straight away she'd find me, no matter how hard I hid in the house she would sniff me out like a bloodhound and she'd pinch me. She'd pinch me so hard I'd be covered in little black and blue circles, just because I wasn't waiting for her orders at the door when she got home, even if I did wait she'd just berate me for hours for not working hard whilst she was away and not praying enough.

Then I would have to do my chores, cooking her meals, cleaning the dishes, cleaning the house and the worst was copying out verses from the bible for hours on end, pen tied to my hand and me tied to the chair so I couldn't get up, I was supposed to stay there silent, no fidgeting, no bathroom breaks, no sleeping.

But I would _always_ fall asleep and she'd…she'd beat me and I couldn't get away I was tied to this fucking chair, just a little kid, a defenceless little kid and she would hit me until I passed out and I'd wake up still on the chair, I used to be thankful, happy even when I woke up and she had untied me so I wouldn't have to struggle my way out.

Then I'd have to get up to do my chores because if I didn't she'd beat me again. I was _pathetic_; I never stood up to her not even when I grew a foot taller than her."

Spock pressed his lips together, but it seemed that Jim was done, his beautiful blue eyes rimmed pink, salty tears running down his face and dripping on the strip of bare flesh the captain had exposed.

"You have no reason to be ashamed Jim."

Jim laughed, wiping his nose on his arm sniffing. "Yeah, _right."_

Spock raised an eyebrow "It is logical to fear someone who has caused pain before, and it is logical that this would continue past the stage where it would be deemed reasonable to assume she could physically control you."

Jim titled his head wiping his eyes "I love you."

Spock frowned "I love you too?"

Jim laughed hiccupping a little "Only you could listen to me recount the hell that was my childhood, something that even Bones doesn't really know about and tell me it's _logical._"

Spock titled his head frowning "It _is_ logical."

Jim chuckled weakly leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "I feel so much better you know, I thought about doing this millions of times. Thanks."

Spock licked his lips moving his hands down to Jims hips "Nyota often explained to me that humans find recalling their experiences or emotions to others a relaxing experience akin to meditation where they can get feedback on possible options or support."

Jim looked at him oddly "Seriously? You're mentioning your ex whilst I'm wearing just my boxers and straddling you?"

Spock looked at him quizzically and Jim laughed. "It doesn't matter… I think I'm sober now."

Spock took a second to asses himself "I believe I am no longer intoxicated."

Jim smiled and laid his head on Spocks chest, still crouched over his hips. "Lights"

The lights went out and Spock keen eyesight enabled him to pick out Jims eyes in the gloom. He was staring up at Spock and the vulcan concluded that Jim did not think he could see him. Jim was biting his lip and he let out a quiet huff of breath before closing his eyes the cool of his skin sinking through Spocks tee, strong thighs on either side of his hips gripping him tightly.

After a few minute Spock realised Jim had fallen asleep, his face still slightly pink from his emotional outburst, softly snoring as his hand clenched and unclenched on Spocks wrist.

The vulcan lifted his other hand and placed it on the bare skin of Jims back.

"Good night Jim"


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Okay guys, lots of fluff today although there is a hint of plot in this one. Thanks again to all my reviewers you guys are the best 3

When Spock awoke the next morning he panicked for the briefest second hands flying up and gripping Jims shoulder. He paused staring down at the sleeping man; his quiet snuffles the only sound beside their breathing and the steady thump of their hearts. Spock sighed into the warm morning air, his legs stiff from where Jim had been crouching on him, his usually busy mind slow, silent.

He licked his lips, gently running his hands through the stiff blonde hair still fluffy from his shower the night before, fragrant and silky. The vulcan's mouth twitched in a contented smile and he titled his head slowly pushing Jim to the side silently sliding from the bed, pulling the duvet over his lover now that Spock's body heat wasn't there to warm him.

For a moment he just watched, hoping he had not interrupted his lovers REM sleep which he knew was important for proper rest, and he sighed with relief when Jim simply sniffed and shifted slightly on the sheets eyes still closed, eyelashes fluttering slightly as he dreamt. The first officer turned his back resisting the urge to return to the bed, to cling to Jims cool comfortable body forever. He sped up as he reached the door striding with purpose into the bathroom before he could relent.

He stripped quickly throwing his dirty trouser, boxers and black t-shirt into the laundry receptacle, sliding into the shower and covering himself with suds as his mind wandered to the sleeping man next door. It had surprised him, the lust and the urge to meld that lingered in every touch, in every glance he shared with Jim. He had never experienced such passion before and he found himself fighting to keep to Jim's insistence they moved slowly, pausing his ministrations as he was struck by an idea. Spock smiled shampooing his hair as it formulated in his mind.

Stepping out of the shower he wrapped a black towel around his waist and entered his own quarters pulling his uniform from his drawers and placing them on the unused bed. Silently he slowly pulled on his boxers, stretching in the cooler air in his quarters, his joints popping and clicking as he moved. He leant over the bed, reaching for the comb and small mirror he kept in his bedside unit. A quiet moan sending shock through his mind as he stood spinning on his heels, no indication of his surprise gifted to the intruder.

Jim was leant against the doorframe, hand over his beetroot face, eyes peering through the gaps in his fingers.

"_Jesus_ Spock, I said I want to take this slowly!"

Spock raised an eyebrow and turned away slightly, crossing his arms, Jim's eyes trailing up and down his semi-naked form making embarrassment flare in his mind, his heart thumping. "It is no fault of mine if you choose to watch me dress."

"I didn't though! I woke up all alone." he pouted crossing his arms "So I got dressed and then I saw the doors were open so I wandered through in case you were still here and I look in only to see your hot vulcan ass bent over the bed like that!"

His pout intensified and he narrowed his eyes, and Spock placed his hands behind his back "My apologies. You may leave if you prefer it."

Jim laughed "No no I never said that."

"Very well."

Spock bowed his head and approached the bed lifting his uniform trousers and unfolding them, looking up through his lashes at Jim as he bent down sitting on the bed, trying to asses his reaction. Pulling the fabric slowly up his legs, he kept his eyes locked on Jims only looking away as he got to his feet, diligent fingers closing the clasp with a snap, carefully smoothing his hands over his stomach and down his backside.

Jim gulped and bit his thumb and Spock smiled internally these being an indication of arousal, and he turned lifting the black tee above his head placing his arms in the sleeves. Pulling the tight fabric slowly down his chest, he tensed his stomach muscles as they disappeared beneath the cloth, Jims gasp audible only barely behind his fist as he bit down on his knuckles.

Spock turned and tilted his head at the captain allowing his passion to shine in his eyes, mind focussing and dissecting every twitch of Jim's lips, every flicker of an eyelid. The captain suddenly groaned and strode forwards pushing his lover onto the bed leaning over him as he attached his plump lips to his vulcans neck.

Spock grunted and grabbed him by the forearms closing his eyes as Jims lips moved up and his tongue darted into his mouth, his strong fingers slid up into his hair, scraping across his skull and the vulcan flipped them over pressing his leg between Jims thighs and moaning as his captains cool hand slipped under his shirt.

Suddenly Jim tensed and pushed him away, Spock landing on the floor panting heavily as he stared up in shock at his lover. Jim's eyes were closed and he slumped backwards a hand rising to his face as he caught his breath, chest heaving hand dropping to his side after a moment.

Spock just stared up trying to school his expression, his stomach squirming and flipping, mind cloudy with confusion as he watched, motionless, as his t'hy'la lay on the bed.

The captain sat up and after a second he sighed "God_damn_… that was close. You know I almost…."

He trailed off when he saw the wounded glint in Spocks eyes. The vulcan stood quickly, eyes to the floor hesitating for a brief moment before he strode over to the bed, plucking the blue over shirt from the crumpled sheets and pulling it quickly over his head, his cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

He knew it was illogical and that all the evidence pointed to the contrary but he couldn't help thinking that perhaps Jim wanted to take it slow because he wasn't attracted to Spock, perhaps he just felt pity for the vulcan.

To his surprise the captains strong finger wrapped around his wrist as he turned to leave forcing him to look up and into the shining azure eyes, carefully blocking the remaining hurt and fear so that his face was as expressionless as ever and he could give nothing away.

"Spock?"

He said nothing, he simply stared down at the floor gently trying to pull his wrist from Jims grasp "Spock, don't do this. I know what you're thinking."

He looked up his eyes narrowing slightly hand wrenching from Jims grasp "You cannot know you have no telepathic ability."

Jim stood up and placed a hand on Spocks chest the other moving from his wrist, combing slowly through his hair. "I might not be able to read other peoples minds, but I sure can read you. You think I don't find you hot don't you, that's exactly what you were thinking just then."

Spocks mouth dropped open and he titled his head "That is impossible."

"Nope it really isn't. I know that because I know _you_ and so despite the fact you are perfect in every way and are supremely confident on the surface, I know that deep down in that big brain of yours you still have low self esteem."

Spock said nothing he simply closed his mouth and looked at Jims feet "Look at me."

Spock did not look up and Jim sighed using a finger to lift his chin staring into his eyes, eyebrows knotted "Spock, I love you. I think you are the hottest thing in goddamn universe and all the other universes, and it's _because_ of that I don't want to sleep with you. Not yet. Every other relationship I've had has _started_ with me sleeping with someone and they never lasted, not one. I never did the 'dating' thing and I just… I wanted to try it. Now that I found the person I'm going to be with forever it's going to be my last chance."

Spock licked his lips Jims words echoing across his mind, the last sentence repeating over and over.

"You wish to remain with me forever."

Jim blushed and bit his lip but maintained eye contact, eyes bright with nervous energy "Well… yeah… you're not freaked out are you?"

Spock smiled his chest swelling with warmth and love. "No t'hy'la I too intend on remaining with you. If this is your last chance to experience 'dating' than I cannot take it from you. I will not."

Jim smiled "So you understand that I do want to sleep with you, I just… don't want to right now."

Spock nodded and Jim sighed dropping his head to Spocks shoulder. "See I don't know what I did to deserve you, most people would've been out the door by now."

Spock said nothing, he simply held Jim loosely before letting go and stepping back, content smile still gracing his features. It was Jim and only Jim who could take him through so many emotions in a brief conversation. Lust, love, confusion, fear, pain, happiness and joy all in just five minutes. He reached out and Jim instantly joined their fingers as though he was expecting it, a wide grin almost splitting his face in two. Spock turned to the door his smile fading to his usual stoic expression as he slipped away from his lover and into the cool corridor.

Throughout his shift amongst the equations and calculations the words 'going to be with forever' echoed in his mind and every time he turned or glanced over his shoulder Jims eyes were on him, brilliant blue anchors in the fast moving bridge. Spock smiled internally, simple happiness resounding through his being, filling him with a warm glow that threatened to break into a beaming smile on the bridge.

As the shift ended he waited patiently for the captain, ignoring the pointed stares and sly grins as the crew filed out, winking at Jim who blushed and glanced sideways at his lover, a nervous twitch of his eyebrow as he waited for the crew to leave.

Together they waited for an empty turbolift and stood in silence as it began to descend, Jim relaxing slightly "So… I decided I'm going to go talk to her."

Spock looked down and reached out grasping Jims wrist in what he hoped was a comforting manner. "Good luck Jim."

He smiled weakly "Thanks."

"I will be in my office."

Jim grinned "Thanks, I'll come find you later then."

Spock smiled too and slipped his hand down brushing their fingertips together as the doors slid open and the captain strode away down the opposite corridor.

Spock pursed his lips at the readings on the small blue screen, tutting and entering them into the PADD, glancing up as the lab doors slid open, no other science officer looked up and Spock felt pride allowing it to flood his mind.

His scientists were always focussed; always engrossed and passionate about their work to the exclusion of distractions and that was what made them the best in the fleet.

"Spock?"

Spock stood and titled his head in greeting walking past the confused man and into his office. After a brief pause McCoy followed him in, crossing his arms and frowning.

"What is this about?"

Spock placed the PADD on his desk and looked closely at the doctor, trying to ignore the nervous ball in his stomach "What is Jim's favourite food?"

McCoy rolled his eyes "I'm not going to be the in-between in your relationship for the rest of my bloody life."

Spock said nothing he simply raised an eyebrow pushing his chin out, mild irritation flickering past his blocks. "Fine, whatever. I don't really know what his favourite is, I don't think he has one."

Spock frowned turning away slightly, disappointment rising in his mind. "Why? You going to cook for him or something?"

Spock blushed lightly and glanced at the doctor "He has professed a wish to go on something he calls a date and from what I've seen I can only conclude it involves a meal of some sort."

McCoys shoulders slumped and he put a hand to his face groaning quietly "What did I do to deserve this?"

Spock frowned remembering Jim's words from earlier in the morning and Bones sighed walking forwards and leaning on the desk, eyes dark with anger lips twitching with his annoyance.

"_Look_ the type of food isn't the important part; it's the talking and being alone with the person. It's supposed to be romantic."

Spock titled his head "I see."

McCoy glared up at him and ran a hand through his hair "Spock, if you honestly want to learn about dates that must mean you haven't been on one before?"

Spock raised an eyebrow "That is correct."

McCoy frowned "What about Nyota?"

The vulcan sighed "We met at the academy and could not risk our situation being discovered."

McCoy frowned "The academy doesn't have any rules against it."

"It was not the academy that Nyota was worried about. It was the other students." His tone was frosty, and he fought to keep it from continuing.

McCoy nodded "Oh right. "

He crossed his arms hand on his chin "Look all you do is book a table at a restaurant, pick him up, drink wine, chat, walk him home and then you give him the goodnight kiss. That is how the date is measured."

Spock sighed, frustration pushing against his blocks. "Measured?"

"Well if it's a good kiss then he had a good time, if its reluctant or really short then he didn't."

Spock felt panic rising in the back of his mind and carefully blocked it.

"Thank you."

McCoy laughed "You're panicking now aren't you?"

Spock blushed a pale green and glared at the doctor. He could not understand how the humans he had been around for so long had suddenly gotten so perceptive.

A quiet hiss and Spocks office door slid open revealing Jims bemused smile "Bones?"

McCoy turned to him and the captain glanced from him to Spock his eyebrows knitted in a frown.

"Hey"

"What's going on?"

Jims hand slipped down the doorframe and he took a small step across the boundary prompting the vulcan to step forwards to explain McCoy beating him to it "I was just checking to see if he had the report on that virus that almost killed you."

Spock internally thanked the doctor reminding himself to thank him later, he _had_ in fact written the report, fighting off the medical personnel for the right to report such an interesting case, his protective nature getting the better of him as their excitement sickened him.

Turning he reached into his desk and handed the doctor the PADD nodding as McCoy smirked at him. When the doctor had left Jim walked up to the desk and placed his weight on one hip his fingers reaching out and playing with the shining silver light on Spocks desk his other arm wrapped around his waist.

"So…"

The commander relaxed from his usual stoic pose and walked forwards pulling on his captain's arm, his electric blue eyes roaming Spocks features a nervous quirk to his lips and he began to whisper "I talked to her." His voice was so quiet that Spock could barely hear him, eyes wide with anxiety.

Spock gripped him by the wrist and pulled him towards his chest, Jims arms sliding around his waist, their chests brushing as their lips bumped gently together, a silent embrace that relaxed the shorter mans tense shoulders. Spock licked along his plump bottom lip pressing delicate kisses to the corner of his lovers mouth, Jims jaw slack, his eyes closed as he leant into the strong arms and all encompassing heat.

When they pulled back he smiled warmly, his gaze softer and sighed, hands clenching around the taller mans waist. "I want you to talk to her too. I just… I want her to know how brilliant you are and I should be able to introduce my lover to my own mother, plus I think you deserve an apology."

Spock raised an eyebrow and said nothing. Jim titled his head hand trailing up Spocks back, over his shoulder and up to his cheek. "Please?"

Spock closed his eyes, lost in the smooth cool palm his mind swimming with love and trust. "If you wish it."

Jim smiled and pulled away grabbing his slender wrist as he led him from the lab. Spocks science officers ignored the couple completely, instead crowding around a test tube held up by a senior officer excited murmurs filling the room and he smiled almost imperceptibly, Jims strong pull dragging him from the room. Together they walked towards Jims mothers room; Spock could almost feel Jim's anxiety as they approached the door, his brow creasing more and more the closer they got.

Jim stepped in front of him as the doors opened and entered the room his eyes instantly drawn to the glaring woman in the corner. She was seated at the small table her legs crossed elegantly, cold eyes boring into the vulcan as he followed the captain.

Jim strode forwards and stood, hands on hips in the centre of the room his anxiety gone; replaced by cool confidence, as he stared directly at his mother. Shifting to his side, hand on hip he faced Spock and gestured for the vulcan to join him. After a moments pause the commander walked forward and came to a halt almost hip to hip with his lover, Jims hand sliding down and touching his wrist gently.

Kirks mother's eyes squinted even further and she flinched when Jim moved his hand to Spocks waist, three fingers pressing into the small of his back. "Mother, this is Spock. He is my partner and I would like you to apologise to him for your xenophobic comments and outrageous behaviour."

Spock placed his hands behind his back brushing two fingers against Jims curled palm as he leant his wrist against the shorter mans. She snorted "I have nothing to apologise for."

Spock tilted his head "Your comments were offensive and unfounded."

She stood suddenly, thin clawed finger pointed at him "You just _being_ here is offensive."

Jim stepped forward and using the back of his hand batted her finger away his eyes a dangerous sparkling blue, the intensity of his glare shocking Spock. He clenched his hand around Jim's wrist in warning and the man visibly relaxed.

"You _will_ apologise."

She crossed her arms "I see no reason to."

Jim sighed and turned to Spock staring into his eyes for a mere moment their hands connecting behind his back and Spock blinked as his mind spoke loudly to the vulcan's, the effort Jim put in amplifying the voice until it was shouting in his mind.

"Sorry love I thought she might have the humility to apologise. Clearly I was wrong."

Spock turned to him and smiled projecting his love and trust and understanding through their touch.

Kirks mother eyed them suspiciously "What are you doing?"

Spock turned to her "Excuse me madam but as you will not apologise I have no reason to be here."

He turned on the spot revealing his and Jims joined hands as he let go striding out of the door. Two minutes later Jim joined him outside the door a wide smile on his face as he strutted up to the vulcan spinning on the spot and shaking his hips.

"Uh uh _yeah_. Check. Me. Out."

He laughed put his hands on his hips and pushed his waist forwards hips swinging side to side. Spock frowned, unsure of what to say, Jim was behaving oddly his obvious happiness not correlating with an encounter with his mother.

Jim stopped swinging his hips and stared up at Spock rolling his eyes when he saw the vulcans confused expression. "Look you don't have to understand it. Just be happy for me okay?"

Spock tilted his head "I am…pleased by your happiness."

Jim beamed and grabbed Spocks wrist dragging him down the hall, something the vulcan began to suspect was becoming a habit of Jims.

"Cmon, it's getting late and I wanted to try something…"

Spock waited patiently on the bed his legs crossed, bare feet tucked under his legs, back against the wall as he waited for Jim to return, quick eyes unaccustomed to the slightly dimmed lights. He was curious as to the things Jim wanted to try, but so far his questions had been unanswered and the captain was in such a good mood he decided not to pry.

He looked up at Jim appeared in the doorway, plain white tee and light blue pyjama bottoms clinging slightly to his frame. Wide grin lighting up his shining blue eyes, shoulders relaxed as he padded across the floor and crept up the bed. Spock remained silent having already lowered his blocks whilst Jim was showering he simply allowed his contentment and peace to flow to his features, his lips curved in a soft smile and eyes warm with adoration for the captain.

Jim stopped about three inches away, crossing his own legs and leaning back on his arms; t-shirt rumpled and pulled up slightly revealing a tiny thin strip of smooth pale skin. Spock sniffed the air closing his eyes at the now familiar scent of warm citrus mixed with cotton invading his mind sending shivers down his spine. When he opened them again Jim was gazing at him, corners of his eyes creased in amusement.

"So… first things first I wanted to try melding with you…" he waited for a response but Spock said nothing, his fingers twitching in the sheets eyes growing slightly with shock as he tried to resist the impulse to attach himself to his mind.

Jim's lips twitched "But we don't have too… I know its kind of a big deal and I'm not really sure how big of a thing it is so I thought…just throw it out there… thoughts?"

Spock licked is lips mouth opening and closing a few times heart thumping in his side as he asked himself over and over 'Can we do this? Can we?'. He had wanted it for so long that he feared that given the chance he would lose himself in Jims mind.

"I want to meld with you Jim."

The captain beamed at him and Spock frowned, stomach flipping as he continued his sentence.

"But I am not able to. "

Jims smile faltered and he raised an eyebrow blushing slightly "Why...why not?"

Spock reached out and pressed two fingers to Jim's clenched fist in an attempt to lighten his mood, to apologise for alleviating his hopes and then dashing them.

"Jim, if I do not have control then I could lose myself in your mind. It could destroy us both."

Jim bit his lip and his hands relaxed as he shifted himself towards the vulcan his head titled to the side, feet now brushing against Spocks.

"Well... how do you get control? I thought you do that literally 24/7?"

Spock smiled "Under the usual circumstances I do. However Jim, you seem to have a rather unsettling effect on me."

The captain laughed and blushed deeply "You sure know how to flatter a guy."

Spock watched as Jim grinned quietly into the sheets waiting for the eye contact to resume. He could tell Jim was disappointed because he himself wished it could be different and so he frowned.

For a moment they just sat in comfortable silence until Spock was struck by an idea "Perhaps Jim we can use the Wolpe's method of systematic desensitisation."

Jim looked up frowning, his blush deepening by the second.

"Uh...what is that?"

Spock leant forward, suddenly excited for his idea. A positive method that would lead them on a path towards the ability to meld.

"We begin with small steps, slowly increasing the contact through measured levels until we reach the ultimate goal. A safe meld."

Jims nose twitched and he grinned "And what do you suggest is the first step?"

The vulcan instantly lifted a finger and pressed it to Jims hand, focussing and concentrating on pushing his love through. "Since you have already achieved sending me words through hand connection, I believe that would be the correct starting point."

Jim laughed and crawled up the bed, curling himself into Spocks side, hand sliding under his t-shirt fingers splayed over heated flesh.

"Sounds good to me."

He lifted his hand and Spock gently laced his won palm to palm a vibrant green blush flooding his cheeks. Jim's eyes slid closed and he frowned, concentrating hard.

Spock just stared at him, long blonde lashes brushing flushed smooth cheeks, plump soft lips curved in a gentle smile. He was stunning, a marble figure in a world of wooden statues.

Jim's eyes suddenly flung open and he blushed a vibrant red, mouth dropping open to a face splitting smile. "I heard that… in my mind."

Spock dropped his head and Jim giggled "What's that it's… it …you're embarrassed aren't you."

Spock looked up and he could feel Jims' mind brushing against his, humour love and vague words fluttering past. He concentrated harder and Jims voice exploded in his mind "_Fuck_ he is so fucking sexy. When he bent over the bed, those boxers tight around his perfect arse fuuuuck what am I doing saying no. What are you doing Kirk you bloody idiot _fuck_ fuck fuck I wish I could fuck fuck…."

Spock pulled his hand away and Jim looked at him strangely "What?"

Spock felt a strange impulse bubbling inside of him and he released it in the form of a low awkward chuckle. Jims eyes grew wide and he reached out hand touching Spocks face "Did you just laugh at me!"

Spock closed his mouth but was unable to hide his grin. Jim laughed his hand clenching by Spocks neck as he shuddered with glee, his loud booming laugh slowly fading to a weaker giggle.

"What was so funny that it made you laugh?"

Spock replaced his palm against Jims and concentrated on the words he had heard, sending them swirling into Jims mind a flood of embarrassment washing over his mind from the other side.

"Oh"

Spock sighed and wrapped two fingers around Jims rubbing slightly, and his lover yawned hand slipping from his grasp, curling to a fist as he raised it to his mouth.

"Perhaps you should rest t'hy'la."

Jim pouted and leant sideways pressing insistent kisses to the vulcan's jaw, hand creeping up his stomach, fingers curling in his chest hair brushing over his collarbone.

"Aw cmon… we could stay up for a while."

Spock closed his eyes, shaking his head slightly, still amused by his lovers insistent flirting.

"It is not what you want. Good night Jim"

Slipping under the sheets Spock lay on his back already mourning the loss of the cool palm on his skin. But he did not mourn for long as the captain grumbled loudly, making a fuss of pulling the sheets back and shuffling over to Spock.

A strong hand slid over his stomach, knees pressed to the side of Spocks legs, lips agonisingly close to his ear. Spock shivered as a puff of heated air danced across his cheekbone, those enticing fingers tracing patterns on his stomach.

Spock sighed and rolled sideways so his legs locked into Jims, back pressed against his cool chest, breath now ghosting over the back of his neck. The shorter man chuckled making the vulcan shudder, Spock pressing backwards as strong arms encircled him, feet entwining in his.

"Good night love."


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N: Okay guys. So I had a little break in exams so here is another little chap. Little bit of drama. R&R 3_

When Spock awoke Jim was curled up in a foetal position in front of him, toes pressed into the front of his thighs, hand reaching out lying against the skin of his stomach, the other grazing his collarbone. For a second he just lay there considering that Jim must've woken earlier and returned to the bed, his eyes opening slowly as he blinked up at Spock, a soft smile floating across his features.

"Good morning."

"Good morning t'hy'la."

They just stared at each other for a moment before Spock forced himself to pull away, sliding backwards until he could turn and sit up on his side of the bed, feet planted firmly on the floor, hairs rising on his arms in the cool light of dawn.

He glanced around, a small thrill shooting through his veins at the thought that they owned this room, this bed, _together_.

Jim groaned behind him, icy fingers scraping at the bare skin of his back as the captain tried to grab him, pull him back to bed. Spock smiled at the wall pointedly ignoring his lover's protests as he stood, striding to the bathroom to begin his morning routine.

On the bridge Jim was relaxed, grinning and making jokes with the crew.

"Approaching star base 15 captain, eta one hour twelve minutes."

Jim beamed and stood patting Chekov on the back. The ensign blushed and glanced at Sulu who chuckled smiling at the captain and his obvious joy that filled the bridge.

After a moment Jim spun on the spot dropping into his chair and pressing buttons seemingly at random.

"This is your captain speaking. In approximately… "

He paused glancing at Chekov "One hour nine minutes captain."

"_One_ hour and nine minutes we will be docking at star base 15. All off duty personnel will be assigned shore leave for four days. That is all."

He beamed at his crew lounging in his chair, eyes trailing across the room and up Spock's legs. The vulcan stiffened, he could feel eyes on him his instincts flaring as his muscles tensed, ears straining for noise.

Tilting his head, he remained at his station pretending to read the screens, carefully considering that there was only one person on the bridge who would keep their eyes on him this long. After a moment he heard a distinct huff of breath and then the captain began to whisper, his voice only just high enough for the vulcan to hear.

"Spoooock, oh Spoooock. Won't you come on over, Spoooock."

He sighed, ignoring the illogical pleasure that flooded his mind when he dared to think about Jim singling him out, calling for him when he needed something, he _needed_ Spock. Picking up his PADD and turning, he paused for just a second to slow his rushed pace before approaching the chair. It was illogical to be excited by the simple act of walking towards the captain.

"Mr Scotts application to remain aboard during shore leave to update the ships computer systems captain."

Jim beamed up at him, brushing his fingers over Spocks hand as he reached for the PADD, smug grin on his face as Spock blushed lightly, the images he had received sending simultaneous thrills and embarrassment flooding his mind. Jim unfortunately had clearly been practicing his mental skills.

"Thank you Spock. Need an overhaul do we?" Jim glanced down at the PADD scrawling his signature messily at the bottom as he handed it back to the vulcan.

"The current system is sufficient."

Jim chuckled "Well you know Scotty, updating the computer systems is like a week on a pleasure planet for him."

Spock simply raised an eyebrow opening his mouth to reply when Uhura interrupted "Message from Admiral Pike captain."

Jim sighed "On visual please."

Suddenly Pikes face appeared on the screen, his eyes instantly landing on the captain and his first officer. "Jim, Spock, I'm glad I caught you before you beamed down."

Jim smiled waving a hand slightly, and the vulcan turned bowing his head in greeting, hands behind his poker straight back.

"I just received a message from father Jack, he wishes to talk to you and your mother as soon as you land. He also said that your crew is welcome anywhere on the base apart from the nunnery and monastery."

Jim raised an eyebrow at Spock and grinned at the admiral "Okay, I'll make sure they know."

Christopher nodded and waved a hand the screen going blank after a few moments, Jim sighed, a hand on his brow.

"_Great_. A private little meeting just you, me, my mother and one of the most powerful men in the church… this is all that I need."

His voice was low, frustration evident. Spock sighed empathising with his stress and frustration. It seemed that they would have to wait for a while longer for Jim's mothers' presence to abscond.

"Father Jack did not request my presence Jim."

The captain rolled his eyes waving a hand "Don't be ridiculous, if I'm going so are you."

Spock blinked accepting that he would simply leave at the father's discretion. He sighed inwardly silently hoping that it would not come to that.

"I myself am looking forward to discussing some of the father's theories concerning the search for god in distant galaxies."

Jim gaped at him "Since when have you read anything by father Jack?"

Spock blushed opening his mouth to explain when a young science officer entered the bridge striding up to the commander fingers wrapped around a PADD.

"Commander?"

Spock closed his mouth wiping his embarrassment from his eyes as he turned to the stocky man, dark fluffy hair and bushy eyebrow over wide gray eyes, excitement clear in his erratic breathing and tense shoulders. He sighed internally, thankful for the interruption, carefully returning himself to the neutrality he used on the bridge.

"Yes Mr Foyley?"

"There has been an interesting breakthrough on the Hurg fever treatment… It is urgent that you see the results of the latest tests. They are most illuminating."

Spock almost smiled his pride obvious to Jim as he watched the first officer listen carefully and intently to the science officer, light in his eyes as he carefully considered a response. For Spock he was practically beaming.

"If you will excuse me for a moment I must complete my report here. Set up the results and I will follow directly."

The science officer ducked his head smiling, eyes flickering to Jim and back. "Yes Commander."

Abruptly he turned on his heel sprinting from the room. Spock watched him leave, twisting to face Jim, a soft smile in his eyes.

"_Hurg_ fever?"

Spock glanced down moving his hands to his sides, face as emotionless as ever, eyebrow quirked as he recited his explanation. "Yes captain. Doctor McCoy and I are aware that you in particular are susceptible to Hurg fever now that you have suffered it once. Therefore it appeared advantageous to synthesis a treatment that you would not have such a severe allergic reaction to in case of future occurrences."

Jim tilted his head lips pursing, eyebrows raising "Aww that's so thoughtful."

Spock glanced at the bridge and found that no one was watching. "It was necessary."

Jim smiled sliding a hand over the arm of his chair, the vulcans hand naturally gravitating towards it as they both looked away, gently brushing their fingertips together as Spock turned to leave. A small thrill ran down his spine, and he buried the swell in his chest, it would not do well to allow his smile to break onto his face.

"Excuse me captain."

"You are excused."

"Docking at Star base 15 captain."

"Thank you Mr. Chekov."

"Transporter room to captain Kirk."

"Kirk here."

"Mrs Kirk and Mr. Spock are waiting for you captain."

Jim grinned and stood hand on hip, his voice cheerful and confident. "Okay guys. Remember you are acting as ambassadors for the enterprise so be kind, be quiet and be **good**. But don't forget to enjoy yourself and don't do anything I wouldn't do..."

He chuckled to himself spinning on his heels and striding from the room waving vaguely at his crew at they waved goodbye.

Spock waited patiently on the pad, back straight, eyes forward, mind clear apart from a niggling thought that floated in and out of his mind at whim. Just one word repeating endlessly. Jim Jim Jim, every time it whispered in his mind his mouth twitched involuntarily as he fought to stop a smile breaking out.

Suddenly the doors burst open and the captain strode into the room, wide smile on his face as he clapped his hands together, halting his weight on one hip eyes trained on Scotty.

"All right Mr. Scott beam us down to the north landing point if you will."

Scotty smiled at him "Aye captain."

Jim nodded his head and walked quickly over to the pad, hand brushing against Spocks hip as he walked past, ignoring his mothers upturned nose, her eyes boring into the opposite wall, waves of cold thinly veiled distaste flooding off her.

As Spock opened his eyes he took a step forward shivering slightly in the cold air that blew gently over the large empty gardens they were standing in.

The sky was a cool midnight blue, the grass vibrant deep green and springy under his feet as they walked forwards, following Jim towards the figure standing in the mist ahead.

They were alone and silence surrounded them apart from the sound of their heartbeats and the steady rush of their breath. It was clearly night-time here, not a soul to be seen outside of the buildings beside the massive figure ahead. Spocks sensitive hearing caught his heartbeat faintly and he concluded the figure was human, relaxing his tense muscles as he posed no threat.

Ahead stood a large silver building, bright yellow and blue lights shining out of short stubby windows along the massive structure, well lit bridges miles above, dark figures milling around in the distance and behind great glass windows the quiet thrum of hundreds of voices ebbing across the damp grass towards them. Jim beamed at the figure thrusting a hand towards the man a wide charming smile splitting his face in two.

"Father Jack?"

Spock stared at the man, head titling as he emitted his face to memory. He was tall, messy short peppery-brown hair and a scruffy beard over bushy grey streaked eyebrows, a pleasant smile and crinkled eyes a chilling almost white-blue. He spoke in a deep irish accent, voice low and quiet but commanding of respect.

"Captain Kirk."

He shook Jim's hands and let go, turning to the rest of the landing party. He bowed his head in greeting to Spock and finally turning to greet Jim's mother.

"And Winona, at last."

Mrs Kirk smiled and Spock resisted the urge to shiver, her teeth bared in a truly frightening grimace as she strode forwards, pushing past Spock to shake his hand. Father Jack smiled warmly at her placing a hand on her shoulder, guiding her towards the nearest door, glancing at Jim and Spock indicating they should follow. The vulcan glanced at his t'hy'la raising an eyebrow as he shrugged a bemused grin spreading over the captains face.

They were led through the gardens and into what appeared to be the backdoor of a store room, large bottles of mysterious liquid surrounded them, dim lights and a strong damp smell setting Spock on edge as his mind presented him with all the possible spores, bacteria and viruses that could be contained in the tight space.

Father Jack strode forward weaving amongst the packed shelves with practiced ease and threw open a hatch above them, sudden warm voices and tinkling laughter filtered down from the orange glow above.

He politely helped Winona up the steep ladders gesturing for Jim and Spock to go ahead of him Jim grinning as he strode forwards climbing up quickly his gasp audible to the vulcan who followed closely at his heels.

He frowned as he stood glancing round them, old fashioned wooden bar and heavily stocked shelves. Various aliens grouped around the room, blue fog filtering from a small squat creature in the corner its lazy green eye roaming the room ignoring the newcomers. The air was thick and pungent with smoke, odd shaped glasses field with bright liquids on tables and in hands of various strange creatures, their voices loud and suffocating in the large room.

Father Jack appeared behind him and chuckled herding the group towards a heavy wooden door at the end of the strip between the bar and the wall. Pushing it open he revealed a small, neat office area dominated by a large antique oak desk, bookshelves bursting with slips of paper and heavy leather bound volumes lined the walls, an enormous wingback chair was just behind the desk and three mismatched wooden chairs in front.

They filed in, sliding onto their seats the captain and his first sharing confused glances. Father Jack sat last, pulling open a deep drawer and lifting a tray holding four glasses and a large glass bottle, deep orange liquid glistening in the dim lights.

"I must admit it is surprising that Winona was being transported here in such a large and prestigious ship."

Winona leant forwards smug smirk spreading over her grim features "Well my husband was an influential man, he died a hero. It was simply luck that my son happened to be in command of the enterprise and that I came across him at the correct time."

Spock frowned, suspicion setting off warning signs in his mind. The correct time for what? He watched her carefully as she turned her eyes on him a triumphant glee filling him with dread. He carefully constructed his blocks, building it up and up so his mind was blank and he was prepared.

Jack turned to the vulcan pushing a glass towards him "I know that vulcans cannot appreciate the effects of alcohol, but I do think you would enjoy the taste."

Spock bowed his head respectively and Jim clutched his own glass thoughtfully "Father… I hate to ask but… you are a father and you own a bar? It isn't really what you'd expect…"

The older man laughed the sound booming around the claustrophobic room and he leant forwards, hand on his desk eyes boring into Jims "I figured if you cannot get the people to come to a house of God, then you should build a house they will come to."

Jim laughed and Spock allowed himself a polite smile, the stifling warmth filling the tight space, making him uncomfortable having come accustomed to the cooler temperatures humans favoured.

"That is a motto I can live by."

After a few seconds of silence Jacks intense eyes fixed on the commander and he took a gulp of his drink. "Excuse me sir, but what is your name?"

Spock raised his chin "My name is Spock."

Jacks eyebrows raised and his lips twisted into an amused smile. "Spock eh? That wouldn't be science officer Spock would it?"

Spock blinked "Affirmative."

Jack beamed at his slapping a hand down on the smooth wood. "Haha why didn't you say! I have wanted to meet you for a while."

Jim's eyes narrowed and he looked to his lover "What do you mean? Do you know each other?"

The question was more directed at Spock who blinked blankly at his captain, Jack answered his eyes now settling on the confused man. "Mr. Spock here contacted me a while ago wanting to talk about my theories; he is a very intelligent man."

Jim raised an eyebrow "Oh… how long ago exactly…"

Spock blushed slightly his voice quiet "After you expressed an interest in the fathers work I sought it out in an effort to create some form of common ground between us… I found his views fascinating."

The father glanced between them frowning slightly and Jim blushed deeply "Oh… you never mentioned…"

"There was not an appropriate moment."

They shared an awkward moment before father Jack interrupted "Well, I'd love to discuss it further a little later on if you want?"

Spock nodded at him ignoring the strange look he was receiving from Jim. "That would be agreeable."

A comfortable silence encased them, suddenly turning chilly as a polite cough broke it, all eyes falling on the proud woman her simpering smile focussed on Jack.

"Father if you would excuse me I asked for this private meeting for an important reason."

Jack raised an eyebrow at her but leant forwards politely "Yes Winona?"

"I believe James has been possessed by a demon set on him by… by that mutant."

She raised a shaking finger at Spock her voice wavering slightly. Father Jack glanced between the woman and Spock, only briefly glancing at the shocked furious gaze she was receiving from her son. He frowned, lips set in a straight line.

"A demon? "

"Yes, look at him, those ears that unnatural skin tone those dark eyes. He is clearly a demon and has corrupted my son."

Jims mouth closed and his eyes narrowed, the vulcan flinching as he could almost smell the fury emanating from him. Father Jacks own voice took on a dangerous tone "Corrupted? How has Mr. Spock corrupted your son?"

She smiled triumphantly "It _seduced_ him."

Father Jack raised an eyebrow and glanced at Spock who stared back at him, betraying nothing. Silently thanking himself for maintaining his block earlier.

"Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock is it true that you are involved in a homosexual relationship?"

Jim turned to him staring at the man suspiciously before reaching out arm and placing on Spocks shoulder, "Yes it is true."

Father Jack smiled at them his face unnervingly soft "I can only offer my congratulations. Your comment on my latest paper makes a lot more sense now that I understand your point of view Mr. Spock."

Spock smiled titling his head in acknowledgement and Jims anger seemed to fade replaced by disbelief and confusion.

"Thank you… but I thought… isn't it against your beliefs for me and Spock to you know… _exist_?"

Father Jack smiled "Oh no, we are all gods children, he chose to make you as you are so who are we to judge his work?"

Jim beamed at him and then at Spock who smiled warmly back at him. "That's a relief to hear."

Suddenly Jim's mother got to her feet, drawing herself to her full height, steely rage filled eyes scarring her beauty.

"Father Jack I am _disgusted_ by you. This heathen has corrupted my son, he has filled his head with evil filthy lies and you, you are _allowing_ this? Homosexuals deserve to go to hell, they **will** go to hell. It is unnatural it is wrong and it goes against everything the church believes in."

There was a beat of silence before father Jack stood, his chair flying backwards, his massive frame filling the room casting enormous black shadows across the walls, deep booming voice causing the once proud woman to cower in fear. His eyes burned like fire in his dark features and he glared full force at her, her flinching as though it were a physical touch.

"You **dare** twist the word of god in _my_ house! Be gone and repent, beg the lord for forgiveness for your closed minded evil words and pray for your soul."

Winona Kirk gazed up at him, glancing once at her son before rushing past, her flowing robes billowing behind her as she ran from the room. The father took a deep breath, the anger dissipating from his face and he slowly lowered himself back into the chair, opening his eyes, the warmth back in his smile, breathing and heart rate only slightly raised.

"I am sorry captain, commander I was not aware when I offered Winona the job that she held such extreme and outdated views."

Jim smiled "It is okay, I thought I had already dealt with that but I guess I was wrong."

Spock moved slightly closer to Jim brushing his hand over his t'hy'la's briefly reading his emotions, shock, relief and awe.

"It is thankfully an extremely rare opinion these days, we preach forgiveness, acceptance. We are all Gods children and he loves every single one of us and he loves who we love regardless of race, gender or species."

Jack smiled but Jims smile faltered slightly "What… what are you going to do with her?"

Spock licked his lips, shock jarring him in his mind. Jim still loved his mother after everything, he knew how much this meant to her and he was willing to bargain to keep her here.

Jack frowned putting his fingers together in thought "Well, the job position is still their, however I will be discussing acceptance with her, praying for her to learn the true message of our faith and in time I believe here at the church we can bring her round. My flock is wide ranging and she will have no choice but to learn the error of her ways"

Jim leant back in his chair hands to his forehead, Spock dipped forwards eyebrows lowered ever so slightly as worry buried itself in his chest "Jim are you alright?"

He took his hand away eyes wide, a wild smile on his face "Yeah I'm just a bit blown away to be honest. I mean coming here meeting a priest with his own bar, finding out my mother thinks I'm possessed and then watching her get told straight that what we have isn't evil, isn't wrong. It's all a bit much at the moment."

Spock nodded and placed his hands on Jims arm, eyes moving from his face to Jacks "I would have preferred father that we could have met under better circumstances. I will find discussing your theories in person to be an interesting and enlightening experience."

The father grinned at him, nodding "Perhaps once you are more settled here we can arrange something?"

Spock nodded and stood hands respectably behind his back "Perhaps we should meet up with the doctor Jim. He professed a wish to join us for a drink once we had finished here."

Father Jack stood too, mirroring Spocks posture "A doctor? Another friend of yours?"

Jim glanced between the two raising an eyebrow as he stood up, hand on Spocks waist "A priest with a bar…Bones is going to love you."

Jack tilted his head chuckling deeply as the vulcan led them from the room and back out to the bar, lifting the hinged area and walking round to hold it open for Jim to follow.

Father Jack leant on his bar and watched them interact with interest. "I'd like to meet this Bones sometime."

Jim turned to him and grinned "I'll bring him round later."


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N: OMG you guys thank you for the reviews! I love every one of you!. Hope you enjoy this one…I'm a bit unsure D:_

The cool air swirled and swept across the now almost pitch black walkways, the chill suddenly biting in comparison with the warm humid bar. Spock shivered and Jim gently bumped his shoulder against the vulcan suddenly awkward, silent.

As they walked Spock considered the conversation they had shared with father Jack. He had found the father was true to his warm friendly style of writing, and the clear intelligence Spock had read in their messages intrigued him as did the kindness of his heart.

He glanced sideways to Jim whose own azure gaze was fixed on the floor, trailing the winding weaving pale slabs his breathing slow and distinctly loud in the quiet paths. They walked between two buildings and the pale yellow glow sent his profile into contrast, Spocks mind catching itself a light flush covering his cheeks.

Random chance had acted in his favour when he had met Jim, and again when he had began his relationship with his t'hy'la. He was beautiful.

Suddenly the azure gaze fell on him and Spock titled his head Jims fingers reaching out and dragging across his wrist, eyebrows drawing together as he frowned.

They continued to walk as Jim continued to stare at their hands, tilting his head and humming lightly. "Jim?"

The captain looked up and smiled "You know it's weird...on earth, for humans holding hands is like… it's the simplest most innocent expression you know? But for you… for you it's like _well_." Jim looked up at him and grinned cocking an eyebrow "It's not all that innocent."

Spock blushed fighting to control his impulses and glanced both ways before stopping in his tracks and pulling Jim towards him. Slowly he lifted the shorter mans wrist and placed each of his fingertips to his lovers, dragging his nails slightly as he slid them down and interlocked their fingers, still being careful to keep their palms apart.

He grinned at the warm buzz of arousal flowing up his arm invading his mind and sending warm tendrils down his back. "This is true; I feel I receive the better deal in this situation."

He smiled wickedly at Jim and the captain laughed squeezing his fingers a little before removing them from Spocks grasp. "You think so huh?"

They turned and began to walk gain their pace slow and meandering. After a moment something occurred to Spock and he felt confusion and suspicion building behind his blocks. "Jim, I did not feel your mind against mine."

He blushed a little, facial muscles tensing slightly "Yeah I know…"

The vulcan frowned and Jim smiled shyly glancing first up at Spock then down at the floor. The science officer considered his demeanour and sighed internally, clearly he was embarrassed and hiding something "You have clearly been working on your mind control techniques."

He waited for Jim to reply but he said nothing "You would not know how to do this without guidance…you have been in contact with ambassador Selek."

Jim bit his lip "Yeah… I just… when you told me you could read my mind I thought… what if I'm trying to surprise you or something? Or what about me reading _your_ mind? You kind of had a unfair advantage and he said that obviously I wouldn't be able to get as good as you but….but if in the future I need to or if…if you want to bond or whatever I just thought it would be useful if I gave it a go you know."

Spock insides had seemed to shrink in the time it had taken for Jim to stammer out his explanation and he found he had to force his lungs to work, his heart to slow as he realised that Jim was preparing himself…preparing himself so that they could bond. Not only that he had expanded this attempt by contacting the ambassador, something he seemed to think Spock would having negative emotions concerning. It was puzzling.

"You wish to block me from your mind?"

Spock winced internally and quickly set up blocks to avoid feeling the embarrassment that came with his words. He had not meant to say that, but he realised that the hurt really was there and squinted at Jim trying to read his facial expressions.

He titled his head his face serious as he placed a hand on Spocks shoulder. "Listen to me. Its not that I don't want you in my mind, but I would like the option to stop you getting in there…or anybody else for that matter. Plus if I keep at this then I can...we can… anyway I mean if I get good just imagine the images I could send you, sounds smells the whole shebang."

He grinned and Spock closed his eyes in relief allowing his own matching grin to spread although he did not understand what this 'shebang' thing was.

"What did you think I was doing?"

The vulcan opened his eyes and titled his head his grin fading only slightly. "I had no prevailing theories."

They walked in contemplatative silence for while before Jim murmured under his breath hand fumbling in his pockets. "Well better call Bones down huh? I promised him a drink for being so understanding."

Spock raised an eyebrow glad that Jim was not touching him at that moment. The captain rolled his eyes "Oh don't make that face, you like him really."

Spock raised both eyebrows a fraction and turned away "I do not know what you mean."

Jim laughed slapping a hand against the taller mans arm and the vulcan frowned "I'm not blind Spock, remember just because I cant read your mind yet doesn't mean I can't read your face."

Spock turned to him tilting his head, he had trained for many years not to allow his emotions to reveal themselves in his expressions and he had achieved this goal with considerable success.

"I do not understand."

The captain sighed "Love I hate to break it to you, but remember when I said you're an open book? Like… say when you're sad your mouth twitches only slightly right _here._" he reached out pressing a thumb pad to the corner of Spocks lips "And your shoulders dip a little. But when you're happy they are rigid, straight and your chin is held a little higher, your lips get the awesome pout to them and your eyes are so bright….to be honest if you really don't want me to know how you're feeling or what you're thinking I'd wear a pair of sunglasses because those particular beauties tell me everything."

The vulcan sighed leaning into his lovers palm "I had underestimated your perceptiveness Jim."

Jim smiled and removed his hand flipping open his communicator "So you admit to liking him then…you did say you consider him a friend…"

Spock looked away a sly grin gracing his quirked lips "I believe a terran term could apply here. Something Nyota mentioned…"

"Oh yeah what's that then?"

"She explained that doctor McCoy and I are 'frenimies'."

Jim laughed loudly rocking back on his heels with glee. "That's pretty appropriate."

Spock smiled, allowing him self to feel pleasure that he had got the reference correct. Hands behind his back he gently herded the distracted captain towards the transportation pads.

"Kirk to med bay, this is Jim."

After a beat of silence a gruff voice filled the air "Jim? What the… what time is it? You done having that chat already? Dammit man you told me I'd have time to finish my paperwork, you know, like a proper officer."

Jim held a hand up and mimed talking with it rolling his eyes. The vulcan grinned and Jim beamed back at him. "Don't you roll your eyes at me."

"I didn't!"

Spock raised both his eyebrows, surprised. "Yes you did. I know you did. Are you at the pad? I'm not wandering around looking for you two in the dark on my own."

Jim grinned putting on a cutesy voice "Aww is the ickle dwoctor scared of the dark?"

He laughed deeply and McCoy groaned on the other side "No you idiot, I just don't want to end up walking past a bush and finding you and the hobgoblin _touching_ each other again. I haven't eaten yet and I'd rather not throw up on these new scrubs."

Jim sighed "Yeah yeah whatever….we're at the pad."

There was a grunt from the communicator and the line went dead. Jim smiled at his lover and knocked him with his elbow.

"You up for eating something? Scotty mentioned this diner in the complex; I thought I could make it up to Bones by buying him dinner too."

Spock nodded, lightly placing his pleasantly buzzing hands behind his back, face falling back to a more reserved expression. The shorter man was watching him an odd look in his eye "You know... I never realised how different you are when it's just us."

Spock raised an eyebrow but said nothing as they were illuminated by the soft glow of McCoy's arrival. Turning together the captain grinned, resting his weight on his left hip as he waved at his friend, the vulcan first officer merely nodding his head in greeting.

"Hey, maybe you need to talk to Scotty Jim. I think he has finally cracked, he was in the hallway outside med bay muttering to himself about decrepit replicators… you know how long its going to take him to be satisfied with the replicators if he gets a chance to upgrade them all? I don't need this Jim; he has already been in my med bay, tramping his filthy crews in and out apparently upgrading my perfectly usable bio beds!"

The captain nodded pursing his lips "I'll call him later."

Bones shook his head striding ahead, the captain falling effortlessly into step beside him, a nod of the head indicating Spock should follow.

"And another thing…."

The diner was loud, filled with Starfleet officers enjoying non-replicated food, small alien children and a particularly large group of small rabbit looking creatures that spoke in deep baritones and ate loudly, belching as they grunted to each other.

Jim grinned looking around, pulling his friends over to a booth in a quieter corner, winking at Spock as he pushed him into the furthest corner and placed himself next to the vulcan, a cool leg wrapping around his, thigh to thigh.

The captain leant on his elbows as the doctor joined them slumping backwards on his shiny red seat. Spock took a moment to take in his surroundings, the walls were a very pale mint green, the floor a shiny white colour and the air smelt strongly of burnt flesh, undercut by a distinctly antiseptic tang the filled his nostrils and made him recoil slightly in distaste.

The lights were almost too bright, and he heard a distinct tapping of high heels on the shining plastic as the waitress sauntered over, impressively short shorts and a tight white t-shirt captivating the doctor's attention. He grinned at her but she only had eyes for Jim, licking her lips and shifting her weight to one hip eyes flickering over his face and down to the table edge.

"Hey there honey. What can I get you?"

She leant down slightly and Spock raised an eyebrow as Bones scowled, opening his mouth to speak. But Jim beat him to it "He will have a cheeseburger and fries, same for me… Spock love what do you want?"

Spock titled his head noting that doctor McCoy did not protest Jim choosing for him. Perhaps it was a common occurrence in their relationship. "I am not familiar with this establishment Jim…"

Jim smiled warmly at him, a cool hand landing on his knee under the table "Do you have a vegetarian option?"

The waitress put her hands on her hip glancing between the captain and first officer, "Yeah…what are you? _Vulcan_? We have like…a menu for that or whatever."

Spock raised an eyebrow "It is quite alright madam. I will have a simple salad please."

She rolled her eyes "Alright."

Eyes instantly back on Jim, face oppressively close as she leant down sweet bubblegum breath making the vulcan turn his head away to avoid vomiting. Jim blushed and leant slightly into his first officer.

"Drinks?" she raised both eyebrows grinning at him and Jim glanced at Bones who rolled his eyes.

"Nah we are alright."

Thankfully she took one last longing glance at Jim and strode away, rolling her hips and glancing flirtatiously over her shoulder. The captain groaned and let his head fall to the table "Why does this always happen to me?"

Spock shifted against him, fondness flowing through his veins. "Perhaps it is your pleasing aesthetics."

Jim smiled genuinely at him and bit his lip, bumping his shoulder into his lovers. Suddenly there was a loud retching noise and they both turned to Bones who had a hand to his mouth, glaring at his friends.

"You two are revolting."

Jim rolled his eyes and the vulcan was content to sit back and let the two men catch up, their banter still baffled him, seeming more like arguments than a conversation between good friends. An indeterminate time later their food arrived and Spock looked down at his salad noticing the thin strips of what appeared to be chicken.

He remained silent as Jim and Bones tucked in their conversation halting as the captain turned to Spock "Eat up…"

Spock made eye contact and Jim raised an eyebrow "What's wrong?"

Spock licked his lips "It is inconsequential."

After an awkward beat of silence the vulcan realised Jim had noticed the chicken in his salad and he was in fact glaring at the offending articles like they had personally offended him.

"You want me to get the waitress?" he still wasn't looking up and Spock began to worry.

"No t'hy'la, I will simply remove the pieces."

Jim glanced up at him "You sure?"

Spock nodded and Jim leant back glaring across the diner at the waitress who had watched the exchange a confused expression on her face. Both men watched as the vulcan began to methodically lift the pieces of chicken out and place them on a paper napkin on the tabletop, Jim quietly seething beside him.

"She knew you were vulcan, she knew you don't eat meant. Fucking idiot. If you ask for a salad I mean god…. I even mentioned the vegetarian option thing…"

Bones watched them and groaned rolling his eyes "Could you try not acting like an old married couple for five minutes?"

Jim just glared at him, stealing a fry a vibrant blush grazing his cheeks. Spock titled his head to the side again burying the lurching of his stomach as he was reminded of the thumping desire to bond deep in the recesses of his mind. It was too soon, they had been courting for less than a month.

As they finished their meal the waitress returned, loudly interrupting Jim and McCoys quiet argument.

"You want desert sweetie?"

Jim looked up hand still raised as he had been gesturing to Bones. "Uh no thanks."

She blinked and leant down pressing her chest forward and leaning a hand on the table "Hey, aren't you that captain Kirk?"

Jim flushed furiously "Um...yeah…"

"My shift finishes in ten minutes…"

She bit the edge of her thumb and licked her lips. Spock glared at her and Jims mouth dropped open. "He is currently engaged."

Spock voice was low and he fought to keep the edge out of his voice as his world titled. He instantly strengthened his walls to stop his possessive streak destroying the overly friendly woman. Bones eyebrows flew to his hairline and the woman glanced between them blushing slightly.

"I'll…just go get your bill…"

As soon as she turned away Bones leant forwards both hands on the table eyes boring into his friend "Engaged!"

Jim looked away from the retreating woman and frowned at the doctor "What?"

"He just said you're currently engaged!"

Jim glanced at Spock who titled his head in confusion and Jim smirked "He just meant we are in a relationship…I would've thought you'd have learnt Spock-speak by now Bonesy."

The grumpy man sagged and slumped backwards hand to his chest eyes closed "I think I almost had a heart attack then."

Spock raised an eyebrow and Jim laughed eyes on his lover.

"Guess you just weren't paying attention like I was."

Twenty-three minutes later and Spock was walking close to Jim side as he regaled Bones with the encounter between father Jack and Jims mother, the doctor nodding and laughing at the correct times.

"I like the sound of this guy. Got a sensible head on his shoulders."

Jim grinned "Spock likes him to don't you love."

Spock titled his head and Jim chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eye. It was strangely endearing.

"You should've seen him, father Jacks biggest fan all eager and interested."

Spock frowned and both men burst out laughing Jim planting a hand on the vulcan's shoulder.

"Oh Jim I think you've insulted him."

Jim pouted and wrapped a hand around Spock's waist, making eye contact a cocky grin on his face but Spock saw the nervous glint in his eyes. He sighed internally, knowing that his t'hy'la was always careful about what he said or what he did, constantly worrying about Spock about him being vulcan about saying the wrong thing.

The commander relaxed against him making sure to let the softness rise in his eyes and Jims smile grew for real, finger clenching at his hip. "You're not insulted are you love?"

Spock dipped his head to indicate no and McCoy gestured two fingers down his throat, pretending to retch.

They walked in silence Jims hand still at the small of Spocks back and he beamed internally, the skin of his cool thumb brushing lightly under his shirt across the base of his spine.

Jim opened the door for the doctor and commander, bowing slightly as they strode ahead, McCoys satisfied hum sending Jim into a pleasant bubbly mood. They took a low velvet covered booth in the corner and Jim offered to go to the bar to tell father Jack of their arrival and get some drinks leaving the doctor and Spock alone.

They sat in silence for a minute McCoy taking in the odd aliens surrounding them, his eyes finally falling on the silence science officer. "So… what is going on with you then?" Spock placed his hands on the table and stared at the grumpy man.

"I do not know what you mean."

Bones squinted "Yeah right…"

Suddenly Sulu, Chekov and Scotty slipped in beside them, identical grinning faces setting Spock on edge. "Hey."

After a few minutes of chat amongst the crew member Jim returned, a grinning Uhura at his side. He handed a tall glass of iced water to Spock and a wagon of frothing liquid to McCoy greeting his crew members as Uhura shared their drinks around.

The vulcan was happy to sit back and allow them to converse, retreating to his mind where he mourned the loss of Jim at his side, now replaced by Sulu. He thought about the doctors strange words and concluded that he must've come to some sort of conclusion about which Spock could not speculate.

He decided to meditate on it further, however as soon as this thought left his head it was replaced with that nagging desire, the urge to form an unbreakable bond. He knew it was illogical but he simultaneously desired and feared the bond, after a moments pause he concluded perhaps it wasn't the bond he feared but simply the act of initiating it.

His mind then moved along satisfied with this answer for now as he gazed across the table at Jim as he gestured wildly knocking Bones in the face in his haste to explain a tactical manoeuvre he had seen.

Sighing internally Spock remembered his plan for a date and looked sideways to Sulu who had slumped backwards in his seat, sleepily leant against the young ensign. Spock tapped him lightly on the shoulder and Sulu's eyes sluggishly turned to him an eyebrow raised.

The vulcan glanced at Jim who was still talking animatedly and leant towards the pilot his voice quiet. "Mr. Sulu, I am interested in procuring a bouquet of the brown flowers Jim requested you grow."

It took a moment for the sleepy man to process the vulcan's words and he grinned "Oh right...why are we whispering?"

Spock to his credit blushed a pale green and glanced again to his lover. "They are intended as a …surprise."

Sulu grinned and rocked towards him "I'll see what I can do."

Spock nodded "Thank you."

Sulu just winked turning back to Chekov and leaning his head on the younger mans shoulder.

A few minutes later they were joined by the enigmatic father Jack, as he sat down the crew instantly beginning to question him about the bar, his church and theories.

A wild debate started and Spock found that although he could follow the lines of reasoning he could not summon the will to contribute and simply sat back quieting his mind and relaxing into the soft velvet seat.

Suddenly Jim addressed him and the commander's head snapped up allowing himself the liberty of his equivalent of a smile. Sulu and Chekov elbowed each other giggling and Jim beamed at him.

"You want another drink love?"

Spock blushed at the pet names use in front of the bridge crew and father and so he ducked his head. "I shall collect the drinks Jim."

Jim tilted his head smiling wide an eyebrow quirked "Have you ever got drinks at a bar before?"

Spock glanced around the table and Uhura giggled "No he hasn't. Its alright I'll come with you."

Spock nodded and waited for the pilot, engineer and navigator to move so he could slide out of the booth and collect the orders. Uhura linked her arm in his and they weaved a path to the bar, coming up beside a pair of enormous figures, their thick leathery skin covering large lumpy muscles, a squat pushed in face resembling a flattened pigs snout and dull grey complexion making them look like living rock.

Spock placed a hand on the bar and the formless shape next to him grunted a small blue eyeball regarded him and flickered back to its partner. Suddenly an exceedingly tall thin creature behind him bumped into the commander and lieutenant as they waited to be served.

He was thrown forwards his hand slipping and knocking the formless shapes drink over, the steaming amber liquid running across the worn wooden bar, its pungent fumes sitting Spock's nose. He righted himself turning to explain when an enormous dull grey fist filled his vision.

The next time he opened his eyes Jim's familiar legs and back were above him, voice clanging loudly as he shouted at the vague grey shapes on the blurry edge of his vision. A group of similarly familiar shapes bunched around him holding the captain back, and Spock let out an unperceivable groan as the pain in his skull radiated back to the front of his head, spots of green dotting his vision.

He let his eyes slide closed in his effort to block the pain and when he opened them again a pair of strong arms were wrapped around his legs. For a brief second Spock was confused until, he concluded Jim was carrying him over his shoulder, a second of clarity before he passed out again.

This time when he woke he did not open his eyes; instead he simply lay there carefully blocking any residual pain, assessing his physical status. Clearly the doctor had injected him with some form of painkiller and his face had been recently repaired. It was then he realised Jim was beside him and unaware he was awake, his voice quiet.

"Wake up you stupid bloody green bastard you're scaring me…. I will totally do that thing to your hand again if you wake up…..**no**? Well then I'll…I'll stop trying to make you blush in front of the crew….."

Spock remained silent, curious as to the other concession Jim would make. After a moment he began to consider the ethics and logic of pretending to be unconscious when Jim was still worried about him and fought to open his eyes, startled to find his eyelids had dried together and were proving difficult to separate.

"If you wake up...I'll marry you."

Jim's voice was hoarse and Spocks mind flared with shock and happiness at that statement. Perhaps it was not futile to want to bond with this man so soon into the relationship. Spock fought even harder to open his eyes a thin crack of light piercing the thick dried substance.

The vulcan moved to open his mouth but was stopped by McCoys voice in the doorway. "You do realise he isn't going to die right?"

"Yeah I do."

There was a long uncomfortable silence and the doctors voice was closer. "Did you honestly just say you would marry him?"

Spock could almost feel Jims blush, maintaining his blocks so the hope did not affect him. "Yeah I did."

"You have been going out for what...two weeks?"

"Yeah but I have good reasons, I mean I've love him for much longer than that and anyway I know that I want to be with him forever so why not make it official?"

A loud groan and a thumping sound. Spock concluded the doctor had thumped his head against the wall "You sure this isn't rose tinted glasses?"

The vulcan frowned internally, perhaps this was another one of his colourful turns of phrase.

"No! It's hard to describe…it's like this …. It's like knowing that I am going to get old. It's inevitable and unavoidable. It was like, I saw him and he was already familiar to me like he my arm or something…"

"You sound crazy."

"I know."

There was a small period of silence and the doctors voice was somewhere near his shoulder, affectionate and still exasperated.

"How long exactly?"

"How long what?"

"Have you been in love with the hobgoblin?"

There was an exhale of breath "Remember when I had to emotionally compromise him?"

"_Seriously?_ He almost killed you."

"Well I kind of thought he was hot…but it was when I realised that he does actually have emotions that it kind of hit home…"

"Fucking hell Jim."

"I know."

"I mean god _damn_."

"I know!"

Bones sighed and Spock could almost picture him, hand on forehead shaking his head at the captain.

"Look if you want to get hitched to the space fairy then you have my blessing. But dammit Jim if I'm not your best man I will find you and I you know I have several new vaccines I really need you to try out. Also I'm _not _making a speech."

Spock could feel the warmth radiating through the doctors voice, and the resulting grin from Jim, it was so potent he resisted the urge to smile too.

"Aww come on Bonesy, you have too. I bet you've had every embarrassing thing about me written down into the perfect mortifying speech."

"Yeah I do, thing is I never planned on it being a space fairy you married. I'm gonna have to change it a bit."

"Oh my god you're serious aren't you! Oh doctor _McCoy_ I love you, you're the best friend ever. I'm totally going to write my own best man speech for you."

"Don't bother. I'm not doing **that** again."


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Okay guys reaaaally short one here. A little intrigue, a little sick!spock a little chapter all round. Thanks gain for every review, you guys are awesome and I send massive dream cookies to you all. 3

Spock waited for the doctor's footsteps to fade away before he attempted to open his eyes again, a slither of piercing light burning his pupils. His mind was disorientated, fuzzy and he found it difficult to concentrate. After a moment Jim sighed and Spock almost gasped as his mind connected to the captains, a pleasantly cool hand pressed to his collarbone. Even in his diminished state he almost instantly reacted, building walls to stop Jim from realising he was conscious, and it appeared to have worked.

He could hear the bright shining minds whisper as it brushed against his and Spock sighed internally. "I don't know… maybe. Maybe the old man was right…." His mind was kicked into action, whirring through this phrase and all its possible meaning.

What old man? _Who_ did he believe was right? Right about _what?_ He was lost to his thoughts his mind consumed by curiosity , so much so he did not realise Jims hand had been removed.

Suddenly something damp and warm was pressed gently against his eyelid, stinging liquid seeping in making him twitch, a soft palm resting on his cheekbone.

"Spock… Hey you awake?"

Spock screwed his eyes shut as the liquid stung, blinking rapidly when he realised the captain had washed away the substance holding them closed. He waited for his eyes to become accustomed to the light and stared up a hand reaching out, grasping the captain's forearm in shock.

"_Jim."_

Then the vulcan felt something he had not before, he felt a desire a need to act in a way that seemed alien to him. Jim yelped as the vulcan sat up swiftly, lunging forwards and wrapping his arms tightly around him, head pressed to his neck, fingers digging into his ribs. A loud tinkling laugh and a pat on the back was all it took for him to be released, leaving a blushing science officer and flustered captain sat staring at each other on a biobed.

"Well…that was unexpected."

Spock just stared and Jim smiled sheepishly, hand wringing the cloth repeatedly. He sighed "Jim, it has become apparent that your presence cause many new impulses in me."

Jim blushed deeply and his hands jerked, splashing a small amount of water on his knees. "Oh yeah?" he was grinning at the vulcan and titled his head sighing. "As much as I'd like to continue on that train of thought, we gotta get you cleaned up so we can get off the ship. Apparently the life systems need an overhaul and the entire crew has been evacuated for the time being."

Spock hid his surprise and sat back on his pillows, the captain handing him the cloth, watching him wipe what now was clearly his own blood from his face.

Suddenly the doctor returned holding a large canvas bag, eyes murderous. "Jim as soon as you're done mooning over the hobgoblin you had better have a chat with your engineer. He is currently buried in the wall outside of my medbay, wielding a spanner and mumbling to himself about a complete over haul!"

Jim sighed shaking his head and stood up from the bed reaching a hand out and grasping Spocks forearm to pull him to his feet. The vulcan took a deep breath and wavered slightly on his feet. McCoy began grumbling and rushed over, running a scanner over his face.

"Dammit Spock. You shouldn't be up and moving around yet. You had a pretty hard knock to the head and are probably still suffering from concussion."

Spock leant slightly on his lover straightening his back, ignoring the flare of pain across the front of his skull. "I am quite alright doctor. Perhaps we should leave…"

Jim slid a hand around his waist, and gazed up at him worried.

"I am able to walk unaided."

Jim moved to remove his hand but then Spock without a thought reached out and grasped his wrist, keeping the captains arm around him. Jim smiled and McCoy skidded back into the room.

"Come on!"

Together the three men rushed through the empty medbay and out of the door, a hiss and a thunk telling them that they had locked behind the group. McCoy stopped and glared at the door and then at Jim, a hand raised pointing to two black boots sticking out of the wall.

The captain raised his hands in defeat and Spock silently mourned the loss of the cooling support. As soon as Jims head disappeared into the wall McCoy turned on him hands on hips eyebrow flailing wildly.

"Spock I'm going to ask you something and don't you dare even think about trying to lie to me. Okay?"

Spock placed his hands behind his back fighting a wave of nausea, maintaining the eye contact his face blank "Is that the question doctor?"

McCoys eyebrow flickered and he took a step forward keeping his voice low and pointing directly at the vulcans face "Now you listen here you sneaky space fairy, what exactly do you plan on happening here?"

Spock considered the question and then reconciled it with the conversation he had…overheard. "Doctor are you asking if I intend to remain with Jim for the foreseeable future than I can only answer in the affirmative."

McCoy sighed relaxing slightly "May I ask an enquiry of my own?"

"Yeah sure whatever."

"Why do you still question my intentions?"

McCoy looked up at him and Spock made sure to lock down all emotion, to remain innocent in the doctors eyes. "Jim…I have never seen him like this, never thought I would. I just want you to know he** is** in this for the long term and so you had better be too."

Spock titled his head "I see. I must then reaffirm that he is t'hy'la and I cannot and will not leave him."

Bones sighed his mixed emotions flashing in his eyes.

"Good."

Spock thought quietly for a moment before voicing his next statement "Random chance has acted in the captain favour for him to have met such a loyal friend."

McCoy gaped at him about to reply when Jim returned shaking his head "Hey…you guys okay?" he glanced between the shocked doctor and Spock coolly impassive gaze, an eyebrow raised.

The air was bitterly cold and Spock shivered as he appeared on the pad, carefully treading in a straight line, his mind still blurring around the edges with his concussion. "Hey, this way love… Jack said to come to the bar once we got you sorted."

Spock moved stiffly towards the two humans, the doctor frowning and Jim pouting worried "You sure you're okay?"

"Yes t'hy'la. I am experiencing some disorientation but I am able to manage."

"Alright…"

McCoy groaned and dropped his bag, pulling a hypospray from seemingly nowhere.

"This should help with the concussion but there isn't much else I can do. And you, you make sure he doesn't suddenly go over. Vulcan be damned he got hit pretty damn hard and even if he is too proud to admit it he might faint again."

He was gesturing to Jim with one hand and pressing the hypospray to the vulcan's neck with the other. He closed his eyes as a cool burn slid through his veins, clearing his head and solidifying the ground beneath his feet.

Jim walked closely to him a hand jumping up every couple of minutes as if to asses how straight and true Spock was walking. The bar was mostly empty when they entered, the enterprise crew gone, as were the miners.

Jack was leaning on the bar talking softly to a fluttering buzzing creature in vibrant orange robe, its fluffy head overtaken by enormous black eyes and two implausible long feelers that floated and twitched in the warm air. He glanced up nodding in greeting to the captain before murmuring something that sounded like mostly vowels before the creature floated away humming lightly. He moved out from behind the bar and strode over to the small group.

"How are Mr. Spock?"

Spock ducked his head "I am well father. Thank you."

The father chuckled "Is there anything I can do for you?"

McCoy stepped forward smiling and Jack placed a hand on his arm "You could get us a room. No thanks to our engineer the ship is currently out of commission."

Jack sucked in a breath through his teeth and glanced at Spock then Jim and finally back to the doctor. "I'm sorry boys, but there is only one room left."

"Well we'll take it then."

The father smiled shaking his head eyes closed. "It only has two beds? I trust that won't be a problem."

Spock raised an eyebrow and Jim grinned "Nope no problems here, right love?"

Spock glanced down blinking in agreement "Nope see Spock is fine with it."

Father Jack grinned "And your assessment Leonard?"

"Is it the _only_ room?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Dammit….fine"

Jim beamed at the doctor "Awesome. Cus …y'know Spock here really needs to lie down."

For a second the two friends shared a intense look and McCoy rolled his eyes talking in a loud over the top over emphasised voice. "Gee why don't you and Spock go check out the room, together or whatever. I'll just stay here."

Jim beamed at him slapping the grumpy man on the shoulder "Why what a good idea Bonesy."

The father laughed walking behind the bar and sliding a set of keys across to the couple. "Up the stairs keep going till they stop and then last door on the end. You can't miss it, only door on the corridor."

Jim smiled and turned to Spock was leaning heavily on the bar, his eyes screwed shut. His focus was still difficult and he found his impulse control was extremely limited. After a moment he managed to gain some control and released the bar, flinching when he noticed the deep indentations his grip had caused. Jim placed a cool hand to his shoulder and held tightly.

"Love?"

"Perhaps I should follow the doctors orders t'hy'la."

Jim frowned sighing, disappointed and glanced to McCoy and was surprised to find his friend was already at Spocks shoulder, hand on his elbow other wrapped around his back supporting him.

"Come on, looks like no fun for you Jim."

The vulcan closed his eyes as her was dragged away, his eyes flying open as a large wooden door swung open ahead of him, a extremely narrow wooden staircase leading up for what seemed to be forever, thin winding corridors spiralling away at every curve as they ascended.

The air here was still, stuffy and Spock fought to breathe, his world swimming before his eyes a steadying presence at his side keeping him from collapsing to his knees.

"Jim?"

"It's alright love, we are almost there."

They reached the top floor and Jim strode ahead a hand on Spock's wrist pulling him lightly towards a tiny wooden door at the end, beige walls and crowded paintings littered the claustrophobic space.

Jim pushed ahead leaving the doctor running a scanner over his lover, muttering to himself. The room was small, a minute bathroom to the side and two large overstuffed beds squashed in next to each other. Jim smiled and turned pulling Spock in with him and forcing him to sit on the bed, eyebrows drawn together in worry.

The doctor appeared beside him holding a glass of water and sighing. "You need to rest that big vulcan head of yours. Drink some water and get some sleep."

Spock ducked his face blinking slowly at the floor, and Jim stepped forwards, landing with a soft thump on the sheets next to his lover.

"He will be okay right?"

He was glancing back and forth between Spocks slumped posture and McCoys strangely affectionate gaze "Yes. He will be fine. _If_ he gets some rest!"

Jim grinned and suddenly his friend was gone with a wave of the hand. Spock sighed in the silence and with some coaxing from the shorter man he leant against his lover, sipping slowly from the cold glass.

"So, seems like you've picked up Jim Kirk syndrome."

Spock frowned turning his eyes on the shorter man. "I am unaware you had a illness named after you."

"Something Bones discovered, apparently I am predisposed to ending up in random bar fights without doing much at all to start them."

Spock blinked slowly, heavily and Jim chuckled to himself, taking the glass and pulling the vulcan's boots from his feet.

"Come on you should get some rest. I have something I need to do anyway."

He helped his lover move up the bed and lie back, pressing a soft kiss to the middle of his forehead, the tip of his nose and finally to his lips before standing and waving goodbye.

Spock closed his heavy eyes, and lay in silence as the effects of the painkillers, his concussion and his tiredness washed over him. He attempted to come to some conclusion about the old man Jim had mentioned but he found his thoughts muddled, scattered like a pack of cards across his minds.

He then considered the doctors questions and sighed, it was obvious the affection between the two men and after a brief moment he was struck with a disturbing thought. Perhaps if he was going to go through with his impulse…his desire to bond with Jim, then human custom would dictate he would ask Jims father for the right.

However as this was clearly impossible… the doctor would be the logical choice to ask. He would be insufferable if they were married without his consent…. and although he had given it, Spock wasn't supposed to know this.

He would have to get the doctors permission….when he… when w..w..woke up-….


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Okay guys, long one for you. Little bit of drama, little bit of fluff. R&R. Cosmic high fives for all reviewer's.

Spock's eyes fluttered open and he openly moaned, his exhaustion still plaguing him. His face ached, his neck was stiff and he found that even the merest thud of his own heartbeat was a thundering cataclysm in his mind.

Following a forced and difficult attempt to focus he sluggishly managed to shut the pain out, although it did not shift the dull ache of his stretched and pulled neck muscles. After a brief moments repose the vulcan slowly stood and strode swiftly to the small adjoining bathroom, flinching at his dishevelled appearance in the small circular hand mirror.

For a second he just glared at himself before carefully painstakingly cleaning his face, neck and hands, relaxing as he moved through his usual routine, mind wandering over where Jim could be, what the things he needed to do were.

After some time he caught himself staring at his reflection, his eyebrows creased in confusion, and he spoke his mind to the silent space. "Where are you t'hy'la?" Spock shook his head and returned to the room, lying poker straight on the bed and attempting to regain his usual state.

He lay motionless for 11.23 minutes attempting to fall back asleep, fettered by the images of Jims possible whereabouts, the questions that ran through his mind and the uncomfortable ache.

The vulcan sighed just as the doors opened, his lethargy preventing him from succeeding in opening his eyes and so he simply listened as Jim and doctor McCoy bustled into the room, argument hushed but no less violent.

"Shhh you're going to wake him up!"

"You shush!"

"Oh he is so beautiful… seriously man I don't think there could be anyone as perfect as him, don't you think?"

"Oh god I'm going to throw up… I can't believe I'm going to have to sleep in the room with you two. I'd rather sleep on the ship, maybe then at least if I'm lucky I might die when Scotty turns the life support off on me."

Spock smiled internally and waited for Jim to address him, almost jumping in shock when instead he felt a soft but insistent pressure against his back. Clearly the captain was attempting to move him over without waking him.

"T'hy'la?"

He forced his eyes open and blinked up at the softly smiling man.

"Hello love. How're you feeling?"

"My mind has cleared a small amount and I am able to shut out most of the pain."

Jims smile dropped "Most?"

Spock glanced at the doctor who glared at them, rolling his eyes. After an awkward moment the grumpy man turned and lay down on his bed rolling away from the couple and pulling the thick sheets over his head.

"As far as you're concerned I'm not here…. One rule. No funny business."

His muffled voice filtered out of the plump cotton sheets, a definitive statement before his breathing slowed and he fell silent.

Jim watched him for a second before turning back to Spock and gently nudging him over so he could sit cross legged next to his lover.

"Where does it hurt?"

Spock raised an eyebrow "I believe it is custom to lower your voice when a room-mate is sleeping."

"Oh… right. You remember I shared a room with Bones for years right? He is the _heaviest_ sleeper ever."

Spock frowned glancing at the formless lump and back to his lover. "I see." He was hesitant but Jim smiled and reached out a hand, two fingers raised, instantly met by Spocks own fingers.

"So….?"

Spock resisted the urge to avoid the question, although it was illogical that Jim would think less of him for succumbing to the ache and pain. "I believe my neck muscles have become stretched, causing some small discomfort."

Jims face softened and he stood up leaving Spock alone on the bed. The vulcan watched him go with a carefully managed reaction as though his mind was not filled with confusion and disappointment. Jim was disgusted by his weakness.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Move up that way a little, I can't reach your neck from the front."

Spock just stared and Jim sighed pressing a hand to his back and pushing him forwards slightly, the commander shuffling down the bed to allow his captain to slide in behind him, muscular legs around his waist, Spocks back against his chest.

Jim grinned and pushed him forward a little placing his hands on either shoulder. "_Relax_ love."

Spock took a deep breath, the intense cool of Jims skin was soothing, and his fingers began to squeeze and move in slow circles, the pressure on his muscles getting harder and harder and then more soft as Jim methodically released every knot of tension in his shoulder, moving slowly up to massage the base of his neck, smoothing and pressing as he worked his way up to Spocks skull.

The vulcan's mind escaped him and he was lost to the gentle calming pressures, Jims remarkable talents causing vague surprise to flutter past his consciousness. His eyes slid closed and he found that his need for rest was overtaking him.

"T'hy'la… I am fully relaxed. Thank you."

He felt Jim's bright smile in his hair and a soft kiss to the tip of his left ear. After a quick re-shuffle the couple were curled around each other beneath the bed sheets, Spock barely maintaining his state of consciousness as he came into contact with Jim's slow regular breathing and the simply beat of his heart.

"I love you Spock."

"As I love you Jim."

The next morning Spock awoke early, the only sounds in the tiny room were Jim's slow breathing and the doctor's loud incorrigible snoring. For a full minute Spock just held onto his t'hy'la noting the soft flush of his cheeks, light blonde eyelashes fluttering slightly, covering what the vulcan knew were his own personal favourite feature of Jims as illogical as such an idea was. His sparkling joy filled azure eyes, eyes that followed his every move that captured his attention and projected Jim expressive personality to every person fortunate to witness them. His lips moved in silent whisper and his hands were clasped in front of him, fingers flexing as he dreamt.

Sighing internally Spock carefully lifted himself from the bed, laying the covers back over Jim and pausing to make sure he had not disturbed the captain's slumber. After a quick shower and a change of clothes Spock took one last glance of his love and gently closed the door behind him. As he descended the rickety stairs he assessed his physical state, his head was clearer, his neck substantially better and his mind was back to its focussed state.

Opening the heavy wooden door to the bar he shivered in the cool dawn air, pale light filtering through thick glass windows illuminating the empty room which smelled strongly of a blend of tea Spock recognised from his time at the academy. Earl grey.

He moved silently through the room, pausing as he heard a distinct soft humming and shuffling coming from a battered doorframe behind the bar.

"Good mornin'."

He started as the father appeared in the doorway holding a steaming pot and two large black pot mugs on a heavy wooden tray. Spock raised an eyebrow placing his hands behind his back.

"I do not find it disagreeable."

The father smiled warmly and set the tray down pouring two steaming mugs and pushing one towards the stiff vulcan. After a beat the commander strode forwards and slid onto the barstool, lifting the cup to his face and inhaling the familiar scent, his eyes studying the older man in front of him. He decided he should simply ask the questions that had formed in his mind at the father's sudden appearance.

"I would like to enquire if there are any restaurants, much like you would find on earth here on the star base?"

A fluffy eyebrow rose and a soft chuckle made Spock begin to reconsider his question. "We have a few different places…what kind of thing are you looking for?"

The vulcan frowned "I believe terran-french or italian dining is the preferred school for a typically romantic…..date. Am I correct in this assumption?" he gazed expectantly at the calm man, as his eyes following as he took a sip from his drink.

"You would be correct. I think I know exactly the place."

Spock allowed himself to show the warmth in his eyes that he felt for this man. "There is a place called Gregoire's which would suit your needs. You can use the old desktop over there to book a table if you want."

"Thank you."

He rose from his seat taking his drink with him as he crossed the room and moved a slew of newspapers and other assorted bric-a-brac from the consoles keyboard. Turning the dated machine on he waited patiently for it to start up and he quickly searched for the restaurant, his natural talent with computers allowing him to navigate the convoluted and overly complicated reservation process.

Suddenly he heard heavy footsteps on the stairs and tried in vain to close the windows he had opened before Jim could see his attempt at a surprise. The door flew open and Jim stumbled in yawning widely, Bones shuffling sleepily behind him.

It took a moment for the captain to spot Spock in the dark corner and he grinned sheepishly padding softly across the floor, eyes flickering form the vulcan to the screen. Spock glanced at the screen too and was relieved to find the windows had closed in a sufficient time period to prevent Jim discovering his plans, turning quickly and rising respectively to his feet.

"Good morning sweet pea." Spock raised an eyebrow and Jim blushed "Just trying it out…for the last time…" He shook his head an affectionate smile in his eyes and Jim sidled over glancing at the father and doctor, noting that their attentions were thankfully solely on each other. He then stepped forwards sliding a hand down Spock's chest placing the other on his hip. "I bet if I use it enough it will grow on you."

"I find this scenario highly unlikely."

"So what do you want to do today?"

Spock thought about it for a moment, his mind somewhat distracted by the cool fingertips on his hip. "Perhaps Jim we can visit the gardens here?"

The captain beamed at him "Sounds good."

After a short simple breakfast the doctor excused himself stating he 'couldn't bare to be around such sickening happiness' and told Jim he'd see him later. The captain and Spock had said goodbye to the doctor and set off in the direction of the gardens, a map of the star base loaded on a PADD allowing them to take a short cut.

The tall silver building towered above them as they walked through the still deserted streets at the centre of the base, a thin walkway over a dramatic drop off, clouds floated below them as a bitterly cold wind buffeted the couple as they walked purposely across the thin metal bridge.

Jim strutted ahead eyes on the PADD as he checked and rechecked the correct directions and he stopped suddenly once back on solid ground, his eyes lighting up as he pointed to a strangely antique-looking stone gate. Carved into the marbled mineral were beautifully intricate images of birds, flowers and animals, small blue tendrils from overgrown plants spiralled and twisted up the structure and Jim sighed.

"Oh I bet it's beautiful."

Spock reached the end of the bridge and placed a hand at the base of his back. "Perhaps we should take a look."

Jim grinned at him, reaching down and instinctively wrapping his fingers around the vulcan's wrist, pulling him over to the lone gate. To their surprise it swung open ahead of them revealing a dirt path encased by dense mist that froze on the captain's skin, his shiver, something extremely rare on Vulcan only served to endear him more. Spock moved forward removing his own stiff grey woollen jacket and covering his shaking shoulder with it, his posture respectful and muted.

Jim pulled the fabric around himself grinning. "You know… I swear sometimes you are actually from one of those cheesy romance novels my mum used to read."

Spock titled his head but Jim simply smiled "Thanks by the way."

There was another comfortable silence as they walked, both men gazing through the thick fog at what Spock could see were large blue bushes, spewing white flowers and petals across the path ahead.

"Oooh look!"

Jim pointed out the flowers and lifted one examining it closely, his pace not slowing for a second as he sniffed it idly, eyes roaming the developing landscape. As they moved along the air grew warmer and filled with pungent fragrances that crowded Spocks mind, sweet odours from vibrant plump flowers that drooped, heavy on their stems, fluttering insects burst left and right from blue bushes and refreshingly familiar green leaves hung heart shaped and surrounded by neon berries that gleamed like pearl drops.

The ground beneath their feet was worn in a well trodden path, the short spiky grass a pale dusty grey and soon the dewy plants began to steam as the ground grew hotter beneath their feet. Jim shrugged both Spocks and his own jacket off his shoulders, draping them over his arm and blowing up into his fringe.

"Phew, it got hot quick."

Spock raised an eyebrow silently reciting that vulcan well exceeded these temperatures and mentally voicing his pleasure at the more comfortable conditions. He had chosen to remain silent so the only sounds were still Jim soft gasps and sighs as he explored the strange insect life and the few familiar plants he found.

"Look Spock look! These are called Amazon lilies."

He picked a pale creamy flower from the nearest sprout, five large petals surrounding a central cream structure and long thin stamen that stuck out in flamboyant curves. Jim smiled warmly and strode over lifting it gently to the vulcan's face, watching him carefully as he inhaled.

"It smells sweet Jim."

The captain laughed grabbing his wrist and dragging him deeper into the denser trees ahead. For 28.12 minutes they explored the various displays and small pockets of wild growth, Spock giving detailed accounts of the alien species the captain did not recognise and Jim pointing out the different terran species of bird, his own patter less clinical mostly stemming from anecdotes of his youth and his older brothers brief furore into bird watching. Soon the temperatures in the open ground became too much for Jim and they settled under a thick patch of trees.

"Hey, how are you anyway?"

Spock frowned "I am well Jim."

The captain rolled his eyes and scooted a bit closer "Sooo…do you think you could _try_ a meld? I mean I've really been practising hard and I just think that maybe even if you do lose control I can stop you 'cause if we are melding I will feel it coming won't I?"

Spock paused closing his mind to avoid the panic that attempted to coarse through his veins. He did a quick status check and concluded that perhaps… perhaps _here_ he was calm enough to attempt it. "Jim I am unsure. I do not wish to harm you and I cannot be conclusively sure that I am in control of my impulses. However if you wish it and as I am in a relaxed state I believe an attempt would be possible."

Jim beamed at him leaping across the grass and landing on his vulcan sending him flying backwards hitting the springy grass with a soft thlump. Sprawled limbs splayed on top of his lover as he kissed Spock several times eyes bright face split in a wide beaming smile.

"Thank you thank you thank you. I promise everything will be fine okay? I promise."

Spock smiled sitting up and holding Jim to his chest. "Then I have nothing to fear."

Jim blushed a little but scrabbled backwards sitting opposite the commander crossing his legs and gazing all over excited like an over anticipated canine. Spock relaxed crossing his legs in return and slowed his breathing clearing his mind.

After a moment Jim began to get worried and tapped him lightly on the leg "Sweet pea?"

Spock opened his eyes "I still have little affection for that name Jim."

Jim laughed shrugging his shoulders "You will come to love it I'm sure."

Spock blinked slowly and licked his lips moving himself to his knees waiting for his lover to mirror him. For a few seconds they just stared at each other chest to chest before Spock moved his hand up and paused just above the psi points. "

For a moment Spocks mind was pressed up against Jims blocks before they descended and he was able to painstakingly slowly allow himself to enter the first superficial level of Jims mind. It was bright, shining and bursting with colour. Emotions, music and a comforting warm presence surrounded him even this far from the core of his mind and Spock beamed.

Jim's consciousness appeared beside him and reached out to him.

"Why are we only in my mind?"

Spock looked at him "I have stronger psychic abilities than you Jim and so my mind decides where we are safer."

Jim frowned at him and Spock could feel the confusion and dawning realisation as Jim felt it, so strong so powerful and yet they had little outward effect on the captain.

"You mean… you actually prefer my mind to yours. You feel safer in my mind then your own?"

Spock titled his head and Jim raised an eyebrow "Wow. I don't know whether to be flattered or sad for you."

Spock sighed reaching out and holding Jims hand, smiling that in here at least this simple human gesture was possible without the outside…consequences.

"Here Jim I am able to release my emotions, openly, _freely_ and not be devastated by them."

Jim sighed and wrapped his arms around Spock, the soft golden glow of his mind illuminating the two men and Spock glanced around noticing a fluttering flowing stream of green leaves that floated around them, hovering in the background and foreground but never fully in sight.

Spock watched it flutter and flow opening his mouth to enquire when Jim pressed a light kiss to his neck.

"Its weird… seeing my mind like this. Is… I mean do you see a landscape or just light and colours like it is here. Is it like this in your mind all the time? Or is it even more abstract than that?...what is it?"

Spock looked down at him and Jim simply smiled back, the leaves suddenly surrounded them and he gazed in wonder, sudden understanding spreading in his eyes "Oh …that must be you then."

The vulcan's eyebrows rose and Jim chuckled his fingers clenching at Spocks waist. "You're always here, in the back ground but still…**there**."

Spock grinned and the captain leant upwards connecting his lips in a soft kiss that slowly turned into something a bit stronger. When they pulled back Spock winced realising they had begun to descend deeper, their minds connecting as Spocks mind began to bleed in, a cool breeze surrounding them.

He moved to pull back but made the mistake of looking down, at

Jim and his plump inviting lips. For a second he manage to resist before crashing them to his own, lust stirring and pounding through his veins, the cool wind picking up whipping around them and Jim began to panic trying to push Spock away hands on his shoulders.

The golden light blinked out and they were descended into darkness as the wind grew fiercer and fiercer pushing Jim back towards the vulcan. Suddenly the captain manage to pull away long enough to whisper "_**No!" **_and Spock opened his eyes forcing Jim out of his mind.

The captain was thrown clear from him and landed several feet away panting heavily his eyes wild with panic. Spock sucked in a ragged breath leaping to his feet and running through the trees, his heart rate uncontrollable his lungs felt constricted as though a rope had been tied tightly around his chest and he could not feel his legs as the propelled him onwards, running from what he had done form his lack of control.

After several minutes he collapsed on the ground his back slamming into a large boulder; however he did not feel the pain his eyes slammed shut as he attempted to relax, to control his mind. But he couldn't shut it out; he couldn't evacuate Jims touch, his scent from his mind. That look of fear, of panic and Spock had been powerless to stop himself. If he hadn't managed to expel him, to gain enough presence of mind, in that moment to save Jim, he would have devoured his mind and destroyed the man he loved.

He was on his hands and knees, panicking gasping for breath when he heard a crashing noise as Jim entered the clearing, hands on knees and breathing heavily.

"Spock?"

His voice was soft, cautious and the vulcan's just closed his eyes, wishing and hoping for Jim to leave to run away to _save_ himself.

"Spock listen, it's not your fault. You warned me okay. We knew this could happen and just because it did it doesn't mean we did anything wrong okay?"

He was stepping closer and closer careful not to touch the commander. After a moment he settled on the ground crossing his legs and waiting patiently for Spock to look up.

"Jim _please._"

His voice was rough, hoarse and Jim simple closed his eyes taking a deep breath calming himself down before he spoke again.

"I'm not leaving until you talk to me. "

Spock sighed, slumping backwards hands on his face peering through his fingers, his emotions were so strong they weighed on him and he was drained by them, by his shame, his fear.

"I am…ashamed."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of."

"I am dangerous I cannot control myself."

"Don't be silly. I'm not going anywhere now get a hold of yourself."

Spock took a deep breath but found that although his breathing and heart rate had slowed he could not calm his mind, the image of Jims shocked face haunting him. He screwed his eyes shut every nerve jumping when the captain did something wholly unexpected.

Suddenly a pair of strong arms wrapped loosely at first and then tighter pulling the vulcan's head under his chin, a hand on the side of his head the other on his back.

"Caaaalm down."

For a few minutes they sat in silence the vulcan frowning as he found his control returning, his mind relaxed and he was able to erect his barriers with some effort.

Almost as though he had read the commanders mind Jim relaxed his hold and lifted Spocks face by the chin making eye contact and smiling "Are you okay now?"

Spock quickly assessed himself and nodded silently. "Good. Now, what happened?"

Spock frowned sitting up slightly so they were side by side against the boulder. "I lost control."

"Right, _why_?"

Spock titled his head but Jim continued to smile at him, encouraging, a cool hand on his arm.

"Because your mind is….addictive. My mind _craves_ yours and I am unable to control its desires."

Jim to his credit blushed a deep maroon colour blinking shyly. "R..R…Right and how did we manage to stop it?"

The vulcan frowned "I…I do not know."

Jim sighed "Because I asked you to stop, and you **did**. Don't you see? _You_ stopped it."

Spock sighed his emotions surprisingly more positive than he expected, his abundant relief and gratitude for the captains calm overwhelmed him. Jim stayed silent waiting for his lover's response.

"I must compliment you t'hy'la. I fear I would not recover if not for your calm demeanour. However I do not think it wise to attempt a meld again whilst I have a lowered state of control."

Jim was quiet for a long moment and Spock watched his face carefully , he looked disappointed and thoughtful. "Why do you think your control is all out of whack? Is this normal for you? I don't… what can we do to get you your control back?"

Spock frowned at him surprised that he was willing to work on his personal problems together. On impulse he lifted a hand and Jim grinned pressing his fingers to Spocks.

"This is my own quandary, you need not concern yourself with-"

He was cut off by a rough palm to his face.

"Don't do that. If you have a problem I have a problem, we are in this together remember."

Spock sighed remembering the earlier question. "My loss of control is in part due to you Jim. I was unprepared for the discovery of my t'hy'la so soon after…after the loss I and every other vulcan suffered."

Jims face crumpled and he reached out a hand sliding down Spocks neck and pressing their foreheads together the vulcan sighing as a warm buzz filtered from Jim and into his barely controlled mind.

It filled the empty spaces and Spock barriers were strengthened by it.

"However, finding you does have its advantages."

Jim laughed pulling back and standing, glancing around the now colder darker landscape. "And I would love to discuss those advantages more but we'd better get back to the pub. Bones will be going spare that I let you stay out all day with your bad head."

Spock nodded and rose elegantly to his feet gazing at his relaxed lover pressing his lips together in thought. He hesitated for a second reaching out and grabbing Jim's hand.

The captains eyebrows rose as he glanced down watching Spock interlace their fingers, a shudder of pleasure rising up the vulcan's arm. After a moment he began to walk pulling Spock along behind him a quiet smile on his face and the commander could feel his mind pressing against the captains, his answering pleasure and simple happiness filling Spock with warmth.

"So are we making out the vulcan way right now?"

Spock smiled "I believe what we are doing is more than that Jim."

"Kinky."

Spock grinned and they walked in silence, Jims mind was pushing happiness with force and the vulcan's responding with just a shadow of the lust that stirred in the back of his mind. The captain blushed and glanced to his side biting his lip then licking the sensitive spot.

After another burst of lust from Spock he groaned and pushed his lover into a nearby by tree hand insistent and gently forceful against the vulcan's hips fingers sliding under the fabric of his shirt and tangling in his chest hair, Jims plump lips opening as his tongue lapped at the base of Spocks neck.

He gasped, hips pushed forwards, hands clenching at Jims back, reaching up and tugging at his hair pressing their lips together in a surprisingly slow sweet kiss.

Jim pulled back grinning lips bruised pupils blown. "All right, that's all the hand holding I can take. I promised no sex and I'm sticking to it god forbid."

Spock sighed letting his head fall backwards.

"Hey none of that."

"I apologise t'hy'la but my emotions are difficult to control. I respect your wishes."

Jim grinned "Hey everybody gets horny sometimes."

Spock smiled and slowly Jim released him, hands sliding down and Spock's fingers tingled in anticipation for the touch of his lover but it never came, Jims hands circling his wrist instead. Spock sighed internally blocking his disappointment and they walked in relatively silence the only sounds the captains quiet humming and his steady heartbeat.

Upon entering the pub Spock was set upon by a furious doctor hands pulling and tweaking at his face and head, a low mumbling stream of expletives directed at the captain issuing from his mouth.

Jim raised his hands palms up in defeat "He is fine! You honestly think I would let something happen to him?"

Bones grumbled "Well if your sense of self preservation is anything to go by…."

Jim rolled his eyes weaving through the now packed bar to the welcoming familiar mass of bodies that made up the bridge crew, the ensemble greeting their captain with joyous chorus. After a few minutes of the doctors assault the vulcan was released and joined his lover at the bar.

For the rest of the night he simply melted into the background his mind running over and over the events of that morning. The things Jim had said had struck him deeply and he concluded again that random chance had acted strongly in his favour when he had discovered that his t'hy'la was on board, to find a man so caring so kind. He was truly lucky.

As the conversation died down and the pub began to clear the crew slowly slipping away, leaving Bones and Jim to yawn in time and argue whether it was time to call it a night. After an impressively long time they agreed and Jim pulled the vulcan from his chair, sleepily leading him towards the door waving a sluggish hand at the father as he yanked it open.

Spock gently pulled his wrist from Jims grasp and smiled at his confused expression.

"I have little need to rest t'hy'la. I have some research I wish to conduct."

"Working when we are on leave? _Really_?"

Spock straightened his back raising an eyebrow and the captain rolled his eyes "I know I know, can't relax without not relaxing first. I'll see you in the morning then sweet pea."

Spock titled his head only a fraction a slight downturn to his lips and Jim chuckled lifting to fingers up and leaving them against Spocks for slightly longer than normal, a soft sleepy smile widening as the commander gently rubbed their fingers together a amused glint to his eye.

The door closed and Spock stared at it for a second before turning on his heels and approaching the console. Firing up the outdated model he stared at his reflection in the slightly dusty screen, surprised to see that he looked more relaxed than he ever had.

He licked his lips sitting a little straighter in the chair and squaring his shoulders. When the operating set up he entered _terran customs_ 'dating' 'dates' _romantic relations_ into the database and began to read.

By morning he had read every bit of data about terran dating etiquette and customs he could find and was beginning to feel a strange anxiety about the night's plans.

Luckily he managed to block it as the heavy door swung open and Jim blinked surprised.

"Have you been there all night?"

Spock nodded "Affirmative."

Jim raised an eyebrow "Oh I wasn't… I didn't think you'd still be here. You do know you can go outside without me right?"

Spock raised an eyebrow suspicious, the captain's tone was on edge and he persistently glanced at the console. "T'hy'la are you attempting to ask me to leave?"

There was an awkward beat the silence stretching out for what seemed an eternity until it was abruptly broken by a trill from the console.

**Incoming transmission**.


	19. Chapter 19

_A/N: Okay guys super long on for you. Lots going on in this one. R&R. Thanks so much for all the reviews I swear I love you_ _guys. 3_

The console trilled again and Spock accepted the transmission with one hand, eyes on his lover. As a familiar face filled the screen making him frown and Jim bustled forwards bending at the waist and waving at the man.

"Hey old man."

Spock's eyes widened a fraction and he felt strangely nauseous ignoring the random firing of neurons that produced the thought that ambassador Selek and Jim had been engaging in apparently secret communications. Of course he was aware they had been in contact as Jim had learnt psychic techniques from him, but the way Jim had reacted and the strange tone of his voice as he greeted the older man gave him pause.

"Greetings Jim, commander."

Spock turned to the screen and glared at the older man, suspicious and infuriated by his easy calm expression.

"Ambassador."

The older vulcan turned back to Jim and smiled "I bring good news Jim. The council has agreed to consider your request and I believe you will have little trouble convincing them."

Spock turned to face his lover and Jim blushed at the intense gaze "If I asked you to trust me and not ask, would you?"

Spocks face relaxed slightly as the captains voice squeaked and his eyes grew wide, embarrassed.

"You have my trust Jim as always."

Jims tense shoulders relaxed and he grinned weakly placing his head on the vulcan's shoulder. Spock considered bringing up what he had overheard but was stopped by the honest pleased gaze his lover was giving him. It would be shameful to admit such a breach of Jims faith in him. So instead he turned to the ambassador.

"Selek, I have an enquiry of a sensitive nature."

The vulcan bowed his head and glanced around himself "I am alone young one, are you in similar company?"

Spock glanced around noting that it was still too early for any patrons and so it was just him and his t'hy'la in the warming dust filled room. "Jim and I are the only people present."

"Then you may ask your enquiry."

Spock glanced to the stock still man next to him and reached out placing a heated hand on his elbow shocking him back into focus. The captain frowned and Spock leant in whispering lightly into his ear.

"I must ask you Jim if you find it reasonable to divulge yesterday's events to the ambassador to gain his perspective into the possible causes of my extreme loss of control and to gain insight into his own experiences regarding the alternate captain Kirk."

Jims mouth dropped open and he stared wide eyed at his lover "You want to tell him about our attempt to meld which by the way you said is really really personal like sex and you want to ask him about the other _me_? What if they never got together or they were never like us? Don't you think he'd be a little upset?"

The vulcan frowned "I do not see where any offense could be created."

"Well if I've learnt anything about being in love with a dude, its that guys who don't like guys tend to get a little upset when you accuse them of macking on their best friend."

Spock closed his eyes sighing "Jim, your experience has mainly stemmed from human male interactions. He is as I am, and I believe he would be reasonable in his analysis of my intentions."

Jim just shook his head turning back to the screen laughing shortly when he realised the other Spock had in fact closed his eyes and was mumbling to himself fingers together eyebrows drawn in a tight position. The captain cleared his throat and Selek's eyes flew open.

"My apologises captain, in my later years I have found a tendency to slip into outward expression of my mental calculations in disregard to everything else."

Jim grinned and glanced at Spock "I look forward to it."

Spock tilted his head, a warm feeling spreading through his veins at the implication and turned sharply to face his counterpart. "Ambassador my enquiry is this, were you ever in a relationship with the Jim Kirk of your universe?"

Selek's face dropped and he glanced sideways at something his eyes wistful, after a long silence he turned back and glanced between the two men eyes finally landing on Jim who blushed and made a movement with his hand that Spock did not understand but made him suspicious.

"Yes Spock, Jim and I were… he was t'hy'la."

Spock nodded closing his eyes "Then I must ask a further enquiry, but first you must understand the context."

Jim took over explaining everything that had happened the day before leaving out the more intimate details of the kiss and his lover watched him closely. Jim had not seemed surprised by the news that the alternate versions of them had also formed a romantic relationship and so he concluded that the ambassador had divulged this information to him previously.

He sighed internally his naturally curious nature overtaken by the burning jealousy in his gut. What context would lead him to divulge such sensitive information? What were his aims?

"I understand a most unfortunate experience. What do wish to ask me?"

"Did you experience any difficulty in controlling your… impulses when with your captain?"

Selek's eyes flittered to Jim and then down a grin growing silently on his face. "I must admit young one, Jim in _any_ universe is unsettling for any impulse control needed."

Spock tensed slightly and Jim blushed a beetroot colour.

"I see. How did you manage these lapses in concentration?"

The elder Spocks smile turned serious and his dark eyes zoned in on the commander. "I had significantly more control than you young one as in my universe Vulcan had not been destroyed."

He was silent for a long moment both vulcans sharing a sad moment of contemplation.

"However the loss of control I suffered was in fact due to my inability to trust."

The captain frowned and leant forward every muscle tense "Are you saying Spock doesn't trust me enough?"

Both Spocks raised an eyebrow managing to look both offended and affectionate at the same time. The younger vulcan placed a hand on his lovers shoulder "Calm yourself t'hy'la. My trust in you is absolute; he is merely insinuating that I do not trust myself. He would be correct in this analysis."

Jim just stared mouth opening and closing. Spock turned back to the ambassador and bowed his head. "I believe I understand what needs to be done to make a meld possible. Thank you."

The elder Spock smiled and raised his hand in a vulcan salute as his transmission ended. The commander turned to his lover who was staring at him a strange look on his face.

"Jim?"

The captain reached out and grabbed his hand pressing his fingers lightly to Spocks and the vulcan shuddered as a sudden outpouring of Jims emotions washed over him. His trust was overpowering and Spock smiled bowing his head.

"Jim I know what I must do. I will work to relieve my anxiety." The captain smiled softly and stood tugging lightly on his lovers arm. Together they ate breakfast and chatted in muted tones, their gentle banter interrupted by the arrival of McCoy who stomped into the bar grumbling under his breath and stopping with a runt eyes fixed on his friend.

"Guess who just woke me up hailing me from the ship because 'I dinnae want to interrup' the capti'n and mr Spock on their first shore leave'."

Jim pouted at McCoy's pitiful attempt at a Scottish accent and internally decided to give him a bonus at Christmas. "What did he want?"

"Says he needs you on the ship to check over the improvements or something. He also specified you came alone."

Jim's eyebrows shot to his hairline and he glanced at Spock who had wiped almost all the expression from his face as soon as the door had opened as if on impulse.

"Oh…did he say why?"

"Nope."

McCoy pulled out a chair and landed heavily with a thump pulling a piece of toast from Jims plate and biting down. The captain stood pouting sadly at Spock.

"Well I guess I'd better get it over with then… Sorry love I guess I'll see you later."

Spock nodded and lifted a hand up for a quick vulcan kiss before Jim strode back upstairs to change, leaving the vulcan and doctor alone. After a long moment McCoy swallowed his toast and looked up fixing a suspicious gaze on the vulcan.

"Okay you have something to do with this."

Spock said nothing he simply raised an eyebrow and turned striding from the room.

Two hours later and he was stood outside an unfamiliar building stock still mind blank. Suddenly he felt a tight hand on his arm and he turned bowing his head in greeting as Nyota wrapped her arm around his, wearing a flowing black cotton dress and loose hair she smiled, radiant.

"So are you ready? Did you book the restaurant?"

Spock looked down at her and his lips twitched. "I have booked a table at a restaurant recommended by father Jack."

"Good, well Sulu is waiting for us by the transporter pad and we have to hurry. He is supposed to be meeting someone for a botany trip."

Spock raised an eyebrow but said nothing leading his friend towards the transport pads and the lone figure of Sulu, two wrapped packages and a large bouquet of flowers filling his limited grasp. He grinned as they approached handing the parcels over to the commander and winking unsettlingly at him.

Spock could feel his own affection for the crew, his friends bubbling in his stomach and did not block it so they would see it in his eyes. After a awkward moment Sulu waved politely and turned to walk past "Good luck commander."

Spock tilted his head and together they watched the pilot stride away to the navigator who was waiting under a near by tree.

Uhura grinned and began pulling her ex towards father Jacks pub, Spock effortlessly matching her stride. "I hope they are the right sizes, I used the measurement we used for the jackets…what are those flowers? They smell gorgeous."

Spock smiled "They are a favourite of Jim's."

She smiled softly up at him as they approached the doors "See look at you. A natural."

The vulcan felt confusion but did not press the matter instead taking the parcels carefully in his arms, protecting them from the crowds within as he made his way to the room, placing them on the bed with a soft sigh. He knew that being nervous was expected but he had hoped to pass over that particular element in this situation. After a moments consideration he turned and made his way back outside to where Nyota was attracting quite a crowd of men vying for her attention.

Thankfully the commander had become accustomed to this during their relationship and did not even look in their direction, simply walking up and waiting for her to acknowledge him. "Ah and there he is. My hero."

She slipped a hand through his arm and dragged him away smiling and waving goodbye to the crowd of disappointed aliens. Spock smiled at her "I see your remarkable powers over males of any species has not dimished." Uhura blushed.

For several hours the friends wandered the base examining the small number of shops and discussing whether it was imperative Spock attend the 'night out' the bridge crew had planned at the club on base.

As the time approached he became increasingly nervous and found he had developed a strange passion for his shoes. Nyota lifted his face with both hands and smiled.

"Look, it's okay to be nervous. Everybody is nervous every time. Now get upstairs and get changed, McCoy is bringing the captain back in twenty minutes and you have to be ready."

Spock blushed and moved her hands off his face ducking his head. "Thank you Nyota."

He gently pushed past her climbing the stairs in silence and trying in vain to shut down all the emotion attempting to flood his systems. He was nervous beyond anything he had experienced in years and he stared at his reflection in the mirror his face solemn. After he had dressed and combed his hair the vulcan found himself at a loss as how to proceed and so simply sat on the bed hands clasped in front of him as he attempted to meditate.

Exactly six minutes later he heard voices in the hallway and stood hands clasped behind his back. The door swung open and Jim was stood stock still, his eyes wide mouth slack. McCoy quirked one eyebrow and waved a hand "Well my part in this is done. Have fun Jim."

He turned and walked away leaving the captain wordlessly gaping at his lover. Spock just waited and waited and finally bit his lip "Is this is not what you desire?"

Jim shut his mouth a smile slowly growing and growing until his entire face was split by it. The captain strode forward reaching out a hand to stroke it gently across his lover's cheek, his other hand running down his chest and around his waist.

"_This_? This is just… incredible. Spock love, you're wearing a fucking tux!"

Spock blushed "Jim I am uns-"

The shorter man laughed "It's a good thing. God damn you look just…just.."

He jumped up wrapping his arms around the vulcan neck and pressing a intense heated kiss to his lips moaning obscenely, hands slipping down holding him tight. As the kiss ended Spock smiled down at the captain gently releasing him and turning around to lift Jims own suit from the bed handing it over.

The captain beamed at him grasping the parcel and rushing into the bathroom steam rolling out from under the door after a few moments. The vulcan reassessed his mental and emotional state and was relieved to find his anxiety had eased replaced by no small amount of lust. Shuffling on the sheets he licked his lips glancing at the bathroom attempting not to think of what may transpire after the date.

When the door opened the captain appeared amidst a cloud of steam his hair neatly combed to the side, his own suit sharp and finely tailored fitting him perfectly, a soft smile graced his plump lips and Spocks mouth went dry. For a moment he just stared before standing and gesturing the small bouquet towards his lover a shy grin on his gently blushing face.

Jim pouted "Ooh Spoooock."

He took the flowers and grabbed Spocks wrist pulling him towards him for a soft gentle kiss, "So I take it this is a date then?" The vulcan nodded and Jim chuckled "God dammit. How long have you been planning this! Wait… was the crew in on this?"

"Mr. Scott, Mr. Sulu and doctor McCoy were extremely helpful in their own way as was Nyota."

Jim shook his head "What is it with those guys and keeping secrets from me?"

Spock made sure to do all the things he read about, pulling the chair out for Jim at the restaurant carefully choosing the wine for their meal, keeping the conversation light and making sure to listen carefully to everything he said.

"Admit it, you researched this didn't you."

Spock blushed glancing away from the table and Jim's knee bumped against his. "To what due do you draw this conclusion?"

The captain lent back in his chair crossing his arms smirking. "Because that's who you are. Any new situation any new subject, you research it like hell before you even attempt to make a step."

The vulcan considered his response and concluded it was accurate. He could feel embarrassment still making his cheeks and the tips of his ears flush. He titled his head at Jim and the captain leant forward "Hey its okay. You're a scientist is kind of your thing. I mean straight after I met you I spent ages reading Bone's xenobiology textbooks. I wanted to know what I was getting my self in for."

Spock raised an eyebrow mirroring Jims position. "Then when you kissed me in the canteen you knew the purpose of your actions?"

It was the captains turn to flush and he gaped silently at his lover. They were interrupted by the arrival of a waitress her dark eyes fixing on Spock and remaining there.

"What can I get you Mr…?"

Spock looked up at her "My name is Spock. May we have a moment?"

The woman blushed under his punishing gaze and nodded dumbly biting the end of her pen and titling her hips towards him. The vulcan turned back to his date and lifted the menu as they discussed their options the waitress stared blatantly at Spock, eyes trailing up and down his form.

"I will have the caesar salad thank you."

He placed the menu down and looked up at the woman. Jim chuckled "I will have the beef sirloin thanks."

The waitress took their menus eyes still on Spock and turned disappearing quickly into the crowds. Jim raised an eyebrow at his lover but said nothing and the vulcan turned back to him smiling.

"Jim. You were aware of your actions is this correct?"

The captain was straight back to blushing. "Look when I first saw you, sure, I was pissed but kind of less pissed than I would've been had you been y'know less devastatingly hot."

Spock ducked his head to hide his sudden grin "I see and what did you hope to gain from the kiss?"

"Well nothing else I was doing was working so…"

Spock lifted his head frowning "I was not aware any other attempts were made."

Jims mouth dropped open "Seriously!"

The waitress returned placing Jims meal down carefully but still without looking at him instead focussing solely on Spock. "Anything else I can get you Mr. Spock?" she was clearly using her best husky voice and Spock crossed his hands in front of himself.

"No thank you madam. We are quite satisfied."

"You sure? A business man like you might want to sample some of our more expensive wine?"

Spock raised an eyebrow "We have already made our wine choice and I am not a businessman. I am the first officer of the USS enterprise."

She flushed but was not deterred leaning down towards him. "An officer how interesting."

Spock said nothing he just blinked vacantly at her and she stared back at him. "Excuse me. I wish to consume my meal."

She flushed and nodded rushing away from the table. Spock lifted his fork and began to eat but as he consumed his meal he realised Jim was staring at him.

"Seriously? No wonder you didn't notice. Clearly subtle or even blatant flirting just doesn't compute for you."

The vulcan frowned "Are you implying she wished to engage in romantic relations with me?"

"Sweet pea I don't think romance was what she was thinking, something a bit more primal than that."

Spock flushed staring out across the restaurant. "Humans are…illogical. I am here with you Jim, why would she believe I am open to romantic relations?"

"She was obviously hoping we were just on a business dinner. Hey I don't blame the girl, you look stunning tonight."

The commander turned back smiling bumping his own knee against Jims "As do you t'hy'la."

As soon as he finished his meal he placed his fork down and looked up smiling at his captain. "I was not aware you had any affection for me for such a period of time."

"Love I've had a thing for you since I asked to see my accuser."

"In hindsight I realise I found you strangely interesting from that point onwards, however my romantic emotions did not surface until the night of the spring formal."

Jims eyebrows shot up and he laughed "I remember that night… the first time I ever saw you topless."

He said it with a wistful air and Spock could feel his cheeks burning Jims gaze fixated on him.

"I swear I almost swallowed my tongue when I walked through my door and there you were, so serious with these tiny little hair clippings and…"

Jim coughed shifting in his chair and the vulcan was suddenly struck by an insistent thought. "Jim… you did not wish to attend the dance because you did not wish to witness Nyota and I appearing as a couple there?"

Jim sighed nodding. "Yeah. I didn't fancy watching you dance with her."

Spock reached out a hand and grasped his partners gently "I wish you could have attended, I would have gladly danced with you."

The waitress returned and Spock found a sudden interest in the table cloth politely ignoring her. Jim laughed "Don't mind him. He is a little shy aren't you love?"

Spock looked up and smiled at the captain.

"Oh are you two…together?"

Jim grinned up at her "Yes we are."

Her polite smile dimmed and she glanced once more at Spock before turning fully to face the captain "Would you like a dessert menu sir?"

"Uhh yes I'd like two of your passion fruit desserts thanks."

"Right away."

She disappeared again and Jim laughed putting his hand across the table and on top of Spocks. "Your _face_! Chill out love I'm she isn't offended, you just have to be a bit more forceful when you tell her to back off."

Jim began to regale his lover with tales of his time at the academy and this one woman he had dated that had stalked him after he ended their relationship and Spock listened intensely shocked at the strange behaviour of the numerous women Jim talked about.

When their dessert arrived Spock still said nothing but did smile politely at her, his lips twitching a tiny amount at the corners, eyes less harsh. She blushed glancing at the captain who grinned arrogantly back at her. The vulcan instead stared at the dessert curiously titling his head to the side. He was not familiar with passion fruit and his natural curiosity was making him tense, his mouth watering slightly with anticipation.

"Jim I have not tried passion fruit…"

"Trust me its delicious."

The vulcan nodded because he did trust Jim and so he beamed inwardly taking a tiny sliver off the top and placing the spoon on his tongue. It was tangy and sweet filling his mouth with the overpowering flavour, he let out a quiet moan, loading his spoon for another bite and Jim laughed raucously from the other side of the table his knees bumping against the vulcans as he shook in his seat.

"Oh love, I should make you try new things all the time._**All**__ the time_."

When they finished their desserts Spock paid and pulled Jims chair out as he stood, leading him out of the restaurant and into the now slightly biting cold wind outside. The street lights had come on bathing them in a dull orange glow and together they walked in silence Jims fingers wrapped around Spocks wrist two of them extended so the rested against two of his lovers causing a warm buzz to spread up the vulcans arm.

When they reached the pub the couple stopped the shorter man turning on the spot so he was facing his lover. "Thanks Spock, that was…perfect."

Spock beamed at him reaching out to pull the captain closer "I am glad. I must admit to some level of anxiety before the events."

Jim grinned and leant upwards pressing a gentle loving kiss to the taller mans lips, his tongue sweeping over Spocks bottom lip, hands sliding up to grasp the back of his neck. When they pulled back he glanced down blushing, his eyes drawn to Jim's communicator on the ground near by. It must've fallen from his pocket during their embrace and so he reached out for it bending down on one knee to grasp it.

He looked up "Jim?"

The captain looked down at him eyebrows shooting to his hairline eyes wide. Spock stood and handed him the communicator and Jim stared at it as though it were alien. After an awkward moment the vulcan placed a hand on his elbow.

"Jim? Are you alright?"

He smiled too brightly his action jerky eyes full of disappointment. "What? Yeah I'm...I'm fine! No I mean I'm…I feel a bit dizzy. Maybe I need to lie down."

Spock raised an eyebrow but did not press the issue instead placing a hand on his lovers back and leading him through the still heaving bar and up the stairs to their room, helping him to lie down on the bed. When the captain's eyes had closed Spock turned to leave now not hiding the frown that had been threatening to form on his features as he guided his lover to the room.

He re-entered the bar making his way over to a familiar hunched figure gesturing wildly almost slamming a hand into the vulcans face as he leant closer to speak to the man.

"Oh sorry Spock didn't see you there. How did the big date go?"

Spock titled his head "The events were pleasurable however I must admit doctor there is something I wish to discuss with you in private."

McCoy rolled his eyes sliding from his seat "Fine."

The doctor did not wait for the commander he simply pushed through the crowd disappearing through the heavy wooden doors without looking back. The science officer waited for a brief second before following his friend out into the cool nights air, spotting him instantly sat on a bench a few metres away.

"Alright spit it out. What did you do?"

Spock pressed his lips together re-evaluating the events that had confused him. "Whilst engaged in an embrace with me the captain dropped his communicator. I knelt down and picked it up for him and this seemed to cause some level of discomfort to him."

McCoy just stared "First I did not need to know that you were engaged in anything. Second what do you mean you bent down and…oooh _shit_. How exactly did you kneel?"

Spock raised an eyebrow and sank to one knee mirroring the posture he had used. McCoy slapped a hand to his face "For god's sake. Get your stupid vulcan arse off the floor. Spock, I think I know why he got so weird."

Spock placed his hands behind his back leaning forward in anticipation. "You bloody idiot, he probably thought you were _proposing!"_

Spock blinked slowly "I see…"

McCoy sighed "So he was kind of disappointed to think you were proposing only for you to hand him his communicator…"

"I see…"

"So you had better talk to him."

"How **do** I propose?"

Bones jaw dropped "WHAT? You mean you actually… Oh come _on_… I swear you two are just ridiculous. You know what you deserve each other."

He stopped his rant for a second letting out a long gruff breath his eyes examining Spocks decidedly blank features.

"You are serious about this? You are actually considering proposing to him the human way?"

Spock lifted his chin gazing up at the sky "Jim is human and therefore it is reasonable to accommodate this."

"What about vulcan marriage?"

"I do not wish to force my culture on him."

Bones rolled his eyes and stood gazing sternly at the commander. "Come on."

Spock raised an eyebrow but followed the grumbling doctor towards the transport pads and subsequently onto the ship, one of Scotty's engineers greeting them in the transporter room.

"I have just come to get something from my office. I heard the life support is operational now in sickbay?"

The engineer nodded and Spock was dragged along in the still murmuring doctors wake. They entered sickbay and the doctors grumbling growing in volume "Dust everywhere, unhygienic unnecessary."

The vulcan followed him to the office and waited patiently in the doorway as the doctor strode around his desk collapsing into his chair and pulling open the bottom drawer in his desk. The vulcan said nothing and McCoy sighed looking at something in the drawer.

"Doctor, as I have already professed my wish to form a matrimonial bond with Jim and as his father is deceased and you are the closest male…._relative_ he has, terran custom dictates that I must ask for your permission to marry him."

He watched Bones reaction carefully and leant back in shock as he let out a loud bark of laughter a hand on his stomach as he shook with his hysteria. Finally after several minutes the doctor wiped a tear from under his eyes and lifted a wooden box from the drawer placing it on the desk in front of him.

"Spock… Jim has never needed my permission to do anything and he doesn't need it now. However in your convoluted space fairy way I think you just asked for my approval. You make him happy and when he is happy he is less likely to do something stupid. It makes my job and therefore my life easier and…you don't seem like the type to cheat or dump on him so I say its all fine by me."

Spock smiled the shadow of anxiety he had formed when considering this conversation was sated and he was relieved, joyous even. McCoy rolled his eyes "You cannot be serious, you honestly thought I would say _no_?"

He looked down opening the box and sifting through what appeared to be old style terran photographs and letters reaching for a small black box. He pulled it out and put it on the desk pushing it towards the vulcan.

"If you are going to propose you're gonna need those."

Spock walked forwards, lifting the box and gently opening it to reveal two thin golden bands, one heavy and thicker than the other. He looked back to the doctor opening his mouth to question when a hand was held up to silence him.

"Look, they were my grandparents, it's a family thing and…I don't plan on getting married again, **ever**, and like you said Jim is family so it only seems right you guys use the rings."

McCoy was not looking at him; he was staring at a photo in the box. The vulcan closed the box clasping it tightly behind his back and stepping forward peering cautiously at the worn picture.

It was Jim and Bones arms on each others shoulders wearing shorts and thin cotton t-shirts on the shore, a lake. Jim had his head turned leaning on the doctor's shoulder an easy smile and Bones was squinting, as happy as Spock had ever seen him, back at the photographer.

Spock looked up and the doctor was looking at him "It was the first summer at the academy. We went back to mine because Jims mum was being…well Jims mum. So he came home with me and we went to the lake. He is my brother Spock and I love him like one."

Spock nodded, understood, a question forming in his mind although for once he was unsure of his phrasing, stumbling over the words. "Then I expect you will be his… his…"

An eyebrow rose and the doctor replaced the box in its drawer standing "Yeah you are gonna need to find your own best man…or woman."

Spock smiled slightly disappointed, the doctor had become a close friend something rare for the commander and he had wanted to include him. However he was sure that Jim would choose him and was happy with this situation.

The two men walked back to the pub the doctor explaining the general rules of proposal and divulging how he had proposed to his ex wife, Spock's fingers tightly grasping the small black box as he listened, it was heavier than it seemed and anchored him. The doctor left him at the door waving goodbye with the friendliest expression he had ever given him plastering his features.

Spock felt…confident…exited and he allowed it to flow through his veins, to propel him forward through the crowds and up to the door. He knocked for some unknown reason and entered the room and for once he was glad to see the Jim had not undressed.

"T'hy'la?"

The captain sat up suddenly his eyes fixed on Spock who purposely kept his hands behind his back, hiding the box.

"Are you feeling recuperated enough to join me for a walk?"

Jim licked his lips looking Spock over and turned placing his feet on the floor. "Yeah."

The silence enclosed them as they entered a small side street and Spock pushed forward through a large metal gate into a small garden he had spotted earlier. There were low hanging trees and soft blue grass and the two huge moons above glow softly in the night sky.

Jim looked up his face relaxing tense muscles becoming loose and he sighed. Spock moved up beside him gazing up as well, he looked back down at Jims face his almost too blue eyes shone with calm relaxed energy and the vulcan smiled placing a hand on his arm to pull him around and the captain looked him fully in the eyes.

Spock licked his lips and he seemed to escape the situation to float away as though he were viewing from a third person perspective and slid slowly down on to one knee pulling the box from behind him and holding it up to the captain the lid opening with a snap.

Jims eyes grew wider and wider and he seemed to stop breathing, his face paling slightly. His hands jerked up as if of their own volition and grasped desperately to each other as though seeking support.

Jim licked his lip and whispered something. Spock raised and eyebrow and Jim chuckled blushing suddenly shaking his head "Y—yes of course yes a billion times over."

He raised a hand and Spock slid the thicker of the two bands onto his ring finger the warm buzz sparking between them as he removed his hand. Standing he was suddenly knocked over by a mass of limbs and pleasant cool skin flying into his arms lips insistent on his neck as they landed hard on the ground.

Spock let out a soft exhale at the contact and Jim giggled slapping a hand to his mouth, horrified.

"You didn't hear that."

"I cannot lie Jim. I heard you laugh in a way that can only be described as a giggle."

Jim punched him lightly on the chest "Shut up. You can't tell anyone."

"I must inform doctor McCoy it may be a symptom of a more serious infliction."

Jim glared at him legs entwined his entire weight on Spocks chest, suit ruffled and rumpled tie gone, grass stains on his clean white shirt, hair back to his regular 'sticking up everywhere' style.

"_You_ are the most serious infliction I have."


	20. Chapter 20

_A/N: Thanks again to all my regulars, you guys are awesome. Lots of fluff and Spock over-thinking in this chapter. Too be honest there isn't much plot because I wanted to get these scenes out before the next chapter._

They walked shoulders bumping into each other through the bar and up the stairs, Spock fighting to keep the corners of his mouth from twitching just as Jim beamed, his eyes meeting the vulcans every few moments and glancing away and down to his hand and back to Spock.

It was fascinating.

When they reached the room Jim unlocked the door pushing it open with one hand and pulling Spock in chuckling, the other hand reaching around his waist pulling the commander to parallel his side. The couple turned to face Bones who was lain on his bed, ankles crossed, back up against the headboard, face buried in a medical textbook his lips moving as he read.

Spock considered the image his mind filling with a strange pulse of affection. The doctor, his friend.

After a moment he sniffed and turned a page his eyes flickering up and staying there. After raising an eyebrow he pursed his lips, carefully laying the heavy tome on the side unit and swinging his feet over the edge of the bed. Jim grinned up at Spock and let him go; stepping forwards a little, his smile dimming only slightly.

"Bones… t…the rings…"

Bones actually smiled and raised an eyebrow getting to his feet with his hands on his hips, "Don't go sappy on me boy. Just because the space fairy proposed doesn't give you a free pass to start crying or something."

The captain blushed slightly and laughed attempting macho posturing, striding up to pat his friend on the back a little too hard.

"Thanks man."

He moved to turn away when the doctor sighed and pulled him into a tight one armed hug, the captain biting his lip.

"Congratulations."

"Thanks that mean a lot."

"Yeah yeah."

He let him go with a sharp slap to his arm and Jim turned back to Spock grinning broadly "I can't wait to tell everyone! It just sucks that we are going to have to wait to actually get married you know…"

His smile dimmed a little eyes unfocussed for a second and Spock tried to smile encouragingly, his eyes soft, lips arched slightly "I am sure we will find the time t'hy'la."

The captain crossed his arms and walked back to his lover a hand reaching up to cup his cheek. "I know I know…I just want everyone to know you're mine and I'm yours…"

Spock glanced at the doctor, who had slapped a hand to his eyes muttering under his breath, and then back down to Jim, smiling. He bent down brushing his lips softly against Jims his own hand covering the captains, a pleasant warm buzz exuding from every ridge and reservoir in the shorter mans hand.

"Perhaps Jim we may not wait for an extended period of time. As captain you are aware that Starfleet often grant shore leave in short periods close together rather than spread out equally throughout a year. This is often seen as a disadvantage however in this case it is most fortunate."

The captain grinned and kissed him back.

"Yeah I guess you're right."

After a moment there was a grunt from across the room and Bones crossed his arms. "If you two are quite done, seeing as you have nothing better to do are you going to the party?"

Jim whipped around and stared at his friend a manic glint in his eyes. "Party? You never said there was a party!"

"Well everyone knew you were on your date tonight, they thought you'd be busy. Actually they are probably there now." The doctor glanced at his watch and back to the captain raising an eyebrow.

Jim turned back to Spock his face softening eyes pleading. The vulcan blinked slowly and dipped his head just a tiny amount to indicate he wasn't adverse to the plan and Jim jumped up punching the air.

"Yeah! Sweet. Now we can tell everyone! Aren't you excited? I'm excited."

Spock smiled "Then it is imperative we attend."

Eight minutes later and Spock once again found himself following the doctor and his friend through the narrow brightly lit streets, his sensitive ears only barely picking up on their conversation. They were discussing the wedding, the doctor nodding his head as Jim outlined his ideas, hands waving in front of him.

He wanted a simple small ceremony, just the crew and maybe Spocks father. The vulcan paused at this but decided not to comment, carefully shutting out the strange anxiety the idea caused. Then there was an awkward beat and Jim looked sadly down, the vulcan almost instinctively moving forward to comfort him.

But he was stopped by the doctor who placed a hand on the captains shoulder "Hey maybe a couple of days with Jack has done her some good? You never know…."

Jim looked up at him a smile starting to grow on his face again "It's a bit weird isn't it…wanting the one person who…who was the worst part of my life for so long to be there on what's going to be the happiest?"

Spock smiled and Jim glanced back to him his lips curving upwards a fraction more.

"Nah, I mean no matter what she did she is still your mom. Plus it shows her that the hobgoblin is there to stay so she has no choice but to accept it."

Spock glared at the doctor and moved up to wrap two fingers and a thumb around the captains wrist the other two leaving a warm trail down the back of his hand and to his fingertips.

"Yeah. You're right. I mean I'm James T Kirk for god's sake, I'm not afraid of anybody."

He grinned wildly and glanced sideways at Spock his eyes flashing dangerously for a second, rubbing his fingers a little more intensely against the vulcans.

He snatched his hand back quickly placing it behind his back, eyes off into the distance in an effort to control the electric spark of arousal that had flashed up his arm and through his veins.

"Or anything…" His voice was low and Spock realised perhaps Jim was attempting to tell him something. For a moment his mind whirred and he knew almost a full second later (clearly the arousal had dulled his cognition somewhat) that Jim was trying to tell him he was ready to go further with Spock, that he wasn't afraid of the vulcans…problems. Spock felt his veins burn with warmth his heart pounding, the captain trusted him so deeply, and perhaps he was right to…

They reached the club a few minutes later the music already exceedingly loud and filtering trough open windows and the wide sleek doorway dripping with a beaded curtain. Jim tugged lightly with his hand and Spock stepped closer to him the captain shielding the vulcan from the bustling crowd and their oppressive minds.

Slowly they forced their way to a familiar formation ahead, the bridge crew standing out sharply dressed and talking animatedly. Bones strode ahead barging through the crowd as though they did not exist leaving confused or shocked faces in his wake.

Jim pushed after him apologising as he led his lover through the hoards to a semi private area where the crew had set up base one or two leaving every few moments to get drinks. There was an almighty cheer as the small party arrived, the group surrounding them offering drinks and moving in time to the pounding music.

Spock allowed Jim to let go of his wrist and made sure to stay just behind him as he waved his hands silencing the crew with surprising ease. They stood around him in a circle, faces expectant and Jim glanced to Spock grinning a light flush forming on his cheeks.

Then he turned "I have an announcement to make…_we_ have an announcement to make."

Instantly all eyes turned on Spock and he made sure to wipe most of the emotion from his face his eyes flickering around the group noting that most of them appeared curious whereas Uhura seemed more shocked than anything else.

Jim bit his lip and raised his hand showing the ring. "We are getting married."

There was a beat of silence before the group exploded into chatter, the crew rushing forward clapping the captain on the back shaking his hand, congratulating him. For a few minutes Spock just watched as Uhura cooed over the band holding Jims hand up into the light.

Then there was a second where the entire crews eyes slipped upwards and they stared at him, at each other and back at him. Scotty frowned and pushed through pausing for a just a second before encasing the surprised commander in a brief but bone crushing hug. Spock raised his eyebrows at Jim who burst out laughing and awkwardly patted the engineer on the back.

"Congratulations commander."

Scotty beamed at him and the vulcan raised an eyebrow bowing his head "Thank you Mr. Scott."

Uhura sidled up to him as Bones brought back a round of drinks the crew beginning to dance as the song changed. "You proposed…."

Spock looked down at her titling his head "I… there was a misunderstanding that caused me to realise that he is t'hy'la and therefore it is only logical that I confirm his presence for the future."

She raised an eyebrow bumping her shoulder into him. "So you asked him because you really _really_ wanted to?"

Spock smiled and tilted his head and Uhura put her hand on his arm "I am so happy for you Spock."

"Your emotions mean a great deal to me Nyota."

She smiled at him her smile dropping as she looked at point past his shoulder. The vulcan turned and raised an eyebrow, a man was approaching, his handsome face split by a wide beam, dark brown eyes glittered under black brows and curly black hair cut close to his head. He moved with confidence, a closefitting black t-shirt with some form of orange design on the front and black tight fitting jeans teamed with a pair of shocking orange trainers.

Uhura let go of Spocks arm and waved at the man who waved back striding forwards and coming to a stop a few feet in front of the pair. He put a hand on the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly.

"Nyota."

Uhura blushed and stepped forward kissing the new man on the cheek, her gaze flickering to the commander and back. Spocks mouth twitched, clearly this was the man she had romantic emotions for and this caused him to frown. A strange sensation much like a soft kick to his lower abdomen made him blink at the new man his eyes wide.

Nyota turned to him her slightly stretched smile dimming slightly "This is Spock….my friend."

The man nodded at him and Spock raised an eyebrow "Professor Mark Robin, team leader of the star base botany projects."

A surprised sound from the professor and he turned back to Nyota "I lost a small number of my scientists to the project three months ago. You are no doubt here to study the remarkable gardens and local plant life."

"Uh…yeah actually, how did you…?"

"I ensure that all of my scientists will go on to work under a respectable scientist. Your image was included in your service file."

"Oh."

Uhura shook her head placing a hand on his arm her eyes warm, soft. Spock frowned the soft kick to his stomach hitting him again and he recognised it as jealousy.

"So you met the ex…why don't you go meet the rest of the crew?"

"Sure, see ya Spock."

"Goodbye professor."

Uhura watched him walk away her hand tightening harder and harder on the vulcans arm and she turned to him her eyes flickering left and right. "Spock… you remember when I said I had feelings for somebody else?"

Spock ducked his head a smile sliding across his face "Nyota he is a brilliant scientist, I have Jim. You need not concern yourself with my….emotions."

She beamed at him jumping up and hugging him tightly for a second before releasing him and holding the vulcan at arms length "Thank you Spock. I wanted to tell you but… there was never a right time."

He just nodded his head and she placed a hand on his cheek her smile wide, shoulders relaxed. "Perhaps you should spend your time with professor Robin. He may get the wrong impression."

She laughed tapping her hand to his face before removing her hands and holding them in the surrender position. "Okay point taken."

After a moment where she gave him a scrutinizing gaze she turned walking slowly up to the new man and sliding her hand in his. Spocks own answering smile faded slightly as he watched them interact with the crew.

She was always difficult to read but even Spock could see Mark made her happy and although the vulcan still cared for Nyota he did not love her, he nodded almost to himself his mind clouded with his warring emotions.

Suddenly he was knocked out of his reverie by a slightly wobbly captain jostling next to him, blocking his line of sight. The captains eyes were rimmed in pink and his lips curved in a giddy smile. A hand came up and grasped the vulcans shoulder and Jim turned his head to look at the lieutenant and professor and then back to Spock frowning his lips pouting eyes sad.

After a moment he glanced upwards and bit his lip placing both hands over the vulcans ears, his expression easing a little. Spock waited for an explanation inwardly jumping in shock when Jims mind brushed against his and he heard the captains distinct tones in his head.

"Is the music too loud?"

"No"

"Liar. I can feel your headache and I'm not even trying"

Spock sighed internally forgetting for a moment the captain could hear that too.

"See. Or are other things making your head hurt?"

Spock looked down into his eyes raising his own hand to cup the shorter mans cheek. "When Nyota ended our relationship I was not… I did not feel distressed. However seeing her with another man who visually makes her happier then I did causes me some…discomfort. I hope you do no think this affects my emotions concerning you Jim."

The captain rolled his eyes titling his head into Spocks palm. "Sweet pea….what you are feeling is pretty damn normal and I know how you feel, I can feel it too remember."

Spock smiled and lent down pressing his lips softly against the captains. "So we are getting married, you ready for this?"

Spock smiled again "Affirmative."

Jim smiled and just as he released Spocks ears the vulcan heard a stray thought his mind instantly mourning the loss of Jims, trying to hold onto it.

'_Why won't you bond with me_….'

Spock danced with Uhura; he danced with Jim he even danced with Sulu for a couple of minutes whilst Jim collected more drinks. He allowed his affection to show, he joined in conversation but he was not present.

Not fully.

His mind was whirring sorting filing every inclination and tone of what the captain had said the expressions he showed him. He concentrated on how he could tell Jim that he… couldn't and wouldn't force him to bond with Spock, a bond between human and vulcan was…dangerous. Jim wasn't ready for it, may never be, and no matter how much he wanted or desired to bond with that bright shining mind he knew it wasn't possible.

The captain didn't truly understand the implications; they would have to inform the council travel to vulcan. They would never allow him to bond with a human especially a male human not to mention it would involve informing his father.

Although, Sarek by vulcans standards was highly unusual, marrying a human, admitting that he loved her even he would not accept such an odd situation. Spock mind was struck by a flash of something he would allow only himself to know, he was _afraid_ to tell his father.

The situation was so complicated, his focus was strained by it and Spock blinked, the captain instantly at his side eyebrows drawn together hand on his arm.

"What's wrong love?"

Spock looked down "The pain has not lessened Jim. I shall retire to our room."

Jim raised an eyebrow "Alright I'll come with you."

Spock opened his mouth to argue but his voice was drowned out by the captains drunken shout "Alright guys me and Spock are off. Good night!" he waved a hand and bodily yanked Spock from his seat dragging him through the club at surprisingly speed and out into the biting cold.

They walked in silence Jim swaying left and right his brow furrowed as thought he was concentrating hard on some difficult equation. Spock watched him carefully…it was true he wanted to bond with Jim but to risk him and everything he was… it was a terrifying responsibility and here he was, so venerable.

Spock quickly cleared his mind setting up blocks, not today, the day where Jim agreed to marry him. Today was supposed to be a good day and he would not allow a single thing to mar such perfection.

Jim turned to him grinning wickedly and with faux-nonchalance he stepped sideways his fingers hovering enticingly close to Spocks gently barely brushing against them as they walked.

His entire mind focussed on that hand almost forgetting his inner turmoil as it concentrated on the gentle buzz of the sparks as they shot up his nerves, forming a pulsing ball at the back of his mind that grew and grew until he could barely contain his want anymore.

They had managed to reach the stairwell before he lost control and turned sharply pressing Jim up against the wall bringing their faces together roughly his tongue darting out and tasting the alcohol on Jims breath, the tang of sweat and Jims own scent only proving to drive Spock further into his need, pushing their hips together for delicious friction.

Jim grunted and turned away pulling Spocks arms as they stumbled up the stairs and down the corridor hands warm against the vulcans skin. They burst through the door and landed heavily on the nearest bed their lips finding each other his hands running up and down Jim's chest deftly unbuttoning his shirt and smoothing over his chest.

The captain arched his back moaning and Spock chuckled moving to lick and bite at his lovers neck, savouring his taste, pressing closer when Jims own hands moved shakily up to tug at the vulcans shirt and he smiled helping him remove his shirt, hands already on the blonde mans trousers unzipping them and rolling them over as the captain kicked his legs free, shoes long forgotten.

He groaned as Jim ground down on him biting his lip and pressing soft kisses up his jaw and then torturously softly he bit the tip of Spocks ear. He growled pulling his head down to attach their mouths in a battle of tongues and teeth, his mind clouded with lust, hands raking up and through his hair and slowly but surely the kiss softened, their hands slowed to a gentle caress.

The vulcan sighed inwardly the pressing desire to meld still there but he found he did not fear it and could simply ignore it in the face of the warmth flooding his mind.

Jim pulled back slightly grinning "See told you, I trust you not lose it."

Spock raised an eyebrow "Your trust is admirable and I am pleased to hear it however perhaps your lips would be more useful in another endeavour."

The captain chuckled and pressed a kiss to the tip of Spocks nose and the vulcan mock glared his eyes alight with humour. "Jim that was not what I had in mind."

Jim laughed deeply resting his head on Spocks chest pulling his arms around him and beginning another long gentle loving kiss. Suddenly the door burst open startling the couple and a loud yell followed by the door slamming closed again made them pull apart slightly.

Jim raised an eyebrow "Oh dear….I think Bones might have accidently walked in on us again."

His eyes were glowing with love and affection, his plump lips bruised and wrapped around pointed white teeth in a easy smile, his hair sticking up where Spocks fingers had gripped and cheeks still flushed.

"I love you t'hy'la."

Jim chuckled "I love you to." The vulcan raised and hand Jim gently pressed his fingers two it.

"I'd better go get Bones…"

His voice sounded unsure as though he was considering something and Spock clutched him tighter rearranging his head on the pillow. Jim's skin was cooling, soothing Spocks own heated flesh calming him and clearing his cluttered mind.

He sighed inwardly hesitant to ask what was on the captains mind.

"Spock… I want to bond with you."

He paused blinking at his lover's wide eyes his teeth nervously nibbling on his lip.

"Jim… we cannot."

"Why not!"

His voice took on a slightly forced playful tone and Spock frowned internally his mind revolving around his thoughts from earlier.

"You are human; forming a bond with your mind is dangerous."

"Don't give me that bullshit, I know what's involved and I know that you want it Spock."

"Jim it is my culture not yours I cannot force you simply because I desire it nor will I allow you to force yourself. I will not."

Jim let his head fall to Spocks chest and he huffed out a breath "My god you are an idiot."

A sharp eyebrow rose "I am an idiot for wanting you to make your own decisions."

"No you're an idiot because I already made my decision. I chose you."

Spock frowned but did not comment "And because I chose you I chose your culture, your 'lack of emotion', your amazingly attractive but weird biology, your frankly adorable ability to cling to the rule book no matter what, _everything_."

He flexed his fingers to indicate quotation marks as he spoke and Spocks lips twitched, his mind slowly filling with warmth flooding the fear that came with this conversation.

"Jim I am…afraid. To form a bond is a complicated process…"

"Hey everyone is scared of commitment babe. Getting married _terrifies_ me but that doesn't mean we shouldn't do it, I love you. It's really that simple. Plus the whole bonding thing is… I know it's a complicated process and that's why…that's why I already started it."

He ducked his head hiding his eyes and Spocks mouth dropped open, his mind stuttering to a stop. Jim slowly looked up "Oh god, don't be mad… I just thought, hey if I ask him and he says no I can just stop the process but if…if you said yes then we are already mostly a third of the way there."

Spock pulled Jim upwards kissing him and running his fingers through his hair.

"Jim I…I...how did you know what it entailed."

Jim blushed and sat up straddling the commander "I uh…asked."

Spock frowned slightly suddenly everything clicked into place "The ambassador?"

"Yeah… that's why he was teaching me the mind thing, so I have a better chance of surviving the bond. I was curious about you and I didn't want to be all irritating asking you questions all the time so I asked him what you'd want from me."

Spock frowned "What did he say?"

"He told me and his captain that they loved each other but they were never…exclusive. Jim wasn't able to commit and eventually when he…he died, the ambassador wasn't even with him. I just I didn't want that to happen to us I didn't want you to think I was only in this because you're devastatingly hot."

His face was solemn hands on Spocks chest, eyes trained on the curly dark hair he found there. Spock couldn't breathe his eyes wide as he just stared up at his lover. Jim licked his lip and made eye contact.

"So now you know that I want this because I. Want. _This_… will you bond with me?"

His chest heaved with his sudden breath as a single word crossed his mind and he had no doubt.

"Yes"

Jim beamed down at him moving backwards so he could pull the vulcan up and into a tight enveloping hug. They sat in silence like that for a moment before Jim giggled against the skin of Spocks shoulder.

"Heh I guess this means we are double engaged then…_kinky_."

Spock laughed too and Jim pulled back clasping his head with both hands and pressing a wet kiss to his forehead.

"God I wish I could make you laugh more. Actually that's it that's my life goal from now on to make you laugh."

Spock raised an eyebrow his lisp quirking about to speak when there was a groan from the hallway, he closed his mouth glancing sideways and back to Jim.

"Perhaps we should change and then invite the doctor in. He appears to be unwell."


	21. Chapter 21

_A/N: Okay reeaaally long one for you guys. Lots happening today (: Thanks again to all my reviewers you all deserve enterprise cookies 3_

Jim sighed rolling his eyes. "Do we have to?"

Spock sat up fully gently manoeuvring the captain off his lap so they were sat side by side. Silently he began to button up his shirt politely ignoring the stare he was receiving.

"Jim…" A warning.

With an overdramatic sigh Jim got to his feet strutting towards the door, the vulcan resisted rolling his eyes.

"Jim...clothes."

The blonde man turned arms crossed, hip jutted to the left eyes narrowed.

"But _Spock_…"

He simply raised an eyebrow wiping the emotion from his face, hiding his love, affection and most importantly his amusement, blinking in surprise when it actually seemed to work.

"FINE, fine…but remember I'm doing this for your benefit, _not_ his."

Spock raised an eyebrow coolly and stood, crossing his own arms to mirror the shorter man "I fail to see how the addition of clothing to your visage is in any way beneficial to me Jim."

The captain paused holding one of Spocks black t-shirts, his cheeks flushing vibrant red. "You can't just say things like that!"

Spock chuckled inwardly and licked his lips, he tilted his head allowing his amusement to shine in his eyes and Jim bit his lip eyes following the vulcans tongue, shaking his head as he turned and pulled the tee over his head.

He kept his eyes off of the vulcan as he swung around, striding to the door and kicking it open, posing dramatically in the doorway as he stared down at the lump moaning on the floor, his chief medical officer.

Spock watched from beside the bed as his lover let out a pained noise and stepped forwards wrapping an arm around the older mans waist, pulling his friends arms over his shoulder so he could support him. Glancing back at the vulcan he raised an eyebrow but said nothing carefully dragging/walking the doctor into the room and dropping him heavily on his bed.

He chuckled when a almost empty bottle of bourbon rolled from his friends sweaty fumbling hand and the doctor groaned pulling himself up to his elbows eyes rolling slightly as he focussed on his friend.

"Why you so…so big in the britches?"

"Me and Spock are going to bond."

Spock instantly shut down on the shock caused by Jims brazen attitude and watched the doctor carefully. His eyes first narrowed at Jim and then slowly they turned on Spock boring deep into him.

"You _bastard_. It could drive him insane you selfish stupid son of a-"

Suddenly Jim slapped his oldest friend with a sound like the crack of a whip and everything was silent for a long long time. Spock forced his eyes away from the older mans shocked confused expression and up to the captain, his eyes widening when he realised that his lover was shaking, lips in a tight white line, every muscle tensed.

The vulcan strode forwards placing his hand on the cool skin of his lovers exposed arm and pulled lightly "He…"

"Jim he is inebriated he does not mean what he says."

There was whimper from behind him and the vulcan turned raising both eyebrows in shock at the doctors suddenly innocent and hurt expression.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean it. Don't be angry Jim…I love you kid."

Jims shoulders slumped his anger dissipating almost instantly, replaced by a tired over worn expression and he sighed sadly "I'm so sorry. I love you too Bones. Sleepy times now."

He reached out pushing the doctor down and onto his side "M'happy for you…the hobgoblin isn't such a bad guy."

Jims expression eased and he chuckled "I know…"

"Shhh don' tellim I said tha."

"I won't."

"Promises promises."

Bones grunted and wiped his hand down his face, smiling childishly up at the captain before closing his eyes, passing out a few moments later.

The next morning Jim woke with a snort, his tongue grazing Spocks skin as he licked his lips, hand clenching in the sheets the other playing with the thin trail of hair on the vulcans stomach.

Spock looked down at him and waited for Jim to make eye contact before he spoke "Good morning t'hy'la."

"Mornin' lover."

"Have you rested well?"

"Mmm I'm gonna need some happy pills before I'm anywhere near coherent sweet pea."

Spocks lips twitched and he reached out grasping the small paper cup containing two headache pills he had prepared when Jim had fallen asleep and handed them to the dozing man.

"God I love you, prepared for anything. You'd make the best boy scout….king of the boy scouts. Hey did they have boy scouts on vulcan?"

Spock said nothing he simply sat thinking over his plan ignoring the voice that told him to just stay here, like this all morning and the rest of the day. Jims sleepy tones snapped him out of his reverie.

"Did you sleep well?"

"I did not."

"Aww nightmares?"

"No Jim I simply had no desire for sleep."

"Oh…so you just lay there…all night?"

"Affirmative. Although I was not 'just lying there' I was thinking about our bond."

Jim was quiet for a few seconds before pressing a soft kiss to Spocks forehead.

"Oh?"

He was feigning nonchalance again and the vulcan licked his lips, putting what Jim referred to as his 'oh I'm so noble and serious' face on. "If you are to go through with the stages involved, I have devised a way for it to be less dangerous for you. I will create a juvenile bond with your mind."

Jim frowned "What's that?"

"It is a fragile link, much like that formed between betrothed vulcan children however our bond will be less strong even then that, but it will mean you have been through the initial stages at a weaker level."

"Oh… so it's like putting a IV tube in so you can put lots of different injections in the same hole instead of loads of different ones."

He felt confusion but quickly blocked it carefully picking the analogy apart. "Yes I suppose it is."

Jim beamed "Sounds great….how do we do it then?"

Spock looked down trying to clear his mind, calm himself.

"Jim, may I have a few moments to meditate?"

"Oh…oh oh excuse me, sorry."

Jim extracted himself from between the sheets stopping when he spotted the doctors empty bed, his face dropping.

"What happened to Bones?"

"He awoke some hours earlier and stated he felt the need to vomit and I have not seen him since."

Jim nodded, distracted "Oh right."

The captain walked slowly out of the room glancing at Spock just as he entered the bathroom. Spock waited for the door to close before he began to breathe deeply, slowly and carefully removing all lingering traces of emotions from his mind, building his blocks so they were strong enough to withstand anything he felt.

For a few minutes he sat in silence checking and rechecking his mental and physical barriers ensuring they were solid before he began pulling himself out of his trance.

When he came to Jim was leant in the doorway his eyes soft a smile quirked about his lips. "Found Bones. Sleeping with his porcelain princess."

Spock raised an eyebrow "May they dream in peace."

The captain chuckled, his nervous energy making his hands shake slightly as he shut the bathroom door behind him and causing him to pause before striding over to the vulcan. He hesitated again before setting himself down, hands on his knees, head down.

Spock sighed and pulled Jim round to face him, hands on his arms trying to catch his eye. "Are you sure you wish to do this captain."

"Don't call me captain when we are about to actually do…do this."

"I must be positive that you have no-"

"Lets do this."

Spock sighed smiling and placed a hand on Jim shoulder fingers flexing for a second. The captain grinned and leant forwards his lips pressing softly to the edge of the vulcans mouth, forehead brushing against his, eyes locked on.

After a moment the commander pulled back and raised his hand Jims eyes full of trust and excitement.

"Jim you must attempt to clear your mind as much as possible."

The captain screwed his eyes shut whispering under his breath. He waited patiently for the captains words to slow and when he finally lifted his eye lids and looked at Spock, the vulcan could see Jim had done as he'd asked.

The ambassador had taught him well.

"I will now attempt to first meld with you and then from within your mind I will form the bond."

Jim nodded and Spock took a deep breath relaxing enough to press his fingers to Jims psi points feeling the desire to do so ghost behind his barriers. The meld was weak, fragile at first and he stood on the edge of a great chasm, the brink of his lovers mind.

For a few moments he just hovered there in the cool breeze bathed in golden light before he began to descend. Jims consciousness joined him and together they went deeper and deeper the captains calm trusting energy strengthening Spock.

He could not only feel but see the captain's emotions here, flashes of colour out of the corner of his eye and Spock sighed; there was love, trust, guilt, fear, and affection all around him.

It was so cluttered here.

"I will now attempt to form the bond. You may feel some pressure but do not be scared t'hy'la. I will not harm you."

He grew warm and knew Jim understood, he began the process a vague crying out in the distance told him Jim could feel the pressure in his mind as Spock pushed forward settling the bond and building it string by string to form a thin glittering silver thread that reached out into the distance in both directions.

He began to pull himself out, the emotions in Jim's calm but cluttered mind remaining with him as he released his psi points and let go of the deep breath he had been holding, it slowly exhaling through his mouth.

Spock opened his eyes the situation coming back to him and he focused his laser gaze on Jim. The captain was pink in the face, beads of sweat on his brow, eyes screwed shut, breath slow and deep but shaky.

"Captain?"

"It's _Jim_ sweet pea. Remember?"

Spock smiled and felt a ghost of the blonde mans own amusement through the bond. Jim opened his eyes and grinned leaning his forehead on Spocks shoulder "You said pressure! It was like a needle to the brain."

Spock frowned his emotions pouring through his barriers and sliding across the bond making the captain shiver. "Hey hey none of that. I'm not mad idiot, I'm fine. It was just a shock that's all….wow that's weird. I can kind of… you know when you touch me and I can kind of feel what you're feeling, like its right there but I can't ….that's so cool its like seeing your mind out of the corner of my eye while I'm in a car going really fast and you're in a alleyway….. D'you know what I mean?"

Spock raised an eyebrow and Jim blushed.

"Oh yeah…of course you do. If this is a juvenile bond…I can't wait for the full one."

Spock beamed "Perhaps you should attempt to block me from your mind Jim. You may not always want me to know your emotions."

The captain grinned and screwed his eyes shut, after several seconds the warm trickle Spock had been feeling stopped and he felt sadness pour through his barriers at the loss, careful to keep that from entering Jims mind from his.

"Impressive."

"Why thank you."

The captain laughed leaning up to press a not too innocent kiss to Spock, his tongue darting out, the flow returning with a fiery stab of lust and the commander moaned, his hands moving of their own accord pulling Jim closer.

There was a abrupt heavy knock on the bathroom door and they pulled apart irritation flickering in Jims mind and Spock knew he felt his agreement. The door swung open and Bones wobbled out hands over his eyes.

"Right, get a foot away from each other right now or I _will_ throw up on you."

Jim squeezed his eyes shut closing the bond and stood hands on hips. "It's okay Bones."

The doctor removed his hand and glanced between the pair his frown deepening, eyes flickering between the couple. "Okay…what's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well for one Spock looks like the cat that got the cream and you look like you just….oh god."

He put a hand over his mouth turning a sickly green colour.

"It's nothing Bones we didn't… do that. It's cool, okay?"

The doctor removed his hands leaning on his knees and Jim patted him sympathetically on the back waggling his eyebrows at his lover. After taking a few deep breaths the older man stood and turned to his friend. Jims grin faded and he held up his hands to show defeat.

"Bones…I'm so sorry I just, what you were about to call him was…"

"I know. Off limits. I was drunk I didn't know what I was saying."

"No hard feelings?"

"None."

"Great… how do you feel about breakfast?"

It took an hour to get the doctor to eat something and even when they did he decided to go back to his medbay and find something to settle his stomach, leaving the couple alone again.

They had talked for a while before father Jack had appeared behind the bar watching them with an odd expression on his face.

"You boys ever play chess?" He was grinning and brandishing a obviously antique wooden chess set.

Jim laughed "I wouldn't mind learning."

Spock glanced at Jim and then to the father "May I?"

He explained each piece and the basic rules, the captain stropping him when he began a short history lesson into the chess board's origins and the reason behind the different pieces.

Three games later and Spock was winning two games to one, the captain was learning quickly his moves illogical, seemingly random and infuriatingly tactically perfect.

"Jim, hey Jim!"

McCoy came running into the bar; skidding to a halt next to the game he paused glancing down at the board, after a short breath he rolled his eyes using Spocks knight to checkmate Jim.

"Right now you are free you are coming with me to see the new prototypes for the hover bikes!"

Jims mouth opened and he stared wordlessly at his friend eyes wide "What!"

"New. Hover bikes. Prototype. _New_ _hover bikes_."

Jim shut his mouth, closing his eyes and turning in his seat whilst Bones attempted to catch his breath.

"I met an engineer on the way back from the ship and he said they are testing the new models here on the base and since I was so nice to him back at the academy he could get us in….maybe even get us a _ride_….that is, if the space fairy will let you come?"

Jim opened his eyes sending his excitement and hope through the weak bond and Spock grinned inwardly careful to block his emotions so he could act as thought he were thinking it over.

He glanced between the two friends surprised to see they were actually waiting on bated breath and smiled slightly. "I am not adverse to your plans."

Jim beamed and jumped from his seat leaping across to grasp either side of Spocks head and kissing him furiously, his tongue sweeping over his teeth. A soft bite to his bottom lip and he was away running after bones, out of the bar.

"I love you babe, you're the best."

He watched the captains leave, his excitement still flowing through the bond. Spock smiled sending his love back before closing the flow so Jim could enjoy his trip without his own emotions weighing in his mind.

Turning back he jumped inwardly. The father was in Jim's seat, the board already set up.

"Mind if I give it a go?"

By midday Spock had beaten the father fourteen times. A crowd had gathered and he was beginning to feel crowded, anxious and to his horror the father noticed.

"You know what, I give up. You are the new chess master."

He stood wandering through the crowd, it parting like the red sea as he made his way over to a blackboard in the corner, scrubbing his own name out and writing Spock in sprawling italics under the title chess master.

The vulcan stood, hands behind his back and nodded quickly pushing through the crowd their thoughts and emotions crushing him. Sighing in relief he stepped out into the much more comfortable burning heat outside, the dusty dry air comfortable and familiar in his lungs.

He relished the cool calm of his mind as he walked, no distractions no crowds. He sighed, his fingers itched for work and he quickly changed his stride now more purposeful more direct.

His light footing taking him clear across the base, over a familiar bridge and deep into the gardens the blistering heat surrounding him sending the fumes from the flowers and imprinting them in his clothes, his hair.

The air here was moist and tasted of clear water and fibrous plants. His sensitive ears picked up voices in the distance and he quickened his pace breaking into a clearing where a small group of scientists were hurrying around, collecting samples entering data into computers under the shade of a small roof supported by four thin metallic poles.

They were sweating heavily in a pale powder blue uniform, a jumpsuit that many wore rolled to the knee and the elbow, dark sunglasses and soft canvas shoes.

He could smell them now, a salty tang that wafted through the buzzing air and attacked his sense. He moved silently to the centre of the activity several scientists stopping their work and watching him approach, some began to move back towards him others gathered in pairs or threes a quiet murmur eyes focussed solely on him.

Spock stopped hands behind his back and tilted his head.

"Professor."

The dark haired man spun on the spot and blushed furiously as he realised who had greeted him.

"Oh... Mr. Spock it is great to see you. Can I help you with something?"

"May I be of assistance to you? I find my time is… disturbingly abundant."

"You want to…to help?"

"Affirmative."

"I would be honoured…unless… _why_?"

"You enquire as to my motives?"

"Yes."

"A wise move. I ask so you may then owe me a favour. I believe it is correct that in circumstances where one party completes a favourable act for the other they are then owed a favourable act in return."

Mark was silent for a long time thinking over Spocks words. "What would you want in return?"

"It will be of equal value."

"Like…"

Spock said nothing and Mark glanced to his left and a slightly shorter bald scientist who glanced at Spock and back to the professor.

"Don't be an idiot. To have his name on the research paper would..."

"Yeah but what does he want from me?"

"Does it matter!"

Mark turned back "Would you right a foreword?"

"To your report? If you wish it."

Mark beamed at him.

"Great…um Harris show Mr. Spock around won't you?"

Three hours later and Spock was enjoying himself, the heat had loosed it grip and the scientists pace had picked up, sampling and analysing every plant every blade of grass was a big job. Hours of clear minded rules, guide lines and scientific process that felt like home.

It was fascinating.

He was in the process of taking a cutting from a particularly large and spiky bush, long thin needle shaped laves tracing faint green lines in his skin and suddenly Spocks mind was invaded by a stab of pain that shocked him making him stand suddenly blinking furiously as he tried to clear his mind.

Polaris stood looking at him oddly "Sir…are you alright?"

Spock turned to the young man and straightened his back "Yes. If you will excuse me."

He handed the cutting over and turned without a word striding to a shadier more private area. His hand shook slightly and he took a deep breath pulling his communicator out of his pocket.

"Spock to Jim. Is everything alright?"

To his surprise doctor McCoy answered his voice breathy "Dammit Spock you really pick a time to call. He is fine. I'm taking him to the ship. Don't panic its nothing I can't handle."

Spock frowned "May is peak to him?"

"I have to go"

McCoy hung up on him and Spock was left the communicator still to his ear the pain slowly lessening replaced by fear, a ghost of shame and embarrassment. After a few moments he quickly slipped the communicator back into his pocket and strode over to the central area.

"Professor I must take my leave."

Mark turned around blushing and Spock noticed that Nyota was stood behind him her hand in his.

"Nyota."

"Hey Spock."

"So…"

"If you will send me your report I will add my foreword. You may contact me via my quarters on the enterprise."

Nyota kissed Mark quickly and let his hand go. "I'll come with, I need to talk to you about something. I'll see you later Mark."

He grinned waving a hand as the lieutenant grabbed Spocks arm and began to drag him away glancing behind her until the scientist's were out of sight. She stopped spinning around and punching him on the arm.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Spock frowned "I do not know what you are referring to?"

"Well I turned up to see Mark and he was all over excited about getting some big shot important scientist to write the foreword to his paper and how impressed everyone will be. Imagine my surprise when he told me it was the amazing Mr. Spock, apparently a celebrity in scientific circles."

Spock smiled looking away allowing his pride to flood his mind. "I believed my status amongst my peers was known to you. My apologies."

"He also mentioned you wanted a favour from him?"

"It is nothing to concern yourself with. It's a personal matter."

She glared at him "Then why not tell me."

"It is private between me and Jim."

She rolled her eyes and they walked in silence for a while Spock instinctively stopping outside of her hotel. She smiled patting him on the arm about to leave when he remembered the doctor's statement.

"Nyota I wish you to be my…maid of honour."

It was a phrase often used by the bride and he knew this, but Nyota was not a male therefore couldn't be the best man. She stopped turning slowly on her heel her eyes wide with shock.

"What!"

He paused unsure, his mind clouded. He had not considered that she may refuse and leave him without an option. As Jim had pointed out he did not have a great many close friends and Nyota was his only available option.

Spock blushed lightly and Uhura walked back to him. "Did you just ask me to be your maid of honour?"

Spock nodded and she patted him on the chest staring into the distance. "Don't you think it's a bit strange to have your ex play such a important role in your wedding?"

Spock couldn't look at her "Perhaps if you viewed it as asking my closest friend to play a role in my wedding you would reconsider."

She looked up at him her eyes softening a hand reaching up to cup his cheek "You know what…Yes. Of course I will do it."

She smiled up at him and Spock smiled down at her slightly taken aback by the force of her smile. "Thank you."

She sighed "oh Spock just…just."

She kissed him on the cheek and nodded walking away. His mind whirred back to that morning and he frowned.

"Nyota!"

She paused in the doorway "Yes Spock?"

He licked his lips walking over to her "What is private between Jim and I… It is something only doctor McCoy is party to and as such you should be party to as well."

She raised an eyebrow "Right…"

"Jim and I will bond."

Her mouth dropped open and she laughed jumping up to hug him tightly "Oh congratulations!"

Spock blinked putting his hands on her back as she hugged him. "Thank you for telling me Spock. I know how personal these things are."

He pulled back smiling slightly and she beamed up at him "He must really be special if you're risking that… I heard it's pretty dangerous for non-vulcans."

He nodded "Jim is aware of the risks."

She laughed again her eyes taking a strange light. "And I suppose he thinks any risk is worth it. Worth you."

Spock blushed and she released, him a sunny smile and wave of the hand. "Goodbye Spock tell the captains congratulations from me."

He nodded and waited for the door to close behind her before turning and making his way to the transport pads, breaking into a run as soon as he left the few people on the streets behind.

"Spock to transporter room Mr. Scott, are you there?"

"Aye I'm 'ere laddy."

Spock sighed clearing his mind of his affection for Nyota, his worry for Jim.

"Energize."

As soon as his feet hit the solid ground he broke into a swift walk barely a nod of acknowledgement as he went through the doors and found his way to medbay. He paused in the doorway glancing around and spotting the doctor hunched over a biobed.

Spock sighed and strode over, hands behind his back, posture perfect, eyes trained on Jims sprawling figure. He had angry red grazes on the side of his face, a black eye and was staring at Spock his eyes half lidded a hazy smile on his face.

"Hey there sexy Spocky."

Bones growled and pushed him heavily on the chest so he lay back down. "He is obviously on pain meds. Fell off the bike going 110mph broke every bone in his left arm, his thigh bone, four ribs, a cheekbone and got himself a hairline fracture to his skull. You're lucky I got the new bone regenerator yesterday."

Spock took a deep breath "I see. Thank you doctor McCoy."

He shook his head and walked away "Keep an eye on him."

Spock gave no indication he heard him instead concentrating on the captains only too pleased face. "Jim your desperate desire to kill yourself is rather disconcerting."

"I wasn't! I was just….I'm clumsy okay?" he was indignant arms crossed full no pout and sad eyes. Spock sighed looking him over noticing he was naked from the waist up, his trousers torn on the knee.

"Do you have a shirt?"

Jims mouth went slack and he looked down at his feet smiling as he wriggled his toes. Spock sighed again; he was in no state to answer any questions.

"Excuse me."

He walked away quickly finding a passing medic "May I borrow your outer uniform top?"

The young officer blinked at him blushing slightly. Perhaps he required more specification.

"The captains own shirt has been waylaid and he cannot return to our lodgings unclothed."

The officer laughed blinking at the commander for a second in embarrassment. "He does that a lot."

Spock dipped his head in agreement and the man smiled pulling his scrub top over his head leaving him stood in a blue undershirt. "Thank you. This will be noted in your next evaluation."

"Thank you sir."

Spock turned and walked back to the captain who was now moving his hand back and forth in front of his face giggling. "Jim?"

He turned and practically threw himself off the bed jumping into Spocks arms hands grabbing loosely at his waistband. "Hey there."

"Captain maybe you should put this on?"

"Do you think it'd look sexy on me?"

He now had his arms wrapped around Spocks neck and was whispering into the skin behind his ear. Spock shivered holding him loosely reminding himself that Jim was not himself. He licked his lips whispering hoarsely.

"Yes."

Jim chuckled and let him go pulling the scrub top over his bare chest and smoothing it down. He giggled and gave a spin hand on hip, the other on the back of his head.

"Tada."

Spock blinked, even now battered and bruised, intoxicated, Jim was…stunning.

"Beautiful."

Jim beamed and wobbled up to him leaning heavily on his arm as he attempted to hold hands with his lover. Spock sighed bracing Jim against his side as he began the slow drag back to the pub.

He was greeted at the door by father Jack who wordlessly placed a arm around the captain and bodily carried him away from Spock and up the stairs stating that the vulcan should 'sit down and take a breath'.

He took the time instead to use the computer nearby to make a call his stiff abrupt tone useful in his attempts to organise a meeting. The father returning as he shut the console down.

"He fell asleep halfway up the stairs. Told me he is sorry about ruining sexy Spocky's sexy black top."

Spock blushed slightly and stood "I take it you know what he is referring to?"

"Your assumption is correct."

The father nodded sagely and went behind the bar, cleaning glasses. It was then Spock realised that the bar wads empty.

"To use the colloquial term, you appear to be having a slow night."

The father laughed his voice booming and echoing around the small room. "Miners and tradesmen moved out this morning. I heard there is a war ship returning from battle tomorrow so it won't be quiet again for a while."

Spock nodded his eyes landing on the chess board "Then you have time to play?"

The father followed his line of sight and grinned "Sure."

Spock was winning five games to three when Jack reluctantly went to bed leaving him alone in the dusty cool bar. He decided he could meditate here for a while and cleared a small area on the floor to do so. When he came round it was early in the morning, so early in fact that the suns hadn't risen.

He felt calmer, his mind clear and ordered. Smiling he made his way to there room forcing himself not to look at the captain on his way to the bathroom for a shower.

As he towelled himself off afterwards he considered what Jim's reaction would be. He was sure he had done the right thing, but human emotions were extremely complicated and he may have interpreted them wrong.

He entered the bedroom wincing in shock as he was hit by the thundering noise of McCoys snoring. He glared at the lump but he did not relent so instead he placed his hands over his ears and walked over to where, miraculously, Jim was still sleeping.

He leant over the bed and pressed a feather light kiss to the captains lips almost jumping in shock when his tongue reached out and licked along his bottom lip, the captains bright blue eyes opening slowly as he smiled up at Spock.

He blinked for a second glancing over to the doctor and back to Spock, a wicked grin spreading across his face. He rolled his eyes sitting up suddenly and swinging off the bed, holding a finger up to silence the confused vulcan.

He crept slowly across the room until he was hovering just over the doctor's prone form and placed a hand over his mouth, two fingers closing his nasal airways.

Spock could feel his confusion growing, what was Jim attempting to do?

The doctors snoring stopped and he spluttered waking up and smacking the captains' hands away "God dammit Jim if I'm snoring just roll me over. Stop trying to kill me you bloody maniac."

The captains laughed grinning at Spock who fought to keep his own amusement of his face instead sending it through the weak bond. Jim beamed at him and backed away from the doctor.

"Sorry Bones but your admittedly impressive snoring was hurting Spock ears. And I love Spock's ears."

Bones grumbled turning over in his sheets "God dammit I'm glad we go back to the ship tomorrow. The less I hear about Spocks bloody ears the better."

Jim laughed deeply and wriggled his eyebrows at the vulcan titling his head to indicate he should follow him out of the room. They walked downstairs in silence not unsurprised by two plates of steaming hot food left on the bar top for them, two stools with hologram reserved signs hovering over them.

Jim grinned flicking a switch to turn them off and biting into his bacon sandwich a blissful expression filling his face as he chewed. Spock smiled the corners of his mouth twitching as he too bit into his whole-wheat toast.

Father Jack joined them a few minutes later leaning on the bar and fixing the captain with a calculated stare.

"Hey Jack. How're things?"

"Good captain, things are good."

Jim nodded and blinked when the father didn't look away "Got a message… the nunnery will be expecting you at twelve."

He gave a short smile and nodded to Spock who was watching Jim carefully, ghosts of confusion sliding into his mind.

"Jim whilst you were…indisposed I took the liberty of contacting the nunnery in a effort to set up a meeting with your mother. You expressed a wish to talk to her and I thought-"

Jim held up a hand to silence him and smiled love and gratitude slipping into Spocks mind. "Thank you sweet pea…I don't think I would've taken the first step without you."

Spock smiled and Jim glanced around before pressing his two fingers gently to the back of the vulcans palm. Spock could feel Jim's anxiety as they approached the flat grey building, dull greying trees and shrubs surrounded them as they walked a solid path towards the square door ahead.

Jims hand reached out grasping Spocks wrist and he glanced up at him looking for something in his eyes. The commander blankly stared back but miraculously the captain seemed to find what he was looking for, his shoulders straightening out, chin up high, some of his usual swagger returning.

"Right lets do this."

He let go of Spock striding towards the door his finger hovering only for a second before he pressed the buzzer. Spock reached him just as the door opened and they were silently led inside.

The walls were beige and empty apart from a single wooden cross nailed over the entrance, the floor well polished and they walked single file down a long straight corridor footsteps echoing around them, many doorways leading to numerous rooms and smaller corridors that wound off into the distance.

Spock glanced as he past at nuns praying, cooking, cleaning and in one room, playing with some sort of holographic tennis game. They reached a large staircase and the squat woman who had led them this far looked up at Spock smiling, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Sister Kirk is upstairs in her room. Two floors up, third on the left. I hope you enjoy your visit."

Spock ducked his head and Jim smiled at the woman if a little warily and she turned to him fixing him with a calculating stare.

"I sense you haven't had good experiences with nuns in the past…"

Jim blushed "Uh…they don't tend to agree with me…no offense."

She grinned at him her wide open face split by a toothy grin "Well you will find that the nuns here are much more…welcoming."

Suddenly she reached out pulling the captain into a bone crushing hug and he turned puce, eyes wide. She released him "There…already on the way now aren't you."

Spock tensed fearing he would be next but she seemed to notice this and chuckled patting him on the arm "Don't worry, I know all about vulcans. Have a good time now and don't forget to come say goodbye to Sister George before you go."

She waved a hand and disappeared at an impressive speed into the nearest doorway and down the corridor. Jim turned to Spock still blinking in shock.

"Well…she was different."

"She was certainly that Jim."

Together they walked up the stairs the captains shoulder tensing every so slightly when they reached the correct level and he took a deep breath reaching out to pull Spock closer as they made their approach.

He knocked three times and put his hand around the vulcans waist for a second his hands reaching around to where Spock had habitably placed his own hands, fingers laced behind his back.

Jim's fingers found his only briefly before the door opened and he pulled away.

"James."

It was not a greeting nor really a statement of surprise, more a statement that he was present. She moved away stepping into a clinically neat room, hands at her sides, predator eyes on Spock. Jim placed his hands at the base of his lover's spine and together they crossed the threshold.

"How are you settling in?"

She looked at him sniffing haughtily. "The sisters have been respectful."

"Good, good…that's good."

"I believed you would have left by now."

"Oh no we had some shore leave so…."

There was an awkward silence and Jim coughed weakly hand rubbing the back of his neck. His mother just stared blankly at Spock, after a minute he sighed inwardly and stepped forwards.

"Jim and I have come to inform you of something."

It was more for the captains benefit than his mothers and Spock could feel his panic through the bond making him frown inwardly. He licked his lips sending his love, trust and confidence back to him.

For a second Jim just stared into the distance his shoulders sagging slightly and his plump lips quirked at the edge, a light blush on his cheeks. The sun was shining through the circular window illuminating his glowing eyes and Spock took a quick step closer to him. He could feel something through the bond that he couldn't place, it was too faint and he felt longing, desire for more.

His skin was cool as the vulcans fingers slipped gently down the bare skin of his wrist, wrapping in a tight circle. "I love you t'hy'la."

Jims mind shimmered next to his and he heard its faint chuckle in answer "I love you Spock." He could feel it now, a strong pulse of heat like a trickle of boiling water that ran up his arm and filled his mind. It was the captains confidence, his shining charisma.

Spock smiled and Jim glanced up at him and then to his mother.

"Spock asked me to marry him. I said yes."

At first it was as if she were unaffected, her eyes slowly looking Spock up and down, gaze lingering on their hands joined at the wrist. Then she turned sharply, pulling the wooden chair from under the desk and perching elegantly on the edge now glaring at herself in the mirror.

Jim blinked and stepped forwards, releasing the vulcan "It _is_ going to happen… You can't stop us."

She frowned glancing at him in the mirror and then to the cross on the wall behind him. "The father has explained to me his theories and the modern interpretation of the bible concerning…concerning you."

The captain raised both his eyebrows but didn't move and Spock continued to press love through the bond, barely daring to allow Jims emotions to reach him, they were private.

"Oh. Did you learn anything?"

His voice was sharp unfamiliar and his hands were now clenched by his sides, every muscle in his back and shoulders tense. She licked her lips blinking at her reflection.

"James… I cannot give this relationship my blessing, I cannot agree with your choice but I…I accept that it is your choice and as my son I should …._respect_…. this relationship regardless of my personal beliefs."

"Wait…you don't believe in it, you don't like it, but you _accept_ it?"

She turned and looked up at him her face emotionless. Spock blinked; it appeared Jims mother would fit in well on vulcan. Jim was staring at her, his mouth open and she stood, chin high, lips pressed tightly together, hands clasped elegantly in front of her.

"Yes."

Jims shoulders sagged and he looked to his commander for support. Spock stepped forwards "Father Jack has explained to you that Jim's sexual orientation is **not** a choice, it is as biologically tied to him as his hair colour. I cannot not ask you to be pleased with his orientation or indeed our relationship. However for you to accept this shows that you are capable of growth and because of that, we would like to extend an invitation to the ceremony."

She crossed her arms and looked to Jim and he narrowed his eyes crossing his arms. "He wants you to come to our wedding and so do I but… but only if you _want_ to be there. It's the happiest day of my life and I don't want you there if you're just going to ruin it."

Spock walked up beside him and wrapped a hand around his waist smiling slightly when he leant backwards, his weight reassuring in Spocks arms, hands brushing against his thigh.

His mother sighed and let her arms fall to her side her gaze suddenly fixing on a picture frame on the unit beside her bed. It was a younger Winona Kirk, her arm around the waist of a handsome man his easy smile so full of life.

Jim stared too his posture crumpling into the vulcans grasp and Spock looked away, hand tightening on his waist as grief slid across the fragile link. Another quieter sigh and she turned back her eyes now sad, distant.

"I shall consult the lord. May he give me the strength to…to change."

Jim actually dropped a few centimetres his knees buckling and the commander gripped him tightly, supporting him.

"I hope you will."

She then did something Spock did not expect.

She smiled.


	22. Chapter 22

_A/N: Okay this one is basically porn, schmoop and more porn. First time writing this stuff so concrit is welcome. I promise there will be plot in the next one! R&R._

They walked in silence, the late evening air whipping their clothes against them and Spock glanced up at the sky his eyebrows flying to his hairline when he noticed a large purple cloud on the horizon, its swirling shifting form covering half the base already and he took a step closer to the captain.

Jim's hand reached out suddenly and his pinkie and ring finger wound around Spocks sending a light buzz reverberating up his arm, the link frustratingly quiet and to his surprise the vulcan was also locked out of Jims mind, his touch telepathy blocked by a weak barrier he dared not break

Complete mental silence.

The vulcan glanced up at his lover's eyes frowning as concern flooded his mind. They were wide empty, his gaze far in the distance. The normally rounded cheerful lines of his face were hard, his shoulders tensed against the now battering winds, and the commander's only relief in the form of a small fragile smile that played on the familiar plump soft lips.

There was a thundering roar from the heavens and suddenly large fats spots of purple splattered around them, smattering cold targets on his arms and face. Spock frowned and the purple spread that dribbled down his hair and dripped off his nose seemed to knock the captain out of his reverie making him blink up at the sky and halting his steps. Jim stared open mouth for a second before snapping his teeth shut and holding his hand out to catch the drops.

"This is incredible."

His voice was raised above the roar of the heavy fall and the vulcan was pulled closer to the captain by their linked fingers an arm coming around to clasp him, his warm affection sliding down the bond in gratitude. The air was heavy with the scent of the dust thrown from the ground by the force of the rain, the streets dappled with violet splats. It was beautiful, he had only read of the purple rain storms and daren't imagine they would witness one.

The couple stood in silence for quite a while as the rains force lessened and the sound softened to a quiet pattering, heavy drops now a dense mist.

"Come on… its actually pretty cold out here."

Jim shivered rubbing his hands up and down his arms, blinking at his stained clothes and up at Spocks unimpressed eyebrow. He sighed tilting his head studying the taller man.

"Not a fan of rain?"

Spock merely shook his head, his joints stiff clothes heavy and clinging to him, yes the storm was beautiful and an interesting scientific phenomenon but Vulcan was a desert planet and he missed it.

A warm hand on his arm and he was led silently through the streets and into a café, plain beige walls and wooden furniture reminding Spock of his lodgings of his childhood. Simple clean and strangely comforting.

He was pushed into a booth, the captain's knees bumping against his as he slid in across from him. A deft hand reached out and plucked the card menu from his holder, Jim mumbling as he read, pouting and pursing his lips in consideration.

Spock watched him, his bizarre zoning out earlier still heavy in the vulcans mind. Jim's eyebrows were pressed together almost too forcefully and he appeared to be reading and re-reading items over and over as though he couldn't quite get the information to stick.

The commander sighed and reached out a hand taking the menu from the captain and gesturing for a waitress to attend them. She smiled widely at the couple her shining blonde hair tied in pigtails.

"What can I get you?"

"Two teas please madam."

"Is that a pot or two cups?"

Spock glanced at the captain who was now facing out of the window, the thousand mile stare back in his eyes.

"A pot thank you."

She grinned at him nodding and striding away, her loud tinkling voice seemingly bursting out of her tiny frame. He watched her disappear behind the kitchen doors before turning back to his lover tilting his head; Jim was still staring out of the window at the bruised sky and the violet torrent that had thankfully picked up _after_ they had entered the cafe.

"T'hy'la, I am curious as to your emotional state following the meeting with your mother; however I do not wish to press."

His mouth formed a thin white line and he let a short huff of breath out of his nose before turning back to the table, hands clasped in front of him on the table top.

"I … not yet love. It's just too much to process right now."

Spock nodded and pressed his leg up against Jims, sending love through the bond an unsure smile spreading on his lips. They both glanced back out to the rain a tiny almost unperceivable curve to the captain's lips, the tight lines around his eyes softening as a large blue pot appeared on the table in front of them, two mismatched mugs and a silver jug of milk.

The vulcan watched Jim through his eyelashes as he played with his own fingers, licking his lips and felt relieved that he had lifted his captain's mood somewhat. He poured him a cup pressing it lightly into the other mans hands, watching his long spidery fingers wrap around the warm container, flexing and soothing over the porcelain.

Spock licked his lips, his mind wandering with images of those fingers, those strong hands. A moment later he had poured himself a cup hoping to distract his mind from the closeness of Jim's knees, the way his damp hair was drying sticking up and fluffy, his almost obscene pleasure as he sipped the drink, his wide beguiling eyes as he stared confused at Spock.

"Hey you in there?"

He blinked shutting the thoughts out and breaking the intense gaze, it was shameful to be lusting after the captain when he was clearly emotionally compromised. Spock almost groaned as that thought caused him to remember the feel of Jim's skin beneath his hand, the thick stuttering pulse. He had been so…so angry at the time he only recalled the feel, the smell, the taste of the blonde's breath months after that day on the bridge.

Jim nudged his hand concern written all over his face and practically pouring down the bond. He seemed much more like his usual self, the soft curve of his lips now more evident, shoulders relaxed but still a slight flash of light in those eyes that betrayed him.

"Spoooock. Come on, come back. I want to ask you something."

Spock licked his lips and blushed lightly, his embarrassment flowing down the bond before he could halt its progress. He had obviously been staring for quite a while.

"My apologies Jim."

"It's alright. I was just thinking about the wedding. I know you just wanted the crew to be there and your dad hopefully and maybe…. Well anyway, I was thinking. I want to invite Pike."

Spock raised an eyebrow "You may invite whomever you wish."

"You think it's a good idea?"

"You have reservations?"

"Well… I mean I do talk to him but he isn't… we aren't best buddies are we? And he is probably pretty busy all the time being an admiral and all that, it's just…"

Spock said nothing placing his hand on the table top next to his lovers.

"He is the reason I have all this. Before he turned up I would wake up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror and be disgusted. I was alone, self destructive, _useless_. But then, then he turned up at that bar and now I have Bones, I have the crew, I have the enterprise and most importantly I have **you**. He is the reason I have every single good thing in my life."

Spock stared at him silently, his quick eyes taking in every line, every twitch of the captains lips. "The admiral certainly holds you in high regards and as his first officer I believe he held some form of respect for me. I am sure he will be pleased to receive an invitation"

The shorter man gifted him with his first genuine toothy smile since the meeting with his mother and Spock smiled back jumping when a cool hand gently touched his knee beneath the table, fingers massaging a circle for a second before disappearing, the vulcan biting back on a disappointed moan. His lust rose again and he battled with it, a sea green flush dusting his cheekbones, eyes undoubtedly dark almost black as he warred with the hot sliver of arousal at the base of his spine.

It took them 45 minutes to finish the pot, mostly due to Spock's intense concentration on getting the correct tea to milk ratio, something that thankfully took his mind off the captain's plump pink lips and the excruciatingly torturous albeit familiar licking of said lips. He fought to keep his eyes from following the sweeping glistening swipe of _that_ tongue over _those_ lips and Spock did something no vulcan ever did, he squirmed.

Letting a quick huff from his throat he stood abruptly and reached out grasping Jims arm and pulling him from the booth leaving their exact change on top of the table as he dragged the confused captain from the café, striding through the storm without care. He stopped at the nearest intersection releasing the captain and turning away, his chest heaving eyes screwed shut. He had lost control.

After a few minutes he felt a presence at his shoulder, Jim did not touch him didn't say anything he simply walked in a half circle to make eye contact as the vulcan blinked at him his focus only temporarily repaired. The rain was suddenly overpowering, the cold numbing his skin and seeping to his bones stinging his eyes as he blinked furiously taking in the captains clothes dripping with violet rivulets, his hair plastered to his (admittedly attractive) skull and he was smiling wiping a hand over his forehead and reaching out slowly, so slowly to touch Spocks cheek.

After a second he felt Jims mind press against his and he heard his voice echo across the strained peace of his mind. "Hey, what happened in there?"

Spock did not reply, instead he let a single hot jet of his lust shoot across the bond and he watched with interest as Jims pupils expanded, his bottom lip pouting slightly and that devilish tongue slipped out and licked a slow tempting line.

He was scarcely aware of his mind telling him he couldn't take anymore before he growled and made the short step towards the captain's hands possessive and sliding up into his hair, hot unyielding mouth meeting his and he swallowed the captains answering moan, his skin even colder than usual beneath the vulcans sensitive fingertips, slippery and silky.

Jim's own hands moved sluggishly, clumsy from his side and tugged at the soaked fabric of Spocks black tee stretching the fabric and leaving indentations of his grasp as he fought to touch the burning heat of his alien skin.

Suddenly a loud bang as a nearby window was closed broke them apart and the captains kept his hands clasped tightly on the narrow hips of his lover, foreheads leant together as Jim panted into the close embrace.

"We have…"

He glanced down to his wrist as if looking for something before glancing back up to the vulcan his teeth catching his swollen lip.

Distracting.

"21 hours."

"Right… what do you say to going back to bed and staying there?"

Spock decided instantly, sealing his agreement with a slow heated kiss.

The pub was almost busting at the seams, damp and steaming aliens crowded in groups, the sharp sting of sweat, the residual bitter tang of the thrown up dust encasing the vulcan, sticking to his skin and invading his brain.

Eyes, eyes followed them as Jim acted as a shield against so many downtrodden, disillusioned minds and harsh glares, curious stares; lusting glances stripped the couple as they made their way to the heavy wooden door, Jim's hand a forgiving anchor on Spock's wrist as the two men battled their way through.

The staircase was also crowded and Spock winced as he was forced to wind and press his way past various strange alien species, damp clothing clinging to his arms and face. He fought back a shudder as they pushed upwards and finally, blissfully, reached their floor striding down a less crowded corridor and to the door Jim thrusting it up and forcing the vulcan in ahead of him.

He stumbled backwards a little, quickly finding his natural balance and halting almost dead centre in the room. Jim leant heavily on the door as it closed with a loud bang the noise ringing out for several seconds in the quiet room.

He could hear Jim's heartbeat from here, a comforting familiar beat that quickened the longer he stared and Spock blinked down at his own spidery frame frowning at his sopping wet clothes, stained by the purple showers and clinging to his arms and stomach.

He frowned and forgetting what had led him here he began to drag the stretching fabric up and over his head, eyes on his own hands as he threw the black tee directly into the laundry receptacle. He placed his swift finger on his belt buckle pausing and looking up surprised when he heard a low rumble from the door. Jims was panting his eyes dark beneath his eyelashes, lips curled around pointed white teeth in a snarl hands clenched behind him on the wooden frame.

"Jim?"

Barely above a whisper but I was enough to send the captain hurtling from his position and into Spock, his superior strength the only factor keeping them upright, desperate hands scratched down his chest fingers curling in the trail of hair below his navel, lips nipping and sucking at the base of his neck and the vulcan didn't resist as his body shuddered beneath Jims touch.

He reached out nails catching on the thin cotton of Jims tee as he yanked it over his over his head revealing pink smooth skin, the dusty bitter tang replaced by a silky soothing cloud of something so very Jim that a throb of arousal plummeted through Spock.

He moaned and grasped him tightly, hands ungainly fumbling as he fought with the zipper on Jims pants pushing the still damp fabric down those narrow hips and the lips that had been paying so much attention to his collarbone suddenly made a swift move downwards licking a soft stomach flipping trail down down down.

Sure hands worked at his buckle releasing him roughly, dragging the stiff fabric of his pants down inch by inch, that devilish tongue laving his hipbones, hands smoothing over his thighs.

When they were both free of their pants Spock grasped the captain by the hair and tugged lightly bringing him to his feet, hands grasping his waist as they walked in tandem crashing onto the bed, Jim groaned at the sudden friction, his strong legs anchoring themselves around Spock, hands tangled and twisted in shiny black hair as their tongues battled for dominance.

He arched his back and thrust his hips experimentally closing his eyes with a growl at the results, it was then said hips began to move of their own accord thrusting and rolling as desperate hands scratched across his skull, pleasure flying across the bond, washing over him and bouncing back to Jim.

He gasped upwards into Jims mouth his eyes flying open as the pressure built up inside him, and he panted unable to control his movements his eyes locking onto to two burning blue beacons. His hand reached upwards and shook as it tried to attach to the psi points but a rough palm suddenly grasped him, a smug quirk to those lips and the world was spinning away from him, the vulcan only scarcely aware of his own voice shouting out and the hard plains of muscle above him tensing and shuddering, a low growl into his ear.

"Spock."

The captain collapsed on his chest with a soft puff of air and he simply laid there, a dead weight. Spock ran his hands down Jims back, a genuine smile spreading across his face, relief washed over him joining the ebbs of his release as they slipped across the bond.

"Well…. That went well."

Jim was mumbling into his chest, lips brushing against his skin and the vulcan chuckled. The captain sighed and he wrapped his arms around Spocks back clutching him tightly, sending trails of pleasure and love tingling through his skin.

"You were correct in your prediction t'hy'la. I did not lose control."

"Well not in _that_ way."

Jim was now facing him smirking, satisfied and smug.

"Evidently not"

The captain laughed and slowly peeled himself from Spock's chest and stomach glancing down at the mess smudged on both their stomachs.

"Hey, you remember I said we should stay in bed? Well I'd like to make a amendment to the rule."

Spock said nothing; he was transfixed by Jims still flushed skin, the red bump in his lip where Spock had bitten him, the easy smile as he spoke. For just a moment he had let his mind relax, his thoughts emotions and impulses flooding over the scraps that remained of his barriers and Jim had survived, nothing had gone wrong. It had seemed impossible and yet here they were.

"I say we should relocate to the bathroom. Thoughts?"

Spock sat up slightly and glanced down at himself. "That seems agreeable."

The shower steamed up the thick panes of glass and Jims smoothed his hands over the vulcans back, rubbing a circular motion downwards with some exquisite alien object. He shuddered and Jim laughed.

"Guess you've never used a loofa before have you?"

Spock shook his head leaning back and stretching his neck so the captain had more room to manoeuvre the loofa. One slow make out session later and they were attempting to dry each other off, the process slowed by Jim as he kept laughing at Spock's hair, fluffy and sticking up everywhere he ruffled it with his fingers and found himself pinned to the wall.

His expression changed abruptly cheeks blushing, eyes wide, hands shaking.

"I would suggest you cease your activities captain."

Jim blinked at him for a moment before a wicked smile spread slowly across his face, eyes dragging up and down Spocks naked form followed by his hands which scratched lightly over the vulcans sharp hipbones and up to his shoulders resting there for a second before gently grasping his arms and smoothing agonisingly slowly over the skin.

Spock hesitated, his vague annoyance now replaced by waves of shivering anticipation. The captain hummed to himself eyes facing the door as his fingertips trailed over the back of the vulcan hands and pushed his arms upwards licking the hairy fingers and pressing their palms together in one quick knee buckling movement.

Spock gasped and stepped backwards pulling Jim by their linked hands towards him, the captains used this moment of weakness to turn them and press the vulcan up against the door, his palms now rubbing in torturously slow gentle circles sending shivers of pure pleasure down Spocks arms and straight to his crotch.

He shuddered throwing his head back, chest heaving with the effort it took to keep himself upright. He bit back on his moans as Jim stepped it up, his fingers massaging the backs of his palms as their hands shifted against each other and took a short step forwards, a breathy chuckle in his ear before a hot slick tongue licked a slow stripe up and over the tip of his ear followed by a soft bite. Spock actually yelped and slipped to the floor.

The captain being yanked down next to him.

"You really like that huh."

Spock couldn't speak he just nodded his head wildly and scrabbled to grasp the captain, to pull him in for a heated kiss. Jim ground down on his hips and shuddered above him as their sweat and still damp bodies slicked together in perfect friction, luckily the vulcans hands were occupied and he leant upwards pressing his foreheads to Jims in an attempt to delve deeper into his mind.

He arched his back as they ground against each other the only sounds their panted gasps and groans and the slick of skin against skin. This time his eyes were open and he was able to watch as Jim eyes grew wide, his mouth dropping open in contorted pleasure as he spurted hot streams across Spocks stomach.

He followed a few moments later, the captain gallantly maintaining his rhythm until Spock hissed out his name and they turned to jelly, the cold tile suddenly very painfully obvious beneath him. After a few minutes of increasingly uncomfortable strain on his back Jim crawled off him and reached out for a discarded towel using it to clean both him and Spock off.

The couple dressed in silence a pair of black boxers for Jim, a pair of long grey pyjama pants for Spock as they cleared up after themselves, a pleased grin on Jim's face, bashful blushes as he wiped the floor and discarded the towels.

As soon as they exited the bathroom the door into the hallway swung open and Bones was glaring at them. He glanced at Spock's blank face, his still slightly fluffy hair and then to the captains crossed arms his smug grin.

"It's exactly what you think."

The doctors face turned almost beetroot and glared at Spock.

"I. Don't. Want. To. Know."

He stomped past the couple and Jim glanced to his lover grinning cheekily as he danced after his friend. "You don't want to know? But Bonesy it's such a beautiful tale, a tale of handsome young captain and his smoking hot conquest. Think of it! Drama! Romance! **Porn**!"

McCoy put his hands over his ear and turned his back on the now giggling man. "Oh I'll tell you a story alright, about a poor suffering doctor who braved his bloody insane friend for years and years before he finally snapped and strangled the idiot."

He took his hands from his ears and began packing a large black duffel bag. "I'm going back to the ship tonight, medbay is going to need a lot of work to get it right again."

Jims face fell "Aww but Bones, we were going to have a night out on the town…"

Spock raised an eyebrow and placed his hands behind his back. Jim glanced at him winking and he stopped a smile before it formed.

"Don't lie to me kid. You were planning on getting me drunk and leaving me somewhere so you and the hobgoblin could come up here and hold hands all night."

Jim opened his mouth to argue when a finger appeared in his face.

"Don't. As far as I'm concerned that is as far as you two will ever go._ Okay_?"

Jim nodded and grinned, the doctor smiling somewhat in return. "Sure. Thanks."

The grumpy man sighed and turned around "You're going to hug me aren't you."

"I don't have to…"

"Christ put a shirt on and I'll think about it."

Jim beamed at him and turned blinking in surprise at the hand outstretched towards him, Spocks fingers clasped around one of his own black tees. Jim took it off him sniffing it slightly and raising an eyebrow at the vulcan as he pulled it over his head.

He turned and opened his arms to the doctor "Well?"

"Alright. Go nuts."

Jim laughed and jumped on him, squeezing the doctor tightly. After a few moments he let go and slapped him on the shoulder. "There, wasn't so bad was it."

"You don't deserve me."

"Probably not."

The doctor nodded his head at the commander and heaved his bag over his shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

Spock licked his lips "My gratitude is yours doctor."

"Yeah yeah."

The door shut behind him and Spock glanced at Jim grinning at the warm affection in his eyes. "I assume the doctor did not realise the implication of holding hands with a vulcan."

Jim laughed "Well if that's all we are allowed to do…"

When he blinked his eyes open the next morning they were once again entwined, bare but for the thin sheets covering them. Jim had finally fallen asleep four hours ago, the days activities had proved most strenuous for the human captain and even Spock himself had needed to rest for a few hours.

The air outside the cover of the blanket was cold, his breath floating in wispy clouds above the bed. Jim sighed and moved against him, legs tangling and untangling as he shifted across the bed.

Spock smiled and closed his eyes, today they would return to the ship, the long days of freedom to reveal his emotions, to cling to his t'hy'la were coming to a close. However, in returning to the ship Spock knew he would experience the emotions he always hid inside himself, the ship was his home, the work his passion and although none of the other crew members knew it, every day he woke aboard was a shining beacon in his life.

His mind was still mulling over his emotions when he felt a gentle press against his forehead, two of Jims fingers slid slowly down his brow following the line of his features as they gently ducked under his chin and down his neck, two fingers joined by his palm as his hand slid down Spocks bare chest and curled around his hip.

Spock blinked his eyes open and stared at his t'hy'la, lifting his own two fingers and copying the captains movement, his hand detouring at the base of Jims neck and slipping across his shoulder and around the back of his arm pulling him closer.

The captain smiled and Spock leant forwards kissing him softly, his tongue dipping into the pliant mouth, hands clenching on his bed warmed skin.

"Good morning to you too."

Spock said nothing pressing light pecks to Jim's cheeks and jaw line.

"Spock… come on we have to get up."

Spock actually growled under his breath and pressed closer to the man desperately searching for the plump addictive lips, the constant buzz of his emotions beneath sensitive fingertips.

He loved the ship, but he loved _this_ more.


	23. Chapter 23

_A/N: Okay so a little change of writing style here. Also Plot! Please review, digital cookies for everyone who does._

**Bones POV.**

I knew something was wrong the minute he burst into my office, mouth in that little white line, shoulders hunched over. He dropped into the other chair without as much as a hello and began rocking backwards on the legs. I've told him a million times he is going to fall and break his neck but he just ignores me. It took him a couple of minutes before he said a single thing, standing up suddenly and putting his serious face on.

"Shore leave. You're coming with me. We are going to find out what's really going on."

I had to agree, I couldn't let him go off on his own, the bloody idiot has little to no self preservation instinct, he would have got himself killed in minutes or in the very least discharged from the fleet.

It was two and a half months since star base 15 and I was just about ready to go commando with some hypo's. It seemed that every corner I turned every quiet room I passed I would walk in on Spock half dressed, Jim at his waist or the two of them snuggled up on a board room table. I knew I'd had enough right around the time I tried to escape to the observation deck only to walk in on them going at it, Spocks face completely impassive as he looked right at me. I hightailed it out of there let me tell you.

Oh of course it was all very professional on the bridge, in fact nothing changed at all and frankly I'm surprised they didn't realise what was going on long before Narcissum. The only difference was that now when Jim insisted on going down with an away party to some ridiculously dangerous settlement, Spock would stand and follow him without a word as usual and they would complete some sort of goodbye ritual in the corridor outside of the transporter room instead of going in together.

Except of course for the time Jim insisted he stay on the bridge and turned to leave without a word. Spock grabbed him by the hand and just looked at him raising one of those stupid eyebrows of his, well that was it wasn't it, they said their goodbyes and kissed right there in front of the bridge, not a lick of emotion on Spocks face when he turned back to the crew.

I'd have given anything to have that back when Starfleet sent us the message. Spock was to go to the new Vulcan colony for some sort of cultural importance ceremony. It was nonnegotiable apparently and this time Jim was the only one in the transporter room when they said goodbye, promising to keep in touch.

Well that was all okay for about a week, sure Jim was a little sullen in private but on the bridge he was regular old Jim flirting with the yeoman, laughing with Sulu and Chekov. But I knew something was up when Spock had been gone for a week and four days, Jim hadn't been eating as well as he usually did, or sleeping that well either judging by the dark circles beginning to appear under his eyes.

I sat down with him at lunch and I watched him push that salad around his plate for almost ten minutes before I asked him what was wrong. He looked up at me with that wounded glint in his eye.

"It's been over a week since I last talked to him Bones. I think…I think they are stopping me getting through on purpose."

He kept looking around and I knew I couldn't let the crew see him like this, clearly worried clearly a bit suspicious. So I brought him to my quarter's poured him brandy and tried to get him to make sense.

"Spock was… the last time we talked he had just arrived, he seemed a little put out and he was trying to hide it. Not only that but as soon as he hit the earth of the colony its been silent on the bond, nothing, not even a glimmer of emotion, all I got was a jolt of shock and then…..nothing. When I tried to ask him about it he wouldn't tell me anything and ended the link without even saying goodbye."

I must admit listening to that I was shocked, even as a doctor aboard the Enterprise you can still be shocked by things. I told him, isn't it a bit unbelievable that something bad is happening on the colony I mean the vulcans have been allies to earth since the beginning, they have no reason to kidnap Spock. He just looked at me all sad and pouty and downed his drink.

So when he burst into my office the day before shore leave I knew straight away what he was planning, I also knew it would be difficult and he'd someone less… brash to help him get there. So I said yes and the next morning I got up got a small bag together and met him at the dock where Jim had insisted I meet him.

He was waiting for me when I got there, eyes searching the bustling space like he was looking for someone; strange thing was when I said hi he simply waved a hand and kept looking.

I was about to ask what the hell was going on when he yelled in my ear waving his hands like an idiot.

"Mark! Over here!"

A man with short black curly hair and an almost too pleased smile ran through the crowds shaking Jims hand and clapping him on the back. Apparently they knew each other.

"Oh Mark, this is Bones. Bones this is the man who is going to get us to the vulcan colony."

I looked at him; he didn't seem like any kind of smuggler or Starfleet official I knew.

"Mark is a scientist; he is in fact in charge of a botany project that is sampling all the plant life at every Starfleet colony._ Every_ colony."

I got it then.

"So how will you be getting us there?"

"The captain will be driving a two man cargo ship to the colony; it contains equipment for my team as well as a few plants from the nursery here to help populate the new complex. They are expecting you in a few days and no questions will be asked, also tell Mr. Spock that his favour has been used up."

"I will"

Jim sounded enthusiastic, excited and I couldn't help smiling, I do love the kid and I was starting to get tired of seeing him downbeat all the time. He gave us a pass and two team id's to get onto the ship and to show the vulcans when we got to the colony and I was starting to feel a bit better about the situation, sure flying to the colony in a two man spaceship holding sensitive and valuable cargo was dangerous, but at least we would have a reasonable excuse to be there and all in all it seemed like a solid plan.

I changed my mind when I saw the thing, a ageing rust bucket, its Starfleet sciences logo almost worn off of its dull grey hull along with a faded name 'Benedict' and more worryingly it was making a strange rattling sound as we approached it floating in the dock.

Jim practically beamed at the hideous lump, running up the gantry and disappearing inside. I swear the way the entire thing shook clear stopped my heart. There was no way I was going anywhere in that death trap. That was until Jim poked his head around the door with the same kicked puppy expression he used when I almost left him at the academy, alone, during Nero's attack on vulcan.

"You don't _have_ to come Bones."

The bastard, he knew I couldn't just leave him go in that tin can without a doctor to clean his wounds when he crashed on some bloody asteroid.

So what could I do? I followed him up that rickety piece of metal into what was the dankest dingiest pilots cabin I've ever had the displeasure of sitting in, the chairs were moulded plastic, the pilot and navigator stations archaic.

Jim was bouncing in his seat a genuine smile on his face and I groaned loud enough for him to hear, but he just ignored me his fingers flying over brightly lit button and the door shut with a screech behind me.

"You do know how to fly this thing right?"

"Yeah it's pretty simple really."

"A bit too simple if you ask me."

"Oh Bones don't be like that, it is perfectly safe."

I just gave him my best glare, if I died now I would drag his soul to hell with me.

It was all okay up until that night when I discovered my bunk was in fact a piece of what appeared to be foam rubber on a fold out shelf. It was uncomfortable possibly contained all manner of parasites and would most likely cause severe lower back pain.

I got at most two hours of sleep which is more than can be said for Jim, his hand seemed glued to that station eyes trained on the stars, a low grumble coming from his lips every half hour or so. I know him he won't sleep if there is a mission at hand, can go for days without a wink before I am forced to hunt him down with an anaesthetic.

I just rolled over, deciding that he could have this one night and if he doesn't even nap the next day my trusty hypo would become his best friend.

We were two days from the colony when he finally broke and collapsed on his way back from checking the cargo. I helped him into his bunk and just gave me a pitiful look mumbling that he missed Spock and he knew something bad would happen.

That's the problem with Jim, sure he doesn't believe in no win scenarios but that doesn't mean he believes every scenario will be a good one.

It was my turn to pilot the hunk of junk we were using and I sat there for a few hours in the silence thinking over the dramatic increase in ridiculous situations I have been involved with since I met Jim on that shuttle craft. He was just a kid, he needed someone to look out for him.

It was true what I told him, he is my little brother to me, sure he can be irritating, obnoxious and down right stupid some times but he always does it to help everybody else, to save everybody else.

Now Spock, that was another thing, he is ten times as irritating tens times as smug but he manages to hide it behind a veil of cool clear logic. But there is something there, he isn't as good at hiding his emotions as he thinks, he will be Mr. nothing can affect me, you're all idiots for feeling things, for the longest time and then suddenly he will do something to cheer up a homesick ensign or would panic and worry when Jim is gone.

No he didn't turn out so bad after all and he does make Jim happy so what right did I have to complain.

He woke up with a snort rolling off his bunk and smacking his face on the floor. I laughed I forgot he used to do that. He got up and stumbled around for a while before pushing me out of the pilot seat, mumbling something about how he wants to be the one driving, I go too slowly apparently and at the rate I was driving the ship we would've got to the colony when Jim was fifty.

Well I'm sorry if I don't want to go zooming through a wide open space with no oxygen in a death-trap that shakes when you try to use the bloody coffee machine. So we rocketed up the speed and the cabin was vibrating so much I could feel my fillings rattling in my head, Jim was having none of it, that determined stare back on his face and he actually growled when I suggested he take a rest after ten straight hours of driving.

As we approached the outpost on the boundaries surrounding the colony he began to bang a weird beat on the console, eyes flickering from the wide expanse outside to the ring on his hand and back. I just sat in my chair and tried not to get annoyed by the infernal drumming; it wasn't fair on him really.

He almost jumped out of his skin when the monitor beeped into life, a black screen slowly fading into the image of a rather stern man even by vulcan standards, his grey tunic making his shoulders appear impossibly square and his posture even more severe. The man blinked at them before speaking in dulcet droning tones.

"Identification is required for access."

Jim tried his best winning smile and lifted the two ID badges to the screen.

"Here you go."

The man blinked and pressed a few buttons off screen. "Science ship Benedict cleared for entry. Proceed to dock three for unloading."

Jim nodded and grinned back at me when the screen went blank, if there was one thing he loved it was getting down to the nitty gritty parts of missions. It was pretty tricky to manoeuvre our way into the dock, and luckily Jim took over most of the procedure involved in dropping off our cargo. I just stood to the side leaning on the ships hull as crowds of almost silent men used hovering sleds to efficiently empty the hold.

I waited of Jim to finish the paperwork and we were cleared for a overnight stay so I locked the ship and we made our way to the visitors centre. It was a small featureless building clearly built more for purpose than with any sort of passion.

Which frankly wasn't surprising at all.

We found our rooms and Jim had scarcely crossed the threshold before he began searching for Spock using the monitor in the corner. There were single bunks and simple square metal wardrobes in each room, a circular window looking out across a desert landscape. Outside the condition controlled atmosphere of the centre it was no doubt blisteringly hot, dry winds blasting the squat building with red sand.

Jim growled banging his hand down on the table and I leant over his shoulder. He couldn't find him in the database and he was now grinding his teeth, glaring at the screen.

"He has to be here."

I sighed and glanced at him the dark bags under his eyes even more evident in the harsh lights of the bare room.

He was furious.

"Why don't you try contacting the ambassador? Spocks grandfather?"

Jim looked at me like I'd grown a second head and I felt the urge to smack him. Contrary to some hobgoblins claims I do actually have good ideas sometimes.

So he searched for Selek and sure enough after a rather complicated process the screen beeped and the old vulcan man appeared on screen his eyebrows rising minutely when he realised who it was. It was strange; he looked so much like the commander even managing the same stuffy posture.

"Captain Kirk. You are on the colony."

"Yep. Have you seen Spock?"

"You are not with him?"

"No. he got called to some ceremony and as soon as he got here he went silent. Haven't heard anything since so…"

"So you decided the best course of action was to come here and find him?"

"Well yeah."

The ambassador was quiet for minute hands tented in front of him and glanced at something off screen his eyes softening for a second before he looked back.

"I cannot talk here Jim; I will attempt to find the commander. I will meet you in the visitor's garden."

And with that he signed off leaving me staring at Jim's reflection in the blank screen. I barely had a second to open my mouth before he was up and out of the door hollering his head off that I should get a move on.

So we hotfooted it down to the main area of the centre trying to find the blasted garden, we must've wandered around for ten minutes straight before some snooty kid with that shiny black haircut and a long woollen looking tunic asked us if we had a intended destination.

Jim went all father figure on him, smiling and trying to joke with the kid which I think just made it worse for the poor bugger, his mouth twitching in barely hidden horror.

After about five minutes of confusion the kid finally raised a hand and pointed towards a corridor raising an eyebrow sharply and practically running away to a group of equally severe looking kids.

So we made our way down there and sure enough we got to the garden, it was sweltering outside the controlled atmosphere of the centre and the oppressive heat surrounded us as soon as the door slid open. I sucked in a breath of pungent swampy air, dark red grass and orange stone pathways wound around the small space, dotted with winding brown trees, golden brown leaves fluttering in the stiff breeze.

Jim instantly spotted the old man, grabbing my arm and yanking me in his direction. He stood as we reached him and made a face Spock normal does when he is trying to smile without actually moving his lips.

"Jim. It is fortunate to see you again."

"Yeah of course. So, listen what's going on here?"

"I am not entirely sure captain. From what I can deduce commander Spock has been stopped in all attempts to contact you since his arrival here, not only that but he was brought to the colony on false pretences and I suspect the vulcan high council may have some involvement."

"Wow… when you go to work you really go to work don't you. You honestly think the council is involved?"

"Yes if my suspicions are correct this has severe implications for our fledgling community growth."

Jim tilted his head patting the older man on the arm and he turned to me doing that weird smiling thing again.

"Doctor McCoy, if you would like to lead us inside I can take you to the commander."

I didn't need an excuse to get out of the heat, my clothes were beginning to cling to me and my skin was uncomfortably flushed. So I led them back through the sliding doors and suddenly the old man was off, moving surprisingly quick on his feet, whipping around corners and up stairs before I even registered where we were.

He stopped suddenly in a bare corridor his eyes twinkling as Jim and I puffed and gasped for air. He wasn't even out of breath instead walking casually down the corridor and indicating with his hand that we should stay there.

Disappearing into a nearby doorway Jim glanced at me and again I was remained of how young he was, how new this whole thing still was for him.

He stood up hands on hips smoothing his hair down and blushing when he saw me watching.

"You look lovely."

I was grumbling sure, but it seemed to cheer him up a little his posture a little cockier, more confident. We both looked up when the ambassadors grey robes rustled into view, behind them the thin black legs of our science officer.

There was a beat of silence and then…

"_Jim?"_


	24. Chapter 24

_A/N: Okay so I don't really like this one and I feel especially bad because it's been so long._

Spock blinked; his mind was empty and clear of emotion. He turned the corner into the corridor on the heels of the ambassador, the air was cooler here and he easily managed to control the shiver that tried to leap up his spine, his eyes peeling up from the floor and landing on two men grinning at him.

The vulcan stopped and squeezed his eyes shut to hold back the rush of emotion that threatened to implode the walls in his mind, he let out a shivery breath certain he had simply imagined these phantoms. His eyes shot open and yet they were still there, still smiling, still shining brightly beautiful. Well Jim was, the doctor looked pleased at least and Spock took a step forwards a hand reaching out before he could stop it and he quickly moved it behind his back.

"Jim?"

It did not seem possible that he had made it here, made it to the colony and yet Jim Kirk was renowned for finding a way in, a way to win so it was to be expected.

The blonde man beamed his hair hand styled, cheeks flushed, his beautiful smile, white teeth and plump lips, those eyes and Spock sucked in a haggard breath as the captain laughed joyously running full pelt down the hall and jumping up his arms, grabbing at Spocks neck his arms dragging him down encasing him in a tight embrace, a shuddering breath that vibrated in his own chest and he let his arms fall to his side and then up, pushing Jim from his chest so he could wrap his own arms loosely around the slim waist of his lover.

The stood in silence just holding each other in the thrumming air and Spock fought to reign in his emotions, to block the love the joy the overwhelming relief he felt here in the captains arms.

"Spock…why didn't you call and you've been silent on the bond and…you're still doing it? Sweet pea what's going on?" he was whispering in the vulcans ear and Spock suppressed a shudder slowly releasing the shorter man.

"Jim it is not appropriate to speak here. You must wait for me in my lodgings. I am expected to return in three minutes."

Jim gaped at him, his expressionless face, his calm even breathing and Spock straightened his shoulders looking away from his lover and up to the ambassador.

"Will you escort the captain and doctor McCoy to my lodgings? Please ensure they are not seen wandering near my accommodations, the situation is delicate and it is imperative that…"

Footsteps were heard approaching both vulcans blinked at each other in silent understanding. Spock turned back to the captain, who was staring up at him a hurt expression in his shining eyes.

"Jim please you must go, you cannot be discovered here."

Jim nodded a sad smile playing on his lips, tone unsure. "I missed you."

"And I you."

He ducked is head and Jims eyes narrowed for a second, his face softening. He had seen something in Spock's features that had shown him the relief he felt, the _joy_, and the Vulcan cursed himself, how was it that despite his best efforts he was unable to control his outward displays of emotion.

Or was it simply that Jim could see them regardless?

The small group hurried away and Spock turned clenching his hands as he battled with his emotions, building powerful barriers to keep his mind clear and excise all emotion from his features.

Two ministers rounded the corner ahead and greeted him with polite nods of their heads the shorter female looking up at him, earnest.

"Commander. A hearing has been put into order for the matter of your bond with captain James Tiberius Kirk. You will be expected to attend at noon in front of the population committee in two days."

Spock raised an eyebrow "I was not aware it was protocol to be informed of such events at such an early phase in proceedings. It was my understanding I was to be informed as and when the case began."

The woman turned her head to look at her male companion and the shared a quiet moment before turning back to the commander.

"You would be correct. It was the opinion of some of the council members that you should be given time to prepare your case."

Spock dipped his chin a fraction of an inch and fixed her with a piercing stare "Then my gratitude is with those council members."

The woman nodded and together the pair walked around Spock leaving him alone in the corridor his mind whirring into action before he returned to the laboratory.

Once again time seemed to slow and the commander glared at his test tube stopping himself once he realised he may be expressing his emotions. The scent of Jim still lay painted on his skin and he longed to see him again, to hear him speak, to argue and joke and listen as Jim explained some bizarre human tradition or interaction.

Soon the harsh beep that signalled the end of his shift at the academy sounded and he rose from his seat entering the last bits of data and walking calmly out of the building across the warm slightly breezy landscape and towards the looming grey structure, the accommodation block.

He entered the lift and stood in silence with his fellow scientists careful to keep his breathing even and soft as he exited and quickly made his way to his door opening it in a swift familiar motion and locking it behind him.

Turning he titled his head in confusion, doctor McCoy and the ambassador were absent and Jim was lain curled in a ball on the sparse sheets, shoes lying haphazardly near the door, a luckily faint pink blush covering his face and neck where his skin had been burnt by the harsh sun.

Spock licked his lips placing his work on the desk and silently making his way over to sit beside the captains head on the hard mattress. He snuffled and the vulcan was again over whelmed by the urge to call this display 'cute' and so he allowed himself a smile, cheeks aching with unfamiliar strain, hand reaching out to run through the soft scrub of blonde hair at the nape of the captains neck.

A snort and the captain blinked blearily up at him a smile forming on his lips and he yawned stretching his arms out and pushing himself up so he was sat side by side with the vulcan.

"Hey."

His voice was soft, quiet and Spock leant against his shoulder "Hello."

"How was work?"

"The research is continuing as expected."

"What's going on?"

Spock licked his lips and faced his lover, his chest heavy with concern as he prepared to explain the situation. "I was informed that in two days I will be subject to a hearing in front of the population committee with regards as your request to bond."

"Great, that's good right?" he sounded hopeful and Spock looked away.

"It would seem that is not the case. When I arrived here I was greeted by several ministers who informed me I was to be kept on the colony until further notice and I was not to contact you or Starfleet. It was made clear that the council's suspicion was that it is my intention to bond with you and disappear into space with little to no contact or involvement with the new vulcan settlement."

"That's ridiculous! You are always buried in paperwork and reports and letters about the new colony! Lobbying for culturally sensitive issues and everything, I don't know where they are getting this from."

"I do not know Jim. However the actions of some of the ministers has improved my estimations somewhat .As you left two ministers approached me and informed me of the date and time of the hearing. This is unheard of in cases such as this. I fear that the xenophobia concerned with humans will be an issue in our defence."

"It's not very logical to hate someone just because of their species."

"This is true."

Jim just smiled up at him and pressed a soft kiss to the area just below his ear. "Well it doesn't matter. I'll just go in there and tell them straight."

Spock sighed his face aching with the relief as he had spent so long holding back his expressions and now alone with Jim he was once again allowed his freedom. "I daren't wish that your testimony is enough."

They spent the remaining evening alone reacquainting themselves with each other in the dead silence of the accommodation block, leaving them sated and clasped in a tight embrace beneath the sheets.

Spock had finally allowed his emotions to flow in thick stream into his mind and up the bond, Jims eyes lighting up and his answering love, tenderness, and joy seeping back over and spreading through the Vulcan's veins making him feel warm and peaceful almost as though he had become encased in a large thick blanket that wrapped around his mind and made him drowsy and so with a smile he closed his eyes.

The next morning Spock awoke at his customary time, slipping reluctantly from his lovers grasp. He washed and dressed quickly combing his hair in the plain square mirror in his cabinet, turning his head sharply as Jim awoke with a yawn.

"Good morning."

"Good morning Jim."

The captain slipped from the bed unashamed in his nakedness and Spock looked away blushing slightly. He was resplendent, his skin glowing in the soft morning light and he longed to run his hands over the supple expanse of his shoulders. Eyes shocking and bright against pale cheeks, hair sticking straight up in a golden halo, lips peach pink and luscious. Jim scratched his stomach and Spock slammed his comb down blinking at the loud crack in the quiet morning air.

His control was slipping and fast.

Jim turned to him in surprise a smug grin growing on his face when he noticed the Vulcan's shaking hands, the flush to his cheeks. He moved slowly over to the commander touching him lightly on the back of his hand and grasping his wrist, using it to pull him around so they were facing each other.

He kept those shining blue eyes locked to Spocks as he guided the commanders hand up his chest and over his shoulder and then readjusting his grip pushed it down so Spocks fingertips dragged gently over his bare buttock and the Vulcan let out a shuddering breath reaching out and yanking him closer, hands clenching on his exposed skin, lips pressed to the smooth joint at the base of his neck.

Jim pulled his face up and kissed him, softly, sweetly and with such care that Spock actually whimpered. The captain chuckled and pulled back a little, thumb smoothing over the high cheekbones.

"Jim, I must dine alone if I am to keep the illusion that you are not present, at least until the trial."

Jim smiled cupping his cheek. "Right, okay. Well the old man said I needed to learn a few things about Vulcan culture and courts and stuff anyway. So I'll just do that while you work."

Spock smiled and kissed him, a soft peck to the corner of his mouth. "I shall miss you."

"Aww I will miss you too sweet pea."

They parted ways, the Vulcan finding it difficult to turn his back on such beauty, taking a deep breath at the door and almost too easily slipping back into his blank state, pure logic.

Well, _almost_.

His blocks held up against his desire to see Jim again until the short lunch period in which he hurried to the ambassador personal residence knocking politely on the door until the older man's face appeared on the small screen beside him.

"Ah Spock. Come in."

He bowed his head and pushed the door open walking carefully though a more ornately decorated dwelling than any other Vulcan home. The walls were beige but bright hangings and strange alien artwork dotted the rooms, the air thick with meditation incense. Spock made his way to the open back door and out into a slightly cooler shaded garden where he found Jim and the ambassador, paper strewn around them. At a second glance he noticed the doctor lying further away on the short red grass, hands over his eyes, stripped of his jacket and shoes.

"Jim."

The captain looked up grinning and quickly got to his feet striding over. He leant up and pressed a soft peck to Spock lips hand on his chest and then turned back to where the older man was luckily facing the other way, a slight smile on his face and Bones let out a grunt which seemed to take place of a greeting.

"Spock. The old man here was just telling me about the whole breeding program thing."

Spock raised an eyebrow and followed him to the papers settling on the ground beside him the vulcan men sharing an understanding look. "Jim is an excellent student. Surprisingly interested in the finer points of Vulcan culture if lacking the eloquence needed to describe it."

Spock leant his head towards him and allowed his happiness slip across the bond, the captain beaming in response. "Commander. Do you believe it is necessary for the captain and doctor McCoy to remain here? If I am able to disguise them Jim has professed a wish to see more of the colony."

Spock blinked at his lover and fought the urge to roll his eyes, of course the more incorrigible captain wanted to go outside, wanted to do the risky thing. He never chose the safe option.

Jim's hands were clasped up his chin much like a small child that could barely contain their excitement, his azure eyes impressively wide and pleading lips quivering slightly and he found himself unable to refuse.

"I do not see why in proper disguises you cannot show them more."

The ambassador bowed his head. "That was my estimation."

Jim beamed and jumped up wrapping his arms around Spocks neck and pressing a wet kiss to his blushing cheekbone. "Thanks sweet pea. I'd love for you to show me..."

"My apologies Jim. I regret that I may not see my culture anew through your eyes."

Jim smiled sadly and McCoy groaned as he moved himself up to his elbows. "But it's so hot. Why can't we just stay inside? What are these disguise exactly? I'm not dying of heat stroke because Jim can't sit still for five bloody minutes."

Spock had returned to work his chest stirring with emotion that he fought to keep from his mind. He was anxious about the trial, anxious about informing his father of the bond and he longed to spend his days back on the ship back at work.

He craved the comfort of the job, the routine _and_ the adventure.

When his shift ended he all but ran to his lodgings closing the door behind him and striding into the room, Jim leaping from the desk to wrap his arms around him. He shuddered under Jims touch, he cried out in the night air and when they were sated and sleepy and warm they spoke of their adventures, the gossip from the ship what Jim had done that day anything that wasn't Spock's experiments, that wasn't about the impending trial.

Spock didn't wake until his door trilled late the next morning. He frowned as he woke, arms wrapped around his lover, the sweet scent of his skin engulfing him. He did not want to rise but the trill was insistent and he slipped from the sheets wrapping a long gown around him.

Today was his day off, the experiments needed time to brew and he was not expected so this was not related to his work. The door slid open and he carefully blocked any view of the bed and the still sleeping captain.

"Commander Spock, you have been called in front of the population committee in two hours."

He lifted his chin "Understood."

The fierce gaze of the official flickered down his form and then he was gone leaving the Vulcan to turn back and stare helplessly at his lover, smiling as he dreamt. "Jim, Jim you must awake. We must be in the council chambers at noon."

The captain moaned and rolled over revealing his bare torso and the beginnings of the curve of his backside. Spock inhaled sharply and shook his head attempting to control his desires. He dared think that he may never come to find such a sight as mundane. Jim cracked an eye opened and grinned up at him smugly.

"Like what you see?"

Spock blinked down at him and then glanced in the mirror, his face was flushed, hand's clenched, eyes wide. He looked back to Jim who licked his lips and rolled from the bed. "C'mon. Let's shower."

Spock raised an eyebrow confused for a mere moment as he was led by the wrist to the small adjoining bathroom Jims throaty chuckle ringing in his ears.

Eyebrows rose as they strode step for step towards the tall thin building that held the council chambers, Vulcan's turning to stare at the stranger and yet every single one knew how he was, voices following them like the roar of a swarm. Vulcans by nature did **not** gossip, they mused, pondered on occurrences and dissected them logically.

Never 'gossip'.

Guards greeted them at the plain doors side stepping to halt their movements. Spock raised a Vulcan salute and they returned the gesture. "My name is Spock. I have been called to the population committee; this man here is my co-defendant in the case."

Then men regarded Jim carefully, stiff gray uniforms making their serious expressions even more severe, matching haircuts and cold eyes. "Human, what is your name?"

"I am captain James t. Kirk of the starship Enterprise."

They turned back to Spock in perfect synch. "You may proceed."

And in one swift elegant movement the pair stepped aside and Spock strode forwards Jim trailing only little as they entered the impressive and somewhat humbling council chambers, Spock weaving and winding his way through what seemed like endless staircases and corners completely and disconcertingly empty of all life.

Finally they arrived at the correct room and Spock turned on his heel to face Jim. They had arrive a full minute before proceedings were due to begin. "Did the ambassador inform you of proper protocol?"

"Uh I don't speak unless spoken to?"

"Precisely."

"I'll do my best."

Spock smiled and raised his hand Jims fingers meeting his instantly. "I am aware of that."

He turned sharply and his heel and Jim straightened his shoulder trying to keep his usual nervous smile from spreading over his features. Spock felt pride and passed it over the bond receiving a short tense smile from Jim in return, this hearing was but a proceeding, if they were denied then they could still be together, it was not imperative.

The door swung open at noon and together they walked to a small stone podium in a large empty room. Above them high on a stage type area the council as seated, the head minister slightly higher than the others. He looked down at them with the same snooty expression he used for every person he met. The council were dressed in identical grey robes that hung off them cutting regal figures in the barren room.

It was cold here, colder than anywhere else on the colony and the vulcan easily suppressed a shiver.

Jim flexed his hands beneath their podium and Spock placed his hands behind his back staring the minister's in the eye. There were two crowds of citizens to each side of them, impassive faces staring at them like accusatory walls.

"Spock son of Sarek you have been called in front of this committee due to your request to form a bond with... "

His lips twitched and Jim fought the urge to scowl his annoyance slipping across the bond to Spock who sent only love back. It was important to remain calm.

"James Kirk. A human."

Spock titled his chin up high his shoulders straight posture perfect.

"This council cannot accept your request; did you not consider the repopulation effort? Or perhaps you feel that your own personal desires outweigh the continuation of our race?"

Spocks eyes flickered over the other council remembers and he almost rose an eyebrow. The majority were now staring at the head minister, a stunned light to their eyes. He raised his baton to bang to ceremonial drum and Spock dropped his hands frowning. He could feel Jims anger radiating not only through the bond but between the short distance from his own arm to Jims slightly shaking shoulders.

"I believe it is my right to defend my request."

The minister licked his lips glaring at the commander. "If you believe it will help."

"It is not my intention to bond with the captain and simply leave this colony. I have contributed just as much as any surviving Vulcan, my father remains here as do my colleagues. I cannot abandon my duties to them and to my heritage."

The minsters lips quirked in a Vulcan smirk. "You expect us to take your word for it? You, Commander Spock, a vulcan who left our home planet to cavort with humans to study at _their_ academy with their scientist than those of your own people? It would be illogical."

Spock's eyes narrowed and Jim opened his mouth to speak, hands slamming down against the podium with such force that a hush filled the room. It was then another voice piped up from the crowd.

"Ministers, as Spocks father I believe I have the right to express my opinions to this committee."

Spock turned his head sharply and met the eye of Sarek, his face betraying nothing, voice demanding of respect even in front of the ministers.

"You may speak."

Sarek stepped from the crowd and crossed he room in silence, graceful movements and perfect posture, Jims shock was answered by Spocks and they inched just a mere inch closer to each other in hope.

"Minister, I believe this entire trail you have brought against my son is illogical in its very nature. Is it not true that you, Soran, lobbied to have Vulcan removed from Starfleet, to break ties with the humans. Is it not also true that captain Kirk is my sons t'hy'la, therefore to deny their bond would be illogical. I can only conclude that your judgement is unjust due to your hatred of humans and subsequently your hatred of my son's relationship with one."

The minster glared at him, and Spock blinked as time seemed to slow, every breath every tremor in the ancient face of the head minster sending shivers down his spine.

It was unheard of for a leading figure in Vulcan society to make such a claim in front of the full council. Sarek had been standing in front of Spock and Jim whilst he spoke and now he turned staring blankly at his son before continuing his statement.

"Furthermore if this **is** the case then I move to submit this ruling to a vote due to bias amongst council members."

The minister almost snarled his eyes black as he stared down at the unflinching man. Spock heart thudded in his chest, his eyes growing just a fraction as he watched his father take control of proceedings, his regal air commanding respect with a simple dip of his head.

"Ministers if you will, raise your hands if you would grant my sons request."

There were nine ministers present and Spock watched breath catching his throat as 1...3...5...7 minsters raised their hands leaving just the head minister and a rather stern squat Vulcan female near him with their hands on their laps.

Jim beamed looking to Spock in his joy and Spock raised an eyebrow making the captain blush as he tried to bite down on the blinding smile.

"Thank you ministers."

Sarek turned and exited the echoing room not sparing a glance to the ecstatic couple still stood stock still at the podium. Spock's hands were shaking as he placed them behind his back again and fought to stop his own grin from bursting forth on his features.

Jims overwhelming joy was like electricity across is mind and he took a rattling breath, blinking slowly as he tried in vain to calm his squirming insides.

The head minister almost growled out his closing words. "Due to the council's vote, Spock son of Sarek I have no option but to accept your request to bond with Captain James Kirk."

He banged the drum its metallic ringing filling the room, almost eerie in the silence and Spock was struck with a strange thought, how odd that a ceremonial drum can sound so much like jubilant bells.

"Ministers. I wish to thank you for your consideration."

He turned sharply on his heel glancing across to his lovers, his bright eyes, still fading blush and barely hidden grin and together they walked out of the doors and into the cool outer chamber. As soon as the doors shut behind them Jim beamed and jumped up wrapping his arms around Spock and hugging him tightly, laughing and whooping with joy.

"Oh love I can't believe it. Your dad is the best!"

Spock smiled and placed his hands on Jims hips, the excitement was clear in his eyes and Spock felt it himself, a thrumming vibrating pulse in the pit of his stomach that made his hands shake and heart bet thunder in his chest.

"I must admit I was surprised. We have had a distant relationship... although I am curious as to how he learnt of our impeding bond."

Jim titled his head shaking it slightly. "I love you."

"I love you Jim."

The captain stepped back and tapped his fingers to Spocks, joy and love and Spocks immense relief filled the tiny room and together they turned to leave winding through the hallways until, two floors down the vulcan stopped hearing familiar voices ahead.

"God dammit, you vulcans just love to be mysterious don't you."

It was the doctor, his annoyed tone failing to dampen his spirit, blinding bliss filling his veins and pouring from every cell in his body. They rounded the corner to find a rather amused ambassador, a slightly affronted looking Sarek and Bones glaring grumpily up at the Vulcan. They all turned to face the couple and Jim ran up to his friends grabbing him and hugging him tightly with a loud and excited whoop.

"They said yes Bones! Yes! I can't believe it I thought I was going to die with shock."

Bones laughed and patted him on the back his eyes meeting Spocks. "Congratulations Jim, Spock."

Spock ducked his head, eyes bright, shoulders relaxed. Sarek stepped forwards hands behind his back, chin raised. "Spock."

The commander ducked his head respectively and faced his father. "Father"

"Spock to know that you have found your place in this universe is gratifying."

"You have my gratitude."

Jim let Bones go and rubbed his hands on his pants stepping towards his lover and puffing his chest out. "Sarek... thank you. I can't express how much what you did means to me...to us. You have made me and Spock so happy."

Sarek raised an eyebrow glancing at his son who had the grace to look offended at the notion. The ambassador stepped forwards also placing his hands behind his back.

The commander felt Jims amusement slide over the bond and he smiled internally, clearly the fact that this pose was common among the three vulcans was humorous to humans.

"Spock I believe your services are no longer required at the academy. You are free to return to your service aboard the enterprise."

Spock sighed and nodded to his older counterpart. "Then I must ask a favour of you ambassador, Jim, the doctor and I will require a ship to return to star base."

"I am sorry Spock, I must refuse."

Jim frowned his confusion and hurt slicing across the bond and Spocks eyes flickered between his father and Selek and then he understood. Jim sighed glancing at Spock and then back to Selek his eyebrows knitted in confusion.

"The enterprise is currently orbiting the colony. I believe Mr. Scott will be able to beam you aboard from the transport pads at the visitor centre."

He was smirking; his lips only barely curved, eyebrow raised just a fraction eyes alight with humour. Jim blushed smiling sheepishly at his lover.

"Oh."


End file.
